Disclaimer: I don't really have anything to say soo…yeeeeeah….pause…pause….i don't own anything. So here is the story
"Ah, good evening Monsieur Duke! How are you?" A small dumpy, balding man asked. "Where would you like to sit tonight?" The man asked.
"Top floor, window view would be nice." The Duke said.
"Time out! Hold the mother flipping phone! That's not going to work." Monica said raising her hand.
"Something wrong Miss Monica?" The Duke asked. He placed his hand on Monicas shoulder.
"Umm, Monica has a little problem with heights." Rachel said lowly into the Dukes ear. She then paused and took a breath.
RACHEL THINKING: Good God he smells good.
"Oh well then." The waiter said. "How does a nice intimate booth sound?"
"Intimate." Rachel said smiling flirtatiously at The Duke. They both shared a small giggle with one another.
"Uncomfortable." Monica said under her breath.
The Duke then looked at an uncomfortable Monica. "Would you excuse me for one moment?" the Duke asked. "I must make a call."
"Sure." Rachel said. The Duke then gently grabbed Rachel's hand, kissed it lightly, turned to Monica, bowed and left.
"May I show you ladies to you table?" The waiter asked with a warm smile.
"Sure…I mean yes you may." Rachel said remembering where they were. It was starting to get kind of frustrating. All she wanted to do was say something like hey man! Or Dude, but she couldn't at least not with everyone thinking that she was 'uncultured' or a 'freak'.
When they entered the actual dining room, Rachel and Monica were shocked by how fancy the restaurant was. Thank God they decided to wear out one of the may dresses the Duke bought them at the clothing store.
"May I start you two young ladies off with a beverage of some sort?" The waiter asked as he helped them to their seat.
"I'll have a…..Coke…I mean a Sprite….I mean Dr. Pepper….water…water will be fine." Rachel said almost exhausted from all of these impossible selections.
"Yes. And you ma'am?" The waiter turned his attention the Monica.
"I shall have the Sèduisant Champaign." Monica said looking at her menu. Rachel looked at her SIXTEEN YEAR OLD friend as if she had just shot someone. She waited for the waiter to leave.
"What the hell are you doing?" Rachel asked.
"Ordering a drink." Monica said while exhaling.
"Awwww I'm telling the Duke." Rachel teased.
Monica shrugged and said while chuckling. "Well you know what they say, 'when in Rome… drink as much as you can without getting trouble'"
"That is not the way the saying goes." Rachel said while folding her arms.
"Well…." Monica paused confused. "They should."
Rachel had a somewhat disappointed look in her eye.
"I mean it's not like they're gonna card me." Monica said trying to reason.
Rachel just glared at her friend.
"Alright. Tell you what…I'll drink one glass….slowly."
Rachel sighed and nodded her head.
"Sorry about that ladies." I had to take are of something for a friend." The Duke said as he had down.
RACHEL THINKING: Well……that was pretty damn specific.
MONICA THINKING: That doesn't sound good.
"Do I know this friend?" Rachel asked flirtatiously scooting closer to the Duke.
He was about to say something but….
"Your water and Champaign misses, and may I get anything for you Monsieur Duke.
"I'll have the White Wine." The Duke said with a small smile. Even though they were indoors, he still had his sunglasses on. Rachel didn't know if he had sensitive eyes or was just doing this for her enjoyment. Frankly, she didn't care. She was just happy that he was doing it.
"Are you ready to order as well?" He asked.
"Yes, I'll have the Tranche et Riz."
Monica was about to order but the Duke took the "liberty"
"This young lady will have the Conchon Mamelon et Toro Gros" The Duke was about to do the same for Rachel but Rachel raised her hand to the Dukes mouth and hushed him.
"I can do this. I shall have the Poisson et Grain" The Duke just smiled and starred at Rachel. He had never met anyone like her.
"What the hell did you get me?" Monica whispered aggressively. She had seen enough movies to know that when someone gets something in French and tastes delicious, it is probably something that should have never been cooked in the first place.
The Duke looked at Rachel and then back at Monica. "Don't you trust me?" He then asked with a smile.
"Of course." Rachel said batting her eyes at the Duke.
"No." Monica said not blinking at all.
"Oh come on Monica, I highly doubt that the Duke here is out to get you." Rachel said with a sigh. She didn't take her eyes off of the Duke who was now looking at Monica and chuckling. He knew that Monica was really afraid of what he ordered for her. Moncia didn't know if the Duke was a straight laced guys as he had always been or had a dark joking side.
"What did you order….I want to know…I NEED to know." Monica said gripping the edges of the table.
"Just drop it Monica. Look, you can
"So, who was it that you had to call." Monica said trying her best to change the subject.
The Duke, again, just smiled and took a sip of his beverage.
"I said, who did you call." Monica said and this time it was more stern. She was starting to get tired of The Dukes little secrets. First with the food and now with the caller.
"A friend." The Duke said simply.
'Oh my freaking God." Monica said under her breathe.
The Duke paused and looked at Monica. He was torturing her. He felt that it was only right that he tell her who he was talking to.
"Well," He began. "I noticed that when you saw Rachel and myself were getting, I thought it was only right that you have…company."
Monica looked confused but Rachel got it right away.
Monica leaned forward in thought. "So who did you call…..OH GOD you did call your ugly deformed cousin twice removed on your mothers side to come a date me did you?" Monica said envisioning this horrible looking man with one eye and a hunched back.
"Actually I--"
"Right this way sir." The same waiter said. Monica turned her head to see CHRISTIAN walking towards them. She ducked down before he could see her there.
Monica glared at The Duke. "You! Come with me now!" Monica said rising but still staying low to the ground so Christian could not see them.
"Hey where are you taking my date." Rachel asked shocked.
"The Duke and I need to talk for a minute, stall Christian." Monica said.
"How?"
"I don't know….tell him about the time you and I were in Guys and Dolls…on joke night." Monica said.
"Gotcha!" Rachel said giving Monica the thumbs up.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Monica said ash she pushed the Duke against a wall.
"I…uh…take it you didn't want me to call him." The Duke said with a small smile.
Monica gave a soft slap across The Dukes face. "This is not a time to be a smart ass. What the hell am I going to do?"
"Just sit a talk to him." The Duke said simply.
"It's not that simple. There are many things that one has to consider when talking to a person that you like." Monica said.
"Like what for instance?" The Duke asked crossing his arms intrigued.
"Like….uh…err…and then there's…with…alright I cant think of anything off the top of my head… but I assure you there are things." Monica finally said.
"Well, I do apologize; I surely did not mean to upset you. I just thought that it was what you wanted." The Duke said with a now, almost embarrassed, look on his face.
Monica just looked at him with a small smile. She was happy that the Duke had taken the initiative to try and do the right thing (even if that right thing might not have been the right thing). Monica let out a great sigh and patted the Duke on the shoulder. "Alright. There's no going back now."
"There's the spirit Miss Monica." The Duke said with a nod.
MEANWHILE BACK AT THE TABLE:
Right when Monica and the Duke came back to the table, they heard Rachel say "And so Ahmed says 'it's not a Bach, it's a doll'" They then heard this loud cackle of laughter.
Christian couldn't help but laugh at how hard Rachel was laughing (even though he did not get the juke at all).
Moncia then saw the waiter they had ordered form walk by them. While the Duke was not looking she pulled the waiter aside and said. "Excuse me sir? Hi. Do you remember me?"
"Why yes madame."
"Good. Now do you know what that man over there," Moncia pointed to the Duke "Ordered for me?"
"Why yes madame."
There was a slight pause.
"Well…what?"
"Monsieur Duke ordered the Conchon Mamelon et Toro Gros."
"Translation?" Monica said.
"Pig nipples and bull and bull ears."
Monica's face was emotionless. "I see, now here is what I want you to do. I want you to cancel that order and get me something else….something actually eatable."
"I don't understand Madame." The waiter said confused.
"Do you have any pasta?" Monica asked.
The waiter thought for a moment. "ah nouilles."
"Whatever." Monica said. "I want that with some melted cheese and tomato sauce covering it."
"fromage et tomate sauce." The waiter smiled and nodded.
"Excuse me miss." A voice said from behind. It nearly scared the sense out of Monica (not that she had any to begin with).
"Would you please walk your ass back to the table." Rachel said with a 'I'm going to kill you if you don't' smile stretched across her face. "Oh and there si one teeny tiney thing that I think that you should know."
"What?" Moncia asked with an almost petrefied look on her face.
"Uh. Christian doesn't know that you're here. The Duke told him on the phone that we were having an actors cast diner thing-a-ma-bober and…well…the Duke kind of left out the fact that you were here."
"What?" Monica said in a calm voice. Although her tone was calm her face was in a twisted and distorted frown.
"Yeah." Rachel simply said.
"Well how the hell am I going to sit back down?" Moncia asked.
"Don't worry I'll take care of it."
Monica watched as Rachel strolled back to the table and sat right bect to the Duke. They were all sitting in a way that Monica would HAVE to sit next to Christian.
MONICA THINKING: Thanks a lot guys.
"Oh well Monica will be right out." Rachel said softly to the Duke but ,purposely, loud enough dor Christian to hear.
His entire body tensed. "You didn't tell me she was here." Christian said.
"Oh well must have slipped my mind." The Duke said in a almost evil chuckle.
Monica, who was too far away to hear their conversation but saw Christian rise out of his seat and begin to exit.
"Oh God this is terrible." Monica said to herself.
Christian was about to leave but Rachel stopped him. "Wait where are you going?"
"I have to leave." Christian said. "I just remembered I haven't finished writing the final act of the new Spectacular, Spectacular.
"Oh this is really bad." Monica said again to herself. "He obviously doesn't want to see me." With that being said Monica made her move. She made a mad, but still lady like dash to the door.
Then suddenly Christian broke free from Rachel's death like grip and this sent him stumbling across the room knocking over none other that…."Miss Monica!"