Summary: Socrates goes missing when Calvin decides he's had enough of his pranks.

And now the second Calvin and Hobbes: The Series TV movie!

Have You Seen This Tiger?

Calvin, as you know, loves animals of all kinds. Such as dogs, cats, and birds.

The only animal that Calvin doesn't like, the only cat that Calvin dislikes with his whole in entire being, is a certain tiger with red stripes on his tail. Socrates.

You see, it was Socrates that lead Calvin into the peanut butter incident. It made Calvin so mad that he...

Well, he wouldn't have minded if Socrates would've just... VANISHED. Without a trace. No clues, no suspects, no way that Hobbes could link Calvin with the, uh, tragedy.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

It all started in mid-morning in the fall of the year.

Socrates had come over to visit Hobbes, and they were playing outside.

Calvin had given Hobbes orders to report to the tree house for the GROSS Autumn Celebration.

When he failed to show up, Calvin climbed out of the tree house, and stalked down the hill towards the house.

There he saw two tigers.

They were... What were they doing?

Calvin narrowed his eyes, and studied the scene.

It looked like they were staring at the dirt.

Yeah, that's what they were doing. They were sitting across from each other, and looking down at the ground in front of them.

Calvin rushed up.

"Number one, What's going on, around here? Number two, Your supposed to be at our GROSS meeting, Hobbes! And Number three, What the heck are you two doing?"

Hobbes looked up.

"Oh, hi, Calvin." He said. "We're playing checkers."

Calvin stared at Hobbes. Then he stared at the dirt in front of them.

"Your what?" he asked. "I don't see any checkers?"

"That's because we're playing Checkerless Checkers." Hobbes said.

Socrates nodded and grinned.

"That's right, Calvin, we're playing Checkerless Checkers. Do you want play?"

"No." Calvin said.

Socrates shrugged, and turned back to the dirt.

He tapped his paw in three different places, then looked up at Hobbes.

"Sorry, Hobbes. I just jumped three of your men." he said.

Hobbes squinted at the dirt.

"Oh, darn." He said. "I guess I shouldn't have made that last move. Did I loose another game?"

Socrates nodded and grinned.

"Yup, but your getting better all the time."

"HALT!" Calvin yelled. "I've gathered up all the info I need! Hobbes! Socrates told you about this game, right?"

"Yes." Hobbes said.

Calvin didn't see it, but Socrates and Hobbes exchanged winks.

Calvin continued.

"Right, Your telling me you can remember every move in a checker game?"

"Well, I can't. But Socrates can."

"How do you know?" Calvin asked.

"He told me so."

"Hm, yes."

Calvin thought for a moment.

"OK, Hobbes. One more question. Who has won the most games?"

Hobbes thought.

"Well, Socrates won the first one. Then Socrates won the second one. But then, Socrates won the fourth time, then he won the fifth one."

"What about the third game?" Calvin asked.

"I think Socrates won that one."

"Mmm-hmmm."

Calvin rolled his eyes around.

"Hobbes, does it strike you as odd that Socrates has won five out of five games? Do think he might be cheating?"

Hobbes shook his head.

"Oh, no. Because we both promised not to cheat."

Socrates nodded.

"Yes, we both promised." He said. "Because cheating isn't nice."

Calvin gave them both blank stares.

"It's all clear, now Hobbes! You've been duped! The Kitty just pulled you into a game you can't win! HE HAS CHEATED YOU!"

"But he said..."

"Never mind what he said! Socrates is always trying to do something con like! You can put that in your little book!"

"I don't have a little book."

"Get one." Calvin spat. "I'm ashamed of you, Hobbes! Now march yourself to the top of the hill and patrol the tree!"

"But..."

"NOW! And I want a full report when you get back!"

Hobbes started to walk away.

But not before he and Socrates exchanged more winks and grins.

Calvin spun around to Socrates.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, cat! Taking advantage of a dunce!"

Socrates was wiping the so called board clean.

"Oh, yes, Calvin. I've learned long ago that I can't pull any pranks on YOU." He said.

"Exactly!" Calvin said. "We're on opposite sides of the law, So-crates! We're like the policeman and the robber! Only the robbers know how good the police are, and only the police know how good the robbers are!"

Socrates nodded.

"That's right, Calvin. I understand you, and you understand me."

"And yet," Calvin continued. "Both the robbers and the police both can't help but admire each others work!"

"Mm-hmm."

Socrates was finished clearing the board and now he was... setting it up, again?

Calvin stared at him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm going to play a game of chess. With myself." Socrates said. "You probably don't know anything about it. It's a game that requires concentration, and your full undivided atten..."

Calvin laughed.

"You think I don't know about chess? The ancient game of WAR? I've got news for YOU, Crateso! I know everything about Chess! Ask me anything!"

"Black or white?"

"Huh?"

"Do you want to play black or white?" Socrates repeated.

"Oh. Well, Black I suppose. It matches the color of my heart!"

"Alright. I'll open with pawn to king four."

"Oh yeah?"

Calvin studied the board.

"Well that doesn't scare me one little bit, and I'll just move this little fawn..."

"It's a pawn, Calvin. Not a fawn." Socrates said.

"Whatever. There's my move, buddy! Read it, and weep!"

In fifteen minutes, Calvin was in deep trouble. He had lost both bishops, one knight, and his last castle was in check.

Just then, Calvin realized that Hobbes was standing over him.

He stared at them.

"What are you doing?"

Calvin looked at Hobbes. He looked at Socrates. He looked at the empty space of dirt in front of him.

"Uuuuuhhh..." Calvin said, sweeping his hand across the so called board, erasing all evidence of the game. "We're studying the dirt, Hobbes. Taking soil samples, and stuff like that, and what are you doing back so soon?"

"Well, we just pulled a prank on you, and your totally oblivious to it." Hobbes muttered.

"WHAT!" Calvin yelled.

"Nothing." Hobbes replied, warily. "Your Mom's calling you from the house. She's made us all peanut butter and honey sandwiches."

"You're bothering me with a report about peanut butter? Hobbes, I'm a very busy man! I don't have time for honey!"

Calvin spun around to Socrates.

"And as for YOU!"

Socrates wasn't there.

Calvin looked around, then spotted him walking down the hill towards the house.

Calvin narrowed his eyes, and ran to catch up with him.

Hobbes followed.

"Where do you think you're going, you feeble-minded cat?" Calvin demanded.

"I'm going to eat. Why?" Socrates replied.

"You hate peanut butter!" Calvin yelled. "You're up to something! I know it!"

"Uh huh."

"Ya can't fool me, cat! I can read you like a book!"

"Uh."

Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates walked into the house.

"Here you are, Calvin." Mom said, handing Calvin the sandwich. "Eat it slowly."

Calvin turned a fierce grin onto Socrates.

"Ha! Let's see you trick me with something you can't have!"

Socrates stared at Calvin. He shrugged, and walked upstairs with Hobbes, close behind.

Calvin glared at the two suspiciously.

This was very unlike Socrates. Ten minutes had gone by, and Socrates hadn't conned him.

That was strange. Usually, Socrates would have pranked Calvin five times every ten minutes.

But now, he wasn't doing anything.

Calvin checked his sandwich to make sure Socrates hadn't snuck any bugs into it. It was clean so he warily took a bite out of it.

When nothing happened, he took another bite, then another, and another, and another. Then went back for seconds.

That was weird.

The sandwich wasn't getting any smaller as Calvin ate it. In fact, it was getting bigger.

Calvin tried to take another bite out of the sandwich, but IT WAS TOO BIG!

Calvin collapsed out of the chair and screamed, as peanut butter and honey filled the room.

Calvin swam through the ocean of peanut butter.

He emerged from the sea, next to the stairs and spotted Socrates.

He was holding the Transmogrifier Gun, and was zapping the peanut butter, making it a sea.

Calvin started screaming at the red tailed tiger.

"YOU MORON! CHANGE THIS BACK IMMEDIATELY! I OUGHT TO SUE YOU!"

On every three words, Calvin's head went under the sea of orange glue, and came back up, looking like a giant peanut butter monster.

Socrates had a wide grin on his face, as he continued to enlarge the sea with the gun.

Hobbes was standing at Calvin's door, laughing his head off, and leaning against the frame for support.

Just then, Mom screamed, "Calvin! What are you doing! I'm coming in!"

Socrates' grin widened.

He zapped the peanut butter one last time, and it all shrunk back into Calvin's half eaten sandwich.

But Calvin was still covered with the stuff, and the entire kitchen was coated in a thin layer of it.

Socrates and Hobbes backed up into Calvin's room, and vanished.

Mom came into the kitchen, and stared at the scene before her.

Calvin wiped some of the butter of his face, and grinned, sheepishly at Mom.

Calvin was in his room, next thing he knew, and he was surrounded by laughing tigers.

That night, when Calvin was in bed, he got up to get a drink.

Socrates was sleeping in the floor, next to the bed, and Calvin tiptoed past him.

Calvin silently opened the door, and slipped outside.

Socrates' left eye shot open and moved over to where Calvin had just left.

Calvin tiptoed down the stairs, and got a glass out of the drawer.

Socrates slithered down the stairs, and slunk across the livingroom.

Calvin turned the faucet and poured himself some water.

He drank the water, then wiped his mouth with his arm, and placed the glass on the counter.

Calvin then started back up the stairs.

TWANG!

"YAAAH!"

All at once, a rope grabbed Calvin's foot, and flung him back into the kitchen where he landed in the cabinet.

However, there just happened to be a spring in th cabinet, and Calvin went soaring over the livingroom, and crash-landed into the wall outside his room.

Once Calvin spit all the wallpaper out of his teeth, he heard, laughing.

The laughing of two overgrown children who pretended to be tigers.

Calvin glared at them, and trudged back to bed.

The next day, Socrates was still at the house, much to Calvin's disappointment.

By noon, Socrates had shoved Calvin into a puddle of mud, used a catch rope to fling him onto the roof, trapped him in crate, sent him to the Jurassic Period with the MTM, dumped over ten pounds of mustard onto him, pushed him into the creek, trapped him in the attic for thirty minutes, shoved him into a bookcase, thrust him into the trash barrel, and flung his face into his Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.

After the next prank Socrates pulled, Calvin decided he was going to do something about it.

We'll be right back with HAVE YOU SEEN THIS TIGER? On Calvin and Hobbes: The Series!