1. Hailey often says things as a figure of speech, or just to be funny. She didn't really eat Ash, she's just insane. She wasn't really going to kill herself, she was just making a comment about being miserable.
2. I'm going to assume that the way things are in the comics can stay in my story. Its never explained why Johnny never gets caught killing people. The same spooky forces are at work here, which is why Hailey wasn't discovered stabbing the homeless guy, or why no one cares anymore that's shes missing.
3. All that money she spends...well, partly it's the cash Johnny steals off his victims and hides, and partly, she steals everything. And, because the Curse of Johnny Cee has rubbed off on her...shes never caught.
I think that's it. Um...thank you to all who enjoy the story, I write it as the inspiration hits me, and half the time, it's a true account of what I did during the day, I just add Johnny for the helluvit.
Monday ( 3:00 am) it's the Witchin' Hour. So I turned up the latest KoRn CD and bounced on the couch for an hour. I decided that "Coming Undone" is Johnny's theme song. And also "Love Song". I can imagine him doing the bit in the middle where Jon Davis sings by his lonesome all dramatically...to his victims.
No neighbors ever complain about the noise. I wonder if they somehow understand that if they were to show up at this house at 3 am and complain that the music is too loud, Johnny would drag them inside and do horrible things to them. Horrible, violent things that made them wish they were dead faster. Oh like that doctor in Feardotcom. Have I mentioned the relevance of that movie in my life yet? Because I'm like the evil nurse that shoots everyone up with poison and laughs as they convulse.
I'm feeling morbid today. I don't shoot people up with poison.
Johnny smells like weed today. It replaces his usual faint perfume smell. Which I hate by the way. I'm beginning to sniff random perfume bottles around the mall to see if I can figure out with one it is. I dunno if its different everyday and I don't notice the subtle differences or if he has some chika to mess with when I'm not around. Maybe he's a necro. Oh god. The images come. They burn.
I live my life on an infinite supply of Mountain Dew Code Red. And junk food. I gained a lot of weight. I don't fit into the pants I used to anymore. On the brighter side, my cup size is now an official C. I think I'll stay at 125.
Um...Christ, you'd think my life was a shallow piece of shit.
Nodisknodisknodisknodisknodisksomeoneneedstotturnoffthedvdplayernodisknodisknodisknodisknodisknodisknodisk
I'm feeling weak...missing parts...incomplete...don't let them throw me away...keep me and I'll be okay...skipping a beat but it plays...don't let them throw me away...
I have all these words in my head and such an inability to write them out. Its like a road block blocking a huge dam and if only I knew how to crush it id be flooded with these emotions and images and all this crazy shit that would fill up this page and all them remaining pages in this stolen notebook with paragraphs and verses and proseseses of what that girl in Mean Girls called word vomit which is exactly what this is because I lack the ability to even punctuate my sentences because I don't have the time to stop my hand moving I need to do something with myself I cant live like this anymore because I think I love Johnny but I also hate him because he is the devil and he's turned me into this pathetic fucked up being just like himself and every time he does something nice its like I can forget all the bad things he's done to me except whenever he goes and does something horrible all I can think about is what a loser I was for liking him and my god I should just hang myself with my own guts from the rafters that he is too lazy to cover in my ceiling and then he'd come home and see my dead face staring down at him and my life would flash before my eyes and id remember what I was like before I met Johnny because my god I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING THAT WAS BEFORE JOHNNY I THINK I HAVE LOST MY MIND AND THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT o god help me I don't want to go to hell for this but I lost my train of thought three hours ago and I don't remember why I started this ranting anymore.
And I'm out of dew.
Tuesday (3:12 am) - I used to be Hailey but I havent gone by that name in a long time now. Johnny calls me BatGirl all the time. He says it affectionately too, the fucker.
I feel like a selfish bitch right now. Ignoring all the things I hear them scream and I don't do anything about it anymore. I used to cry with them but now I just sit and listen to them. I cant laugh like he does sometimes. I cant pretend I don't hear them. I should be helping them. I can do anything I want. I could go down there and save them, like a hero. I could release them from their chains and duct tape and boxes and lead them outside. Id tell them to go home, and they'd thank me. Johnny would change and turn into a good person. He'd fix up his house and we'd date. Id go grocery shopping with him. We'd buy junk food and them argue about it. On Halloween we'd dress up in matching vampire costumes and go to parties and dance, drinking the spiked punch and talking with our mutual friends and having a good time. We'd go to fairs in the Autumn and ride the rides and eat candy apples. He'd win me a stuffed toy. Id buy him cotton candy. He'd be asking me to call him "John" because it sounds so normal and nice.
I discovered today that Vivaldi songs make me cry.
Thursday (2:39 am) - Gross. My ear is doing something funny. The earring is kinda painful and its kind of...leaking. And then crusting. Its very very disgusting. I truly hope I am not getting an infection because that would suck.
I caught a cold. My throat killed me all day yesterday, and today, my asthma has been plaguing me.
Oh I caught Johnny doing something weird. He was watching TV and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Are you picking your teeth?" I asked him.
"Yes. I have popcorn caught in my gums. Its killing me."
It was such a stupid human action, picking popcorn out of his teeth, Mr. Spooky Grim Reaper, Mr. Tortures-people-to-death-in-his-basement...I laughed for a while. I havent had a good laugh in forever.
Sunday (1:00 pm) - Saw Devi again. She was with that black chick we met at the club...Tonja, something like that. They were eating at this outdoor café together and talking about something...I dunno. She was drawing something on a napkin though, and I waited for them to leave, and picked it up. It was a picture of a unicorn, but it was really good. Shes really good at animal proportions. I'm jealous.
Wednesday (5:12 pm) - Took a tour in the basement tunnels today. For lack of anything else to do, really. Found more shoeboxes of cash, some more clothes, some shoes, its like a freaking concentration camp down there. Peoples things piled up as though he had no idea what to do with them. I took is journal with me though, for reading material. I found one of my old rooms, the door still smashed, and sat down in a corner and read some more. He mentions me in the more recent entries. Nothing really fancy, just general stuff...
"...sits by herself reading or writing in her little book or else just disappearing for hours and when she comes back each time its like I only then remember that she exists now..."
Yeah, that's how I feel too.
Monday (4:39 pm) - One month ago, Johnny stalked into the kitchen where I was eating a sandwich and threw his die-ary at my head. It bounced off my eye and into the sink. I screamed and started cursing him out. Johnny then launched himself across the kitchen and pinned me to the table.
"I'll kill you," he was saying very slowly, through clenched teeth, "I'm going...to kill you."
I didn't know what was going on at first, but since he had thrown his journal at my head, I assumed he was angry that I had been reading it...I wondered how he found out. But I only wondered that for a second, because the next thing I knew, he had his hands around my throat and was strangling me, violently.
I had a friend once, a single flash of memory from my past life, who liked S and M type stuff. She had shown me bite marks on her arms and legs from her boyfriend, and had once even worn a scarf for a week because she had these unattractive ligature marks on her neck from a rope. I remember wondering how it might feel to have someone strangle me...she made it sound kinda of cool.
Its not cool. It hurts really bad. I was starting to seriously panic because I could honestly not pull in a breath. I though asthma was bad, but at least with asthma, it was never so bad that I couldn't get up and find my medication. But when someone is sitting on top of you on a cold hard linoleum floor, with their fingers around your neck, and your throat is burning and you cant breath...its really scary.
I gasped and tried to pry his fingers off but he was pretty resilient. He let go only after I got too weak to struggle.
"You're going to die now, Hailey," he said to me as I rolled on my stomach and tried to crawl away towards the living room. I remember all the injuries I had sustained over the last year. The only act of violence Johnny ever did towards me was kicking my ribs...but that time I sliced my hand open on a glass cup and he had to sew me up himself...even my most recent whack on the head from Ash. This time, I was fully convinced that he was going to finally slaughter me.
I didn't know exactly where I thought I was going. I simply wanted to put as much distance between me and him as I could manage. I didn't get very far because Johnny grabbed my sneakers and pulled me back into the kitchen.
"Don't leave yet," he told me dangerously, "you've been here so long, why on earth would you want to leave now?"
Pleading does not word with the devil. He dragged me into the bath room, where he stepped on my chest, harshly, and rummaged through the drawers under the sink. He pulled out a bag of cotton balls and a bottle of my lotion.
"Stop that," he said when I tried biting his ankle, "because I'll have to kick you and break all your teeth. I don't want to do that yet." He tucked the bag and bottle under one arm and pulled me back out into the living room.
"Brace yourself," he warned me, and thoughtlessly let me slide down his stairs into the basement. I landed painfully on my side. Johnny was walking down the steps very deliberately towards me.
I don't think at this point I shouldn't even mention that I was crying and pleading, right? that's assumed. I was very upset, to say the least.
I'm tired. I'll finish this story tomorrow.