Chapter 11 – Bunny Burn

"Hey, Hyde, how did things go last night with – Jackie? What are you doing here?" Kelso goggled at the sheet clad girl.

"Michael! Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" she scolded, reverting to the intimidating Jackie he had once dated to hide her embarrassment. But when there was sex involved, Kelso had the nose and tenacity of a bloodhound and he wasn't about to let go.

"Whoa! So Jackie was the hot number you were getting all noisy with last night. Way to go, man!"

"Yeah, sorry about the volume," Hyde replied. "But you know how loud Jackie can be when she's being endlessly pleasured."

"Actually, he doesn't," Jackie corrected, wiping the knowing leer off Kelso's face. "More to the point, what are you doing here, Michael? And where is here?"

"You don't know? You're at the Playboy Mansion – the happiest place on earth."

"The Playboy Mansion," Jackie mused. "Hmmm, well then I guess I might as well interview Tiffany and have some satisfaction from the last 12 hours."

"Hey!" Hyde objected.

"I'll just shower and get dressed and then you can introduce us, Michael," Jackie said, switching to her all-business manner.

"Wait a minute, sweetheart," Kelso said, holding his hand up in a stop sign. "This is the Playboy Mansion – the only women allowed on the premises are employees. You sashay up to Tiffany dressed like Lois Lane and you'll get booted out of here."

"What are you saying? I can't interview her?"

"Well, you can but you're going to have to go undercover. And I have just the outfit for you."

…………………………………………………………………..

"This is really pushing it, Michael," Jackie growled, straightening her rabbit ears.

"What? All the girls are wearing this," Kelso replied, running an appreciative eye over Jackie's outfit. Her perfectly toned body was encased in an aqua blue spandex swimsuit cut low at the top and high at the bottom so that it formed a V half-way over her butt cheeks in a manner made even more eye-catching by the white fluffy tail. At least she assumed it was the tail which was making Hyde and Kelso's eyes keep straying to that section of her anatomy and grinning in a way that made her want to clock them.

As she walked out ahead of the two men in her stiletto heels, Kelso whispered to Hyde, giggling uncontrollably "Dude, what did you do?"

"Things got kind of crazy last night," Hyde explained, his eyes riveted to his own name on Jackie's ass.

"I've gotta hand it to you, Hyde, you have some major cahonies pulling this burn after what happened with the unibrow."

Reference to the hail of expletives that had resulted from one of his finest burns made Hyde feel a moment of misgiving. "To be honest, I thought it would be gone when she came out of the shower. But it's not even faded. What kind of freaky pens do they use here?"

"Oh, Heff is into all kinds of latest gadgets. Sounds like you got a hold of one of his permanent marker pens. Guaranteed not to fade. Of course, it's never been tested on human skin before so no telling how long it'll last."

Their discussion was interrupted as they reached the pool area and Jackie commanded Kelso to point out Tiffany to her. Kelso waved to a shapely redhead who was flirting with an ageing celebrity in a bathrobe. Jackie strutted past a number of bikini clad centrefolds sunbathing and bunny girls who were serving drinks or flirting with the handful of male guests. She was too focused on her goal to notice the second glances that came her way as people caught her back view but if she had she would have put it down to her unparalleled beauty.

"Hello, Tiffany? I'm Jackie. I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment."

With a hair flick worthy of Farrah Fawcett Tiffany turned to Jackie. "Oh, are you a new girl?"

"Kind of." Jackie thought she might get more information if Tiffany thought she was a co-worker. "I'm an old friend of Michael Kelso who was telling me that – "

"Oh, you know Kelso? Does that mean you know Hyde as well? All the girls are wild to find out more about him."

"Hyde? Well, yeah, I know him. But what I wanted to ask you was – "

Tiffany scrutinized Jackie's blush. "How do you know him? Ohmigosh, are you the girl he brought home last night? You are, aren't you?"

"What? No! Our relationship is… is strictly professional."

"Maxine was telling us this morning that from the sounds coming from Mr Hyde's room, someone here had finally pulled the sword from the stone," Tiffany continued. "We were taking bets as to which one of us it was but it looks like he passed over the home cooking for some take-away."

Just then Miss January came up behind Jackie and drew some conclusions from what she read and heard. "Oh, so you're a professional? How did you guys meet? Were you a bunny at one of Heffner's clubs and he took a liking to you?"

Another bunny joined the growing knot of girls, but this bunny had gold ears, signifying her position of authority. "What is this I hear? A bunny transfer?" she asked in a British accent.

"She belongs to Mr Hyde, Miss Gabner," Miss January said, envy in her voice. She motioned to Jackie's backside.

"Oh, I see," the head bunny said with a frown. "I should warn you, Miss…?"

"Um… Pinciotti," Jackie improvised.

"Miss Pinciotti that we take our bunny responsibilities very seriously. One of those responsibilities is to be equally gracious to all Mr Heffner's guests and not become the servant of a particular one."

"I think there's been a misunderstanding," Jackie interrupted. "I am not Steven Hyde's bunny or servant. We're just acquaintances – a friend of a friend."

"Yet your bottom tells a different story," Miss Gabner said.

"What?"

"Property of Steven J. Hyde," read the head bunny. "Rather a grand advertisement for an acquaintance, don't you think, Miss Pinciotti?"

The blood drained from Jackie's face as she realised Steven's treachery. Her mind went blank as she tried to think of the words to extricate herself from her humiliation.

"Is there a problem here?" said the person she was currently picturing being stabbed to death Norman Bates style. She turned to find Hyde regarding her with a warm expression in his blue eyes which were unhidden by sunglasses. He pulled her numb body against him and whispered in her ear "Follow my lead".

"Well, Mr Hyde," Miss Gabner replied, slightly flustered. "I was just explaining to your… er… female that it is against the bunny code to be blatantly exclusive to just one patron, as the markings on her posterior suggests."

"About that. You see, Jackie and I have an unusual way of doing things. Most girls want diamond rings to show the world that they are promised to one man but my Jackie was so damn proud to be the future Mrs Steven Hyde that she asked me to put my brand on her body so that everybody would know just who she belongs to." (he squeezed Jackie's waist as if to emphasise the last two words).

"Oh," sighed the girls gathered around, swept away by the romance. They did not seem to notice how woodenly Jackie stood in Hyde's embrace.

"This is your fiance? But why is she dressed as a bunny?" Miss Gabner asked suspiciously.

"Why? Why you ask?" Hyde stalled. "Because… being a Playboy Bunny was always a dream of Jackie's. Isn't that right, baby?"

"Huh? Oh yes, being a mindless sex object and prancing around in painfully high heels before drooling perverts is just what I told my high school guidance counsellor I was aiming for," Jackie replied with a sugary smile.

"So, missing her sweet loving like I did, I smuggled my own private bunny in last night and then was unable to resist her pleas to be able to wear the sacred bunny costume and meet some real live Playboy girls. I believe she was just about to ask Tiffany here about some of her experiences when you charming ladies came along." Hyde fixed a blinding smile on Miss Gabner. "I would really appreciate it if you could allow my little cottontail to speak a few minutes with this young lady."

Miss Gabner fidgeted with her furry ears as she replied "Well, I don't see any harm in a few minutes conversation. Come, girls, we are neglecting our duties. Justine, Mr Barker's drink needs refreshing and Chloe, your thighs could be a shade more tanned. Back to work, people!"

"I'll leave you to it, toots," Hyde said, exiting with a light slap to Jackie's ass. She mentally added it to the tally of things to make him suffer for.

"So, Tiffany, I have heard you are the authority here on Dexter Tanner," Jackie opened. Setting aside her personal turmoil, Jackie expertly questioned Tiffany about the party of Dexter's she had been to. She was disappointed but not surprised when Tiffany told her the location of the party was not Dexter's house and that she had not seen any evidence of him handling drugs, although everybody knew he was the power behind it all. It seemed Dexter's plausible deniability was still intact. But her luck changed when she showed Tiffany a photo of Sharon.

"Yes, I remember seeing her," Tiffany said after thoroughly perusing the photo. "I remember because Dexter totally lost his cool when she showed up, which is very unusual for him. I was in the foyer on my way out, and she was just coming in. Dex's goons stopped her and called for the big man himself, and she was complaining to me about how her boyfriend keeps her under lock and key and never lets her meet any of his friends. Then Dex comes in and grabs her by the arm and leads her upstairs, reading her the riot act for daring to disobey him. Hey, I hope she's alright. Dex's old girlfriends have a way of falling through the cracks."

"I'm trying to make sure that doesn't happen to Sharon," Jackie replied.

"What's this about Sharon?" a familiar voice said from behind her.

"Nick," Jackie cried, practically shooting in the air. She turned around quickly, hoping he was not in reading distance.

"Jackie? Why are you dressed like that?" Nick asked with a quizzical look.