orokid: there are some instances in this story that has no relation to Book 6, and, since I would believe that the book is true and is some fabrication while the true one is where Harry and Hermione FINALLY figure out that they love one another and lead the way to defeating the Dark Lord. But that's just my opinion. I have no real records of there even being the clue for the REAL story between my favorite couple.

Well, I was looking at this song, trying to figure out what to post for chapter five of Mending the Heartache, and it felt like, I dunno, an epiphany maybe? It was like "Hey! Harry and Hermione are already in conflicting emotions, wanting to tell the other but too freakin' afraid to, so… WHAT THE HELL!" Lol

Anyway…

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER, THE CHARACTERS, OR THE MUSIC THAT I USE IN THIS MUSICAL CHAPTER STORY! "Why Are We Still Friends" belongs to 98 degrees, and "Harry Potter" belongs to JK Rowling, the creator of Hogwarts and everything else.

Now that that's over… on with the fic!

((I'm gonna use a text reference! Actually from the book kinda…! Same idea and around the words used, but… you get the idea!))

Lyrics

Normal

Memories

CHAPTER FIVE

Why Are We Still Friends

Harry glanced over quickly to the angel that was sleeping on his arm, and he couldn't help but feel relaxed as she just laid there, his arm his pillow. This moment felt like it was perfect, and he just knew that nothing could ruin it- unless she woke up, of course, but it didn't seem as if she'd do such a thing yet. His shoulder could feel her breath, moving in and out almost rhythmically as she slept, and he was doing all that he could to make sure that nothing occurred out of the ordinary- such as him giving into his emotions and waking her with a snog.

That, in itself, would be more than disastrous, considering just who this woman was and what she was capable. Why, wasn't she the one to stun Bellitrix long enough until the war was finally over and the officials would cart her off to Azkaban? Personally, he wasn't one to wish for that outcome.

He sighed, wondering just why he hadn't truly done anything yet to announce his feelings to the young woman who seemed so adamant to stay so close to him. Even Ron's bloody spirit was getting annoyed from beyond the grave with Harry's inaction! Maybe he should just bite the bullet and just tell her what he felt, how he couldn't live without her, how he'd die without her there with him. Maybe.

Then again, maybe not.

What if she didn't love him, let alone even like him in such a way? She'd only shy away from their friendship, and they'd once more be strangers, like how they were in their first year at Hogwarts. Their friendship meant everything to him, and he would be damned if he'd brake that bond that they shared just because of something that would possibly disappear.

Although, if it would disappear, why hadn't it for all this time? Why hadn't it gone away from all the time he had held back his emotions for all these years?

Inside of Harry James Potter, he knew that those feelings wouldn't ever go away, and that he'd always be cursed to love the young woman who would forever be his best mate. Once again, things in Harry's life just didn't seem fair.

He could remember every single Hogsmeade trip that Ron had run off with one of his many girlfriends, although the most often were always Lavender and Luna, and then finally mostly Luna in the end. The emerald eyed teen could remember them because it was the time he got to spend with Hermione alone, and they could just hang out.

And he would, stupidly, pretend that this was some sort of date that his redheaded best mate would make for them, and that the man would just run off because it would give them time together.

For that, he thanked his friend, even if there might be a chance that he couldn't hear him over whatever quidditch match he was over-looking at that moment in time. Harry had heard that the Chudley Cannons were playing out in Russia somewhere…

Anyway, he had to focus on his current problem- possibly telling Hermione Granger his deepest darkest secret that he even held away from Voldemort (although he had no clue how he had done it) and everyone else that had him on their hit lists. The last thing he needed was her death on his head, just because he was in love with her.

We do almost everything that lovers do
And that why's it's hard just to be friends with you

Hermione actually wasn't asleep, but rather just reveling in their closeness, in the fact that he refused to move her from the comfortable position she had found. She let out a soft, barely heard sigh as she began to think of something that only made her depressed at the mere thought, and she felt him look at her to see if she had awaken yet- which she wasn't going to, she decided. Truthfully, she was too comfy to even pretend that she was going to move, but she knew that she'd have a crick in her neck when she had to wake up.

But, for right now, this was perfect. No future pain was going to bother her now.

The reason she had sighed, though, was the fact that his former loves had come into her mind. She had thought of the girls before her that had found comfort, love, in this position, as friendly as it was. And it was that connection to her memory, when he had returned from the break-up with Cho Chang, that had flared up the knowledge that she couldn't ever be loved by him.

But, even then, when he had returned near to tears, she knew that she loved him. The very sight of his tears had always killed her inside, but, when she had heard that Cho had been the cause, she felt as though they felt the same wavelength of pain, the same stabbing through the heart sensation.

Why couldn't he have fallen for a normal girl, someone like her- or maybe even Ginny (although she just didn't believe that the match up would be quite right)? Then, at least, she would at least have a slight feeling that she would have a chance for his heart.

But she didn't, so that point was moot and then some. How could she ever compete with the beauty of the Goddess of Ravenclaw? The fact was, she couldn't. So why should she even risk trying for something she just couldn't nor wouldn't ever have? Let alone go through the embarrassment of the entire turn down by her closest best mate, who would most likely be freaked out by her brilliant actions?

And every time your heart is broken by the fool

I want you to know that it hurts me too
It's hard to wipe your tears away
Knowing you should be with me, tell me

Harry thought back to the young woman who had fallen for him, or the ones that he had thought he had fallen for in the past years. There were always imperfections, things that just didn't suit his personality, as well as his own affections and the reasons he had been so ready to give them his heart.

Then there was Hermione, who was more than perfect in his eyes, who always helped him despite him being a prick at times. She was so loyal to him, and he felt as if he did absolutely nothing for her while she did everything that was needed for him. She helped prepare him for the trials in the Triwizard Tournament by teaching him the Accio charm, and also by telling him more times than not just what they were up against- IE the basilisk in their second year. She was so calm, brave, and helpful to almost everyone- minus the evil and conniving Slytherins. He couldn't remember a potions lab where she and Neville hadn't teamed up and-

All of a sudden, he had gotten the sudden urge to pummel the other boy, even if he didn't know where he was now, or even if he hadn't truly done anything wrong.

'Back to Hermione', he told himself firmly, trying to tell himself to get off the (surprisingly pleasuring) thought of beating up one of his good friends and back to the woman of his dreams. 'Back to Hermione, Harry.'

He sighed, looking about the road, pulling over to the side of the road, unable to continue driving while he couldn't exactly think straight.

Why, why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than what we are

He couldn't help his thoughts that turned to Cho, his eyes looking over the young woman who had cuddled up against his shoulder. As beautiful as she had seemed on the outside, the beauty on the inside had been greatly misunderstood until the final moment. But… Hermione Granger… his very own best mate…

To him, she had all the beauty in the world- inside and out. She was the most perfect person in the entire universe, and he felt more than glad that he was at the very least her friend.

Although he had Cho had failed in a relationship, their friendship was still there- even if there were awkward moments between them still. The reason they had split in the first place had been because he had refused to pretend that Hermione meant little to him, that he wasn't going to just blow her off because whatever she had to do wasn't as important as Cho made herself out to be.

Still, after all that, they were friends, while he and Hermione…

… were still friends.

And tell me why
Everytime I find someone that I like
We always end up being just friends

He hated the mere idea of Hermione finding someone else, of being another man's girl, and the thought that hurt him the most was the gentle thought of her finding comfort in someone else's arms. If… If that happened…

He felt like he'd die if that happened.

But he knew that if he kept worrying, kept thinking that she'd love another being that wasn't him or the feline she had been so attached to (before he had been whisked home by her worries to her dear mum and dad), she WOULD find someone that would make her smile and laugh in ways he treasured inside himself. He was afraid of that, and that such an occurrence would happen to him, but…

He didn't know anything anymore, really. As much as he hated not understanding anything, he also enjoyed having the unknown just out of his reach. Still, as confusing as this was…

Bloody Hell, he was just confusing himself the more he thought. Skip the thinking part from here on out. At least, for now he would. Later, he'd go back to the confuzzled thinking-ness.

I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love cause it could mean losing you

But am I a fool girl not to say
If I'm always scared I'll lose you anyway

Somehow someway I've got to choose
Got to choose no matter if it's win or lose

Hermione sighed once more, her thoughts still centered upon the young man she laid upon, and by the way he was shifting his weight over, they both knew that he found out that she wasn't really sleeping. As long as he assumed that the other moments she had been snuggled against him like she had been was a time well spent with dreams, she felt like that be an okay thing- in fact, it'd be very enjoyable to her if he thought that.

Her memories found her again, and she felt unable to hold them back as her heart speed in the remembrance.

Harry had just returned from his sour date with the young woman he had convinced himself to have loved, his mood just about the same with how his date had turned out. He had been angry on arrival, a scowl on his face and huffing all the way to the table where he had flopped down into the awaiting seat. But who was angry at in particular?

The bushy haired young woman had no idea who his mood was against, but why did she have a feeling in the pit of her stomach that it was all her fault?

"Where's Cho?" she asked as sweetly as she could, although he stomach was close to revolting at the way she had words. In no way had she meant them to be sweet and good natured, but… he was her best mate and she wanted to do just about everything to make sure that he was happy with all he had chosen.

And if Cho is who he chose, than she's swallow her pride and smile when she wished to frown.

And she'd swallow her pride just for him. The same pride that she had slugged Malfoy for saying such rude things about her friends and about her blood (although he always found a way to get her bloodlines into a conversation, cause he was special like that).

"We had a fight", he told her simply, sighing as he let his tough façade fall from his features, his gentleness returning to him and his hard, statue-like persona falling away from his eyes, the emeralds flowing with depression and frustration. A hand ran through his dark hair, allowing the young woman a brief glace at the scar he tried so hard to hide. "I told her that I wanted to meet you here after our date, and she just… exploded on me, I suppose."

Hermione's jaw seemed to go slack, looking at him as if he had caught the snitch right before pulling up from the ground, just before he'd hit the grassy plains that were the pitch. He… "Merlin Harry, I- You-" She was speechless, unsure what to say to her best mate after he had revealed such information to her. "You should've told her that I was forcing you to be here! That- That you didn't want to be here, and that I was making you come here because… I don't know. Some sort of reason that she would understand!"

She was flustered, trying to tell him what he should've done, just because he liked this girl as much as he did and she only wanted what he wanted. He had ruined his chances, maybe, with Cho! "And then- then you should've told her that- that I was ugly, and- and- and-"

Harry looked at her as if she had spoken the strangest thing in the universe, like she had spoken to a ghost or something of the sort, and he placed a gentle hand upon her lips so to make her stop her babbles from continuing any further. His eyes… They were so gentle, so hurt, so… something that she couldn't explain as she sat there with flushed cheeks, with his hand over her mouth.

"Hermione… I don't think you're ugly…"

Those words once more made her speechless, and she would've sat there with wide eyes and mouth agape- if he hadn't covered it, of course. She had to just watch him with her chocolate orbs (that would resemble something like plates), and wait for him to remove his hand.

Finally, the moment passed, his fingers falling down from her mouth. The two sat in silence and waited for the other to speak, to say something that would rid them of this awkward moment. Hermione took this moment to reach down into the seat next to her, trying her hardest from that point on to return to the work that she had planned for both Harry and the DA.

Why, why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than what we are

She returned to her thoughts of how her relationship with Ron hade turned out, although how could they call it a relationship when all the two of them wished was to be in the arms of someone they assumed they couldn't have. Ron wanted to be with Luna (although the brown haired young adult had NO idea how he had gotten a fixation with a girl after he tried so hard to make sure she didn't like him) and Hermione wanted Harry (even if he was her best mate).

And, after the two of them had settled that a break up was probably the best thing for their relationship, they returned to being the best of friends yet again.

Just like how she and Viktor had decided it. And every other boyfriend she might've had over the decade. That's just how all her relationships had happened, and that's how she preferred them now.

And tell me why
Everytime I find someone that I like
We always end up being just friends

Harry watched the young woman sit up from where she had napped, smiling softly as he turned his eyes back to the road they drove upon. She was awake now, and that made him both excited and glad by the prospect of her awake-ness. He was glad, because now he had someone to talk to (although they really didn't speak much anyway while on this trek of forgiveness).

But he was depressed because now he had to hide his snuck glances he more than he had when she had been asleep and unaware of his eyes. Also, she'd be once more depressed because their friend's death was an ever present feature in their lives now.

And, also, because all she would think about him was the fact that he was her best friend, the man that was the little brother she never had (since she was almost a couple months older than him). To tell the truth, those things were great to be, although not when his heart yearned for her heart to be his, and vice-versa. It wasn't fair to either of them that their loves weren't ever going to love them, since Harry was more than sure she held onto the feelings she felt for Ronald Weasley (and he was just a little dead) and Harry himself was in love with a woman who saved her heart for another.

Fate wasn't fair.

I don't want to be like your brother
I don't want to be your best friend
I only want to be your lover

Harry couldn't live without her in his life, so he was willing to keep this relationship plutonic if that was what she wanted. But all HE wanted was to hold her in his arms, to kiss her lips, to give her the comfort that she wanted. He knew that it was a foolish thought, something that was most likely improbable of happening, but… he couldn't help it. This man who was named the savior of the wizarding world loved her more than anything he could use to describe it with.

Hell, if she begged and pleaded him to, he would give up his aspirations to become a internationally known seeker. That was how much he loved her.

He wanted this pain in his heart to stop, for this feeling that made him want to be with her every moment of the day. It was impossible to occur, but… he just wanted the hurt to go away, even if it meant loosing himself along the way. That way, she could live without him needing her.

He sighed softly, almost unheard to the tiny insect that was buzzing about his head right then. Harry didn't know what to do, but what if… what if he told her? What if he told her his deepest, darkest secret that had NOTHING to do with the pale, snake-eyed man that haunted his dreams still? Would she accept his love?

Or would she laugh at him, and make him pass it off as some sort of joke so to save face?

He didn't know, but… he wished that he did. At least, then, love would become much easier.

When will this end?
If I told you that I want to be in your life?
Then you could be the woman in mine

Hermione reached between them, then over to his side, following the ridges of the blanket that he had laid across them. This was so hard for her- to sit here and say nothing about the war that raged between her heart and mind.

And, so far, her mind was winning.

That alone was what held her back from telling the man beside her the difficulties of being his friend when all she wanted was to make him hers and hers alone, to be his one and only. She already understood that he was hers, and no one would ever steal him away- because the only way she'd let him go was by him going with or after the woman he most desired.

Her gentle fingers trailed above his lap, and she blushed lightly at the thoughts that came across her mind- and she did her best to force them away without doing anything that would complicate this friendship any further. To save herself from doing just that, she moved the blanket towards the man she loved even further, and she tried to make him understand without saying anything that she had taken most of the covers.

His emerald eyes glanced at her momentarily, and they seemed filled with laughter and mirth that she hadn't seen for… Merlin! Years!

Now tell me-

Why, why are we still friends
When everything says
We should be more than what we are

"Keep it with you, 'Mione. You need it more than I do."

She lowered her eyes so to make sure he didn't see the blush that came upon her cheeks as he turned his eyes to the road for the millionth time (although she didn't know that). Nervously, she began to wring her wrists with her fingertips, keeping her eyes low, only stopping so to move the blanket over her more once again.

Like always, it figured that Harry would become the same thing just like all her other crushes and past loves.

He would always be her friend.

And tell me why
Everytime I find someone that I like
We always end up being just friends

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orokid: yeah… Okay… I'm a dork… But whatever! I don't care all that much. I know it's kinda been a year since I last posted in this fic, and I'm very sorry for the wait. But, like I said in my profile, I write VERY slowly. I'm sorry… (give puppy dogs eyes to the audience and some awe and drop their pitchforks) I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so… (three hours later) … sorry! (People pick up their pitchforks again and glare, totally annoyed by my repentance. I only run.) SOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!