A/N: We hit the 50 review mark! I'm so excited! (Can I use anymore exclamation points?) And I say "we" because I couldn't have done it without you guys (unless I was a real loser who reviewed my own work 50 times)! Thank you soooooo much! Individual shout-outs are at the bottom. I'd also like to add a little note . . .for all the Riku-obsessed out there (like me) visit this website http/rikuonline. w2r. net

Disclaimer:

A28: I've got quite a crew here. I own Amaya, this creepy guy who lives under a rock . . . .

Dark Summon: In a stone. I live in the stone, not under it!

A28: Yeah, whatever. In any case I don't own the oh-so-important and incredibly hot Riku, Leon, or Cloud, or anything else from Kingdom Hearts. I think I'll go cry now.

DS & Amaya: Oh, you have us, honey!

A28: (Bursts into tears)

"Hey."

She looked over and smiled, "Hey,"

Okay . . .now what?Aerith and I had talked. She tries to act all sweet, but when she really wants something out of you, she'll keep bothering you about it until you tell her. It's annoying, but it does help. Not like I'd ever tell her that. Judging by that smug smile of hers, she already knows, though.

When she'd dragged all of it out of me; what had happened in the cavern, and all the guilt, she just pulled me into a big hug, the way she'd always done with all of us when we were upset. It made me feel like a child, being comforted by my mother, but for once I didn't care.

"You couldn't have saved them, Leon. None of us could. When are you going to let it go? That's all you have to do, sweetheart. Don't let it hurt you anymore."

We sat there for a while, on my bed, her just holding my head to her shoulder, and murmuring words to me, some that made sense and some that didn't. It didn't matter. It took some time before I took another breath and told her the rest of it.

"There's another thing, Aerith."

"What is it, honey?" Her words blowing through my hair as much as into my ear.

"There's a girl. She works in First District. And she looks so much like her . . ."

"But she's not, Leon."

I nodded. No, she couldn't be. Stupid of me to even think of that.

I almost felt Aerith's frustration, "I didn't say not to go for it, lunkhead. I just said that she's not Rinoa. Rinoa's gone. That doesn't mean that this other girl isn't nice, or isn't good for you." She shook her head a little; I think she knows my protests before I even say them. I can see why Cloud loves her. "You were only with Rinoa for how long? A few months, maybe? You were both teenagers, Leon. It's unlikely that you would have been together much longer, anyway. It just feels like she was the one because you didn't really get a chance to find out. Just don't expect this other girl to be Rinoa. That wouldn't be fair to her."

We sat there in the quiet for a few moments while I let all of what she said sink in. She patted me on the head, "Let's face it, Leon, you could use a date."

I hate it when she pats me on the head like that. It messes up my hair. And I have the sneaking suspicion that she knows it, too. But she had a point, and that's why I'm back at the Sunglass Hut for the second time in one day.

Oh. That girl's looking at me. She's probably expecting me to follow "Hey" with some sort of coherent remark. Damn.

"So . . .those sunglasses. They're really good at . . .blocking the sun."

She giggled, "Well, that's good, seeing as that's what they're supposed to do."

I just sort of shrugged. Okay, I'm embarrassed. She doesn't need to know it, " . . .Whatever."

She shrugged back. We both stood in the silence for a while. She started straightening the displays. I wished I could fiddle with them, too. But she didn't need to know I was nervous.

And why the hell shouldn't I be? I've only been out of the romantic . . .thing . . .for close to a decade!

. . .God, that makes me sound so old.

"Hey, Mr. Leon."

"Leon."

"Huh?" She looked confused.

"Just Leon," I said, "I'm not some old man, or anything."

"Oh! Of course not. It's just that, well . . ." she shuffled her feet, "Everyone kind of looks up to you around here. I mean, I remember that night I first ended up here, when you took the time to get me set up at the hotel. You even got me this job, so I could get my own place."

I had gotten her this job? I didn't remember that . . .

She wrinkled her nose, "You don't remember me, do you?"

Uh-oh. Caught. Maybe I should try the enigmatic silence again. She shook her head, "It's okay. I know you help a lot of people. I probably didn't stand out at all."

I know she wants me to correct her, but what am I supposed to say? I don't remember. She rolls her eyes, "You really know how to win a girl over, Leon."

What the . . .? Is she making fun of me? Then she laughed out loud. "You should see how indignant you look! Fine, you don't want to be taken for an old man? Let's go out someplace, and you can prove you're not."

Did she just . . .?

"How's tomorrow night sound? At seven . . .or eight?"

I just stood there for a second. Would it really be okay to . . .oh, what the hell. It's not like I'm gonna marry her or anything. It's just a date. You don't want to be taken for an old man? Prove you're not.

"Sure. I'll pick you up at seven."

She grinned, "Great."

She'd been lying still for a while. After her first outburst in Merlin's house, she'd gone quiet. That was good. I mean, not that I liked seeing her unconscious or anything, that was bad, but watching her scream and cry and look at me without really seeing anything . . .I shivered. That was pretty high up on the list of "Scary Things Riku Has Seen In His Young Life". Although seeing her lying here, this still, this quiet, was making its own appearance on the list. It was too much like when I'd seen Kairi this way, when she'd lost her heart.

But, at least then, I knew what was happening to her. I had no clue what was happening to Amaya. No one did. Everyone had come in to check in on her. I think Yuffie was disappointed that I was in here; she couldn't look through Amaya's pockets for loose change. I laughed a little. The sound startled me, after being in this quiet room for . . .how many hours? I hadn't really been keeping track.

The sheets rustled on the other side of the room, "Riku?"

"Yeah, Kairi?"

"You're still awake?"

"Yeah."

" . . .It's two in the morning."

"Really?" I looked over her sleep-rumpled head to the alarm clock, "Hm. It didn't feel that late."

"Shouldn't you get somebody else to . . .I dunno . . .take a shift or something?"

"I'm fine."

"Liar," she said without any malice, "You're tired." She wrapped herself in her bedspread and walked over to my chair like a multi-colored, walking, Kairi-burrito. "I'll watch her. You go to bed."

"But—"

She put up one hand, palm facing me, "I hereby solemnly swear to inform you if there is the slightest change. Happy?"

Not really. But my eyes were drooping, and I wouldn't be any use to her asleep. What if she took a turn for the worse while I slept? It wouldn't matter whether I was asleep in a chair next to her, or asleep one room over, I would be equally unhelpful. "Are you sure? You're awake enough?"

"Awake enough to let you snag a couple hours. If I need to, I can go wake up Sora or Cloud or Leon or . . .well the other two are kind of out of the question, seeing as Yuffie would rob us blind in our sleep, and I really don't want to wake Aerith . . .but I have those three."

"And you'll wake me if anything happens?"

"Yes."

"Anything. You promise?"

"Yes, I promise you worry-wart. Go. To. Bed."

I finally got up and the Kairi-burrito sat in my chair, settling herself in for the long watch. The dim light from the hallway illuminated Sora curled up in one of the beds. At least, I think it was Sora; all but the top of his head was hidden under the blankets. He never had gotten used to the fact that most places were, in fact, colder than Destiny Islands.

I shut the door behind me, then reopened it as an afterthought, so that I could hear if anything happened. I peeled off my shirt—after how sticky it had been that afternoon, the verb was appropriate. I probably stank, but didn't really feel like finding my way to the shower and using someone else's shampoo at two in the morning. I'd shower later.

Like after the sun was up. I didn't even feel like fumbling with the dresser to find one of those pairs of sweatpants Aerith said she'd picked up earlier that day; I'd sleep in my boxers. Not like anyone was gonna care. So I chucked off my pants and crawled between the cool sheets. I don't even remember setting my head to the pillow.

Selfish, selfish . . .you're all selfish.

"Who are you?"

He could see himself. Standing in that same cave back home, with that door that went nowhere. There was no doorknob on the door, no hinges, just a door stuck in the middle of a rock wall. But, somehow, he had managed to come through it.

"I could show you other worlds, if you like."

I gave him a suspicious look—why hadn't I been more suspicious?—and asked, "Why? What's in it for you?"

He chuckled, "Straight to the chase, hm? Well, I've been working on a little . . .project . . .for some time now. There are seven girls that are vitally, crucially, important to this project. Unfortunately, they have been scattered to many worlds, and the only way to find them is to visit all the worlds, one by one, until I find them." Why hadn't I asked what he was using the girls for? I had just thought I'd leave it alone—it was this weirdo's business, not mine. "I will open this world for you, if you will help me find them."

I shifted a little uncomfortably, "What do I have to do?"

I remembered what he'd explained to me, about opening the door and letting the darkness in. There was a lot he told me. It seemed impossible, even to me, that I could have been so callous, that I took the chance of losing everything. Because I wanted everything. I wanted it so bad, it felt like this place was so small, the sky was so low, that it was crushing me. I couldn't breathe. I would have gone with Ansem if he had just been offering me air. And he offered to teach me to fly.

I was ashamed of that little part of me. That part that can just shut everyone, everyone I ever knew, out of my world if they get in the way of what I want. But even through the shame, shame so bad I wanted to cry, I could hear a little voice saying, But if you'd played your cards right, if you'd just been a little smarter, it could have been worth it. Would I take the chance again? Yes. Even knowing . . .? Always. Always take the chance.

Always take the chance, as long as you're not betting yourself.

But I was betting myself.

It's always just a fun game, just a fun little mind game, until you get hurt. You don't stop the game when other people get hurt.

What could I say? He was right. I do play games. But it's not the power, though it's fairly easy to get drunk on that, it's the adrenaline rush of playing. Of constantly having that risk of being found out, that risk of being caught, and then the jubilance of pulling it off.

But I didn't pull it off . . .

Images spiraled. Off-center pictures and broken reflections spun, showing me all the times that things had not gone according to plan. I felt sick. Sick because of all the things I'd done, and because that voice was still going in the back of my head, telling me that things could have so easily been different if I'd just played my cards a little better . . .

You can't stop, can you? That voice sounded disgusted. Even now you can't stop. Why can't you ever stop?

I saw a man, dressed like a king. His face was red with a light that came from below him, and sparks kept landing in his dark hair. He looked like a god. A mad god, worshipping his own destruction.

I saw a man, dressed like a king. His amber eyes sliced right through me, his white hair shocking against his bronzed skin. He didn't quite smile, but he didn't quite frown, either. But he looked vaguely amused as he studied me, at what I couldn't tell.

I saw a teenaged boy. Pale skin that I knew never tanned, no matter how much time he spent in the sun. White hair looked shocking on Ansem, but they didn't look shocking on this boy. It was the eyes that always stood out—a bright blue that everyone exclaimed they'd never seen before. They looked crazed here, as he brought a blade back, intending to strike someone I couldn't see, just in front of him. Someone I was about to strike . . .

I saw a little girl, crying. Brushing tears and brown hair out of her eyes as she looked out a stone window at the dead land around her.

You never stop.

I gasped myself awake. I sat up and held my head in my hands.

"Hey, you're awake!" Kairi half-whispered, rubbing my back in circles, "Do you need anything? Water, or anything?"

I nodded, and she shuffled her way toward the kitchen. "Thanks," I muttered as she put the full glass in my hand.

"I need to go get someone and let them know you're awake. Will you be okay for a minute?"

"Hm?" I looked at her for a few seconds, not quite comprehending what she'd said. Then I got it, "Oh. Yeah, I'm fine."

She gave me a long look, "Oookay, I'll be right back, then." She shuffled off again, still wearing her bedspread wrapped around her.

I drank half the glass and set it back on the nightstand. I dropped my head back into my hands and rubbed my hands through my hair. What was all that? This thing, I stared at the necklace I was still wearing, Is going to drive me crazy.

I shivered, remembering the look on the king's face as he fell into the fire. He wasn't afraid; he was rapturous. And all those other memories . . .some were about me—they couldn't actually be mine, because if they were mine, I wouldn't be able to see myself—some were about my father. Some looked like they must have been about . . .Riku . . .but how could that have been? Unless Ansem and Riku had both held this stone at one point . . .but Riku didn't even seem to recognize it, and I hadn't had it before I got to Traverse Town . . .had I?

I looked at the stone in horror. I can't remember when I got this . . .I tore it off my neck and flung it onto the nightstand. I held my knees against my chest and buried my face against them.

Someone walked into the room, "Amaya?"

I looked up and got the shock of my young life.

Riku was there. In my doorway. Wearing only his boxers. Oh. My. God.

Before I could even think of something clever to say, like "hi", he sat himself down in the chair that Kairi had just vacated, "Figures you wake up about an hour after I finally go to bed," he laughed. He'd taken my hand and started rubbing circles on it with his thumb, "You okay?"

"Um, hmm, uh, yeah, okay. I'm okay." Suuuure I am.

He didn't seem to notice my inability to spit out a coherent sentence; he must have been tired, "We were all pretty worried about you, there."

" . . .How long was I out?" Very good. Sentences. Thumb . . .on hand . . .wearing only boxers . . .no! Conversation! Must . . .not . . .act . . .like . . .horny . . .teenaged boy . . .

"Since this afternoon. Do you . . .remember anything?"

I looked up at his face, "Did I say something in my sleep or something?"

"You could say that. You kind of . . .well . . .you kind of freaked out at Merlin's house."

I immediately looked away. I freaked out? Oh my God, he thinks I'm some sort of psychopath or something. "Is Merlin around?"

"He went home, but Kairi was gonna go wake Leon to go get him."

"Oh." I took my time following the designs on the multi-colored Bed-In-A-Bag sets that Aerith and Kairi had decided on. They were pretty.

"Hey," he jostled my hand a little, "No goin' quiet on me. Whatever happened . . .we just want to get to the bottom of it and make sure you're okay."

I thought of the necklace sitting over on the nightstand. As if he could read my thoughts, he looked and saw my necklace haphazardly strewn across it. He took my chin in his free hand, "Is the necklace what caused it, you think?"

I tried to imagine bluffing my way out, no that's absolutely ridiculous, how in heaven could a rock do anything to you (unless someone dropped it on your cranium, of course), it must be something else. But the way he asked, and the way he looked, he wouldn't think I was crazy. And I really needed someone to not think I was crazy.

"You think it might be?"

"It was glowing really weird just before you . . .um . . ."

"Freaked out?" I choked around the uncomfortable lump forming in my throat.

"Hey, hey," he said, letting go of my hand and chin to start wiping off the tears that had started rolling down my face, "Don't cry! Don't cry . . .listen, I didn't mean 'freak out', it's just that I was kind of scared, a little, that you weren't okay." I started crying harder, "But you are okay! You're gonna be okay," he pulled me into a hug, "You're gonna be okay."

I think I felt him kiss my forehead, but I wasn't sure.

Review Responses

Jen: Sorry for the confusion! No, I didn't completely change the story, Amaya just went off to La La Land for a while.

Riku of Darkness: Wow! I'm so glad! Especially because this was version two. Version one (which I completely loved) got lost when my hard drive melted (stupid HP people left the plastic cover on it when they installed it, believe it or not), and I tried really hard to recreate it. I can't help but feel as though I felt short anyway . . .

Eyes: Sorry, there was no Riku in Chapter 12, but I shall not leave him out of a chapter so carelessly again! Pinky promise!

Black Sheep: Welcome to a new reader! So glad you liked this! And I'm glad you liked Kairi . . .I really found her quite annoying in the game, and I think that's because the creators didn't spend enough time on her character, so I've been trying to make her a little more likeable.

BlackPaintedWhite: Welcome to my KH ficcy! Wow. I hope I can continue to live up to your expectations. I'll try my best!

Dezina: Yay, another new reader! Thank you so much for the review! I'll continue as I can.