I believe that... Shadow... is... DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. Well, now that I've promptly invoked the wrath of the Shadow fangirls, time to get on with the chapterSHADOWSDEADDEADDEADDEADANDHEWONTEVERCOMEBACKDEAD!
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There goes the... Wait... Who the heck are you?
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The android walked down the desolate corridors. Most of his memory banks had been wiped. He tried to recall his name. It... was something... he remembered that he hated it when people mispronounced his name, and called him a... some form of freshwater fish... It started with a "B"... B... Ba... Baa... Bass! That was his name, Bass! He remembered an old guy in a lab coat, telling him... some sort of plan... a schematic... he couldn't recall the rest... then, he woke up in that lab... the odd furball thing greeted him, and told him all sorts of lies. He didn't have a way to prove that they were, but deep down, he always knew. He also remembered that he... he was supposed to do something for the man in the lab coat... Eliminate... some blue person... the person... had a red brother... and an arm that could change into a cannon, much like his own. He could't remember the rest. He eventually came to a big door labeled "EXIT". He opened the door and peered cautiously outside. Who knew what dangers awaited him, even as he thought. Bass looked around, and saw something peculiar. A clown man being severely beaten by a pink furball creature. Nearby, there was an orange-yellow furry thing with two extensions to it's design attached to the small of it's back. It appeared idle. Then, a spiky blue creature, also idle, with a severed mechanical arm laying next to him. Wait a second, blue? Was this the person that he was supposed to eliminate? No. The person he was supposed to eliminate was slightly taller, and much, much more humanoid. He pondered what to do. Should he just ignore the whole thing? Well...
Well, he should probably go help them.
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Fo-Lou fought long and hard for all of five seconds, and emerged victorious from the battle. He did that wierd, non-chalant, walking away victory pose. Then he gazed at the stars and went into an extremely long, extremely BORING monologue about the events of Breath of Fire IV (The game that they're all from) before trailing into a pointless spasm of ilk about everything from Atkins sucking the life from weasels, to the day he became a man, to his hatred of baklavah, to his time in prison for stealing a magic talking chicken of solid leather eggs. I won't bore you with his "Speecheth".
Moving on...
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Site dashed to the battlefield... battleroad, whatever, with all his speed. When he arrived only moments later he saw quite a sight to behold. Kefka was running from Amy, who was being chased by some looney with an arm-gun-thing. All three of them were yelling things, but the only thing he could make out for the duration of it was Kefka screaming, "IF THIS IS BECAUSE OF THE SOCK I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY!" Eventually, Kefka tripped on a rock, Amy tripped over Kefka, and the gun-arm-looney jumped over the both of them and yelled for Amy to cease and desist. She jumped at the loon, and latched on to him. He pried her away without much difficulty, and yelled at her to "Protect the environment! Don't waste oil!" and kicked her away with threats of calling the Greenpeace people. The situation seemed to be under control, so Site decided to go and locate Cream. If he hurried, maybe she would let him watch Perfect Hair Forever with her. Which tells us much about Site's ability to arrange his priorities. He dashed away, since everybody was either unconcious, being severely beaten with a gun-arm, or doing the gun-arm beating.
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Link stared through the glass of the containment chamber he was in. Perhaps... perhaps, if he were to use the Song of Passing, and then angle the sunlight with his mirror shield so that it hit the glass walls, he could, in theory, melt the glass away. Unfortunately, he would need help. The villain who had himself and the others locked up had switched all of their stuff around. He didn't know who had what. After a moment or two of dead silence, he held up the strange spear on a rope he had recieved, and asked the spectre, Scorpion, "Hey, is this yours?" The spectre turned, his soulless eyes widening. "You are the one who has received the Bloody Spear?" Link nodded to Scorpion. "Yeah. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a small, blue Ocarina, would you?" Scorpion searched his person, but before he could reply, a young-sounding voice, with a slight rasp to it, said, "I have one!" Link turned to the direction the voice came from. A small boy, Raz, with disturbingly mishapen calve muscles and head, held the ocarina. Link nodded, "Thats the one. Is... uh... what the heck is this?" Link asked, holding up a piece of bacon. Yes, bacon. Raz simply replied with, "Oh, thats some bacon for this guy that comes out of my ear sometimes." Link took a step away from the boy. "Oookaaay... well, I need you to play a certain song on that ocarina." Link showed the notes to the big headed child, and, after a few tries, Raz got the melody right. Time passed rapidly for Raz, but, unfortunately, not for the rest of them. So, after about eight hours, Raz asked, "What now?" Link forced a smile, "Well, now we need to find out who has my Mirror Shield."
"I have a wierd shield that has a mirror in it!" Link looked over to the source of the reply, and saw the scientist guy, Gordon. He held the shield up. "Good. Gordon, I want you to focus the Mirror Shield so that a beam of light is reflected onto the glass, which, in theory--"
"Will cause the glass to burn and melt away, right?"
"Bingo."
And so, after what seemed like an eternity, Gordon was free. Link nodded in approval. "Now, do the rest of the cells." Gordon gave him a questioning look, then replied with, "Or, I could just push the 'door open' buttons on the cells." Link was about to protest with his reasoning, when he realised that his only reasoning was that melting the rest of the glass cells would be cooler, and that was it. So, he shut up, and let Gordon open the cells. And they all made a hasty retreat, like any intelligent being (Plus Nemesis) would. They got everybody's equipment sorted out, and managed to get pretty deep into the forest before they had to settle down and camp, which was where Raz got the idea to sing camp songs. More on that after the "To be continued...", which, conveniently enough, happens right... about... NOW!
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To be continued...
Another short chapter. Okay, here are the songs, JUST the titles, though, the songs all suck.
Link-Legend of Zelda: Field theme (with lyrics)
Raz-The Bacon Song (I like bacon, I like bacon! I like, I like, I like bacon!)
Nemesis-The STARS song (STARS STARS STARS STARS STARS!)
Gordon Freeman-"I will prevail!"
Scorpion-The "GET OVER HERE!" song.
Bowser- He didn't sing. He still lacks a mouth.