Thank you to my reviewers(Ch 4): EOR, Cand, Rach, IDWY, EvilM007, dorgirl, shop87, and Lyndz
(There's more of you now! Yay!)
Thanks for sticking with me.

This isn't the most exciting chapter. But I think it had to be in there. Because the journey is important. And this is an ensemble show.

Enjoy!

Chapter 5 – Finding Me

"I don't even know why I'm doing this," Cristina pouted, picking up the phone once more.

"Because you're a good person," Burke replied matter-of-factly.

"Don't say that," she shot back, "Meredith should give up on him".

"I thought she had. They're friends now."

"They can't be friends," Cristina scoffed, "anymore than we could be 'friends.' She's deluding herself. Derek never should have picked Addison-"

"-his wife," Burke pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, his wife. Because he really acts like he gives a damn."

"It didn't happen over night, Cristina; it can't be fixed that way. It takes time. You've been a great friend to Meredith. You're doing all you can do."

He sat next to her and studied her face.

"You're a good person Cristina," Burke kissed her cheek and rolled over, "good night."

"Good night Burke," she smirked at him, "and no, I'm not."

She dialed the phone one more time for the night.

"Hi, I'm looking to see if a woman checked in last night…"

- - -

"Any luck?"

Izzie stood in the doorway and looked sadly at George.

"Nope," he tuned around and looked at her, "no one matching her name, any combination of it, or her description."

Izzie sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. She turned to face him.

"She's alright, right?"

His lips thinned. He took a deep breath.

"Seriously," she nodded at him, "I don't know Izzie. I hope she's okay. She probably is. Something bad obviously happened with her and Derek. Maybe she just needs time to cool off. Time to check out."

"But, to abandon her patients? It doesn't make any sense. She wouldn't do that?"

"Maybe she didn't have a choice. We spend so much of our lives on-call to other people. If we don't stop once in awhile to be ourselves, we'd go crazy. And her life is exactly perfect these days."

Izzie nodded. She was still scared. She glanced over at George, who was looking back at her sympathetically.

"It's gonna be okay Iz, promise," he said with all the sincerity he could muster.

"Thanks George."

He picked up the phone.

"Hi, in the last 24 hours has a woman…"

Izzie curled up on his bed with her list.

"Hi, I'm checking to see if a friend of mine checked in…"

- - -

"Thanks anyway."

Meredith set her phone down and crossed another name of the list. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

"You look like your having as much luck as I am."

Alex appeared in the hallway. He hopped up on the gurney next to her. He pulled out his list full of cross-offs.

"Sorry Mer," he started, handing the list to her, "no one has seen her, anyone who looks like her or anyone who has a name similar to hers."

"Thanks for trying Alex, I really appreciate it."

They both just sat there for awhile. Not saying anything. Not even looking at each other.

"When did we start hanging out down here anyway?"

She chuckled and looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Seriously?"

He grinned back at her.

"No, I just want to help you. I do have one question though:"

"And that is…" she looked at him suspiciously.

"Why is this so important to you?"

She leaned back at stared at a point on the ceiling.

"When she first got here, I didn't feel guilty. I had been sleeping with her husband for months and I didn't feel guilty. I didn't know he was married. I really felt like I hadn't done anything wrong. Then, he told me why he'd left her. It made me feel justified. She deserved it. She was getting a taste of her own medicine. So I didn't stop things with Derek. He was happy she was leaving. He wanted her gone. He called her 'Satan' for crying out loud."

She threw her hands up in frustration and looked over at Alex.

"But then, he picked her. He didn't sign the papers. He wanted to 'work it out' with her. And what could I say? I just had to sit back and watch them. But I didn't stop loving him. I didn't stop flirting with him. And I started to feel guilty for it."

"And you felt like you were gonna die," Alex added.

"Yeah," she nodded, relieved that he seemed to get it.

"So now you're making amends," he supplied.

"Yeah, I wanna help make it better," she affirmed.

Alex went to say something but his pager interrupted.

"Damnit, Sheppard's nuero-case is being rushed to surgery. I gotta go."

"I hope it goes well."

"Same to you," he gestured towards her phone.

"Don't bring it up to him, during surgery, okay?"

"Agreed"

And Meredith was alone again.

"Hi, I was wondering if a woman has checked in the last 24 hours…"

- - -

Meredith was running through the hospital at top speed. When she reached OR 3, she could barely breathe. Olivia was standing there, looking concerned.

"Dr. Grey? Are you alright?"

Meredith was doubled over, panting.

"Dr. Sheppard….his surgery….is it over?"

"No," Olivia shook her head sadly, "there have been some complications, and he'll be in there for a couple more hours."

"Crap!"

Meredith pounded her head against the wall.

"Anything I can do to help?"

Meredith turned to acknowledge the voice.

"Are you capable of helping in this situation?"

"Ouch," Mark bowed his head, "I've spent all of my waking hours today looking for Addison because Derek asked me to. I've spent the whole day on the phone with everyone Addison has ever met in New York. I'm trying here."

"I'm sorry."

"What do you need to find Derek so badly for?"

"I found her."

Mark took a quick breath and his eyes were wide with shock.

"Where is she? Is she alright?"

Meredith was taken aback by his unabashed emotion.

"I haven't talked to her. I called a motel that has someone matching her description that showed up driving a Mercedes."

"That's her," he looked so relieved, he was almost smiling.

"That's what I think. But Derek's gonna be in surgery for a couple more hours and…" she trailed off, trying to plan the next move.

"Tell me where she is, I'll go to her," he demanded.

"No, you're part of why she disappeared. I don't think you're what she needs right now. But I don't want to risk her leaving…" Meredith suddenly smiled.

"I know who can help."

- - - -

"You found her! Seriously! How is she? Where is she? Does Derek know? What's happening?"

Izzie jumped up from George's bed, practically knocking him off of it.

"Is that Meredith?"

George's whisper incited a quick nod from Izzie.

"For a couple more hours? But what if she…" Izzie trailed off, listening closely.

"Oh, okay, are you sure? What do I say? What do I do? Very reassuring. Of course I'll do it. Give me the address."

Izzie started looking for a pen. George handed her his and some paper. Izzie smiled back at him gratefully.

"Yeah, I'm ready. O-kay, I've got it. I'm on my way there now. Yeah, I'll call you. You're welcome Mer."

"So," George looked at her questioningly, "can I come to."

"I thought you'd never ask."

- - - -

They had arrived quickly to the motel; thanks in large part to the late hour and George's insane driving. They parked right next to Addison's car; they'd recognized it immediately. But neither of them had moved since the car stopped. Izzie leaned back in her seat.

"Now what do I do?"

So, what'd we think?
I'm not sure when I'll get the next chapter up. It's gonna be very draining, emotionally, to write. But, I promise it will be worth the wait!

See ya in Ch 6!