Jackie had never had a very high opinion of the male gender – well, her first boyfriend, Michael Kelso, was not a very good ambassador of his kind and the other three male peers she had shared her adolescence with had never been models of gentlemanly behaviour, at least towards her. Now as she looked across the diner table at her current boyfriend and his predecessor, she was reflecting that when God had created Eve out of Adam he should have stuck with the woman and thrown the faulty prototype away.
Take Nick, for example. In the last two months getting his attention had become Mission Impossible, he was so preoccupied with Sharon. She had been the understanding girlfriend when she had thought of Sharon as just Nick's best friend, but Hyde's comments were shedding a new light on his motives. Now that she thought about it, she and Sharon were quite similar – more than one stranger had assumed they were sisters. Surely it was unusual for a man to be able to sleep with a highly attractive female like herself and just – sleep? Hell, if she was lying next to a guy who had lost his family in the Nazi holocaust, he would still be all over her.
And then there was Steven – the zenmaster. Always his goal was to hide his emotions, to show the world how indifferent he was to every good and bad thing that came his way. Once she had thought she knew him better than anyone else, that she could see into his heart. Then he had hit her with a triple whammy – first the "I don't know" when she asked if he saw a future with her, then his passed-out drunk reaction to the prospect of marrying her, and finally there was Sam. That he could replace her so quickly, give to a trashy stranger the promise he had withheld so long from her, had convinced her that he could never have truly loved her, that she was no more special to him than every other sexually convenient woman he had slept with. It was her anger with Steven that had been the catalyst for her new life, enabling her to shut down all memories of what it had been like to be with him. Trust Steven to come back into her life just when she was finally getting over him and reawaken old feelings, not to mention old habits (every step she walked reminded her of what they did last night).
Man, she looks so gorgeous, glaring at me across the breakfast table, Hyde thought to himself. This is how it's supposed to be – me and Jackie having breakfast together after a long night of sex and having her totally pissed off at me. Not that I don't deserve it, I guess. Still, better to have her mad at me than all distant, like I don't count for anything with her anymore. Now, if Clark Kent here would just take a hint and know when he's not wanted, we could really make some progress.
Nick's opening line revealed what was on his mind. "Right, what's the new plan for Operation Free Sharon?"
Jackie shot him an annoyed glance. "Yes, your good friend Sharon. God forbid we should order breakfast first. Does the new plan involve a hunger strike until she's released?" Nick looked at Jackie with such wounded surprise she immediately felt guilty.
"Excuse me, Jackie, if the impending execution of my lifelong friend drove out of my mind your addiction to eggs and bacon."
"I didn't mean it like that," Jackie defended herself. "It's just that – I mean, you never even asked me exactly what happened last night, or why I was dressed like a Playboy bunny or even how come my ex-boyfriend is suddenly my new shadow. Don't you have any concern for me? I am your girlfriend, aren't I?"
"Yes, your behaviour does suggest a certain lack of interest in Jackie," Hyde agreed, enjoying himself.
"Alright, fine, I'm sorry for not being the perfect boyfriend. So go ahead and tell me, what did happen last night? And what exactly did Hyde have to do with it?"
"Would you like me to field this one, Jackie?" Hyde asked.
"NO," she yelled. "Nothing happened – Steven got me away from that party and took me back to his place to sleep off the drugs."
"Good, now that we've established that nothing happened, can we please get back to the business at hand." Nick reached over to Jackie's purse and pulled out her tape recorder. "Maybe there's something on here that will give us a clue on where Tanner is vulnerable. You had it taping last night, didn't you?"
"Yes," Jackie said, trying to remember uneasily exactly when she had stopped recording. As Nick rewound the tape, she suddenly had a sickening realisation that the tape had played out to its end. "No need to play it, Dex never said anything we could use last night." Jackie reached for her tape recorder but Nick held it away.
"If you were drugged you wouldn't remember him saying anything important but it could be on here," Nick replied and to Jackie's horror and Hyde's delight he pressed the "Play" button. Heavy panting sounds coming from two sets of strained lungs could be heard from the recorder. "What's happening here? Were you two running away from Tanner?"
"Exactly," Jackie agreed, cheeks flushed. "The part with Dex is at the beginning of the tape – here, give it to me, I'll show you."
"No, wait" Hyde interjected. "I remember what comes next – you don't want to miss the best part, Nick."
I am going to kill him, Jackie silently raged. I'll take this knife and fork and cut him into bite-sized pieces.
"Oh, Steven," Jackie's voice strained through the machine. "Oh, Steven, please don't stop," it moaned. Nick looked at his girlfriend in disbelief. "Hang in there, Jackie, wait for me," panted Steven's voice in reply. "God, you're so tight." Nick dropped the tape recorder like it had bitten him.
"What the Hell?" he breathed in disbelief. "Jackie? Care to amend your "Nothing Happened" statement?" Jackie lapsed into a red-faced silence. "Oh my God, he didn't write on you when you were sunbathing, did he?"
"Whoa, that keen reporter instinct of yours is spooky, man," Hyde murmured sarcastically.
"Shut your face, you grass-cutting slimeball," Nick snarled. "I don't believe this. I would never – I mean, Jackie, you don't even like this guy! Ever since I met you you've bitched to me about what a bastard he is."
"Nice to know I was always in your thoughts," Hyde remarked to Jackie.
"Nick, I – " Jackie began.
Here it comes, Hyde thought ruefully. She's gonna tell him that I took advantage of her when she was on sex drugs. Ah well, I've been looking for an excuse to throw a punch at this guy for months.
"I'm – sorry," Jackie finished lamely. Hyde regarded Jackie with surprise. Nick's face was stony as he stared at Jackie's downcast face, and then pushed himself away from the table.
"No, I'm sorry," he said angrily. "I obviously misjudged your character."
"Nick, don't go – what about Sharon?" Jackie cried.
"I'll take care of Sharon," Nick answered, walking away. "Stay out of it. I don't want anything to do with you."
"Oh God," Jackie moaned, as her head collapsed into her hands. "What have I done?"