"We got a taste of your uncle," the earth kingdom troops said, licking Zuko's neck, "and he was so good that we want to have seconds!" Zuko whimpered, because he was a total and utter uke (No, really. Work with me here.) and had forgotten how to use firebending. Because he had an erection and the flow of blood to the penis meant it went out of his firebending parts of the brain and he was helpless or some shit like that.
"Fire nation troops!" A voice boomed from the treetops, "Prepare to meet your doom!"
"But we're ear-" The troops were silenced when Jet fell from the sky, blades whirling.
"Are you all right?" He asked Zuko, as he gently helped the prince to his feet.
"What the-?" Zuko started the shout, before Jet kissed him.
"Damn those fire nation bastards." He swore, kicking the earth kingdom troops corpses, splattering blood everywhere. "They're always raping innocent little girls." He smiled at Zuko, who was beginning to get confused.
"I'm not a girl." He said.
"Of course you are!" Jet replied, "Why else would you have such long, beautiful hair?"
"It's the fire nation style for men to have long hair! This is our tradition! And as fire nation prince, of course I would have my hair like this!"
"Y-you're fire nation?" Jet sprung back from Zuko, eyes blazing with betrayal. "I trusted you! I loved you!" He gave a sob as he realized that he and Zuko could never be. Fire nation and rebel, prince and pauper – how could they ever be truly happy?
Zuko, now he no longer had an erection, was back to his usual cranky, pyromaniac self. "I was nearly violated, and then you come along and kissed me." He snarled, wiping his hand over his lips. "For that, you shall suffer!"
Just before blazing death engulfed him, Jet wondered where the hell his fellow rebels were. Probably jerking off in the trees again. Sickos.
"Uncle, are you all right?" Zuko asked, untying his thoroughly violated uncle.
"Quite fine. Reminds me of the good old days, bondage and all." Iroh said and, with a satisfied smile, went to sleep.