The Hart and Hind was a cosy pub off the beaten track, favoured by a select group of wizards and witches who spent their days in the bowels of the Ministry of Magic. It was a muggle pub and as such could boast a level of privacy that couldn't be found on the wizarding side of London.
The ceilings were low, the woodwork dark, and the brass bar rail and fittings shone like gold in the low light. The floor was covered in quarry tiles that might have claimed to be red at one point in their history. Now they were dark nondescript colour in the well-trodden paths around the bar, lightening as they reached the edges of the room. On a blustery evening in early January, the warmth of the pub shone like a beacon.
When a tall man in slightly odd clothing walked in through the door, he drew little notice from the patrons already ensconced in comfortable surroundings as the evening wound its way into the later hours, except a group on a table in a corner.
The man placed his order at the bar and glanced around the pub.
"I recognise that look," Phil said, waving over the man who could only be a Weasley from the hair colour, and Percy's eldest brother from the scars on his neck.
"What look is that then?" Bill asked as he approached the table of a wizard and two witches with his drink.
"That is the look that says Percy has done something and its made somebody else happy, and you're left feeling somewhat inadequate, and annoyed at him. Which I suspect, if you're like everyone else, is making you more annoyed."
"Alright," Bill acknowledged, taking a seat. "You might have a point. Know where he is? Audrey said he was here."
"Little Wizard's room. I'm Phil by the way, Helen and Heather." He waved a hand at the two witches at the table. "So, what's he done and whose problem has he fixed? I speak from the position of being the idiot who mentioned to Percy that his niece wanted to be a muggle vet, and would be taking her GCSE's alongside studying her OWLs. Low and behold not a year later Hogwarts rolls out education reforms that means she won't have to, and she can study for her muggle qualifications while attending a magical school."
"Ha, yeah but we know where he started don't we. That bloody marriage law." Heather, the blonde witch, leant forward over the table, pointing a finger at herself. "I was sunk if that came back. I'd been dodging it by the skin of my teeth as it was, no family name, no connections, and a little bird with suspiciously red hair managed to get that shit thrown out didn't he."
"Oh, come on, Heather," Helen joined in. "It's Percy, if he weren't such a good bloke, I'd have poisoned his tea by now."
"Bill, I wasn't expecting you. Remind me not to drink anything you bring me in future Helen," Percy said as he retook his seat.
"I'm not stupid enough to bring it to you myself. I'll have that junior secretary in Accounting do it. He lights up like the sun when you walk through. It would be pathetic if it weren't so bloody funny."
"I have indicated that I am, A. not interested. B. very happily married, and when all that failed, I told him I wasn't gay."
"Ahh well he lives in hope doesn't he."
"Please, feel free to crush it for me."
"Ooooo!" Helen laughed. "I might, but you'll owe me one."
"I'll mark it in my ledger to be sure," Percy replied, rolling his eyes.
"You would as well you bastard," Helen snorted.
Phil turned back to Bill. "So, come on what's he done?"
Bill looked around the table of eager faces, then at Percy, who was calmly sat in this group of witches and wizards, waiting. "Fleur has decided that she isn't going to home-school Victoire and Dominique. She wants them to attend muggle school. She's also going back to work, if not with Gringotts full-time curse-breaking, then she and Audrey are setting up a business together."
Phil looked at Bill. "This is bad?"
"No. Yes. Fucked if I know."
"Ah," Phil said. "One of those problems." He turned to Percy. "So, what have you to say in your defence?"
Percy rolled his eyes at Phil's dramatics. "None of it was my idea."
Bill began to protest, but Phil held up a hand to stop him. "Hang on, gotta hear him out."
"Audrey and Fleur cooked this up between themselves. The business that is. While you were in Brazil, they met for a day out. Lizzy, my mother-in-law, took all the children. Fleur accompanied Audrey to her vault, which sparked a conversation regarding Audrey's expectations in returning to work and Maggie's schooling. It was the day we found out about Audrey's pregnancy. As Audrey told Fleur, I have no objections to either of my children attending muggle schools. While I have some reservations, they are related to my unfamiliarity with the system, not because I fear the standard of education or care. Audrey and I have a blended household, and she has every right to expect me to respect her way of bringing up our children."
"Fleur isn't a muggle."
"No, but she does have a career she is deservedly proud of. By sending the girls to school they are looked after, given an education, the opportunity to make friends, and Fleur gets to pursue something that makes her happy."
"Yep," Phil said. "You've lost this one mate. Sorry." He patted Bill on the arm.
"Phil," Percy said. "I'm not sure that is helping."
"Nah," Heather weighed in. "Phil's right. There's nothing wrong with going to a muggle school. I went, Phil's nieces and nephews went. It's stupid to say otherwise. It's school, not a prisoner of war camp. Hogwarts will be less of a shock if they're already used to being away from home during the day. Some of my dormmates when I went were horrendous. Couldn't cope with being away from home or around so many people all at once. Took them months to adapt."
"What about this business idea?" Bill asked, waving the server over and indicating he wanted another round.
"Ah, well," Percy said, ducking his head slightly.
Phil started laughing. "I know that look," he chortled.
"Yes, thank you, Phil," Percy said repressively.
"Oh, go on, what've you done?" Helen asked, leaning forward in her chair with a delighted gleam in her eye.
Percy sighed. "Nothing more than register the business with the appropriate departments and gain the relevant permits so that they may start as soon as they like. The work Fleur is purporting to do for Audrey is not without danger, and I would be remiss if I did not ensure my wife's business partner had the adequate permits to carry out her work."
"Riggght," Heather started to laugh. "This would be Phil's department, wouldn't it? Phil, who happens to have a niece taking GCSEs at Hogwarts."
Phil grinned. "Nah, I'd have done it anyway without that. I like Audrey, and she lets me borrow Percy here when I need a wingman."
Percy spluttered into his drink. "I beg your pardon."
His reaction caused Helen and Heather to laugh as Phil grinned pleased with himself. "Seriously, his brothers got Trevor, Beatrice, and Suzanna their wands. I'd have to be pretty thick to miss the fact that when the department started drowning them with forms, they never missed a deadline and never miss-filed a single one. You kept them going didn't you, till Shacklebolt got in and the nonsense stopped."
"My brothers are very dedicated to their wand business, and it behoves me as their brother, to help them in any way that I can," Percy said stanchly.
"See," Phil said to Bill. "He says this shit, and you'd laugh, but the stupid idiot is serious. What can you do?"
"Ask him to get education reforms pushed through Hogwarts," Heather shot back.
"Well, exactly. What's the point having a mate with all the power if you don't abuse the hell out of it?" Phil declared grandly.
"My thoughts precisely," Percy replied, a smug grin hovering around his lips as he looked pointedly at Phil. Heather and Helen sputtered off into laughter as Phil realised Percy's meaning, his face morphing into pleased surprise.
"Although," Percy continued pointing at Phil with his drink. "I will repeat, I think you are celebrating too early with regards to the reforms. It's a trial period. Yes, she'll get to take her GCSE's but the work to ensure she can take her A-Levels is still incomplete. If she can't, then she'll be a NEWT down. We need to be sure that we aren't disadvantaging those students electing to take the Muggle Studies course. They need to be able to proceed through to NEWT level, then once they leave something has to be in place to support their transition into whatever world or career they choose. There are social and economic repercussions from this, and if they are not addressed, it runs the risk of having the whole lot thrown out. The work to ensure that Suzanna's year doesn't become a one time deal is still to be done. Drawing up the reforms for Hogwarts was six months work. I proposed when I suggested it to the Headmaster, that it would take four years to get the full support in place for this to become a standard. I have seen nothing that dissuades me my initial estimate is incorrect."
"I don't doubt your numbers, Percy, I'm just saying what you have done is worthy of celebration."
"It's too soon to celebrate," Percy replied. "This isn't submitting a C23 form."
"A what?" Bill asked.
"License to research and perform experimental magic within a controlled environment," Phil replied automatically.
Bill barked a laugh. "Are you kidding? Those things are hellish to fill in, and they take ages to be approved. I completed one two years ago, and I've still not heard back."
"Really?" Percy said in surprise.
"Yes," Bill said. "We have an artefact that hasn't responded to the usual things. To actually get anywhere with it, we need a license to use experimental magic, hence the form. It's still sat in storage because we never got a reply."
"Well, I can't say I found it particularly onerous. I have to admit as I wasn't sure of exactly what Fleur would be required to do, I left the request pretty broad. I didn't want to accidentally exclude something she needed. I have seen the amendment forms, and they are a work of art. By the way, Phil, my compliments to whoever wrote that bit of redundancy within it."
"It is a thing of beauty, isn't it? Weeds out the idiots with zero effort on our part."
"Wait, you've given Fleur a license to do what?"
"Research and perform experimental magic in a controlled, approved environment, where it pertains to the removal and documentation of curses, hexes, jinks, household charms and other magics. That's what she'll be doing for Audrey after all, and she does have all the relevant accreditation. Although I have to confess, I upped the level of safety standard she has to adhere to in respect that I understand she wishes to work from home, and you do have two young children. She didn't seem to mind when I ran through it all with her."
"You mean Fleur has carte blanch to research and document? No one at Gringotts has that sort of permission. She could make headway through our backlog. Merlin." Bill slumped back into his chair.
"Well," Percy said. "She could, but you'd actually have to pay her to do so. The licence is for Fleur as pertaining to her role within their business. It's nothing to do with her previous role at Gringotts."
Bill looked slightly aghast.
"I'm sure her rates will be reasonable," Heather said with malicious glee. "Since you are family and have been so supportive."
"Why has my application taken two years if you can push one through for Fleur in less than five weeks."
"You probably filled it in wrong," Phil said. "We don't give permits like that to people who can't read. It's not really going to end well is it."
Bill spluttered indignantly as the rest of the table laughed.
"Since you're Percy's brother I can have a look for it on Monday and owl you. But if you have fluffed filling it in, you'll have to do it again. You did keep a copy of it, didn't you?"
"No, why would I do that?" Bill replied, puzzled.
"Because you have to fill it in again. It has been two years since you last did, so I am going to go with the guess that you can't actually remember everything about this thingamajig you want to meddle with," Phil explained with exaggerated patience.
"Bugger," Bill grumbled. His gaze dropped to his glass, swirling the contents clearly thinking. He looked up and caught Percy's attention. "Now you've given my wife every curse breakers idea of Christmas, what about this trip she is talking about? Are you telling me that wasn't your idea either?"
Percy shrugged. "Of course not, it's a business thing for Audrey. I assume Audrey would like Fleur to get an idea of what she does, the sorts of things that sell, and possibly explore some of the wizarding markets. I'm quite looking forward to it personally. I've already put in for the leave."
"You're going too?" Bill asked in surprise.
"No," Percy said slowly. "To look after Maggie. I'm going to take her to the zoo and the aquarium. Then there are the normal things that she does with Audrey, her playgroups and such. Lizzie and Rick see her on Thursdays, so I'll have to take her there as well. Without Audrey here, I'm all but expecting Fred and George to demand to be allowed to do something, probably outrageous, just for the reaction."
"You're taking a one-year-old to the aquarium?" Helen asked sceptically.
"It's supposed to help with her language development, and fish are very soothing."
"And aquariums are cool," Heather pointed out. "Can I come?"
Percy shot Helen a smug look. "Of course you can Heather. I'll stand you lunch, but you're buying the ice cream."
"Result! Let me know, and I'll get the day off too. We can go in my car if you like, then you don't have to apparate Maggie. She probably won't like it, and it will ruin the day if she's upset about it."
Bill huffed, leaning back in his chair. "Fleur said she'd take them to her parents if I couldn't sort something with work."
A collective 'Oooh' with accompanied teeth sucking came from the table excepting Percy.
"What?" Bill asked irritably. "My work isn't as predictable as an office job."
"Mate, we won't take offence at that if you don't take offence at this. What your Missus has said is clearly a test. And frankly, you're failing it hard. You're arguing about her getting a job which it sounds like your more than a bit jealous of, and staying home to look after your kids till they go to Hogwarts, and you're not even willing to do it for...?" Phil looked over at Percy.
"Two weeks," Percy supplied.
Phil winced. "Yeah, two weeks versus eleven years? You cannot let her take them to the in-laws."
"I'm not sure Fleur would do such a thing. Although I have to say your point has merit," Percy nodded at Phil.
"You mean Audrey wouldn't do it, but that's because she doesn't need to," Heather said.
"I hardly think that I'm in any way getting this right all the time," Percy protested.
"I didn't mean that," Heather said waving her drink at him. "She's not going to do stuff like that, because you two have different viewpoints. You have to talk to make sure you both understand the magical and muggle thing. You can't get pissed off with each other when the other person genuinely hasn't got a clue what you're on about. So you have to do the bit most people miss out. Namely, sit down and explain stuff. Frankly, it sounds like a load of hard work, but that's beside the point. Bill over here isn't doing that with Fleur, is he? Yeah, well, there you go, that's his problem. He's assumed, and she's not on the same page, and it's not occurred to him there is a different page. There you go, solved. I'll be here all week."
"What's solved?" Bill asked swallowing the last of his drink and waving for another.
Heather squinted at him. "Did you not listen? You need to sit down and talk to her. Find out everyone's expectations and stuff. And yeah, you gotta put in for the leave for this trip. Where are they going?"
"France, to meet some of Audrey's business contacts and pick up stock for the Auction house," Percy said, picking up his new drink. "Either Audrey or her Uncle goes every year. Last year was the first time Audrey didn't go in a few years, so she is quite looking forward to it. It takes two weeks to travel the loop that takes you through the tunnel, to Paris, then down to the south coast via the east side of France, then up the west side and back to Paris before taking the tunnel home. I've been with her three times; it is an enjoyable trip. I believe Fleur will enjoy it. There is a plan for Audrey to meet some of Fleur's family."
"Sounds great, so you can't mess this up, can you," Heather turned to Bill with a severe frown which was offset by the slight wobble and inability to focus entirely.
"How much have you had to drink?" Bill asked.
"Well you've waved three rounds over, and we were well onto our something-th before you turned up. But my state of inebriation does not make me any less right Fly Boy."
"Fly Boy?"
"You'll have to forgive Heather," Helen said. "She goes full muggle on us when she gets drunk. While wildly entertaining, it leaves some of us a bit behind in understanding."
"Speak for yourself," Phil interrupted. "I happen to be very current on muggle culture, and I knew what she meant. Percy did too. She's right by the way. Fly Boy is working for you. I'd embrace it."
Bill looked over at Percy for help.
"You've got swagger, bravado. Some innate sex appeal to the opposite sex," Percy recited helpfully.
"Huh," Bill said then squinted at Percy. "How drunk are you?"
"I shall not be apparating home this evening," Percy confirmed with great solemnity.
"Percy gets proper when he's drunk," Heather said as if confiding a great secret. "That is until he can't get his tongue around all the twisty words."
"A man has a right to celebrate the impregnating of his wife," Phil said with a dubious air. "I don't think I meant it quite like that, but, anyway that. Oh, did I tell you that Michaels has got some spare tickets for the next game? Think Audrey will let you out again? Bit crap she can't come. Think she'd like Quidditch?"
"We could record the game," Helen suggested.
"Isn't that illegal?" Bill pointed out.
"Probably not if we used a muggle camera," Percy replied thoughtfully. "Odds are good they wouldn't even know what one is, never mind its purpose. I bet Rick has one he'd let me borrow. He might like Quidditch, even if Audrey doesn't care for it."
"What's not to like?" Helen protested.
"Well," Percy said. "Audrey finds witches and wizards riding brooms a point of humour which is endlessly diverting. I'm not sure a sport based around the concept would overcome that. I have tried to explain, but it falls on deaf ears. We should do it though, in case actual footage helps. It would be terrible if my children developed a fascination with the sport, and their mother was unable to join in with it. That sort of wedge could do untold damage to their psyches, and Audrey would never forgive herself."
"You're going to break international sporting laws to record a Quidditch match, and that's your reasoning? Untold damage to the psyche of your children? One of which isn't yet born. Am I going to have to bail you out of the holding cells?" Bill asked incredulously.
"No," Percy said with a slow, deliberate shake of his head. "Because we won't get caught."
"Merlin," Bill said, laughing. "Have Fred and George ever seen you like this?"
"No," Percy said with just as much solemnity as he finished his drink and waved for another round. "And it is yourꟷ, your sworn duty, as an elder brother, that they never, ever find out. They are terrible, they don't need ideas." Percy shook his head again but a bit quicker this time, which caused him to wince.
Bill lifted his drink and used it to hide his grin. He'd never suspected Percy of getting drunk in a pub and plotting to break umpteen rules surrounding sporting events with company. "So," he asked, with a brief thought to how intoxicated he might be to be encouraging this. "Tell me. How is the camera going to operate in an environment saturated with magic? I thought muggle stuff didn't work around magic?"
He was instantly confronted with dismissive noises and gestures from the four other people at the table. Delighted, he settled in to discover exactly how the people who worked at the Ministry for Magic cut loose and plotted to break all the laws they upheld when sober.