Disclaimer: Me own nothing. Me very depressed now. sob That's why this fic is sad-ish… And just to say again, I do not own these songs or characters. No ownership here. I can't even finish my first novel. Sobs again in corner I don't own neither Harry Potter or the song "I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts.
MENDING THE HEARTACHE
CHAPTER ONE
I'M MOVING ON
Harry slammed the trunk of his only piece of luggage, gazing at the room around him with a content sign. Why? It was over. The war, Voldemort, the Dursleys… It was over. Finally over.
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
His brain reminded him of what had happened not too long ago, before his final bereavement for his godfather and his lost friends. It let him recall every piece of the memory, and his heart stung as every cold portion bit into his soul. He remembered watching Ron Weasley, his best friend since he had entered the wizarding world, die right before him, seeing Hermione fall to the floor as a disarming spell hit her and knocked her unconscious…
He shook his head. His grieving wasn't done, but at least only one of his friends hadn't let him alone permanently. Yes, every part of the war hadn't been his fault, but he felt like it had been. He had been trapped inside the burning heartache inside his chest and mind called his past long enough. No more would they see Harry Potter grieve for what could not be saved.
The Boy-Who-Lived decided long ago, from the moment that the death blow had been administered to his arch nemesis, that he would continue with his life and leave his memories behind, good and bad.
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
He swung his bag over his shoulder, moving down into the Gryffindor common-room where everyone in the castle had gone to, only to celebrate the victory over the vanquished party. No one minded him, and he thanked God that no one had. He didn't need lengthy good-byes or words at all. He just needed to go.
His eyes darted from face to face, and he recognized most of the students immediately from his seven year term at Hogwarts, since he had evidently met them all at least once this whole time. None of them wanted to hurt him, but he still had to go.
No one in this community would ever see Harry for actually Harry. All they would see is the Boy-Who-Lived or the Boy-Who-Defeated-You-Know-Who.
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
As he moved toward the gate of what he had considered home for all of his adolescence, he could only chuckle to himself at the thought that this place couldn't even be considered as home again.
He had to move on with his life. He had to leave.
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
Harry stopped in his tracks as he looked at her, dreading the look on her face. Her curly cinnamon colored hair was obscuring his view of her face which he was sure was tear-stained. He had barely noticed the small bag beside her feet, packed full with books and some clothes. "'Mione?" he whispered as he got close to her, pulling the wheeling bag behind him.
"Were you just going to leave without saying good-bye?" she asked him straightly, nearly hiding the small hiccup in her voice. He nearly broke at the sound.
His thumb brushed away the streams falling from her eyes. "Honestly?" he questioned her, neither smiling nor frowning. She nodded, leaning into his hand slightly. "Yes." Her surprised eyes only made his hand fall back to his sides in his heart-wrenching pain. "I was going to try."
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
"Not without me", she told him firmly, staring at him with a tense passion for staying by his side. "I'm going with you. I don't care what you say. I'm coming."
He chuckled softly, wiping her other cheek dry. "I'm not going to stop you", he whispered into her ear. Truly, he didn't want to leave not telling his only closest friend left over from the battle. If she wished to come with him, he knew she would and he wouldn't try to stop her. "I won't ever try to. It's no use. You won't listen to me."
She smiled softly at him, a small laugh on her ruby lips, bringing back the old happy memories of their friendships and their lost friends. He could see what Ron would do if he knew that his childhood crush was coming with him, the man who secretly loved her and was also her best friend. His emerald eyes twinkled as she bent down to pick up her belongings, walking beside him as they exited the grounds.
But he had to stop thinking about those he had seen die and continue on, to forget or remember those who are gone on the day that would most likely be commemorated as Harry Potter day.
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
He threw their belongings into the 'ninety-seven Chevy truck's bed, driving into a nearby muggle town to sell most of his prized muggle things to the pawn shop dealers. Hermione had no objection to his actions, and he assumed that it had been because she thought that it had been his way of getting the pain to go away. He kept what he couldn't sell and moved down the gravel-filled road to a gas-station where he used all the money he had received to pay for gas.
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
His eyes wondered to her bushy head in the passenger side of his truck, his heart beating quickly. He wondered what living a life without being a legend would feel like, especially with her by his side, what it'd be like to be unknown in the vast world of muggles.
Still, he'd have to find the courage to actually ask her out on a date first.
His eyes darkened slightly as he thought out the word courage. He hated the word. It was supposed to be what he was known for, and he hated being the most commonly known man in Europe and most likely the entire wizarding world. He couldn't help but wonder if he would ever find the courage to forgive himself for the murders he didn't commit.
Harry felt the gas pump jump in his hand, signaling to him that the gas had been done pouring fuel into the tank.
I've loved like I should but lived that I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
He opened the driver's door, plopping down next to his best friend. "Ready to go, Hermione?" he asked softly as he over-turned the engine. She nodded mutely, and his emerald orbs searched her for the problem. He immediately noticed that she had been crying again, and he instantly used his thumbs to wipe her tears away. "Are you alright, 'Mione?"
Harry soon felt her arms around him, tears beginning to soak his midnight blue t-shirt. He didn't know if she had truly wanted to go now or if she went to make sure that he wouldn't die as soon as he would place a toe on unknown territory, but she had never gone back on a decision.
She probably didn't want to be reminded of the memories either, for all he knew.
"Harry!" she sobbed into his shirt, hands in fists as she clenched them painfully together into the fabric of his top. "I… I… I…I…"
"It's alright", he cooed as he held her to him. "It's alright now, 'Mione. You don't have to tell me anything." His firm hands gently stroked the top of her mane of bushy hair. "It's okay. Let's go. It's better." He kissed the top of her head unconsciously as he held her to him tightly in his grasp. "We're going to move on from this. We are going to be strong." Even as the words exited his mouth, he felt the tears in his eyes. "Ron wouldn't want us to be like this."
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on