Chapter 20

I came awake slowly, groaning softly as my mind registered the fact that the vehicle wasn't moving and all was quiet. Too quiet.

I jerked myself to a sitting position nearly conking my head on the metal roof as I looked around and realized that I was alone.

Terror grabbed a hold of me with an iron fist, snatching my breath away completely.

Oh, shit – no – where were they?

I think I was about six seconds away from a full-blown panic attack, unable to move and my brain threatening to lock up at the thought that Perry had found us and snatched the girls as I lay sleeping. With that thought came pure, unadulterated guilt that galvanized me into action and before I could think any further, I practically threw myself over the seat and fumbled with the handle, trying to get out the back door.

It wouldn't open.

(Shit – what the fuck –?) Frantically I jerked at the handle, nearly breaking it in the process, cursing and sweating before I realized the door was locked.

Just as I reached for the knob, I heard the opposite door open. With a startled shout, I whirled around, fumbling for my gun and found myself face to face with Linda and a large bag.

For a second, neither of us moved, staring at each other, eyes wide, mouths gaping open.

She was all right. I saw DeeDee behind her with Olivia. They were all right. Perry hadn't found us. They were all right. They're okay.

I just kept mentally reassuring myself, unable to speak, my lungs working desperately to get replacement oxygen flowing, gasping like I'd been under water for too long.

Linda found her voice first. "Rick, you're finally up – " she laid a bag down and reached over for another. Apparently she was going to play dumb about what I had just gone through and hope I'd blow it off since they were back.

(Not in this lifetime,) I told myself, as I narrowed my eyes. "What the FUCK did you think you were doing!" I shouted, my terror of just moments ago morphing into blind rage.

Linda jumped back as if she'd been shot. Her face went completely blank. "Rick – we – "

"Are you out of your mind!" I roared furiously. "We've got a fucking murderer out there somewhere and you just decide it would be okay to stop for a damn shopping spree!" I was jumping into a full rant without hesitation.

I watched Linda scramble mentally to get her feet back under her. "You wouldn't wake up." She snapped at me, keeping her voice low, which only served to infuriate me more.

"Then you should have tried harder!" I yelled as I slammed both hands down on the seat in front of me.

"Look," she said in a patronizing voice, acting like I was a child in the middle of a temper tantrum. "I took the gun with me, it's not like we were completely unprotected. And we were only in there twenty minutes." She continued to try and defend her actions, eyeing me defiantly and the absurdity of her response only served to make me angrier. (Temper tantrum – I'd show her a temper tantrum), I promised myself.

"Jesus Christ! You've never even shot a gun and you certainly don't have a permit to carry one – so don't tell me everything was under control! If Perry had showed up – you'd be dead! Gun or no gun – you'd all be dead! Do you realize that?" My hands went to my face, rubbing at the ache that had returned with a vengeance because I sure as hell knew.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw DeeDee pull Linda back and hand her Olivia then she tentatively sat down next to me. I could sense her trepidation as she reached out and put a hand on my arm and with a heavy sigh at her gentle touch; I felt my anger slowly slip away.

"I'm so sorry, Rick." Her voice was soft and full of regret and it sent another stab of guilt through me. I'm pretty sure that she figured out just how badly I'd been scared; hence the verbal bashing. "I should have stayed here with you, but we had to get things for the baby. She was completely soaked and we needed diapers, clothes and other essentials. We're so close to Captain Cain's house that we thought we'd be safe and it would be easier to get it now, rather than have to come back out. Please, Rick – if I could do it over again – I would have stayed with you. I'm sorry."

For several moments I didn't trust myself to speak as I mulled it over.

"I'm sorry, too, Rick." Linda added, sounding chastised. "We thought it would be faster if we did it together so we could get it all and we didn't think you should have to get some of the personal items we females need."

I rolled my eyes. (Dear God – I could have lost them because they didn't want me getting tampons or something?) I nearly laughed out loud at the absurdity. "Look – okay. It's over and everyone is safe. Can you promise me this won't happen again? Until Lloyd Perry is safely behind bars, I don't want you two out of my sight – or Cain's. And for the record; if it means keeping you safe I –would- get –whatever- 'female' items you needed. Are we clear?"

DeeDee and Linda both nodded meekly and I felt like a father who had just reamed out his two daughters. I sighed again and for the first time took stock of where we were. No one said a word, and even Olivia drifted off to sleep in her mother's arms. Linda took the opportunity to unload the car seat they'd bought and nestled the sleeping baby in. DeeDee loaded the other bags into the back and I stepped out to try and calm down and get my bearings. I looked around carefully; scrutinizing the cars around us.

The shopping center we were parked at was bustling with early evening activity, but I didn't see anything suspicious. Realizing that I really needed to go to the bathroom, I spotted a gas station which seemed preferable than going out in public.

Linda was watching me warily, I guess to make sure that my previous fury wasn't going to erupt again.

"Now what?" she asked tentatively.

"Don't," I huffed, my voice rough. She made me feel like an idiot, like I was some kind of villain preying on helpless females. "I'm not going to bite. I'm all right – you – you just really scared me," I admitted.

"I know, and I'm really sorry. Forgive me?" she asked, eyeing me hopefully.

I managed a small smile as I climbed into the driver's seat. "This time," I said with a wink. "And just 'cause you're family."

She buckled herself into the front passenger seat and reached over to give me a playful punch on my shoulder.

"What about me?" DeeDee piped up from the back seat where she was snuggling a blanket over Olivia.

I looked into the rearview mirror and caught her looking back at me. Our gazes locked and for a moment I simply stared and so did she. God, she's beautiful. The thought entered my brain without warning. Suddenly the air was so thick I didn't think I'd be able to breathe, my hands became slick on the steering wheel and from seemingly out of nowhere I had the incredible desire to –make- her my family.

"Uh – guys –"

The sound of Linda's voice caused both of us to jump and in the blink of an eye, the moment was lost. I felt my cheeks flame and DeeDee quickly ducked her head, probably to hide her own blush. Obviously she had seen something in my eyes, but I had no idea how she felt about it.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled, mortified and feeling like I'd got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. "There's a gas station over there – let's fill up the tank and get to Cain's house. I'm sure he's worried by now." Glancing over at my cousin, I'm pretty sure she wasn't fooled by my attempt at nonchalance, but she at least had the good grace not to say anything, to my profound relief.

I quickly started the car and pulled out. A glance in the rearview mirror showed DeeDee staring out the window, studiously avoiding my eyes. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking and if I'd somehow offended her. She'd just lost her husband for God's sake, and had a baby - she sure as hell didn't need anything complicated right now.

Complicated. Yep – that's exactly what this was, I told myself. I think I'm falling in love with my former partner's wife.

Chapter 21

As soon as I filled the gas tank we were back on the road, heading to Cain's house. I realized too late that I probably should have called him but I guess it didn't matter since we were so close and my mind was becoming a little preoccupied with thoughts of a home cooked meal and a comfortable bed. At least that's what I kept trying to focus on so that I wouldn't think about my evolving feelings towards DeeDee McCall.

With so much that had happened, I knew that I wasn't ready to deal with something of this magnitude. That would come later. If at all. I told myself that I had to be realistic. As far as I knew, this was all me – I didn't have a clue what DeeDee was thinking. About me, that is. I mean, the poor woman must be on a psychological seesaw between the joy of becoming a mother and the grief of losing her husband all in one day.

I managed to peek back at her a couple of times as she watched little Olivia, and by the expression on her face, it seemed to my untrained eye that she might be focusing only on the joy and not dealing with the grief.

Not that I could or would blame her.

I was no shrink – but even I knew that at some point she was going to have to come to terms with Steve's death.

Mental head slap, as I reminded myself firmly that – I – needed to do the same. Because as I recall, I was initially pretty damn mad at Steve and now he was dead.

(Shit.) I did not want to do this. Not now. My hand shook slightly as I quickly rubbed it across my burning eyes. (Get a grip,) I told myself forcefully, (focus).

"Hey, Rick – isn't that the street?" Linda's voice startled me out of my reverie, making me hit the brake in reflex.

"Huh? Oh – yeah – thanks." I slowed down enough to make the turn. "Almost there."

"You okay?" She put her hand on my arm, making no attempt to mask her concern.

"I'm fine. Just tired." (Understatement of the year), I thought ruefully, hoping that Linda didn't know what was really going through my head. Another glance at the rearview mirror revealed DeeDee seemingly oblivious to us. I sighed.

Deciding that I better get myself back into "cop mode", I pulled myself up straighter and as I cruised up to the security gate, I carefully scouted out the surrounding area: no occupied parked cars, no one behind us that I could see; so I rolled down the window.

"Here we go," I commented unnecessarily as I leaned out and entered the code and then we all watched the heavy wrought iron gate swing slowly open.

After a final look behind us, I inched forward and for some reason I stopped the car and turned partially in my seat so I could get a good look out the back. We all felt compelled to make sure that the gate closed behind us and when it did, I tried really hard to imagine that we were safe for now.

"All clear?" DeeDee asked with a slight catch in her voice, almost as if she was afraid to believe that we might have made it.

Without stopping to think, I reached back to take her hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Looks that way," I answered, wanting to reassure her and then realizing how it might look – I quickly withdrew my hand and gave Linda a reassuring pat as well. I think she was probably aware that I was trying to reassure myself, too.

I quirked a smile at her and then we went off in search of Cain's house.

"Let's do this," I said confidently, turning around in my seat and putting the car in drive.

When I first saw the house and pulled into the driveway, I thought that Cain had done a good job of batting down the hatches. The blinds were all drawn, the garage closed. Everything looked quiet.

"Okay?" Linda asked with her hand on the door and moving without giving me a chance to answer.

I nodded absently as I continued to scan the entire area and she was out of the car before I fully realized it.

"Hey!" I called out anxiously, fumbling with my own door and scrambling to my feet. I was five steps from the car when I thought about DeeDee still in the backseat and I froze. Linda was at the front door but she stopped at the tone of my voice. "What"" she asked petulantly. "I need to go to the bathroom."

I wanted to berate her for not going earlier. I couldn't explain why I suddenly felt nervous and torn in two directions. Something wasn't right and I couldn't see it. Time was slowing down. All at once I couldn't seem to catch my breath and I felt like I was moving in extreme slow motion. I looked to my left. Linda had her hand raised as if to knock on Cain's front door, staring at me like I'd grown another head. I looked to my right. DeeDee had the back door open but was still inside the Suburban, bent over Olivia but turning to see what was going on.

Just as I turned back to Linda, the front door opened. Startled, Linda whipped her head around and without warning her upraised hand was grabbed and she was pulled violently inside the house, out of my sight. There was a scream and then a single gunshot.

Panic hit. "Linda!" I shouted, simultaneously reaching for my gun and running towards the house. And then the sound of gunfire rang out again. I felt the pressure of the bullets entering my body long before I felt any pain. My upper body was pushed backwards by the force of the shots even though my legs were slow to get the message and I managed two more steps before collapsing to the ground.

Linda. DeeDee. Olivia. All I could think was that I had failed them. My heart was racing, my breathing ragged and I could feel the sticky wetness of blood all over. And then he was standing over me. Lloyd Perry. The sadistic son of a bitch that started all this. The asshole must have been here the whole time!

I briefly wondered if Cain had been in on it, but dismissed the notion out of hand. Of course, that meant that Cain was dead as well.

"Hello Hunter. I've been waiting for you." Gasping for air, I squinted up at him and saw that he had his gun pointed at my head. I was seconds away from dying and the only thing I could think of was DeeDee and Olivia. Oh God, I was going to miss them.

Lloyd adjusted his aim. I closed my eyes. I had failed.

And then DeeDee was screaming my name.