Title: I Finally Remembered You. Part 23 – Still Not A Date
Rating: R/NC-17 for other chapters
Pairing: Xander/Angel
Summary: AU futurefic. Slash. Xander, not Buffy, had gone to see Angel in "I Will Remember You" Years later, he finally keeps his promise.
Spoilers: All of BtVS & Ats
Warnings: M/M, mild language, more in future chapters
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Words in Italics indicate thoughts.
They were sitting across from each other in the restaurant. Xander was eating heartily and Angel was picking at the food he had ordered. Angel was wondering if this was a date now.
"It's still not a date." Xander said, in a pause between bites.
Did I say that out loud? Angel asked himself.
"I'm not sure if you were wondering or not, so I just wanted to clarify, that this is still not a date." Xander stressed.
Whew, I guess I didn't say it out loud.
"So how is it not a date this time?" Angel asked.
"Well, I never said yes."
"Huh?" Angel asked eloquently.
"When you asked if I would like to go out, I never said yes."
"Oh." Angel replied sadly.
"Besides, I think we need to give this whole, "let's start by being friends" thing more than a couple of hours, before we move on to the next stage."
"That does make sense, I guess." Angel agreed reluctantly.
"That's me, Xander the Maker of Sense." Xander said, as he leaned back from his plate, having stopped just short of licking it clean.
Angel chuckled, "Do you have tights to go with that superhero name?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Xander teased.
"Actually, I probably would." Angel muttered under his breath.
Seeing that Xander had finished, the waitress removed their plates and asked if they had saved room for dessert. Angel chuckled at the 'Duh' look that Xander shot her.
"There is always room for dessert; the stomach has a chamber reserved solely for dessert, so that no matter how much else you eat, you can still have dessert." Xander explained to her patiently.
They placed their dessert order with the waitress.
"So, even though you're getting dessert, it's still not a date?" Angel asked, teasingly.
"Nope, still not a date." Xander confirmed. "Even with dessert, still not a date."
"Okay." Angel said, dejectedly.
"Although, it's mostly still not a date for reasons of plausible deniability." Xander admitted.
"Again, Huh?" Angel asked in confusion.
"Well, Wills always asks if I've started dating yet. It's like one of the first things she says to me. And, as I'm sure you've figured out, I can't lie to Willow worth crap. So, when she asks if I'm dating anyone, I can say no." Xander explained.
"Oh, so you would be ashamed of dating me?" Angel asked, hurt.
"NO!" Xander realized he had shouted and that everyone in the restaurant had turned to stare at him. He made 'turn back around' motions with his hands until everyone pretty much had turned back around. "I'm just not sure what we are yet, and I'm not really prepared to tell Willow or anyone yet. Because, ya know, Willow is not so good with the secret keeping. Everyone, including Buffy, would know in less than an hour. And I am so not prepared to tell Buffy anything yet, or you know, ever. Are you?"
Angel thought for about half a second on that, "Uh, no. And, I guess I can see where you're coming from with Willow. I really don't want to be dust, now that I've found you again."
"Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't dust you, probably just make an important part of your body fall off." Xander said, nonchalantly. "Kennedy, however, probably would, she takes after Buffy, in the stake first, ask questions later thing."
"Yeah, so, still not a date, because you don't want to tell Willow yet or have to lie to her. I'm behind that." Angel said.
"Speaking of Willow, we probably need to get going." Angel said, glancing at his watch. He signaled for the waitress to bring him the check.
After Angel had paid for dinner, they headed outside to the car.
"So, I have to ask. Do you like Kennedy? I only ask because Spike never really had great things to say about her." Angel queried.
Xander thought for a moment. Should he tell Angel what he really thought? Then, he realized that he fully trusted Angel not to repeat their private conversations to anyone.
"Honestly, she's okay, I guess. Willow likes her. She's kinda got the spoiled little rich girl thing going for her. She also thinks very highly of her own skills and I think, she thinks the whole slayer thing is her due. Like she deserved to be a slayer more than anyone else. And, I'm not sure how she really feels about Willow. I just think she sorta rushed Willow into a relationship. I know it had been almost a year since Tara died, but….I just don't think Willow was ready. Kennedy is beautiful and physically strong. Tara was beautiful, inside and out, she was also brilliant and one of the strongest people I know, maybe not physically strong like Kennedy, but spiritually, mentally and emotionally strong."
Xander was lost in thought, warmed and wounded, by the memories of Tara.
"I guess, bottom line, Kennedy is no Tara." Xander said softly.
"You loved Tara?" Angel asked quietly.
"Sure I loved her, but not romantically. Tara and I, we first bonded over our mutual love for Willow. Then it developed into a friendship. I loved how she always tried to have Willow's best interests at heart. She and I have similar backgrounds, family wise. I mean, mine didn't tell me I was a demon or anything, in fact, they mostly said I was nothing. But, both our families tried to break us, and didn't succeed. She and I were….kindred spirits. Oh God, that was so 'Anne of Green Gables' but, I couldn't think of anything else to describe it. I have really spent waaaaaaaayyy too much time around girls."
Angel had been listening sadly to Xander's explanation, but, chuckled at Xander' horror at having used such a 'girly' phrase. He understood completely about Tara and was glad that Xander had someone like that in his life, if only for a little while.
"So, basically, you put up with Kennedy because Willow seems happy with her?" Angel summarized.
"Yeah, pretty much. Oh, uhm, you might want to be careful of her, I didn't really have time to tell Willow you were coming to the airport with me. So Kennedy won't be prepared to see you, she might….."
"Stake first and ask questions later?" Angel asked in amusement.
"Yeah, that." Xander said, sheepishly.
"So, we are going to the airport to pick up Willow, who has no idea I'm going to be there and might freak out and accidentally set me on fire and Kennedy, who'll probably stake me. And, assuming I survive introductions, I'll be acting as a pack mule, carrying loads and loads of luggage for someone who hates me. Are you sure this is still not a date? Why would I do this, if not for someone I am dating?"
"You do this, because you are trying to get on my good side and because you still feel the need to suffer for your soul." Xander replied breezily.
"Oh, you're also doing this because, although I didn't say yes to this request for a date, doesn't mean I'll say no the next time."
Angel was silent for a moment.
"But, what about Willow?"
"She only asks if I'm dating anyone right off the bat, if we were to start dating after I answered her question, then I wouldn't be lying." Xander explained, in typical Xanderlogic.
"Oh…..So, will you go out with me tomorrow night?"