Part 5

It was a beautiful night, and Rachael leaned back against Roy, his arm wrapped protectively around her as they sat back and watched the fountain in front of them, people milled around the square, coming and going on whatever missions they had planned in their lives. But Rachael was oblivious to them all, she had all she desired right beside her, the warmth of his body warding off the slight chill that was in the air. She looked up at him, and he kissed her brow lightly.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he whispered.

She sighed, "Just wondering how Cheshire could have given you up so easily." she murmured.

He managed a small chuckle, "She didn't, I walked away from her." he said.

Rachael looked at him carefully, looking for signs of regret, and seeing none. "Why?"

"To protect her. I was working for the government, my being with her put her at risk...So I left..Of course I didn't know she was pregnant with my child, if I had?..." He stopped and thought for a moment. " No..I guess I still would have eventually taken Lian and left. We didn't belong in Jade's world." he looked into her eye's closely.

"Did you love her?" she asked.

He looked away again. "Your asking the tough ones tonight huh?...I thought I did, at the time..I've learned a lot about myself since then..It wasn't love, I know that now."

"Sometimes when we feel unloved and unwanted...we see love that isn't truly there..we confuse other emotions for love..lust, desire, need...I thought Ryan loved me, but I know he just wanted to control me..to own me, I wasn't a person to him, I was a thing an object that belonged to him. He was my first boyfriend, my father never paid any attention to me and he'd died a few years before I met Ryan, and my mother died when I was five...I guess I felt alone, I didn't belong anywhere and nobody wanted me..but Ryan did." she sat up and looked into his eye's, they sparkled with understanding.

"I guess I felt the same way, I never felt I belonged anywhere, I had no family..I was alone in the world. Jade made me feel wanted, like I had finally found somewhere I belonged...I was looking for something that wasn't there...Yeah she loved me in her own way...and she loved Lian as well, but Jade uses the people she loves like pawns..That's why she kept Lian from me, why I had to fight to get her back...She used her to punish me." he stopped talking and continued to gaze into her eye's, knowing the she understood more deeply than anyone else in his life ever could.. He knew he had finally found what he had been searching for all his life. "I love you." he murmured as he drew her close.

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Roy lay behind Rachael the next morning, propping his head up high on the pillows so he could watch her sleep, savoring the sight of her and wishing they could stay this way forever but knowing Sam would soon wake and he himself would need to return home to Lian. He had never met anyone like the beautiful woman he now lay with, there was something about her..something that made being with her feel right.He could spend the rest of his life with this woman, he had no doubt about that, he did worry though, after all she had been through with Sam's father maybe being involved with him would make her vulnerable, he had no idea how his daughters mother would react, and he didn't wish to find that out, but he knew in his heart that this was his chance..a chance he may never have again...

Rachael stirred, than rolled over to look into Roy's eyes.

"Hey sleepy head." he said.

She smiled contentedly, "You been awake long?" she asked sleepily.

He kissed her on the head gently. "A little while...just watching you..and thinking." he replied as he snuggled down in the bed and pulled her into his arms.

She rolled over and rested her head on his chest enjoying the warm safe feeling that being close to him gave her. "Thinking about what?" she asked softly.

Roy remained quiet for a moment, long enough for her to turn her head and look at him concerned.

He focused intensely on her eye's "Move in with me?" he whispered.

"Pardon?" she asked surprised.

"Move in with me...I want us to be together all the time, not just when there's a sitter available." He said again.

Rachael was stunned into silence for a moment. "I...We..we have to think about the children..what if you realize later this isn't what you want..What will happen then..It would be devastating for Lian." she finally managed to say.

Roy looked at her for a moment "I've never been so sure about anything in my life as I am about us, you, me, Sam and Lian...I'm committed to making this work." he whispered looking at her with pleading eye's.

"How committed?" Rachael asked softly.

Roy continued to focus his brilliant green eyes on her blue ones. "Committed enough to ask you to marry me." he whispered, shocking himself with his reply.

Rachael gasped slightly as his words hit her."I...It...But it's so soon." she stammered.

Roy paused absorbing the importance of what he had just asked...He'd thought about it..of course he had, a lot in fact. He just hadn't expected to ask that question just yet..his mouth as usual had moved faster than his brain. What if he had scared her off...what if she said no... After a moment of panic a strange calm came over him. No, his mouth had only expressed what he felt in his heart was right. "Do you feel the way I feel?" he asked softly.

She stared into his sparkling green eye's, mesmerized by the emotions that flashed in them, they were eye's that melted her soul and reached into her heart...She knew from the first moment she had looked into them that this man was someone she could trust...someone who would never willingly let her down..Her heart raced as she reached up to gently run her hand down the side of his face drawing his lips down to hers, "Yes." she whispered.

end of 5