Todays playlist includes "Karma Chameleon" by Boy George, and "No Sacrifice" by Elton John. Oh, and "Yatta" by the Greenleaves. Also, "Close to You", by the Carpenters.

Monday - Yatta yatta yatta yatta…

Spooky lead me outside in the sidewalk today outside of Johnny's house, and because it was a wonderfully warm morning, I sat on the sidewalk, eating one of those twin Popsicles where you get two for the packaging of one. It was grape, because Johnny hated grape and that was all that was left. I felt bad for that pop, being so hated by him.

That little kid next door wandered over after a few minutes in a white stained shirt and shorts, and those beat up converses that matched mine, except mine were scruffier and pink, to boot. They rocked.

Anyway, I said hi, and he just looked at me with HUGE eyes and said,

"You know Johnny?"

Almost knocked me off the sidewalk.

"Yeah. Do you?"

"He used to come by my house," said the little kid in a squeaky type of voice, "but I haven't seen him in my room in ages." He watched me stare at him shocked for 4 seconds, until the hot sun melted sticky artificial grape juice down my wrist.

"You've been keeping him busy?" he asked me strangely. "Did he…do that to you?" he pointed at my head. I rubbed a hand over my fuzz.

"Yeah. And, yes."

"Oh."

"My name is…Hailey. But, he calls me Batgirl."

"Oh. I'm Todd. But he calls me Squee."

We looked at each other for a little longer, then Todd turns and says "well see ya" over his shoulder. My ice pop meanwhile slid apart and fell onto the pavement, where Spooky ran over to lick at it.

Tuesday: Swept the living room. Scrubbed the floors. Arranged the crates and "furniture" in a fung-shui fashion. The room is now, more or less, livable. Which is a good thing for a LIVING room to be, eh?

Also, walked over the Nicey's for some food. They have good food. I think one day I'll get a job there, maybe. This one girl there, uber black and wicked friendly, kept trying to engage me in conversation. I think she was wicked disappointed when all I wanted to do was eat and leave.

I saw Devi today though, at the Goth café, typing up something on a laptop and sipping some coffee that was more sugar and cream than actual coffee. I didn't know what to say to her, but she must have recognized me from before, cuz she waved in my direction and smiled. Her hair is longer…but still blue.

Spooky is quite a small cat, I noticed earlier today. That must account for the extra energy. It ran in circles around the cleaned living room before getting tired and hiding under the couch…where we watched TV together. Johnny is gone. Dunno where he goes. I don't care though, silence is nice.

I also realized that I have no idea of Spooky's gender. I think, with a unisex name like that, it'll remain that way.

Ate the last grape ice pop. Grr.

Wednesday: Stab stab. Life is boring. I think Johnny crawled off and died somewhere.

Argh. My hair. I cried earlier because I realized my hair was gone…my beautiful platinum blond hair, snipped to shimmering golden pieces in front of my eyes! Lost in the grime and gore of his Basement of Death. Stamped under bloody boots. See, my eyes are watering AGAIN over the thought. I don't feel bad for calling him a loser anymore. He deserved it. My poor hair….

Sunday: Why do birds suddenly appear whenever you are near? Just like me, they long to be…close to you…why do stars fall down from the sky when you walk by? Just like me, they long to be…close to you…

Spooky got into a box of Christmas decorations and torture restraints. Its shitting tinsel. And its not even Christmas yet! Why the hell would a person keep a box of Christmas stuff lying around in the middle of the spring? I ask you…why?

I brushed my fizz in the bathroom mirror for an hour today, and you know, its not fuzz so much anymore…its very very very short, but in a few weeks I can bleach it out again and have my blond back.

Johnny's not back yet. I havent left the house in a few days. I watched Todd ride his bike up and down the block. Hes a cute kid. I wonder what he meant about Johnny visiting him. Im scared to think about it.

I almost murdered myself on a razor earlier today because they just kinda hang around randomly in this house. You cant open a drawer without poking/cutting yourself on something sharp.

Johnny, where art thou?

Saturday: Hiding from me, that bastard. I drew a picture on the living room wall in permanent marker. It's of a girl, sitting, drawing spirals and curlies around her, with happy faces and suns and stars all around. She had a kitty with her (actually Spooky, who sat still for me for 10 minutes, yeay kitty) with wings. In the spirals are lyrics to some songs I like that arent sad. I think I'll paint it.

Except … what was I thinking about just now? I lost my train of thought. Real badly. Um…I long to be…close to you…

Monday: Painted some real cool designs on my eyes with liquid eyeliner. You can use the stuff like a pen and your face like a piece of paper. Or, wall. I made swirlies. Not goth-y ones…but real cool ones. Too bad I have no place to go to show them off…and no one to go with anyway. Boo-hoo. Its hard to find things to do with your time.

My back is itchy. My god I wanna gnaw the skin off, but I cant reach my head around back there. Im rubbing myself up against walls and stuff. It hurts when I do it but the itch drives me mad otherwise. Rarg! Pain pain pain!

Oh, and Johnny has returned. Yesterday he comes through the door (kicking it in first) and goes downstairs where I assume he is now. I dunno what hes up to, but…Ima go see. I have a death wish, anyway.

Wednesday: The funniest thing I have ever witnessed in my life happened today. I downloaded "Karma Chameleon" on the computer and I was playing it when I saw Johnny slide into the room, mouthing the words. Yes, it was very bizarre. Because he knew all the words.

"I'm a man without conviction, I'm a man who doesn't know how to sell a contradiction, you come and go, you come and go…" It was fucking hilarious. He even had this horrible little happy dance to go along with it, and I may have busted a gut laughing at it.

Times like this, he seems like a normal guy, just really scrawny. And a bad dancer.

Friday: I told Johnny it was no sacrifice. Just a simple word. I told him it was two hearts living in two separates worlds. He looked at me like I had just grown a second head.

Spooky has found joy in the toilet. It hangs around the bathroom and just sits there on the seat staring at it as though its going to reveal the winning lottery tickets in the rust and calcium infested depths. And when I flush it, it goes crazy and tries to catch the water in its paws. I stopped using that bathroom and gave it up to the cat. Yeay Spooky.

Lit some candles because electricity is useless now that its warm as hell outside. I read my candle light. I dream I met the devil in an abandoned movie theater, it he looked like that guy who played the headless horseman in that Sleepy Hollow movie with Johnny Depp. I don't remember what we talked about, or if we even did but it was pretty cool.

My hair grows. No thanks to Mr. Crazy Scissors.