The open road always helped to ease my thoughts. My hands gripped the handlebars of my motorcycle tightly as I stared out from behind the goggles covering my eyes. I was dressed in my riding gear: black jeans, a matching tank top, and a vest. It was very biker looking but I looked good in it and it was comfortable for those long motorcycle voyages. The road was empty of any other vehicles besides my own and in a way I preferred it like that. I had grown accustomed to my need for solitude since I could be alone with my thoughts without having to worry about any other people prying.
I twisted the throttle to speed things up since I had a delivery to make. I couldn't keep working as a mercenary for hire anymore after everything we had all been through. I had seen enough violence in my twenty-one years. With the help of Tifa and a nice little donation from Reeve I had been able to start a new business. "Strife Delivery Service: You Name It, We Ship It." The tag line was Tifa's idea and it did fit. Right now there was a package in the mini-trunk of the cycle that had to be taken to Kalm.
--
After returning to my motorcycle after delivering the wrapped package to the lady it was addressed to I heard my cell phone play its little beep. Pulling it from my side I glanced at the screen and realized I had a missed call. Great, it must have come when I was riding and didn't hear it. Flipping up the screen I pressed a few buttons and then placed the phone next to my ear. As the female computer voice went through the standard nuances I glanced down to my watch. I had made pretty decent time.
"Hey, Cloud. It's Tifa. We got a few more orders, though it's nothing we can't put off until tomorrow. Look, before you head back to your place, do you want to have dinner with me? We really don't see each other that often anymore. Well, I'll see you when you come back to the bar. Be safe, Cloud."
I let out a heavy sigh as I flipped the phone shut and placed it back on my side. As I straddled the motorcycle and started it I had to stop to think about Tifa. She had been my friend since we were kids and though we had been drawn closer during the big adventure, I had distanced myself from her. It wasn't anything personal, I just didn't want to drag her into my problems. She had enough to worry about with running her bar and managing Strife Delivery Service without being involved with my personal problems. It wasn't like she could relate anyway; she hadn't been experimented on, betrayed her best friend, and lived a false life.
As the motorcycle peeled out Kalm and onto the open road I intentionally increased my speed to compensate for beating myself up again. There weren't any monsters roaming in the open anymore after Sephiroth was defeated so I found no reason to have my Buster Sword or Materia with me. Even if there WERE monsters, I would have bought a new weapon. The Buster Sword was another artifact I was trying to keep locked away, it wasn't even mine, it was his. I don't deserve to even look at it. Not after what I had done.
--
The motorcycle came to a stop outside of the medium sized building that was adorned with a large wooden sign that read "Tifa's Bar." Another generous donation from the new President of Shin-Ra, our good buddy Reeve, had let Tifa rebuild the place better than it was in the Sector 7 slums. I casually removed the goggles from my eyes and let them hang off one of the handlebars as I stood and stretched. Along the way I had thought about Tifa's offer and had decided that I would have dinner with her. I hadn't spent any significant time with her in awhile and the idea of driving back to Edge on an empty stomach wasn't exactly the most appealing thing.
As my boots plodded on the steps the door of the bar opened and she ran out, hugging my waist tightly. Marlene looked up at me and smiled widely. She wasn't shy around me anymore like she once was. She was living with Tifa now, what with Barret off handling some things in Corel and that meant she did see more of me when I came by to pick up packages to deliver. She squeezed my waist tightly and nestled her head against my stomach. I found myself lightly patting her head. She was wearing an off-white dress and her hair was pulled back with a simple red ribbon. She looked just like I remembered.
"Hi, Marlene. How are things for business?"
It was the only appropriate bit of small talk I could think of to say to a child. She looked up at me with a smile and just kept that same look. As she said it was fine she grabbed one of my gloved hands and pulled me into the bar. Night had already fallen and on Sundays Tifa always closed the bar down early so there were no patrons. As soon as I stepped in Tifa stepped out from behind the bar and rushed to me. Her outfit was different. She was wearing denim jeans and a black sweater that fit her well. It seemed miniskirts had fallen from her favor. She threw her arms around me like Marlene had and hugged me tightly. Before I enjoyed the embrace she gave but now it burnt me. Not a hot feeling, one of coldness. I winced but ignored the cold burning as I hugged her back. After a moment she stepped back and looked at me, smiling haphazardly.
"Will you stay for dinner? I made your favorite."
"Sure. How can I pass up a steak by the great Tifa?"
There was a smile on my face as I looked back to her but it was a lie. In the back of my mind I wanted to just fill out the day's paperwork and head back to my tiny little cottage in Edge but I had to stay. Besides, having her company would keep my thoughts away from Zack, Sephiroth, and Jenova. I could use a night away from those horrible thoughts and the nightmares that would follow.
As we stepped back from hugging each other I wandered over a side table I had always been fond of. Tifa followed behind me with two plates and sat them down on the table. As I looked down I saw a steak with a baked potato next to it and it was already cut open and filled with my favorite add-ins. Tifa did know me very well. Tifa left again to go fetch us a bottle of wine and it was then I saw Marlene heading up the stairs with a plate in her hands. I guess she was eating by herself tonight, Tifa must have told her we needed to be alone. It didn't really matter; the girl could have sat with us since I wasn't planning on opening up or saying anything she shouldn't hear.
"I found a good one, Cloud."
Tifa took the seat across from mine and sat a glass in front of me before working the cork off the bottle. It made a loud popping sound and then she poured each of us a glass. I hadn't touched my dinner yet so I grabbed the wineglass and took a large drink. The refined alcohol felt good as it washed down my throat. I normally drank hard liquor but wine went better with dinner so I didn't bother to complain. As I looked back up I noticed Tifa had already cut off a piece of her steak and was chewing it. She smiled at me and I showed her an insincere smile again in return. She was the first to break the silence.
"I got a postcard from Barret today. He and some of the men from the town started work in the coalmines in Corel and there's finally some money coming in again. He said that there's some kind of monument to Dyne he has planned. Are you ready for the biggest surprise?"
Her eyes were wide and lit up as a huge smile came to her face. I had grown to like Barret and the man was of good heart. This time the small grin that came to my face was real and I casually asked "What?" She clasped her hands together.
"The townspeople want to vote him in as the new Mayor since there's finally a chance for the city to prosper again! Can you believe it Cloud? Barret might actually become a Mayor!"
"That really is something. I wonder how long it will be before he smacks around his staff and causes havoc….."
"Cloud!"
I jumped and found myself staring at an angry Tifa. Her lips were pursed and she was staring at me through narrow eyes. I didn't mean to make her mad but I guess my remark about Barret had pressed some button. She had known the man longer than I had and she was looking after his daughter now, so I guess she had the right to be defensive of the AVALANCHE leader. Okay, that remark was uncalled for. In a way, I owed Barret. If I hadn't of taken the job to help him sabotage those Mako Reactors I wouldn't have gotten involved with Shin-Ra and found out the truth. The planet would have been struck by Meteor, Sephiroth would have become a god, and we'd all be dead right now.
"I'm sorry….it just slipped out…."
"I know you and Barret got off to a rough start, but I thought you two had mended your problems by now. You could at least be happy he is fixing up his hometown and is trying to make things right."
"I SAID I WAS SORRY!"
Tifa jumped at my sudden yell and instead of saying anything she just went back to eating. The rest of our meal was eaten in silence. I had planned to at least make idle chit chat about the bar, our business, and what everyone was up to, but that was ruined. Maybe she had wanted to see how my mental state was but that wouldn't happen now. As I finished the last bite of my steak I stood, taking my plate towards the bar. She watched me walk by and still said nothing. After dropping my plate in the sink I stepped back around into the main part of the building.
"Look…."
I spoke first. I may have ruined the moment but I had to at least part on something of amicable terms.
"Thanks for dinner, Tifa. It was good to see you and Marlene again. I really am happy for Barret. I know he's been fighting demons like all of us after what Shin-Ra did to Corel."
She rose from the table and walked over to meet me. She placed a hand on my chest and made a sound that was a cross between a chuckle and a cough. I looked down to see a tiny grin on her face.
"So, you are still open. I was afraid you'd go back to silent asshole Cloud. I'm glad you decided to stay and have dinner with me….If you want, you can crash here tonight. It is a bit of a long drive back to your cottage."
My blue eyes suddenly widened. I stepped back as though she had crossed some taboo line and the look on her face showed she was confused. What I said next, I never really meant it. My inner voice that made me block off things and shut my emotions down was in control and I channeled those negative thoughts through my mouth.
"I see what this is. You ask me to stay for dinner so you can get an after dinner lay? Is that what this was about, Tifa?"
She gasped and before she could retaliate I moved towards her, pointing an accusing finger as she moved backwards and I kept walking towards her.
"We grew up together in Nibelheim and we were good friends back then. I even kept that stupid little promise you made me make before I left for SOLDIER for you. Now you're going to repay me by trying to get me into bed?"
"NO! I invited you here because I wanted to spend time with you! I was going to say you could stay in the guest room upstairs but now you're accusing me of trying to seduce you! Cloud, we are friends! NOTHING but friends! How can you even say these things?"
There was no relenting in my anger as I keep walking forward. I don't mean any of the words I found myself saying but it's nothing but my repressed anger at no one but me that is escaping and hurting the one person who probably my last true friend.
"Bullshit! You think that some sex is going to make me forget about Zack and Aerith?"
It happened so fast that I had no time to prepare for it. A balled fist slammed into my nose and I flew backwards, slamming into a nearby table and knocking it over. As I lay on the floor nursing a bloody, possibly even broken, nose I caught sight of Tifa standing there with her arm still extended. She had a look of shock on her face and I could see tears rolling down her smooth cheeks.
"You always think this is about you, Cloud! My memories of the events at Nibelheim are a little blurry but I can still see Zack…and how dare you bring up Aerith like that! She was my friend too! I cried like the rest of you when she died! I wanted to kill Sephiroth just like everyone else after he took her from us! I knew you were torn between us but I didn't say anything…."
"Tifa…I…."
"Get out."
The words are delivered to me in a deadpan tone but it hurts more than any of the yelling. She's still crying but doing it freely now. She loved Aerith too and was just as saddened by her loss as any of us. I stood up and rubbed at my lower back that had smacked into the table. As I opened my mouth to speak she sucked back the sobs and ordered me out again.
"Please, Tifa I didn't…"
"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY BAR, CLOUD! LEAVE! JUST GO!"
She yanks the door open and stands next to it waiting for me to step outside. Just before stepping out I catch sight of something in my peripheral vision. Seated at the top of the stairs is Marlene. She watches us with a look of startled and hurt confusion. The sadness on her pretty face cuts right through the exterior of my protective inner shell and I find myself overcome with a desire to rush to her, to snatch her up and tell her everything is okay. She's Barret's daughter, not mine, but I care for her too. I had given her the nickname of AVALANCHE'S Mascot and had grown closer to her.
I stop halfway out the door and turn to walk back in. Tifa glares at me with a look that could burn a hole through any armor and I doubt that look will go away any time soon. I take a step back in and she slams the door towards me but I catch it with my hand and stop it from blocking me out. I look past her and to Marlene who has now left her roost to run back to her room.
"Let me talk to Marlene. She saw us fight."
"She's growing up, Cloud. She can handle more things now and besides, I'm going to talk to her about what happened. You need to go."
Her words were still delivered with an incredible cold tone. It was then that it hit me how bad I had seriously fucked things up. I tried to move forward again and suddenly guffawed as a stern kick hit my unprotected ribs. Tifa was lightning fast and knew just where to deliver her stiff "warning moves" as she called them. As I held my aching side she mouthed something very profane to me and slammed the door in my face. I heard the heavy lock click and knew I had been officially kicked out.
Still holding my sore side I walked down the steps and mounted my motorcycle. The goggles slipped on over my eyes and with one arched leg I kick started the bike and sped off. It was also now cold as hell outside and I had no jacket. Wonderful.