Summary: To Hobbes' terror and Socrates' delight, Calvin needs to get his tonsils removed. Calvin. In a hospital. YIKES!
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Swing123 and garfieldodie
Tonsil Terror
It was Thursday in the Calvin and Hobbes household.
Yes, I believe it was November.
Mom and Dad were sitting down to breakfast.
"CALVIN!" Mom shouted. "It's time to get up!"
No response, which was normal.
"CALVIN!" shouted Mom again. "Get down here!"
Still nothing.
"CALVIN, GET DOWN HERE! IT'S TIME FOR SCHOOL!"
Still no response.
Mom growled and stomped upstairs.
She kicked open Calvin's door and burst inside.
"CALVIN, GET UP! THE BUS WILL BE HERE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES!"
Calvin grabbed a pillow and tried hard to drift back to sleep.
"GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!" Mom hollered.
Hobbes was under the covers.
"Will you please humor her?" he whispered.
Calvin simply nodded.
Anything to get this crazy woman out of his bedroom.
Calvin slid out of bed and onto the floor…
…only to fall over onto his stomach.
"Get up and get dressed," Mom ordered.
She stomped downstairs and slammed the door.
Calvin held his head and groaned.
"I don't feel good," he moaned.
"Yeah, nice spin," muttered Hobbes. "Be sure to close the door when you leave, okay?"
Hobbes waited for Calvin to yell something in response.
He waited for a good five seconds.
Nothing happened.
Hobbes looked over at Calvin, who was still lying on the floor.
The poor kid was asleep again.
"Sigh," Hobbes said. "It's gonna be another one of those mornings, I see."
Hobbes got out of bed and helped Calvin up.
Then he yanked open a drawer on the dresser, and yanked Calvin's PJs off. After tossing them aside, he helped Calvin put on his classic red shirt, black pants, red socks, and purplish red shoes.
Actually, Hobbes pretty much did all the work.
Calvin was still drifting back to sleep.
Now, Calvin has been known to be sluggish in the morning, but give me a break!
Hobbes got behind Calvin and pushed him gently.
Calvin didn't really respond. He just stood there, almost lifeless.
Hobbes sighed and picked him up.
"You're a lousy actor, you know that?" he said.
Calvin didn't say anything.
Hobbes took him downstairs and placed him in a chair in the kitchen. Then he left and went back upstairs.
Mom and Dad were sitting there, not really watching.
Calvin reached over and grabbed a bowl. Then he grabbed the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and poured them.
However, because he was still in a daze, he poured them all over the place.
Dad looked up.
Then Calvin grabbed the milk and attempted to pour it in.
The milk poured and…missed the target completely.
Dad glared at him.
Calvin picked up the spoon and then he…
Well…
He just fell asleep in his cereal.
I guess that finally alerted his hawk-eyed parents.
"Calvin, what are you doing?" Dad demanded.
But Calvin just snored bubbles into the milk.
Dad went to grab his son's head.
But when he touched it, it was red hot.
"Oh my gosh, I think he's running a fever!" he gasped.
Mom rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right," she muttered. "He probably just put his head to a lamp before coming down."
Dad hoisted Calvin up and got a good look at him. He opened his mouth and…
"YUCK!" he exclaimed. "His throat is terrible!" he gasped.
Mom sighed.
"Look, if you're going to fall for that, then I'll look."
Mom grabbed Calvin's head and whipped it around. She opened his mouth and…
"UGGH!" she groaned.
"No way is he going to school," said Dad.
"I'll take him to the doctor right away," said Mom.
Calvin suddenly snapped awake.
"Don't worry about me!" he said. "I'll go to school! I'm off to catch the bus! Bye!"
Calvin jumped out of his chair, and the minute he landed, he fell on the floor.
"WHOOPEE!" he said.
Calvin sat in his doctor's clinic.
The doctor was standing before him with Mom at his side.
He had a tongue depressor in his hand.
"Say Ahh," said the doctor.
There was a little squeak the emitted from Calvin's mouth.
"I said, say Ah," said the doctor.
"Ah dud," said Calvin, that little tongue depressor in his mouth.
The doctor sighed as he took out the stick.
"Well, I'm afraid this is it. He's got tonsillitis," he said to Mom.
Mom gasped.
"Well, what do we do?"
The doctor thought.
"Well, we usually perform tonsillectomies on Saturdays, which is in about three days," he said at last. "You could leave him here for a few days, and then take him home on Sunday."
Mom nodded in agreement.
Calvin stared.
"You're gonna what?" he asked. "Wait, you're gonna leave me here in this horror picture? This place filled with sickos? Can't Mom or Dad stay with me?"
"I'm afraid not," said the doctor. "You see, we're going to operate on you."
"OPERATE!" Calvin hollered, nearly killing his voice. "Mom, stop this man! Quack! He's a quack! I'm outta here! See you on the road!"
Calvin leaped off the table, and tried to run away, but Mom caught him.
She put him back in the chair as the doctor spoke.
"Calm down," said the doctor. "I'll only cut two things in your throat."
Big help that was.
"TWO THINGS IN MY THROAT?" Calvin screeched. "You mean I'll never be able to talk again?"
The doctor sighed.
"Listen, Calvin, let me explain it to you. Your tonsils, which we're taking out, guard your throat. They have hand grenades, bazookas, and anything bad that comes into your mouth, they fight off. Now, in your case, your tonsils have lost the war. In fact, your tonsils have gone so far as to join the other side, and they'll kill you unless we cut them out."
"KILL ME!" Calvin shrieked, holding onto his head.
He paused, and absorbed all this knowledge.
"Is it gonna hurt?" he asked.
"No, of course not. We're going to apply anesthesia, and that's gonna put you out until we're done. And plus, listen, when you get your tonsils out, you get to have all the ice cream you can eat."
Calvin stared at him.
"R…really?" he asked.
"Really."
Calvin jumped onto a nearby gurney.
"Take me to the chop shop now!" he shouted. "You can take my whole neck for some ice cream!"
Mom brought Calvin back home so he could pack for the hospital.
Calvin exploded into his room where Hobbes was reading a comic book.
"HOBBES! GUESS WHAT!"
"You're going to Mercury?" asked Hobbes without looking up.
"I'm getting my tonsils removed!"
Hobbes looked up in confusion.
"Huh?"
"Yeah, I have tonsillitis, so I get to go to the hospital and stay there for three nights! And after my surgery, I get free ice cream!"
"Hmm, that sounds like quite a deal," said Hobbes, now seeming quite interested.
Calvin ran into the closet and got his bottomless duffel bag.
He jammed it full with comic books and snacks, as well as other various things.
"Come on, Hobbes. We're going to the hospital."
But Hobbes wouldn't budge.
"You can go to the Needle Town if you want, but I'm staying here."
Calvin stared.
"What are you talking about?"
"Calvin, what we have here is a once in a lifetime opportunity of which I refuse to reject," Hobbes said.
"Which would be…?" Calvin asked.
"Me getting the house to myself for three days! I'm going to get the bed to myself, and the food, and the comic books…"
"All right, fine! See if I care! I'll keep all the ice cream for myself come Sunday. I'm getting those tonsils removed this Saturday, so I shan't keep them waiting."
And he walked downstairs.
Hobbes watched him enter the car, and Mom drove off with him for the hospital.
Hobbes glanced at the bedroom.
It was empty.
No one around.
Vacant.
Unfilled.
In other words, he was alone.
A devious grin formed around his lips.
"Oh……boy," he whispered.
Socrates was napping his room in the mansion across town.
It had orange wallpaper with black dots, and it was littered with comic books and covered in posters.
Socrates was on his bed, snoring his life away.
Suddenly, the phone rang, waking him up.
"TWO PICKLES ATE A CHEESE SANDWICH IN FRANCE!" he screamed.
His head shot around the room and he mumbled something as he grabbed the phone.
Yes, Socrates has his own phone.
Don't ask why.
"Yo," he said. "You've reached the Socrates Mansion. How may I prank you?"
"Hey, Socrates," said Hobbes.
"Hobbo!" Socrates said. "Why hast thou graced me with this call?"
"Just called to say that Calvin's getting his tonsils out," he said.
"Oh really? How nice," said Socrates.
"But that's not the best part."
"How is that humanly possible?"
"Simple: Calvin is going to be gone for four days," Hobbes said, emphasizing the words "four" and "days".
It took Socrates a moment to put two and two together.
Then his eyes grew wide.
"Party?" he asked.
"Party," Hobbes replied.
The stereo was blaring Jason Mraz's Wordplay as Hobbes and Socrates partied till the twelfth of never.
"This is wonderful!" cried Hobbes. "This entire house is mine! For four days, this is Hobbes Land!"
"I'm so happy for you," said Socrates, who watching Captain Napalm on TV.
Hobbes continued to stare at the house.
"It's beautiful! IT'S ALL MINE! ALL THIS STUFF IS MINE! THAT'S MINE, THIS IS MINE, IT'S ALL MINE! I HAVE COMPLETE POWER! IT'S ALL MINE!"
Hobbes' arms were outstretched and he was in a complete state of ecstasy.
Socrates was staring at him with a look of confusion.
Hobbes grinned at him.
"Hey, come on. Admit it. You always wanted your own room."
Socrates arched an eyebrow.
"At least you did before your owner won the lottery."
Socrates chuckled and watched television.
"True, true," he said.
Hobbes walked into the kitchen and grabbed a big bowl of tuna fish.
While he was there, he found a box of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.
He got a devious grin.
"Oh, Socrates!" he called.
Socrates approached him.
"Whatup?"
"This is Calvin's cereal. I think we should do something fitting it with it," Hobbes said.
Socrates grinned evilly.
"You are so right, Hobbes," he said.
Socrates grabbed the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs and then hurled them up the chimney.
Ash and soot fell everywhere.
Bits of cereal rattled down the chimney.
Then Hobbes lit it on fire.
"Nice job with the cereal," he said. "They make a lovely fire."
"Indeed."
Then Hobbes got another idea.
"You know, Calvin doesn't enjoy us drawing mustaches on his comic books," he said.
"Way ahead of ya."
Once in the bedroom, Hobbes and Socrates were drawing mustaches all over Captain Maim, Captain Napalm, Amazon Woman and several others.
Next they ate all the tuna, wore out some of Calvin's inventions (except the MTM because Calvin always had it), bounced on the beds, wrestled all over the place, and then caused a fifty Hot Wheels pileup on the stairs.
Finally, it was time for bed, and Socrates went home.
Hobbes dove into bed, looking forward to a long day tomorrow.
Little did Hobbes know that there was a part of him deep down that missed a certain spiky-headed six-year-old. He just didn't know it yet, but sometime in those four days, he would…
Mom pulled into the drive for the hospital.
She parked it, and got out.
Calvin followed.
He and Mom went into the building, and up to the desk.
"We're here for the tonsillectomy." Mom said.
The lady at the desk typed several things into her keyboard, gave Mom several orders that Calvin didn't listen to, and Mom kissed Calvin goodbye.
Calvin watched Mom leave.
Then, the lady at the desk tapped him on the shoulder.
"Si'?" Calvin asked, turning around.
"Would you like me to escort you to your room?" The lady asked.
"When do I get my ice creme?"
"Later. Come on."
The woman lead Calvin down a hallway, her footsteps made echos in the empty room.
Calvin was shocked.
"What!" he yelled. "This isn't right! You're suppose to strap me to a table, hang those liquid things above it, and rush me into the ER, before doing the disgusting surgery that no one but a doctor could stand to look at! What kind of hospital is this!"
The nurse rolled her eyes, and didn't answer.
She lead Calvin into a room with red wallpaper, and a bed with white sheets on it.
Calvin leaped into the bed.
"I get this whole place to myself for three days!"
"Yes." The nurse said.
And with that, she left the room.
Calvin started jumping on the bed.
Soon, though, he ran out of energy, pulled the covers over his head, and fell asleep.
I'm not kidding, the kid actually went to bed without complaining!
Those tonsils must have really been bothering him.
Three days went by.
Hobbes rolled over in bed.
He slowly opened his eyes, and yawned.
He got up, stretched all four legs, and looked around.
The clock said six fifteen AM.
Plus, Calvin was nowhere in sight.
That wasn't big news, but since he was still asleep, Hobbes started to panic.
"CALVIN! CALVIN WHERE ARE YOU!"
Then the events of last night came rushing back to him.
"Oh. You're not here."
No answer.
Hobbes yawned, and scratched his cheek.
Then he walked down the stairs towards the livingroom.
He walked out the door, and into the front yard.
Somehow, the day didn't seem complete without Calvin's constant complaining about meaningless things.
Hobbes looked around the semi-dark world in front of him.
He decided to go over to Socrates' house to discuss tiger things with him.
He walked down the street for a couple of blocks, until he came to the huge three story mansion that Socrates lived in.
He walked up to the door, and knocked three times, paused, knocked two more times, paused, knocked four times, paused, and rang the doorbell.
Socrates opened the door.
"Password accepted. Come on in." He grinned.
Hobbes came into the room house with Socrates.
"My owner's at school, so we have the whole place to ourselves!" He grinned, rubbing his hands together.
Hobbes stared at him.
"Socrates, it's six in the morning, and you're wide awake?" He asked. "When did you get up?"
"Three in the morning." Socrates said, slamming the door.
"Why did your owner leave for school?" Hobbes asked.
"He likes to get there early." Socrates said.
"Two hours early?" Hobbes asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.
"Yes, two hours early. He tried to get there three hours early, but his Mom wouldn't let him."
"Why does he like getting there, so early?" Hobbes asked, as they climbed the stairs.
"Don't ask me. I just live here." Socrates paused at the first step. "Hey! I'll race you to my room! I'll take the elevator, you take the stairs!"
"Socrates, stairs are much faster than the elevator." Hobbes said.
"Race ya!" Socrates yelled, zooming towards the elevator.
"Oh very well." He muttered.
Hobbes stood at the bottom of the stairs, and Socrates stood at the elevator door.
When the elevator came, Socrates said, "on your mark, get set, PEANUTS!"
Hobbes glared at him.
"Oh fine. Go."
ZOOM!
Suddenly, there was a rush of orange, and a loud gust of wind, and Hobbes suddenly vanished.
Socrates leaped onto the elevator, pushed TOP FLOOR, and the elevator started upward.
Hobbes zoomed upward until he reached the top floor, then, before the elevator opened, He burst into Socrates' room.
Socrates was already there.
And no, I don't know how he did it.
Hobbes panted, and glared at Socrates.
"How did you get up here, so fast!" he demanded.
Socrates looked around.
"I have a super fast elevator." He said, finally.
Hobbes sighed, and shook his head.
"So how do you think Calvin's doing at the hospital?" Hobbes asked a little later.
"I dunno." Socrates shrugged, "Maybe he died."
Hobbes glared at him.
"Don't be ridiculous!" He yelled. "Of course he didn't die!"
Socrates grinned darkly.
"Really?" He asked. "How can you be so sure?"
Hobbes stared at him.
"What are you saying?" He asked.
"Well once I knew ths guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin who knew this guy who went into a tonsillectomy, and died a horrible death."
"Why, what happened to him?"
Socrates admired his claws as he spoke.
"Oh, the quacks at the hospital accidently cut out his... well, something that wasn't his tonsils, let us say."
Hobbes eyes bulged.
"WHAT!" He screamed.
"Oh sure, happens all the time." Socrates said.
Hobbes leaped to his feet.
"We have to go save Calvin!"
"I thought you'd never ask!" Socrates grinned, leaping up. "I'll come! They give out free ice creme over there!"
Hobbes raced out of the room, Socrates was right behind him.
Meanwhile, Calvin had woke up, and he was already beginning to get bored.
And you know what happens when Calvin gets bored.
Calvin jumped out of bed, and started pacing around the room.
Ho hum.
Calvin started looking around for some form of entertainment.
He exited his room, and started looking down the long halls.
The amazing Spaceman Spiff investigates the giant alien space ship. He thought, cutting his eyes from side to side. Our amazing space cadet begins his daring escape!
Calvin began tiptoing down the hall.
He came to a laundry basket half way down it.
He studied it, then heard footsteps coming down the hall.
He leaped inside, and covered himself in dirty clothes.
Our hero hides himself as an alien approaches his location!
The nurse that lead Calvin to his room rounded the corner, picked up the clothes basket, and carried it off, grunting and asking why was it so heavy.
Calvin peeked out from behind a shirt, and saw that he was being carried towards the laundry chute.
Whoops.
Calvin cut his eyes from side to side, and tried to...
Too late.
The nurse dumped Calvin and the clothes into the chute, and walked away.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Calvin screamed, tumbling down the tunnel, and finally landing in the basket with the other clothes.
He looked up, and cut his eyes from side to side.
Our fearless hero is inside a strange alien dungeon!
Suddenly, a sharp explosion of pain stabbed Calvin's throat.
Calvin gritted his teeth, and grabbed his neck.
Our hero has been infected with a terrible alien disease! Spiff must find an antidote, before it's too late!
Calvin considered going back to his room, and taking another nap.
He decided not to.
Heh.
What can you expect?
Hobbes and Socrates were running down the sidewalk towards the town.
Hobbes was pumping his arms, and Socrates was grinning.
"I wonder what kind of ice creme they'll have." He wondered out loud. "I'm not to big a fan of chocolate, but on the other hand, strawberry pretty good. I wonder if they have any caramel flavored ice creme. I must say, that's my favorite flavor next to Cookies 'n' Creme."
Hobbes was trying to ignore him while trying to remember where the hospital was.
Hobbes and Socrates rushed down Main Street, and entered the city they lived next to.
Hobbes looked around in all directions, then spotted a sign that said, HOSPITAL: THAT WAY.
They continued running down the street, with Socrates still talking about ice creme.
The doctor walked down the hall, looking down at his pad.
"Calvin and his tonsillectomy are due." he said.
He walked down the hall towards Calvin's room.
He opened the door, and peeked inside.
Calvin was nowhere in sight.
The doctor's eyes slammed shut.
"I hate it when they do this." He muttered, closing the door.
Calvin was wandering around the hospital. He had a big grin on his face, and he was looking around for something to entertain himself.
The woman at the desk looked up, and saw Calvin tiptoeing around the room.
"Hey!" She yelled. "You're supposed to be in surgery!"
Calvin's head shot up.
"GREAT MOONS OF NEPTUNE!" He screamed. "THE ALIENS HAVE SPOTTED OUR FEARLESS SPACE HERO! THEY'RE ATTEMPTING TO HAUL HIM OFF TO NECK SURGERY!"
Calvin started screaming his head off, then rushed off, despite the pain in his throat.
The woman hit a buzzer on the desk, glaring at Calvin.
Calvin rushed down the hall, screaming his head off, making several senors look out their doors, and stare after him.
Several doctors came towards Calvin.
Calvin screeched to a stop in front of one of them, still screaming his head off, spun around, and ran off in the other direction.
Then, one of the doctors leaned out of a door, and grabbed Calvin.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Calvin screamed. "THEY HAVE ME! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!"
The doctor hauled the screaming Calvin away, grumbling to himself.
Finally, after much running, and discussions on ice creme, Socrates and Hobbes reached the giant front doors to the hospital.
Hobbes turned to Socrates.
"Where do you suppose they have Calvin?" He asked.
Socrates thought for a moment.
"He might be in the ER, but I doubt it. We might check the surgery room."
"That's what the ER is, isn't it?" Hobbes asked.
"No, I think the ER is the place you take them to, instantly after the arrival."
"OK, then, let's go look for the surgery room." Hobbes said, bursting through the doors.
Socrates followed, and resumed his discussion on ice creme.
Meanwhile, the doctors had Calvin strapped down on a table, and he was screaming as if they were doing the surgery without the anesthetic.
The doctors were all standing over him, with kleenexs shoved in their ears, and they were staring at Calvin wondering how a kid with such horrible tonsillitis could scream so loud and so long.
Finally, they reached the drug, and somehow got it down Calvin's throat.
That was something to see.
Instead of becoming silent, and going to sleep, he dramatized it.
Slowly his screaming became quieter.
"GACK!" He gasped, reaching for the doctors. "The aliens have injected a deadly sedative into Spiff's bloodstream!"
He grabbed his throat, and let his tongue fall out.
"Our hero, is becoming sleepy! Spiff must fight the darkness!"
The doctors all stared at him.
"Now he's starting to make me feel guilty." Said the doctor that put the pill in his mouth.
Suddenly, Calvin swooned, and let out a "GACK!".
His final words before the surgery was, "I can now reveal that you've fallen right into my... GASP... clever trap!"
And with that, he fell asleep.
"I hate this job." The doctor muttered.
Socrates and Hobbes began searching the building for Calvin.
They were surprised at what they heard; nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
No screaming. No demands for a lawyer. No complaints. No screams that he was dying, or that he was bleeding at an unstoppable rate.
And when you know that Calvin is in the building somewhere, that's a weird thought.
"Something is wrong here," said Hobbes nervously. "Gravely wrong!"
"I hear ya," agreed Socrates. "Where's the ice cream?"
Hobbes glared at him.
Then Hobbes spotted the front desk.
The lady wasn't there.
"Maybe I can find something out over there," he suggested.
Hobbes and Socrates snuck behind the desk and started searching through drawers and boxes.
"What are we looking for exactly?" asked Socrates.
"Any kind of clue as to where Calvin is," said Hobbes.
Socrates pulled out a drawer went through a small notebook.
"The nurse is having trouble with her boyfriend, and the doctor is going to switch to a metal seven-wood," he read.
"NOT HELPFUL!" Hobbes shouted.
"Sorry."
They dug around some more.
Finally, Hobbes found a clipboard, and after flipping through some papers, he finally found some answers.
"Okay, he's in Room 7B," he said. "It's on the third floor."
"Very well," said Socrates. "Onward to the ice cream!"
Hobbes glared angrily at Socrates.
"Oh…and Calvin too."
Hobbes and Socrates dove into the elevator, which was empty.
Hobbes pressed the button marked "3".
There was a wait as the elevator started to move up.
"I've been thinking," said Hobbes. "Do tigers go to heaven we they die?"
Socrates stared at him.
"When they what?" he asked.
"When they die."
Socrates' mouth hung open.
"I didn't know we die!"
Hobbes sighed.
There was finally a faint DING!
"When fish die, do they go to heaven?" Hobbes asked.
"Not if they've been a bad fish," Socrates replied.
Hobbes and Socrates ran down the hall towards the doors that were marked 7 until they reached 7B.
Hobbes yanked the door open and…
Nothing.
Hobbes feared the worst had happened by now.
"Oh no," he muttered.
Socrates glanced at the door and saw another clipboard.
"Huh," he said. "According to this, he's in surgery right now."
Hobbes gasped.
"We're running out of time!" he shouted. "Maybe we can stop them before—"
Socrates pushed down onto the bed.
"Okay, okay, calm down," he said. "Look, why don't we just sit here and relax. I mean, after all, it was just one guy that died in a tonsillectomy. Maybe Calvin will luck out."
Hobbes looked a little better.
"You think so?"
"Sure! Now then, let's just relax and listen to the radio."
Hobbes lay down on the bed and Socrates turned on the radio.
Music poured out.
"So long old friend… I wish that I could see you once again… I never knew the time would come when I'd be losing you…"
Hobbes felt tears well up in his eyes.
Socrates quickly changed the station.
"Yesterday…all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe…in yesterday."
Socrates tried again.
"I lie awake tonight and I watch the sky…and I wish it didn't have to be so high…cause I'm belonging on the other side…and I'm missin' you…"
Socrates yanked the radio out and smashed it.
"You know, radio is highly overrated anyway," he said quickly.
"WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" wailed Hobbes.
Socrates groaned and looked away.
Meanwhile, surgery had been completed.
Calvin was lying on the table, still strapped down, and drooling slightly.
"Kid?" said one of the doctors. "It's time to wake up."
Calvin coughed slightly and groaned, but his eyes didn't open.
"Is it time to wake up?" he asked quietly.
Yeesh. His voice sounded like he had sandpaper in his throat.
"Yes, it is," said the doctor. "Now try opening your eyes."
"Nope. Don't want to."
"How come?"
"Well, because every time I open my eyes, the room starts to act silly. Goin' around and round in circles, and a-jumpin' up and down, and I don't wanna."
Looks like the sedatives weren't quite out yet.
"I'll just stay asleep like this, and I'll await heaven's sleep, and then just hum a little ditty," Calvin went on.
Any of this reminding you of a certain bunch of aliens?
"How does your mouth feel?" asked the doctor.
"Dry."
"And your lips?"
"Dry."
Now get this.
Calvin started, very quietly, to sing.
"And the tongue is dry, and the lips are dry, and the mouth is dry, and the throat is dry, and everything is dry, dry, dry, dry, dry."
Oy.
"Do you want to swallow?" ask the doctor.
"Yes."
"Why don't you?"
"Nobody asked me."
"Well, go ahead and try."
"Okay."
GULP!
What happened next shook the whole hospital.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Calvin shrieked.
And then it hurt twice as much because of that scream.
But it was so loud that Hobbes and Socrates heard it.
"CALVIN!" shouted Hobbes. "Come on!"
Hobbes and Socrates exploded from the bedroom and ran through several halls until they came to a room that overlooked the surgery room. It had lots of chairs.
Almost like a movie theater.
Hobbes and Socrates ran to the window overlooking surgery.
They could see several doctors swarming around Calvin.
"Calvin!" Hobbes shouted, banging on the glass. "It's me! Hobbes! Up here! Look up here!"
"Hey, Calvin!" Socrates yelled. "Over here at yonder window! Can I have your ice cream?"
Hobbes smacked Socrates and knocked him to the ground.
Then he resumed panicking.
"CALVIN! LISTEN! IT'S ME! HOBBES! I'M SORRY FOR PUTTING DOWN YOUR INVENTIONS! I'M SORRY I DEMEANED HUMANS! THEY'RE ACTUALLY QUITE ADORABLE FROM A DISTANCE! CALVIN!"
Calvin didn't say anything.
Hobbes felt tears coming back and was about to break down sobbing.
Socrates rubbed his nose and got up.
"One more stunt like that, and you're gonna wake up with pie on your face," he said.
Hobbes ignored him and sat in a chair.
Socrates sighed and glanced at the lifeless Calvin lying on the table.
And although he'd never admit it, he felt like crying himself.
But then he saw something happen down there.
Calvin's hand twitched.
Socrates' eyes shot open.
"What the…?"
Hobbes looked out the window and saw…
"HE'S ALIVE!" he cheered. "WHOOPEE!"
They loaded Calvin's barely conscious body onto a gurney, and they carted him away.
Hobbes and Socrates hurried after them.
Calvin's eyes drifted open.
His throat didn't feel much different.
However, he did see Hobbes and Socrates sitting in front of him.
In a small, raspy voice, Calvin said, "Hobbes?"
Hobbes looked up. "Heaven's above, he is awake!" he said excitedly.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," said Socrates, who was thumbing through a magazine.
"What're you doing here?" Calvin asked. "And why's he here?"
Socrates growled.
"You're lucky you just had surgery," he muttered.
"We were lonely, so we came down to visit," said Hobbes.
It was a complete lie, of course, but Hobbes had an image to maintain.
"Well, I'm touched," said Calvin.
Socrates leaned in.
"So, how was the tonsillectomy?" he asked.
"I can barely swallow," Calvin moaned.
"Awww, poor baby," Socrates cooed. "May I have your ice cream?"
Calvin looked up.
"Oh! I nearly forgot about the ice cream!" he said. "I wonder when it gets here."
Just then, the door opened.
The nurse came in.
"Okay, Calvin. It's time for ice cream. Are you ready?"
"Do birds fly?"
Ho hum.
The nurse set down a big bowl of Cookies 'n' Cream and left.
Calvin picked up a spoon and tried to eat it.
It slid down real slow.
"Yeesh," he said, shivering. "Why's this the recommended method for lack of tonsils?"
"Who cares?" asked Socrates, grabbing another spoon. "It's ice cream."
Then Hobbes picked up the new radio (replacing the one Socrates broke) and turned it on.
"Now we're together again! No need to be lonely! Together again! My one and only! Together again, my friend. Just you and me!"
And the three of them sat back, ate ice cream, watched television, played with the moving bed, and stayed there until Calvin was back to his loud and snappy self again.
Hobbes was glad he was back to normal.
And although he'd never admit it, so was Socrates.
As for his parents, well, that's another story…
The End
Voice Work:
Pamela Segall Aldon: Calvin/Spaceman Spiff
Tom Hanks: Hobbes
Ryan Stiles: Socrates
Bill Murray: Dad/Doctor 1
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Mom/Nurse 1
Daveigh Chase: Lady Behind the Desk/Nurse 2
George Clooney: Calvin's Doctor / Doctor 2
So Long, Old Friend & Now We're Together Again can both be found in HERE COMES GARFIELD TV special. Yesterday was written by the Beatles, & Missin' You was written by Chris Rice.
Coming up Next: The Yellowstone Monster (Double length story)