It all happened so suddenly.
We were driving when it happened. The sheer force of the runaway semi slamming into the driver's side was enough to knock the wind out if me. Though, I could only worry about Bella.
Without thinking I grabbed her still form from the driver's seat and carried her outside, into the cold night air, and laid her down in the grass. She looked so peaceful, but I knew she had to be in pain.
Though I was unaffected, Bella was far from okay. The bleeding head injury is most likely what knocked her out. I could smell her blood flowing freely within her…internal injuries.
I knew it was time, there was no doubt about that.
My mind clouded over, I could feel my eyes darken – it was so powerful – and I was hyper-aware of the crimson liquid pouring from her body. Yes, it was time. I couldn't stop myself now. With silent, ghostly movements, I laid myself over the length of her body; I could feel 17 different broken bones. I lowered my head slowly, the rational part of me was still unsure of what I no longer had control over.
Suddenly Bella started to squirm beneath me. In a blindingly fast movement, I grabbed her wrists and held them above her head while I used the weight of my body to hold her steady. I didn't want her to injure herself further.
"Edward?" Coherency was not present in her voice.
"Bella." My voice was strained due to the fog still present in my mind.
"Edward, I, it…it hurts." Her voice was barely a whimper.
"I know it does, Bella." I struggled to bring emotion into my voice.
"I'm going to die, aren't I?" She seemed to be less confused, and more solemn.
I didn't answer.
She stared up into my eyes, then. Instantly the severity of the situation hit her. For all she saw in my black eyes was thirst. She stared back at me, wide eyed with fear, then relief. She knew I was going to change her, that I had to change her.
"Edward?" She asked cautiously. I only answered by tensing my jaw and not breaking eye contact. She breathed a sigh of realization, "Oh, Edward. I'm sorry." Heaven only knows why she was apologizing. Perhaps it was because she knew that this was hell for me. Knowing that I had to kill her, and wanting to enjoy it at the same time.
I leaned down and brushed my nose along her collarbone, stopping at the side of her throat to kiss it tenderly. I could feel the blood rushing through broken veins and knew I didn't have much time, but I wanted to prolong this moment for as long as I could. I knew the monster side of me had taken over. I gave up trying to resist it long ago. I only resumed torturing her by kissing her neck and making her shiver.
"Edward, if you wait any longer I'm just going to die." She said as plainly as she could. I didn't stop causing the painful shivering. "And that would take me to a place where you can't follow me."
That struck a nerve. There was no time between the end of the kissing and the point where I let the monster inside of me have what it's desired since the day I met her. If I hadn't been on top of her, she most likely would have jumped out of her skin at the feeling of ice cold teeth breaking her skin.
I nearly couldn't stop myself. The taste of her blood in my mouth exhilarated me. The movement under me was what brought me out of my haze. She was writhing in agony. Instantly the fog cleared and I forced myself away from her, ashamed of what I had done. I watched her hands frantically search for something to grab, anything to make the pain stop. I slowly knelt down beside her and slipped my hand between her fingers and felt her grasp it harder than I could have imagined. With a final squeeze, she passed out.
I realized that she was still bleeding. I gathered her limp body into my arms and ran home to find Carlisle. As I was running, I looked down at the angel in my arms.
"Couldn't there have been some other way?" I asked to no one in particular.
I could only hope that she would forgive me in time.