A one-shot request for Predatress. Hope it stands up to expectations.
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Even before he catches up to me I can hear his voice. Its high and seems to find me no matter where I am. His own vocal tracking device.
"Roxas!"
You'd think he had nothing else to do. No plans to oversee. No keyblade masters to connive and twist to our whims. Instead he just makes a habit of following me everywhere I go.
"I'm right here."
In reality, I am no longer 'right here', because I'm still walking. Past the Memory Skyscraper and down through the dark alleyways. Shadows and other heartless sometimes pool up in the ground, but they barely raise their antennae before they sense me. They find the scent of the keyblade repelling. Its horrific to them.
Almost as powerful as their love for the keyblade master's heart. So I make them cower and scuttle away in fear. And Sora--the keyblade master draws them like a magnet. A magnet that might as easily destroy them as they might destroy it.
"The superior's been lookin everywhere for ya man. You shouldn't just run off like that."
I take pity on Axel and stop, standing over a grate in one of the darker alleys as I turn to face him. He's standing there, hunched over and panting, his hands on his knees and his overly spiked hair pointing straight up at the thunderclouds overheard, like some perverse compass seeking the most trouble.
"And you of all people listen to the superior?"
He flashes a smile at me, making the tattoos on his cheek bow to the sides. Fools like him can't seem to take an insult.
"No. But I was worried about you."
I can't even stand to let him finish his pathetic admission before I'm walking back along the alleys. I'm rarely allowed to come out of the castle, and into the city. Even though the heartless are terrified of me, I can control the Nobodies, who happen to be the only 'people' inhabiting this world.
"We are Nobodies. We can't worry about someone."
This isn't the first time I've had this conversation. Sometimes it was with Larxene, before she was killed. And sometimes its been with Demyx, though he likes to speak softly and bait me into discussing it with him. Axel on the other hand...he asks for it.
"There you go again. Do you really believe that? After all you've seen happen, you still believe that we can't feel anything, just because we're Nobodies?"
That pleading tone in his voice is starting to get really annoying. I turn around and open my mouth to refute him again, when the storm chooses that oh-so-appropriate moment to let loose. Thunder, lightning, and my personal favorite, rain. Pouring in cold sheets and sweeping across our world like a wall of water. Perhaps I'll ask Demyx next time if he can stop the rain. Finally give him a purpose.
"Ack. Cold."
Axel immediately pulls his hood up, covering his preciously sculpted mane. Only after his scalp sculpture is secured does he turn to me. I try and act like I don't care about the rain soaking into my pants and shirt. Like I'm not frustrated as my hair sags and seeps onto my neck, sticking there like slimy trails.
I have to act like I don't feel those things. Because otherwise, Axel wins. And if he wins...well...I don't really know what would happen. But I know I wouldn't like it.
"Where's your coat?"
I shudder despite my attempts to keep such a show of feeling from existing. With a quick glance around I realize there are no awnings are overhangs in this area. If I want to be dry, I will have to head back to the castle. The walk isn't too far, but it would defeat the purpose of me leaving to be by myself if I have to go back so soon.
I hear a zipper and snort, trying to flick the rain heavy clumps of hair out of my face.
"I forgot it. And don't even think about giving me yours." That would show a little too much feeling for me.
"No worries. I wasn't planning on it."
And yet, the rain stops. At least it stops pelting me with cold droplets that feel more like hail than rain. And there's a noticeably warm presence very very close to me.
The height difference between Axel and me is astounding when we're this close. He has his jacket unzipped and is holding it over my head, like a very small makeshift umbrella. And still my head only brushes against the bottom of his bicep.
Oh, and there is a pectoral in my field of vision now.
"You don't wear a shirt under you coat?"
I know I shouldn't be focusing on a fellow Organization member's state of undress at a time like this. But surely showing a little bit of interest will do no harm.
Said pectoral shakes a bit, and his stomach contracts as he laughs at me, his face covered in the shadows of his hood.
"Its more comfy this way. Plus, it was warm this morning in the castle, don't know what happened."
He was right of course, the wind was biting at us and trying to throw the raindrops up underneath the relative safety of Axel's upheld coat.
"Do you want to go back now? Or wait here till the storm lets up a bit?"
I'm not really paying attention to the question, or the ramifications of either answer I might give him. Instead I'm focused on how much his hip bones stick out to the side, pressing into the curve above my own. And how warm his body is, and how the rain running down my back no longer seems so icy.
"You can do whatever you want."
I feel him sag a bit at my answer. With a sigh I let myself lean just a fraction of my weight against him, my hair wet and no doubt uncomfortable against his ribs and chest, but he doesn't complain.
"But you're welcome to stay here with me. Keep me out of the rain."
He doesn't say anything. The awkward silence is making me wish I'd told him to escort me back to the castle. At least that way we would have been talking and moving. But now the only movement is his arm gently coming to rest on my shoulders, his hand still pulling out the tip of his coat for me.
When his hood shows up next to my face, in the unnatural shadows of the storm I can only see his lips and the barest fringe of red hair poking out along his neck and collarbone. For some reason, having his whole existence boiled down to those red lips and that fiery red hair makes me uncomfortable. I can't feel emotions for anyone, anything.
And yet there's something thats telling me there should be more between Axel and myself. Something screaming at me to just lean in closer to him. Maybe do something strange and daring. Run a hand up his exposed back, or turn and accidentally brush my lips across his chest.
But I don't have feelings, and I don't want to do anything. His lips against mine are nothing. He's just pretending that he feels something. That he wants me. That he loves me.
Even the arms wrapping completely around me, or the tongue flicking against my open lips do nothing for me.
"We should go back anyway, before you catch a cold."
His breath on my cheek is cold. I'm still wet from the rain, but my body pressed against him is almost warm. Almost alive. If I had a heartbeat I'm sure it would be pounding blood through my body, awakening parts of me and forcing a blush to my skin.
But I don't have one. So I merely nod to Axel, and his pleading green eyes. Always waiting for me to do something he knows I never will. Something strange. Something daring.
Instead I pull out from underneath his coat, as the rain has slowed to a drizzle for now, and walk without him back to the castle. The sound of his zipper being done up in the rain is almost obscene, and sad. I know he'll try again. Maybe he'll eventually force me.
But no. He would never take me against my will. Because then he'd have to see that I really can't feel. Like my still and steady mouth. Its there for him. Even if I pretend its not.
Let him be the one who has to feel.
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The end.
