Chapter 18:

Soul Searching

A/N: AHH, WOOHOO, I just got back from R&A, Therox make love March 19 people. Can't wait this is going to be awesome, I'm taping and never recording over it. YAAAAA WHOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Hey.", Theresa greeted. "You just missed your man."

"Dylan, was here?", Kathelina asked.

"He just left.", Theresa replied.

"What did he want?", Kathelina asked. "You to track down this Janet, were he could…."

"Kathelina.", Theresa interrupted. "Dylan is just confused that's all."

"Well, he made one thing very clear.", Kathelina began. "He wants this Janet, not me."

"Kat, don't do this.", Theresa began. "Don't give up on Dylan, he will figure things out on his own time."

"I'm not going to play second to Dylan's love, I'm not going to sleep with him, knowing he is envisioning another woman.", Kathelina replied.

"Kat, Dylan loves you, he's just afraid of getting hurt again.", Theresa told her. "Just give him time."

"Theresa, what would you do if you heard from Fox's own mouth that he loved another woman? That he loved her more than he could ever love you?", Kathelina asked. "How could you make love to him knowing, he lusts after another woman, that he fantasies about making whoopii with another woman?"

"I don't know what I'd do, I couldn't imagine what you're going through and I think God there is no one that could come between us.", Theresa replied.

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Whitney had just left.

It was funning, but he began to wonder if she was right if he ever loved Theresa. Yeah, they'd been through so much, and he cared for her, and he only wished her happiness. And, up to a couple a weeks ago, he thought he was her key to happiness and she was his, but anymore he wondered. Sam, she had bought out this happiness in him. A happiness Theresa couldn't, he felt a certain feeling when he was around Samantha, a feel he'd never felt before. Could it be lust, no he'd felt lust before, lust is when you want to just shack up and let it be forgotten.

"I do, love Theresa, she's my world, she's my everything.", Fox told himself. "Of course, I love Theresa, we over came everything just to be together. Ethan, mother, father, Dylan, Whitney, I love her."

"Fox, hey didn't think no one was here?", Rachel replied walking in the library. "Theresa finally wise up and see you for the worthless hypocrite you are?"

"Rachel, could you just go, I really don't feel like putting up with you're obnoxious theories and you're stupid smart-ass questions.", Fox told her.

"Well, well, well, this could only mean one thing I'm right, you're having troubles with Theresa, but the question is who's being unfaithful you are the little wifey?", Rachel asked.

"I'm not being unfaithful and neither is Resa.", Fox told her.

"At least not, yet, right Nicholas?", Rachel asked. "But, it's only a matter of times before you have the drama queen Samantha in between the sheets, while Theresa is either at home with the kiddies or do you plan on sending her to the cottage, you know to secure you're marriage to make sure you're not caught up in your affair, but, remember this Foxworth, one can go only go so long with out being caught and one can go even less with out giving in to his or her heart's desires."

"What are you talking about, I do not desire, Sam, I love my wife and unlike father I do plan on being faithful through my marriage.", Fox replied.

"Yeah, right Fox, you will try you're best not to, but mark my words you'll sleep with Sam.", Rachel replied. "Mark my words you'll ruin your marriage just to get Sam, between the sheets."

"No, I love Theresa, I would never…", Fox began.

"Yeah, you wouldn't sleep with her if you were in your right state of mine, but you aren't you are a driven man a man driven by lust and desire.", Rachel replied.

"You don't know what you are talking about.", Fox replied.

"Oh, really, it quite obvious that you are smitten by her.", Rachel replied. "

"Yeah, well the things she's been through, I'd never wish on my worst enemy.", Fox replied.

"What, happened to her, why do you look discussed, worried and scared all at the same time?", Rachel asked. "Fox, it's not good to keep this in side, it's not good to keep secrets, it'll only confuse and hurt you."

"I take it you want me to confide in you, so that you can use it to either hurt Sam or to act as if I betrayed her by telling you or is it both?". Fox asked.

"First off, that bitch isn't worth my time and secondly I don't tell secrets, even if I hate the person.", Rachel replied.

"You don't know Sam.", Fox told her.

"Yeah, well I know this much, she isn't what you think and she is nothing more than a home wrecking whore who was out to destroy your marriage from the get go.", Rachel replied. "You, think Ethan is a threat, you need to take a long hard look at your friend, Samantha."

"You are insane, Sam is a good person, Ethan is a monster.", Fox replied.

"NO, BOTH OF THEM ARE!", Rachel exclaimed. "They both are heartless monsters that only care about themselves."

"Why are you so quick to judge Samantha?", Fox asked.

"Fox, I'm not judging, I'm just saying she's not who you think she is.", Rachel replied. "You don't know her at all."

"Rachel, you haven't no right to make accusations about her, you don't know her.", Fox replied.

"Well, I know this much, she is going to destroy your marriage, and you are a fool to think of her as anything more than a conniving little bitch who is out to get in some rich guys pants.", Rachel replied.

"Rachel, I've heard enough.", Fox replied. "Get out now!"

"Sorry, if the truth hurts.", Rachel replied. "And, if you come to me complaining that you have ruined your life, I swear I'll look at you and laugh in your face."

Rachel turned and left.

"She's so obnoxious.", Fox said to himself. "She doesn't know anything about me or Sam."

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"Samantha?", Ethan asked.

"Ethan?', Sam asked.

"Wouldn't be eavesdropping on Fox and Rachel, now would we?", Ethan asked.

"No, I'm cleaning.", Sam told him.

"And, you just happen to be cleaning the mirror beside the library?", Ethan asked.

"Sorry, to disappoint but, I am not a snoop or a spy and I wouldn't even be here unless I had to.", Sam replied. "My father and brother's lives depends on this, on me seducing Fox.", Sam replied.

"You, mean, you destroying his marriage, by getting him so turned on that he can't resist you?", Ethan corrected.

"Basically.", Sam replied.

"So, you aren't in love with Fox?", Ethan asked.

"No.", Sam replied. "I like him yes, but I'm not in love with him my job is to get him in bed and I will. I can't let my feelings getting the way."

"I suppose, but, this must be hard for you. You, know sleep with a man you hardly know.", Ethan replied.

"Well, that technically isn't true.", Sam replied. "I know this much Fox is a good man and doesn't deserve to have his marriage ruined or to lose the woman he loves."

"Shh, you sound as if you have a conscience.", Ethan joked.

"Yeah, wouldn't want that now would we?", Sam asked.

"No, who knows Fox and you might fall in love", Ethan asked.

"How?", Sam asked. "He will hate me."

"Not, necessarily.", Ethan replied. "He might one day love you, once he realizes what his action cost him, his wife, his kids, his marriage."

"And, how would that be good, he'll blame me.", Sam replied. "And, he wouldn't be wrong too."

"True, but, he'll realize that Theresa and he wasn't meant to be that she is my soul mate and you're his.", Ethan replied.

"You, don't seriously, believe in that sort of stuff do you?', Sam asked.

"What, Love, Destiny, Fate, that sort of stuff?", Ethan asked. She nodded. "Yeah, I do, I believe in love, true love not the sexual attraction love that Fox and Theresa have."

"Well, I don't.", Sam replied. "Love is for fools."

"Really?", Ethan asked. "Why do you think that?"

"I don't know, I just do.", Sam replied. "Call it knowledge, experience, whatever. I just know that there is no such thing as love, because people, mainly me, aren't entitled to happiness."

"Really, what makes you think that?", Ethan asked.

"Life, hasn't been all that good to me, okay.", Sam replied. "I've lost everyone that I ever cared about and well I really have nothing to live for.", Sam replied.

"Why do you say that?", Ethan asked.

"Well, my life is a wreck always has been.", Sam replied. "I'd been better off to have never been born. Mom might be alive now. Jackie would have never hurt my brother and my father. My father's life wouldn't be threaded, neither would Frank's, Fox wouldn't be on his way to divorce court…"

Ethan grabbed her kissing her, Sam pulled back.

"What in the hell are you doing?", Sam asked, glaring at him.

"Shutting you up.",. Ethan replied. "And, what do you know it worked."

Sam glared at him. "Well there is other ways to silence a person with out grabbing them and stick your tongue down their throats."

"Really?", Ethan asked.

"Yeah, there is, such as placing your hand over there mouth or simply hollering shut up.", Sam replied.

"But, my way was more sufficient.", Ethan replied.

"Whatever.", Sam replied.

"Oh and, I'm glad you were born.", Ethan replied. "Cause, that kiss was great."

"Well, you really should treasure that one, you'll never kiss me again.", Sam replied.

"Never say never.", Ethan replied.

"Well, I guarantee that that is the last kiss you and I will ever share.", Sam replied.

"Why?", Ethan asked.

"Because.", Sam replied.

"You're scared of kissing people aren't you, you're scared of being with a man, because you have been hurt?", Ethan asked.

"No, I find you disgusting and ill-mannered, not to mention, egotistical, stuck-up, obnoxious…", Sam began.

"Psychosomatic, Controlling?", Ethan offered.

"No, you're not psychosomatic or controlling, you're confused yes and you do want ever it takes to keep what is yours but, I wouldn't say that you are either.", Sam replied. "Me on the other hand…"

"You're perfect.", Ethan told her. "Just perfect."

"No, I'm not.", Sam replied. "I'm messed up."

"So am I.", Ethan replied. "But, maybe we'll help each other?"

"Maybe,", Sam repeated, watching as Ethan leaned in his lips only inches from hers.

"Well, there is only one way to find out.", Ethan told her.

"Then, show me.", Sam replied, she leaned in closer taking his lips with hers.

"Uh-hmm?", Rachel walked in clearing her throat getting their attention. "Get a room."

"Well, why don't you butt out of other peoples business?", Ethan asked, pulling back and looking at Rachel.

"Why don't you take your own advise and quit trying to ruin my brother's marriage the both of you?", Rachel replied.

"I'm not, ruining Fox's marriage he is himself by lusting after women and him a married man.", Ethan replied.

"You, mean a whore, who has threw herself at him.", Rachel corrected.

"Since when do you care about Theresa, and since when are you a fan of Fox?", Ethan asked.

"I'm not, but, I think it's wrong to break up a marriage and depriving their children of a happy home with their mama and papa.", Rachel replied. "And, as for you.", she replied gesturing to Samantha, "Have you no decency? Have you no shame, parading around in front of both my brother's like you are some lost soul? Honey, I got news for you, yes you may get down Fox's pants as well as Ethan's, but you'll never compare to Theresa. She is everything you are not, she is the type of person men want as a wife, as where you are just a toy, a toy men use then either throw away or pass on to their friends. Face it honey you're just a good lay, nothing more."

"Rachel, you have no right.", Ethan replied.

"Oh, really, when did you come so holy? Ethan, you have no right to tell me what to do or how to act. Hell, I'm a saint compared to you and this trailer park trash who is out to snag a meal tickets, bedding rich guys.", Rachel replied, "Oh, I get it you know you can't have Fox, so you go to Ethan, yeah he isn't as rich, but, at least he can give you money, right?"

"Rachel Marie.", Julian exclaimed walking in. "Leave her alone, don't bring her into your and Ethan's fights."

Ethan motion for Sam to follow him.

"Oh, I wasn't, I was just telling her what I think of her and just where she stood with Fox as appose to Theresa.", Rachel replied. "And, before, you start your lectures as to why I shouldn't be so mean and nasty to the little gutter snout, let me tell you this, she deserves it, she is as terrible person."

"Rachel, why do you say that?", Julian asked.

"Because, she is parading herself in front of Fox and Ethan like sex on a stick.", Rachel replied.

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"Don't listen to Rachel, she doesn't know what she's talking about.", Ethan told her, walking in his room and setting on the bed, and motioned her to sit beside him.

"Yeah, she does, she's right.", Sam replied, pacing in front of him. "I'll never compare to Theresa, no man wants me as a wife, I'm nothing but, a toy a used a worn out toy."

Standing up in front of her, Ethan replied, "No, you're not, you beautiful and smart and well you make me a better person. Yeah, I haven't knew you all that long, but, I know this much you are truly amazing."

"Ethan. You don't have to lie to me…" Sam began. "I'm not, amazing, I'm a horrible person. I'm nothing. But a conniving bitch whose soul purpose in life is to cause everyone pain."

"Pain?", Ethan asked. "You haven't caused any one pain."

"Oh, really?', Sam asked. "My mom died because of me, because I was born."

"Because, you were born?", Ethan asked.

"I'm not, really my father's child, mom had me with a man a man she sleep with only once.", Sam replied. "My father killed her, because he figured out the truth."

"That isn't you're fault Samantha, you couldn't help, because your mother cheat on your father.", Ethan replied.

"Well, if a baby wasn't created then, there would have been no proof." Sam replied.

"You, can't think like that, you aren't the reason your mom died, and you're not responsible for all the other bad things that happened to your family.", Ethan replied.

"Really, if I'd died the day I was born…", Sam began.

"You wouldn't be here, you wouldn't have gave me joy in my life again.", Ethan replied. "Sam, when I'm with you I forget, I forget all the pain, I forget all the heartache I've caused my family."

"Well, if you think I cause you happiness you are truly are messed up.", Sam replied.

"Maybe, but, Sam, the bottom line is, I'm glad you're alive, I'm glad you were conceived that night. I'm glad you're mother cheated.", Ethan replied, taking her hand an lift her face so her eyes meet his. "Because, well if she hadn't you wouldn't be here and I'd be stuck with some other un-grateful twit who thinks the world is a cold and empty place."

Sam smiled at him. "Thank you." 'He's just telling you that, Sam, he's just trying to be nice.'

"You're welcome.", Ethan replied. "And, yes, before you ask, I meant ever single word." 'You, are everything, everything I ever wanted.'

Sam looked at him just smiling, 'Ethan isn't a bad guy yeah he messed up his life once, but he'd change he was a different person. Samantha, no you can't do this you can't take a likening him, it's against everything, and your morals, your life style, the plan, the plan, why does my life evolve around Alistair Crane's stupid horrible plan?'

"Samantha?', Ethan asked, causing her to stir from her thoughts.

"Huh ?", Sam asked, turning to him.

"I said, can I kiss you?', Ethan asked, with a boyish grin. 'She thinks I'm crazy, hell maybe I am?'

"Kiss me?", Sam asked. 'What the hell?'

Ethan nodded, "Yeah, Can, I kiss you?", his voice quavered, but yet he some how keeps his cool.

"Do you even have to ask?", Sam replied, catching his lips with her own. 'To hell with the plan, for tonight anyways.' Sam pushed Ethan down on the bed, straddling him and began to un do his pants.

"Don't start things you can't finish little girl.", Ethan told her, taking his lips of her just a long enough to say.

Sam just smirked at him.

Spoilers For Chapter 19:

Sam wakes up in Ethan's bed, does she regret her actions, does he regret his?

Theresa and Rachel talk, Rachel warns Theresa, about what?

Fox and Kathelina talk, about what?

Samantha goes and sees Alistair, about what?