Swing123: From here on, Fanfiction member Garfieldodie will be co writing Calvin and Hobbes: The Series. So I'd like to thank him for the help. Thank you.
Summary: Calvin and Hobbes go on a camping trip with Dad
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Swing123 and garfieldodie
Camping on a Deserted Rock is FUN!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Calvin flew out of the livingroom, zoomed up the stairs, exploded into his room, slammed the door, and dove into his closet.
"HOBBES! HIDE!"
Hobbes' had shot up.
He dropped the comic book, and dove into the closet after Calvin.
"WHAT IS IT!" Hobbes yelled. "You made another invention and it blew up, didn't it!"
Calvin glared at him.
"No." he spat. "Dad just stated that he was going to take us camping on the most desolate place on Earth!"
"YEEK!" He yelled. "EVEN WORSE!"
Suddenly, the sound of the door creaking reached Calvin and Hobbes' ears.
Footsteps entered the room.
Someone was coming for the closet.
"It's coming!" Calvin hissed. "Back up into the closet."
Calvin and Hobbes ducked deeper into the closet.
The door opened.
Dad stood in the doorway, staring down at Calvin.
Calvin stared back up at him.
"Get packed." He said. "Bring only the essentials."
And with that, he left.
Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.
"Darn." Calvin said.
"You heard the man." Hobbes said, standing up. "Bring only the essentials. We'll need atomic bug spray."
"And, we'll need to bring a TV, DVD player, and over sixty five miles worth of extension cords."
Hobbes stared at him.
"Uhhh.. Yeah."
Calvin packed all his inventions, his comic books, his dart gun, and he tried to get the TV, but Dad caught him, trying to haul it into the car.
Calvin piled everything into his Hypercube, and walked outside with Hobbes.
Mom and Dad were staring at Calvin as he walked towards the car.
Calvin shoved his duffle bag into the car, and sat down on the seat.
He buckled himself in, then buckled Hobbes in, and sat there, grumbling to himself about all the injustices in the world.
Dad put the key into the ignition, and started the car.
Soon, they reached the huge city that went towards the lake, and then the island they always camp on.
"Wait, Dad, here's our chance!" Calvin yelled. "Let's stop here, and stay at a hotel for a week! I wont tell anyone if you don't!"
"That's a great idea!" Mom said.
"Now, don't you start!" Dad spat. "We're going to have fun, this week, on the most perfect place in the universe."
"Orlando, I hope." Calvin said.
Dad ignored him.
Soon, they reached the parking place at the edge of the lake.
Dad untied the canoe from the tope of the car, and heaved it into the water.
Calvin, Hobbes, and Mom watched.
"Aren't you going to help?" Dad huffed.
"Why?" Calvin asked.
"We'll get to the island faster." Dad gasped.
"I'm not helping." Mom said.
"I'm not helping." Calvin said.
"Nope." Hobbes said.
Dad huffed and wheezed, and finally got the canoe into the water.
"OK, gang!" He yelled, as if nobody had insulted him. "Let's go have some fun!"
"I'm right behind you." Calvin said.
He hopped into the car with Hobbes.
Mom got into the car with Calvin.
Dad's eyes squeezed shut.
"GET OUT OF THE CAR!" He screamed.
Mom, Calvin and Hobbes grumpily exited the car.
They all piled into the car, and Dad pushed off, and they started towards the island.
Minutes went by, as Mom and Dad operated the paddles, and Calvin sat in the canoe with Hobbes, sulking.
When they reached the island, Everyone except Calvin and Hobbes got out of the canoe.
It took Dad twenty minutes to get Calvin out of the canoe.
Calvin sat on the rock, as Dad started taking the tent out of the duffel bag.
"Well, Hobbes, we're trapped." Calvin spat. "We'll probably rot here on this rock, and never be heard from again. And when the future archeologists dig us up, they'll find fossilized spam in our digestive systems."
"Gee, I wonder if those future archeologists will be humans or robots." Hobbes asked.
"Who cares!" Calvin yelled. "The point is that we have to get off this stupid island, before it's too late!"
"Yeah, right."
"Calvin, I have your tent set up." Dad called.
ZOOM!
There was a blur of red, and a high gust of wind, and Calvin was inside the tent.
Hobbes was already there.
Calvin glared at him, and didn't bother to ask how he had gotten there first.
Calvin took out his duffle bag, and pulled a comic book out.
He spent the next few minutes reading his comic books until Dad called him outside.
Reluctantly, Calvin exited the tent to find Mr Nature Freak grinning down at him with a stupid grin on his face.
Mom was nowhere in sight.
"What do you want?" Calvin muttered.
"Are you just going to spend all day in that tent?" Dad asked.
"Do you really not know?" Calvin asked.
Dad held his hand outward.
"We have an entire island here to explore! Don't you want to discover the wonders of nature!"
Calvin stared at him.
"Do you really not know?" He repeated.
Dad glared at him.
"We're going on a hike!" He spat. "We're going to get in touch with our natural selves!"
"I'd rather get in touch with my Television side, if it's all the same to you." Calvin said, turning to go back into the tent.
Dad grabbed his shirt collar.
"WE'RE GOING TO EXPLORE!" He screamed.
Calvin and Hobbes exchanged long glances.
Dad walked down a trail in the dirt.
He had a day hike backpack on, and Mom, Calvin and Hobbes were behind him with bored expressions on their faces.
Dad, however, had a wide grin on his face, and he continued to look around in all directions as if he'd never seen the color green, before.
That's all that was around the family.
A thick blanket of green.
Calvin, Hobbes, Mom and Dad's pants were all soaking wet from walking through wet plants.
Except, Hobbes doesn't wear pants, so he was the only one who didn't get his pants wet.
He got his legs wet.
Calvin was not enjoying the hike.
"Can we turn back now? My leg hurts! Are you listening to me? I wanna go back to the tent. Why can't we turn back, yet? These feet are killing me! HELP!"
Dad ignored him, and the march continued.
"What do you say we stop for a snack, gang?"
Mom and Calvin stared at Dad with expressionless faces.
Hobbes was sitting next by, picking the leafs off of a fern.
Dad took his backpack off, and reached into it.
"Who wants a strawberry energy bar!" He said, cheerfully.
Everyone stared at him.
Calvin grabbed the bar out of his hand.
"Energy bar? Let me see that!"
Calvin ripped the wrapping off, and took a bite.
Hmmm.
A soft chewy substance with strawberry filling.
Calvin wolfed the bar down in three bites.
Mom took a bar too, and started eating.
"Wow!" Calvin said. "This beats that horrible spam sandwiches we have at dinner! I wanna another one!"
Dad handed Calvin second bar.
Calvin gulped it down in two bites.
Then he demanded for more.
Dad closed the pack up.
"We'll have more at our next rest stop. Let's continue moving."
Calvin, Mom and Hobbes' eyes rolled into the back of their heads.
The next rest stop?
HA!
They didn't even stop long enough to pant.
They walked around the island three times, before they actually realized that they were lost.
Calvin was the first one to make the startling discovery.
"WHERE THE HECK ARE WE!" He screamed, throwing his arms into the air.
Dad stopped.
Mom stopped.
Calvin stopped.
Hobbes ran right into Calvin, the little dunce.
Dad looked around in all directions.
He saw... green.
A thick wall of green plant life.
Terrific.
Hobbes began shivering.
Dad scratched his chin in thought.
Calvin, Mom, and Hobbes all started yelling at once.
"YOU GOT US LOST ON YOUR STUPID HIKE!" They all screamed in unison.
Do you know what Dad did then?
He turned a silly grin onto his family.
"This is great, gang!"
Everyone stared at him in disbelief.
"Funny." Calvin said. "Because the last time I checked, getting lost in a thick jungle on a deserted island was BAD!"
"Don't you get it!" Dad yelled. "This will be a perfect time to get out all our survival skills and live off the land!"
Everyone stared at the lunatic in front of them.
"Are you serious?" Calvin demanded.
"I'm not hunting anything." Mom said.
"Are we going to grow beards?" Hobbes asked, referring back to the movie Cast Away.
"I'm not making any friends with a volleyball!" Calvin declared.
Well, as you can imagine, ol' Father Nature was beside himself with joy.
And, you can imagine his disappointment when Calvin found the tents fifteen minutes later.
Calvin immediately dove into his tent with Hobbes, and refused to come out, even when dinner was served.
This doesn't mean he didn't out.
Dad somehow dragged him out, and put him next to a camp fire.
And no, I don't know how he did it.
But the point is that he did, and Calvin found himself trying to digest rocks and sawdust or whatever it was that Dad put in that sandwich he gave him.
It tasted like... raw fish. With sawdust for flavor.
Hobbes, meanwhile, was laying on his back, sleeping his life away, and opening his eyes long enough to watch Calvin gag and choke on the sandwiches that his own father was feeding to him.
Cruel huh?
And in case you're wondering, yes, Hobbes did take time out of his busy schedule, to laugh insanely whenever that happened.
Calvin glared at Hobbes murderously, and continued to try and digest that horrible spam sandwich Dad expected him to eat.
The next morning, Calvin took some duct tape out of his hypercube, removed the outside zipper to the tent and locked themselves inside.
When Father Nature came to wake him up at the coldest hour of the morning, he found that the zipper was gone, and was replaced with duct tape.
Dad had a lot to say about that. And most of it wasn't all that cheerful, either.
Finally, to Calvin and Hobbes' relief, Dad left, grumbling to himself about getting his DNA tested one of these days.
As soon as he left, the boy and the tiger fell right off to sleep again.
What do you think Dad did then?
A: Went back to bed.
B: Told everyone it was time to go.
Or C: Went to go bug Mom.
Those of you who chose A or B, you're not watching enough of these episodes.
"Dear?" Dad asked, looking into the tent. "Come on, we have to go on another hike!"
"WHY!" Mom yelled, pulling the sleeping bag over her head.
"Because, this is the best time of day!" Dad said, pointing at the lake. "See? The air is crisp, there's a mist around the lake! This is a perfect time for a hike!"
Mom glared at him.
"You're not going to stop bugging me are you?" She growled.
"Nope."
Mom sighed, and kicked the sleeping bag off.
She refused to say anything to Dad as she put on her boots, and prepared to leave.
Soon, though, she was ready, and Dad was waiting outside.
"Calvin!" Dad called. "We're going on a hike! Do you want to come or not?"
"SNORE!" Calvin screamed from inside his tent.
Dad's eye narrowed to slits.
"Fine!" he yelled. "We'll go without you."
"SNORE!"
"You'll be sorry of course!" Dad yelled.
"SNORE!"
"Your mother and I will get in touch with nature, and you wont!"
"SNORE!"
Dad grumbled to himself, and lead Mom into the woods.
"Are they gone?" Hobbes asked.
"Obviously. The noise has stopped." Calvin hissed.
Hobbes yawned, and pulled the sleeping bag over his head.
He peeked at Calvin's watch.
Five o'clock AM.
Figures.
He closed his eyes and fell asleep.
The hands on Calvin's watch progressively turned.
Five turned into six. Six turned into eight. Eight turned into ten. Ten turned into noon.
By this time, Calvin's eyes began drift open.
He sat up, and yawned.
He looked around.
Dad hadn't gotten back yet.
That was just fine with Calvin.
He laid back down and fell asleep again.
Mom and Dad were still on their hike.
After a few hours of hiking, they had come to a part of the island they had never been to before.
Dad moved some weeds out the way, and looked around.
"Hey dear, come look at this."
"I'm not smelling anymore poison sumac!" Mom yelled, stomping over.
Dad glared at her, and said, "I showed you one sumac plant, and you just can't let it go, can ya?"
Dad pointed at a large cave in the rock wall.
"I found a cave. Why don't we go look at it?" He asked.
"No way." Mom said. "What if there's a rock slide?"
"There wont." Dad insisted.
"How do you know?" Mom spat.
"Because, when I was in my twenties, I went spelunking in hundreds of caves, and I never got caught in a rock slide."
Mom crossed her eyes.
"Those weren't even caves." She muttered. "They were giant cracks in the rocks."
"Never mind." Dad muttered. "Let's just go look at it."
And with that, Dad slowly started walking into the cave.
Mom sighed and followed.
"See, how terrible is this?" Dad asked, bending forward, and walking forward, holding a flashlight.
"We're going to get trapped." Mom said.
"No we're not. Quit worrying."
Dad paused for a second, and leaned against the rock wall.
"We have to show this to Calvin! He'll love this!"
"Yeah right." Mom muttered.
"What?"
"Yeah. He sure would. Right."
"Yes sir. Before we do that, we better go through here real quick to make sure it's safe."
"It's not."
"Yes it is. Let's move into this little tunnel for a second."
Slowly, Mom and Dad moved across the cave tunnel.
They came to a small room.
"Hey!" Dad yelled. "This is cool!"
"And dangerous." Mom said.
Dad rolled his eyes.
"For the last time, dear, we are not going to get caught in a rock slide!"
Do you know what happened then?
Dad punched a rock in order to make his point, and it came out.
CRACK!
Mom and Dad looked up.
Dad had punched out a pretty big boulder.
And the wall where it once was laying was now... uh... collapsing.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Mom and Dad screamed, and ran off.
They dove into another tunnel, as over a ton of rocks all collapsed in front of the entrance of the cave.
FOOM!
Dust and dirt flew everywhere for a minute, then when it settled, Mom and Dad emerged from the tunnel.
Mom turned to Dad.
"You were saying?"
"Never mind." Dad said.
Several hours went by.
Around three o'clock, Calvin woke up, and yawned again.
"Wake up, Hobbes." He smacked. "It's lunch time."
Hobbes' eyes drifted open.
"Mumbling catfish salad." He said.
Calvin's eyes narrowed.
"Hobbes, don't make me get out my scream horn."
"Tell your spaghetti leaves to double clutch the peanut butter."
"Very well. You have no one to blame but yourself." Calvin said, reaching into his duffle bag.
"I donkey that."
Calvin rooted through his duffle bag and pulled out an red air horn, and a pair of ear muffs.
He put on the ear muffs, and held the air horns out at arm's length.
HHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNKKKKK!
Hobbes' eyes flew open, revealing... not much, his lips shot up, revealing a wall of teeth, and he leaped three feet into the air, got tangled up in the tent, and fell back to the ground.
His eyes rolled around in his head, then they finally focused onto Calvin.
He was putting his ear muffs and scream horn away.
"Hobbes, it's time to get up."
"I've noticed."
"Because according to my watch it's time for Mom and Dad to take us home!"
"WHOO HOO!" Calvin and Hobbes both yelled in unison, their fists shooting into the air.
Calvin somehow clawed his way out of the tent, and looked around.
"MOM! DAD!" Calvin called.
No one answered.
Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.
"MOM! DAD! IT'S TIME TO GO!"
No response.
Calvin scratched his head in confusion.
"That's odd." He muttered. "Usually Dad hides when Mom says it's time to go."
"Where's your mom?" Hobbes asked.
"No idea." Calvin said.
He started to panic.
"Oh no! This is bad! This is terrible! DAD HAS THE CAR KEYS!"
Calvin and Hobbes looked all around the campsite.
They found no trace of Mom or Dad.
Hobbes was looking in Mom and Dad's tent for the fiftieth time, when he heard a beeping noise.
He looked up, and saw Calvin walking towards him, holding a red CD player with a hologram shooting out of it.
Hobbes prepared to perform his famous vanishing act, but Calvin grabbed him by the tail, and drug him over.
"Look Hobbes, I'm going to scan the island for Mom and Dad. They have to be here. The canoe's still here."
Calvin pushed a button on the MTM.
A message came out.
Oh hi. I suppose you want me to do something high tech and cool, so you'll take all the credit. Am a correct?
Calvin blinked.
Yes.
He typed back.
The MTM responded.
Just remember those "machine triumph over man kind" movies, bucko
And with that, a beeping radar screen came onto the hologram.
"Calvin, your MTM is starting to scare me." Hobbes said.
"You worry to much. He always says that." Calvin said.
At that very moment, another message came onto the screen.
Specified persons located
the digital map immediately zoomed in on the west end of the island.
Two red dots appeared in a thickly wooded area, and started blinking.
"I had a dog, and his name was bingo!" Calvin grinned.
Hobbes stared at the map.
"Calvin, they're over five miles away from our campsite!"
"Better bring a pack lunch." Calvin said, picking up his Time Pauser and Transmogrifier Gun.
"Hoo boy." Hobbes sighed.
Several minutes later, Calvin and Hobbes were hiking through the dense forestry.
The MTM was leading them towards the area where Mom and Dad were.
So far they were getting nowhere.
Hobbes tried to sneak away several times, but Calvin kept catching him.
"OK." Calvin said, "We've reached Mom and Dad's reported location."
He looked around, in all directions.
"I can't find anything." He said.
"Try calling for them." Hobbes suggested.
Calvin took a breath in, and called, "MOM! DAD! WHERE ARE YOU! GET OUT HERE SO WE CAN LEAVE! I'M MISSING GARFIELD AND FRIENDS!"
No one answered.
Hobbes began shivering.
"They have to be around here somewhere." Calvin thought out loud.
He consulted the MTM's map.
"I don't get it, Hobbes. They're supposed to be right here!"
"Maybe they left."
"Impossible."
Calvin grabbed the MTM.
"WHERE ARE THEY!" He yelled at it.
A hologram shot out.
Over there, dunce.
A blinking red arrow came on, and pointed in the direction right in front of them.
Calvin and Hobbes' eyes drifted down from the arrow, and fixed on a thick wall of green.
They blinked.
"Oh." Calvin said.
He put the MTM in his pocket, and turned to Hobbes.
"OK, Hobbes, you first."
Hobbes looked shocked.
"ME! Why do I have to go first?"
Calvin poked Hobbes in the chest.
"Because if I go first, you'll rush off for the tents, you little weenie. Get in there!"
Hobbes moaned and cried, but Calvin refused to listen.
Calvin shoved him into the weeds, and then followed.
When he emerged from the ferns, he found Hobbes.
His arms were crossed, and he had a smug smile on his face.
"Calvin," he asked. "Did you check the batteries on that MTM?"
Calvin stared.
"Yes."
"Well, they must not have been very good."
Hobbes stepped aside, and revealed...
Well not much.
A solid wall of rock.
Calvin's eyes blanked out.
"Huh?" He stuttered. "But... but...but...but... but... but... the MTM is never wrong! How could this happen?"
"HOW COULD YOU TRUST YOUR INVENTIONS WITH SUCH A DANGEROUS TASK!" Hobbes screamed.
"Well, duh! What did you expect me to use out here! Poison sumac?"
Hobbes stared at him in disbelief.
"You're unbelievable!" he spat.
"Thanks"
"Your welcome."
Calvin scanned the rock with the MTM.
"Hmmmm," He considered. "This is interesting."
Hobbes stood on the side, tapping his foot impatiently.
"What are you doing!" he demanded.
Calvin grinned, and handed Hobbes the MTM.
Hobbes took it, and studied the hologram.
It showed a 3-D picture of the rock in front of them.
As he studied it, his eyes grew wide.
The rock had a large hole in it.
"Oh." Hobbes said.
Calvin took the MTM, set it on laser mode, and prepared to blast a hole into the rock.
ZEEEEAP!
A red light shot out of the tip of the MTM, and blasted into the rock.
Rocks flew everywhere, as Calvin dug deeper into it.
Finally, the laser broke through the rock, and entered the cave.
"SCORE!" Calvin screamed.
He shut off the MTM, and began to dig with his hands.
Hobbes stood on the side, with his hands behind his back.
Calvin turned a glare onto Hobbes.
"Aren't you going to help?" He demanded.
"No." Hobbes said. "The dirt makes my paws brown. Besides, there might be spiders in there."
Calvin rolled his eyes, and continued digging.
He paused for a moment, and noticed that his hands were covered with dirt.
Plus, there was a great big spider on one of the rocks.
How on Earth did Hobbes...
Never mind.
Calvin dusted his hands together, blew the spider away, and continued digging.
Finally, he had a hole large enough to climb through.
He forced Hobbes to go in first.
Calvin had to deal with moaning, groaning, and wailing, but somehow, Calvin shoved him into the cave.
Calvin went in next.
After Calvin climbed in, he dusted himself off, and put his MTM into his backpack.
Mom and Dad were sitting in the small room in the cave.
They had been in there for hours, and they weren't happy about it.
Let me rephrase that.
Mom wasn't happy about it. Dad was overcome with joy.
Why?
Because he thought that this cave could be a good place to camp next year.
Yes, you read that last sentence right.
Calvin and Hobbes began going through the cave.
"I wonder why Mom and Dad went in here." Calvin said, turning the MTM's flashlight to LOW.
Several spiders scurried away as the light spewed out of the MTM.
"OK, now where are they?" Calvin asked himself, looking around in all directions.
They walked for a while, and then they came to a fork in the road, so to speak.
Calvin and Hobbes' eyes went down one tunnel to the other.
There was a moment of silence.
"Shall we split up?" Calvin suggested.
"No." Hobbes said. "We use your stupid CD player!"
Calvin's eyes blanked out.
"Oh yeah. Almost forgot about that."
Calvin pushed a button on the MTM.
A hologram shot out, and came up in front of them.
A holographic green arrow pointed down the left tunnel.
"There ya go!" Calvin yelled, rushing down the tunnel.
Hobbes followed.
Calvin and Hobbes ran for three minutes.
They finally had to stop and rest.
Calvin wiped sweat from his brow, and panted.
Suddenly, the MTM went dead, and Calvin and Hobbes were plunged into darkness.
"What just happened?" Hobbes asked.
"We must be going deeper into the ground." Calvin gasped. "I recently updated the MTM, and it's solar powered, now."
"CALVIN'S THE STUPIDEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!" Hobbes screamed. "WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO USE IT AT NIGHT! OR INSIDE A DARK CAVE!"
"Good point." Calvin considered. "Very well, I'll switch it back to rechargeable battery powered when we get out of the cave."
Hobbes eyes slammed shut.
"MOM! DAD!" Calvin called. "WHERE ARE YOU!"
Calvin turned the LCD light on his digital watch on, and checked the time.
"I'VE MISSED GARFIELD AND FRIENDS, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!"
At that very moment, Calvin heard voices. And it wasn't his echo.
Mom came running down th tunnel towards Calvin.
"CALVIN!" She screamed. "THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE! How did you get through the rock slide?"
"I used my MTM to blast a hole into it, of course." Calvin said.
Mom stared at him.
"Never mind. Dear! Calvin's here!"
Dad came walking up.
"Hey, Calvin! Neat cave isn't it?"
Calvin's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.
"ALRIGHT, MR FATHER NATURE! I DEMAND THAT YOU GET ME OUT OF THIS TORTURE DEATH TRAP YOU CALL A VACATION!"
Dad glared at him.
"Don't talk to your father like that, Calvin." He said.
"I DEMAND A LAWYER!"
"Dear, would you step in here, please?" Dad asked.
"Sorry, I agree with him." Mom said.
Dad's eyes closed.
After they had exited the cave, Dad had agreed to take the family home.
He got the canoe ready, packed everything up, ignoring Calvin's suggestions to just put it all in the Hypercube, and they piled into the canoe.
"Gee," Dad said, as he began rowing. "Do you think it will be a culture shock to get back into civilization so abruptly?"
Mom, Calvin and Hobbes all stared at the strange creature in front of them.
"No." Calvin said. "Boy, I can't wait to get back to the car and crank up the old AC! ROW FASTER WOULD YA!"
"Calvin, this is as fast as I can go!" Mom said.
"Hey, I think I can see the car, now." Hobbes said.
"Hobbes says he can see the car now." Calvin said.
Guess what happened next.
Mom started rowing faster.
Dad glared at Calvin.
"One of these days I'm going to get my DNA tested." He muttered to himself.
The End
Voice work
Pamela Segall Aldon: Calvin
Tom Hanks: Hobbes
Bill Murray: Dad
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Mom
Dee Bradley Baker: Miscellaneous voice work
Coming up next: Tonsil Terror (Story idea by Garfieldodie)