Summary: Calvin accidently brings the TV to life, when he tries to get every channel in the world.

And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series

The Night of the Living Television

Calvin watched in pure envy as The Dirkins set up a Direct TV ADVANCED up on their roof. Hobbes was watching too, but his expression was less lethal.

Just then, Dad came out of the house, and hauled the garbage outside.

Calvin's eyes shot at Dad like bullets.

"Why don't we have that kind of TV?" He whined, as Dad heaved the garbage bag into the Garbage Barrel.

"We don't need that kind of TV, and you know it." Dad said. "As far as I'm concerned we have to stay far off from the pace of life. Not only does it Build Character, but it causes less stress."

"Fine, then!" Calvin yelled. "You can stay out of the pace of life! But why do you have to make us suffer? We are probably the only people on this planet that have satellite!"

"Now that's what I mean," Dad objected. "these inventions are constantly changing, and getting more expensive. Why should one constantly have to update his or her item every few months?" He pointed at the Dirkins new dish. "It's pointless!"

"No it's not!" Calvin yelled, but he left it at that. He knew trying to convince his dad of something was like talking to a tree stump.

Calvin went complaining into the house.

"It just isn't fair!" He yelled. "Susie's getting Direct TV, and I'm not!"

"Well, at least our station still gives us Nickelodeon and Boomerang." Hobbes said.

"Big deal!" Calvin yelled. "Do we have the Starz Super Pack? Do we have surround sound? Do we have anything else besides ten or fifteen channels!"

"Not exactly." Hobbes said. "I think we have CNN, Nickelodeon east and west, Boomerang, a little bit of Cartoon Network on the weekends. Court TV, some other channel a couple of Music Choice, MSNBC, FOX, three or four of the Starz networks, another movie channel and A&E."

"See," Calvin screamed. "We have barely have any channels at all!"

Calvin stormed up to his room, and stared out the window into Susie's house.

"Look at them!" Calvin yelled. "All gathered around their unworthy TV! What are they watching anyway?"

"That horse movie called Dreamer, I think." Hobbes said.

"WHAT A WASTE OF PERFECTLY GOOD TV!" Calvin screeched. "I'm sick of our station!"

And with that, Calvin pulled something out of his drawer.

Hobbes watched,

"Calvin what are you doing?" He asked.

Calvin held up a small item that looked like a band aid, and shoved it in Hobbes' face.

"This Hobbes, is the T.R. (TV Restoration) device. I've been saving it for just such an occasion."

Calvin walked over to the window.

"It directs all of the TV power around this state to our own living room! All I have to do, is connect this baby to the electric box, and badda bing, badda boom! The ultimate TV package is ours!"

"But won't you Dad notice the change?" Hobbes asked.

"Of corse not." Calvin said. "The only channel he watches is A&E. and Mom only watches Starz and CNN. Only we will notice the difference."

"Mmm-hmm." Hobbes said. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Why?" Calvin asked. "Since when have my inventions done anything otherwise than make our lives easier?"

Hobbes immediately started thinking about the Duplicator, Time Machine, MTM, Mini Duplicator, Book Transport, Time Pauser, Transmogrifier, and now this.

"I'm not even going to answer that." Hobbes said.

"Oh, Boo hoo, for you." Calvin said. "You don't want the ultimate package? Fine. But I'm hooking this up to our power box!"

Calvin then ran out of the room.

Hobbes turned to the audience.

"You know what's going to happen, and I know what's going to happen." he said, and then walked out of the room.

Calvin rushed to the other side of the house, and opened up the power box.

He grinned, and attached the Band Aid, TR, whatever to the electric part.

Electricity surged around the TR, and wires shot out, and started attaching themselves to several places.

Calvin slammed the Power Box door shut, and grinned.

Calvin ran back into the house.

"Ok," Calvin said. "The TR should be properly installed in fifteen seconds."

Calvin and Hobbes watched the clock.

5...4...3...2...1...

At that very moment Calvin's house, Susie's house, and all the other houses in the area became victim to an intense power surge.

For 45 seconds, there was no light, and Calvin and Hobbes had been plunged into total darkness.

"Hey! A Power failure!" Dad yelled.

As soon as the words left his mouth, the power came back on.

Calvin winked at Hobbes, and whispered, "Direct TV, here I come!"

That night, around midnight, Calvin got up, thinking that he needed a midnight snack.

Calvin yawned, and walked for the kitchen.

Just then, he noticed a glowing in the living room.

Calvin's eyes widened, and he peeked into the living room.

The TV was on, and was on a NFL Sunday ticket channel.

Calvin grumbled, and walked for the TV.

He reached forward, and turned the TV off.

He started walking away, but then, the TV turned back on.

Calvin turned his head around, and stared at the TV.

He grunted, and walked back over and turned it off.

He placed his hands on his hips, and stared at the off TV.

It didn't turn back on.

Calvin grunted with satisfaction, and turned to leave.

The TV came back on.

Calvin whirled around, and glared at the TV, murderously.

"I command all idiot ghosts in the area to stop turning on this TV! I don't care if Football is on!"

Calvin switched the TV off.

It came back on.

"Oh, now your mocking me!" Calvin growled.

He marched over to the side of wall, and ripped the plug out.

The TV faded into black.

"Take that, TV dwelling ghosts!" Calvin spat. And with that, he turned to leave.

The TV came back on.

Calvin stopped.

He turned around, and stared at the TV.

He looked at the plug. It was on the floor, motionless.

Calvin looked back at the TV, blazing through the livingroom.

He looked back at the plug.

He blinked,

"Well that's just downright creepy." He said.

Calvin backed out the livingroom, and ran up the stairs.

"Hobbes! Hobbes! Come look!"

Hobbes shot out of bed.

"Pass the biscuits ribs and rickets!" He yelled in his sleep. "Help Murder Maday!"

His eyes came into focus, and he stared at Calvin.

"You have ten seconds to put me in a better mood." He growled. "I was just having a dream about the world's largest can of salmon."

"It's the TV!" Calvin yelled. "No matter how many times I turn it off, It just keeps coming back on! I even unplugged it, and it's still on!"

Hobbes sighed, and got out of bed.

"No sleep, tonight, I see." He sighed.

He and Calvin ran downstairs to the livingroom.

Calvin pointed at the TV.

"See there! It's alive! It's haunted! It's... It's..."

The TV was off.

"But come look!" Calvin yelled. "I unplugged it, and it came back on!"

Calvin and Hobbes rushed over to the wall.

The plug was in its socket, right back where it belonged.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at it.

Calvin turned a nervous grin onto Hobbes.

Hobbes squeezed his eyes shut, and started walking off.

"If I'm lucky, I'll have forgotten this by the morning." He grumbled, walking up the stairs.

"But... it... ghost... it... they... I'm sure it was..." Calvin babbled.

He hung his head, and gave the TV a murderous glare.

"I despise haunted TVs!" He warned it.

He went complaining and grumbling back up to bed.

He gave the TV one last look from the doorframe of his room, then closed the door.

The TV faded back on.

The next day, Calvin sat in the livingroom.

Calvin was eating Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, and Watching Nickelodeon.

Suddenly, the screen started glowing green. Spongebob started turning grass green. green.

"Hey!" Calvin yelled. "What's going on?"

Calvin rushed over to the TV, and started messing with the color knobs.

Some form of invisible things were trying to adjust the color and picture to a certain way.

Calvin noticed on of the knobs would slowly turn, stop, then another one would start to turn.

Calvin constantly tried to get the knobs to stop moving.

"Oooh, what do we have here?" Calvin asked reaching into his pocket. "A Time Pauser. Capable of stopping this injustice once and for all!"

Calvin hit the button.

BOOM!

Calvin chuckled, and looked over at the TV.

His grin faded.

He screamed.

Only then did Calvin realize that the TV was adjusting the color, black level, and so forth enough so that a face was showing through!

That's right, Calvin made out the profile of two sinister eyes, a bent and ugly face, and sharp teeth.

Even though Time had been stopped, Calvin was throwing glances over his shoulder.

He pushed the button again, and started time up.

Calvin switched the TV off.

It came back on.

Calvin unplugged the TV. It came on anyway.

Calvin took his baseball bat, and started whacking the TV with it.

No good.

Calvin screamed and ran upstairs.

"HOBBES! HOBBES! THE TV! IT'S HAUNTED! IT'S ALIVE! IT'S CREEPY! HELP ME!"

Hobbes gave Calvin a blank stare.

"Yes, of corse it is, Calvin. Is this a Stupendous Man, Spaceman Spiff or Tracer Bullet thing?"

"It's not!" Calvin screamed. "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! THE TV IS ALIVE!"

"Uh-huh." Hobbes said.

Calvin didn't watch TV at all that day.

He did everything he could to avoid it.

That night, Calvin peeked around into the livingroom.

The TV was on. Considering what we've just seen, that's not to surprising, is it?

Calvin stared at the TV.

The color had been adjusted and messed with so badly, now, that a horrible face showed through.

It was mumbling to itself.

"Alright!" Calvin yelled, making th TV look around. "I've caught you now."

The horrible face looked Calvin over.

The face was all wrinkled, and the eyes were red. Its nose was just two slits above its gaping mouth, it's round head was bald, it floating against a glowing green background, and there were arranged rows of slicing teeth in its mouth.

"Who are you?" The TV hissed in raspy voice.

"I am Calvin!" Calvin declared. "I am the owner of this TV. And I command you to... go away."

"AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!" It chuckled with a wheezing voice. "You are the one who brought me here. How can I go away?"

"Because if you don't, Mom will freak out when she gets up." Calvin growled. "And what do you mean, I brought you here? I did no such thing."

"You but that electronic strip on the power box." The TV hissed. "All the TV signals in this state was directed right to this house. Causing me to come to life. And I like this strength."

Calvin blinked.

"Yeah, well, same to you, bub!" He yelled. "Get out of here, so I can watch my shows!"

The TV laughed again.

"Still, I have little strength." It said.

"Good for you!" Calvin mumbled, losing his patience.

"If I can connect with every TV in the world, other than every one in this state, then I will rule supreme!"

"Sorry, gruesome!" Calvin yelled, "But you can't do that!"

He leaped for the power strip.

"I wouldn't do that, Calvin." The TV said. "unless you want five million volts of electricity surging through you.

Calvin stood up.

"You can't take over the world, bloody!" Calvin growled. "Dad won't allow it!"

"But I can." The TV said. "And I will. If you just look at the little red dot in the middle of the screen, then we can get along just perfectly, and you can make a more powerful strip. Watch the red dot."

Calvin turned away.

"HA! Nice, trying to hypnopotomize me your TV tricks! But it won't work!"

Calvin backed up from the TV.

"I brought you into this world, and I'm gonna take you out!"

Calvin burst out of the house.

He ran through the inky blackness of the night to the power box.

He ripped it open, and made a grab for the TR.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

"AAAA!"

White power zapped through Calvin.

Calvin collapsed, and smoke rose from him.

"AH HA HA HA HA!" The TV Screamed with laughter. "You can't stop me!"

Calvin looked up.

The telephone line started to sway, then lines broke off, and hurled for Calvin.

The all wrapped around Calvin's waist.

"YAAAAAAAAAH!" Calvin screamed, as the telephone lines lifted him upward, and started swinging him around.

A fat man opened up the drapes to his window, and stared outside.

He spotted the telephone lines swinging the screaming Calvin back and forth.

"Mmm-hmmmm." The man said, closing his drapes.

The telephone lines smashed Calvin into the Dirkins house, then into his house.

Calvin soon broke free and fell to the grass.

Calvin picked himself up, and spit grass and dirt out of his mouth.

Just then, Calvin heard a familiar sound.

He looked up, and saw the lawn mower roaring towards him.

"AAAAA!" Calvin screamed running away from the mower.

The lawn mower chased Calvin around the house four times, until the gas went out.

Calvin ran out of the yard and into the empty street.

Calvin was panting.

Just then, Susie's garage door opened. Then Moe's garage door opened.

Everybody's garage doors opened, and all the cars started.

Calvin looked around.

"I think I'll just step into the house, here." Calvin said, running into the house.

As soon as Calvin entered the house, the fridge door shot open, and food started bombarding him.

"AAAAAAA!" Calvin screamed, dodging the mayo, mustard, peanut butter, and ice creme.

Calvin rushed away from the fridge.

Then the egg beater started.

Calvin looked up.

The egg beater burst out of the drawer, and shot for Calvin.

"YAAAH!" Calvin screamed, dodging the punch.

Calvin rushed away. The Egg beater followed.

Finally it caught up, and started beating at Calvin's legs.

Calvin lifted a foot, and brought it down hard onto the machine.

CRASH!

Then Calvin heard a sound from the bathroom.

Calvin looked up, and saw the shaver rocketing for Calvin.

Calvin whipped his Transmogrifier gun out of his pocket, and zapped it, turning it into a hamburger.

Then the window broke, and the phone lines shot for Calvin, again.

They grabbed him, and stated to pull him outside again.

But they past Calvin's room in the process.

Calvin gave Hobbes a calm request for help.

"GET UP YOU FURBALL, BEFORE IT KILLS ME! ARE YOU GOING SLEEP WHILE THE TV TRIES TO MURDER ME!"

Hobbes sat up in bed, and stared at Calvin.

"HELP!" Calvin screamed as th phone lines ripped Calvin out the window.

Hobbes stared out the window at Calvin being thrown around again.

Then a light came on in his eyes.

"Oh. OHHH!"

Hobbes leaped out of bed, and scrambled downstairs.

"Ah, ah, ah." The TV said. "Bad kitty!"

The telephone rose from the hook, and bolted at Hobbes.

Hobbes dodged it, and raced for the door.

Just then, the fridge started pelting Hobbes with ice cubes.

Hobbes received a couple of blows but managed to get outside.

Hobbes stared at the screaming Calvin being thrown around on the telephone line.

"Don't worry Calvin!" Hobbes called.

Hobbes ran to the streets, and...

Just then, all of the cars started, and started rolling fo Hobbes.

"YIKES!" Hobbes yelped.

As The Dirkins' car zoomed for Hobbes, he jumped on top of it, and rode it into the ditch.

Then all the other cars started coming for Hobbes.

Hobbes started dodging all of them.

Hobbes raced for the side of the house, and started climbing up a ladder to the top of the roof.

When he got to the top, he raced over.

"Calvin!" He called. "Try to get it to swing over here!"

Calvin gave Hobbes a bewildered stare.

"Never mind. Ok, Plan B!"

Just then, more phone lines snapped, and grabbed Hobbes, and lifted him into the air.

"Or maybe Plan K."

All at once, Calvin and Hobbes were both being tossed around.

"HELP!" Calvin and Hobbes both screamed.

Just then, Calvin saw something sitting on the corner of the window in his room.

Just as the lines flung him at the window, Calvin grabbed it.

It was his Time Pauser.

Calvin hit the button, and the phone lines instantly froze.

BOOM!

Calvin tucked the Time Pauser into his pocket, then started pulling against the lines, finally, he broke free, and started falling, as he fell, The Time Pauser turned back on.

BOOM!

Calvin fell for the ground, and got up.

He grabbed his Transmogrifier gin out of his pocket, and pointed it at the phone line Hobbes was tangled in.

ZAP!

The phone line turned into a mouse, and both fell for the ground.

Hobbes got up, and raced for Calvin.

"Now what are we going to do?" he asked.

"We might try dodging that car." Calvin said.

Calvin and Hobbes leaped from the way, as a car roared past them.

"Ok, Now what?" Hobbes asked.

"The TR did this." Calvin whispered. "It turned the TV into a monster! We have to get rid of it, right away!"

"I'll do it," Hobbes said, pointing at the power box.

"No, it's protected. But if you distract the TV, I can zap the TR, and get rid of it."

"Right!" Hobbes grinned.

Hobbes raced into the house.

"Hey TV!" Hobbes screamed. "You couldn't catch a flea on a grandpa's knee! And ha, ha, ha! And ho, ho, ho! And I'll bet your mother wears overshoes!"

"You dare insult me!" The TV screeched. "No person shall insult me!"

More windows broke, and the phone lines zapped in for Hobbes.

They grabbed Hobbes by the arm, and started to yank on him.

Hobbes struggled against it, then cut the two lines on the broken glass.

"HA! YOU MISSED ME!" Hobbes laughed.

The TV growled, and turned a sharp glare on the computer a few feet away.

Hobbes and the TV stared at the computer as it shook and sent sparks into the air.

Hobbes blinked.

Then electricity shot out of the monitor, and nearly hit Hobbes.

"YIKES!" Hobbes yelled, leaping from the way.

Calvin rushed over to the Power Box, and ripped it open.

A long stream of white electricity shot out.

"AAAA!" Calvin said, falling over backwards.

Then the phone lines grabbed Calvin, again.

"Oh, terrific! Not again." Calvin yelled.

But instead of tossing Calvin around for a third time, the phone lines flung Calvin at the window.

"AAAAA!"

CRASH!

Calvin broke the window, and fell into the carpet in the livingroom with a thud.

Right now, you may be asking, why on Earth isn't someone coming out of bed to investigate? Well, most of the people were lazy bumbs around there, and others appeared to be really heavy sleepers.

Calvin got up from the carpet, and faced the laughing TV.

"You can not distract me with such foley rot!" The TV laughed. "You might as well, surrender."

Calvin whipped his Transmogrifier Gun out.

"EAT TRANSMOGRIFICATION, CREEPY!" Calvin yelled.

The TV grinned.

The Transmogrifier gun started to hiss and sizzle.

"YAAH!" Calvin said, throwing it away.

Suddenly Hobbes leaped out and attacked the TV.

"Down, kitty!" The TV yelled.

Hobbes looked behind him, and screamed.

The Time Machine was bumping down the stairs, and then attacked Hobbes.

"BACK!" Hobbes screamed. "BACK YOU MACHINE THAT I KNEW WAS ALREADY EVIL!"

While Hobbes was busy with the Time Machine, Calvin started to panic as the MTM attacked Calvin.

"WONDERFUL DEVICE!" Calvin yelled. "WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME?"

The MTM answered by shooting electricity at Calvin.

"YAAH!" Calvin said, dodging it.

"WHA, HA HA HA HA HA HA!" The TV laughed.

But after fifteen minutes, of Calvin screaming his head off and not surrendering, the TV started to get bored.

"Do my bidding, Calvin, and I'll leave" The TV compromised. "you'll never hear from me, again!"

Calvin stared at the TV, then plunged into his very last idea.

"Alright!" Calvin yelled. "but first make this thing stop attacking me!"

The MTM dropped to the ground.

"Make a more powerful strip." The TV commanded. "Then I can take over the world."

"Right!" Calvin grinned.

"CALVIN!" Hobbes yelled, kicking the Time Machine away for the sixtieth time. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"Just help me make the strip, Hobbes, I think you'll find the design interesting."

Calvin spent the next few minutes preparing the next strip.

When he was done, the TV looked it over.

"Put it over the computer." The TV ordered.

Calvin held the strip over the computer.

A light shot out, and scanned it.

"Ah good, more powerful. yes. Put it on the Power Box.

Calvin walked outside, and opened the power box.

He peeled off the old strip, and slapped the new one on.

Calvin cam back into the house.

The TV blinked.

"It should take fifteen seconds to be properly installed." Calvin said.

Calvin, Hobbes, and the TV all watched the clock.

5...4...3...2...1...

Electricity surged through the TV.

"AH! Yes! I can feel the power surging through me now!" The TV declared. "Delicious power! How I crave it! How I love it! How I..."

Just then, the electricity stopped.

"Hey!" The TV yelled. "What gives? Where's the power?"

"Right here." Calvin said, lifting his wrist up showing his watch.

He pushed a button on the watch.

The face on the TV turned to static for a second, then came back on.

"HEY!" He yelled. "What's going on? I can't control any of objects around me!"

"BINGO!" Calvin yelled.

He hit the button on his watch.

ZZZZT!

The TV went out for a second, then came back on.

"STOP THAT!" The TV commanded. "It's weakening me!"

"Power surge!" Calvin shouted, hitting the button.

ZZZZZTT

"AAAAHHH!" The TV moaned.

"There's another one!" Calvin yelled hitting the button, again.

ZZT!

"YEEEEK!"

"Man they're everywhere!" Calvin grinned hitting the button several times.

ZZT! ZZZT! ZZZT!

"AAAAAAAAAA!"

"Whu-oh!" Calvin said, holding his hand over his head. "Here comes a power outage!"

Calvin slowly headed for the button.

Smoke was rising from the TV, and it was glaring at Calvin.

"Fine!" he growled. "Fade me out! But heed my words! I will come back! And will I do..."

"Blah, blah, blah!" Calvin yelled. "This is the most boring part of the episode! Hero defeats villain, and villain threatens to come back, more powerful than ever! We've heard it all before, Charlie!"

Calvin hit the button.

"NOOOOOOO!"

The TV yelled, fading into blackness.

"Wow." Hobbes said. "We just saved the entire world. And no one will ever know."

"Yeah." Calvin said. "that ultimate package wasn't everything it was cracked up to be anyway. tomorrow morning, I'm taking both T.R.s, and throwing them away."

"That's the spirit."

"And no one will ever be the wiser." Calvin said.

"Unless they get tipped off about who wrecked their houses." Hobbes said.

"Unless they what?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes sighed, and shook his head.

"I'm going back to bed." He said, and with that, he left Calvin alone in the smoking trashed livingroom.

"Maybe Mom and Dad won't notice!" Calvin called.

"Ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ght." Hobbes said.

Calvin grumbled, and ran up after him.

The End

EPILOGUE:

The next day, everybody woke up to find their cars missing and their house trashed. The neighborhood had a suspicion for who did it, but there was no linking him to the crime. construction workers later said that the phone lines had been snapped due to a lot of electricity centered in one place. They never found how that happened, or how most of them seemed to have landed in Calvin's house. Nor did they find out how all of the cars on the block started themselves, and rolled down the street for several blocks.

Calvin threw the TRs away, much to the delight of Hobbes, and Calvin never complained about having an inferior TV service again.

The Dirkins eventually got rid of their Direct TV ADVANCED, saying that it was to much of a distraction around the house. And of corse, Calvin had to rub it in with Susie.

It hasn't helped their friendship.

Voice work

Pamela Segal: Calvin

Tom Hanks: Hobbes

Bill Murray: Dad

Ben Stine: The guy that goes "Mmm-hmmm"

Eric Roberts: Demented TV

Dee Bradley Baker: Narrator/miscellaneous voice work

Coming up next: A Calvin and Hobbes Christmas