Hollow Man
By: Justin T. Melanson
Disclaimer: I do not own Iced Earth (though I wish I did), Fatal Frame, or Miku and Mafuyu Hinasaki.
Author's Note: Oneshot Miku POV about Miku's laments of her brother, set to a beautiful song from one of my favorite bands of all time, Iced Earth. The ending is about her acceptance.
"Emptiness, consuming me
Head in hands, I can hardly speak
Looking for solitude
Lost in humanity
True knowledge leads to suffering
A constant quest an endless dream
Searching for inner peace
Hidden so deep in me"
Mafuyu...the name sends needles of sadness through my heart now...I went in search of him within the confines of a haunted mansion, only to come up empty handed. I thought I was over this, but now it seems the visions of the past are coming back to haunt me. This is something I did not want to remember ever again. Why do you haunt me? It seems the knowledge I had gained from that experience has only caused me to feel this emptiness within. I feel lost, like I am suffering inside this endless dream. I can't talk to anyone, as the right words don't come to my mind.
"Don't wanna be a hollow man!
Ain't gonna be the hollow man!
Don't wanna be a hollow man!
Ain't gonna be the hollow man!"
A hollow man is something I don't want to be, but it feels like I am becoming that person I do not want to be. I hope that someday soon I will find a way to finally move on from these memories forever. Will there be someone there for me at the end of this adventure? I do not know anymore.
"Sadness comes knocking constantly
Filling up my eyes, for all to see
Peace will come someday
I pray that it finds a way
Darkness caressing my mind and soul
My spirits rejecting, I'm feeling whole
Emptiness goes away
Fills with the light of day"
That sadness is becoming greater with each day that I spend in this nightmare. The tears are running every time I think about it, but I know I must go on and find a way. The darkness seems to be caressing at my mind and soul. But what of my spirit? I feel like it's rejecting this, for the first time in a while, I feel whole, I must go on, maybe the light of day will be seen again after all.
"Don't wanna be a hollow man!
Ain't gonna be the hollow man!
Don't wanna be a hollow man!
Ain't gonna be the hollow man!"
A hollow man, I will not become that hollow shell, I will not become one of those who goes on for the rest of their lives feeling sorry for themselves anymore. There will be hope for those who never give up, and if I give up, I know I will become one of them.
"I rise up like the phoenix
from the ashes of an older way
With wisdom gained, I turn away
I turned away
Hollow man find yourself some other plan"
I feel different somehow, like even though I am trapped inside of this nightmarish maze that there is hope for me yet. I have gained knowledge and wisdom, and have started to free myself from the shackles that bind me. I love Mafuyu, but he made his own decision to stay with Kirie, for me it's time to make my own decision. I am going to live my life how I feel. As soon as this nightmarish maze comes to an end, I will continue on with my life.
"Don't wanna be a hollow man!
Ain't gonna be the hollow man!
Don't wanna be a hollow man!
Ain't gonna be the hollow man!"
A hollow man I know I am not, I feel like I am accepting that my brother is gone, and won't be returning to me again. I feel there will be someone waiting for me after all, I have my friend Rei, who has helped me through my tough times, and I am helping her through her own as well. We will get through this nightmare together, and when it all ends, I will rise up like a phoenix from the ashes. I will not be a hollow man, because I have chosen my path. I must complete what I started now, there is no turning back...