Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me
My back is killing me. I read somewhere that the best way to sleep is on your back with a towel rolled up under your neck and a pillow between your knees. The towel I can understand, but why the pillow?
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Chapter 4
Her body ached, the joints and muscles sore from over-exertion but it was not nearly as painful as she had feared.
I guess it was worth nearly drowning in my own bathtub last night.
"Ino-chan?"
The blonde blinked blearily into the shyly smiling face of one Hyuuga Hinata as she held out a filled teacup. Thanking her, Ino took it gratefully, taking the time to inhale the sweet rice aroma.
"Do you always come out here to meditate?"
"S-sometimes. Usually after training but it's nice to get away sometimes."
"Neji said the same thing once."
The two of them were relaxing on the grass, watching the sunset over a plate of sweets and tea. Ino had stumbled across the other girl during her stroll, eager to stretch out her limbs after a decadent day of doing absolutely nothing. Hinata had been more than willing to share her food with her, tucking her small feet underneath gracefully while the other flopped on to her stomach.
"Neji nii-san?"
"Yeah. He said he likes to watch the stars on top of the roof sometimes. Just to get some alone time once in a while."
Hinata gave her a wondering glance, the wind flirting with her short midnight locks. Slim fingers fiddled with the long sleeves of her coat.
"Neji nii-san told you that?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Turning on to her side, Ino flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. The grass was slightly rough and scratchy under her body but she didn't really mind. The other girl was fidgeting just a bit, clearly debating with herself whether she should say whatever it was she wanted to say.
"It's just…it's just that Neji nii-san doesn't really talk like that. At least not to me, I mean. Not anymore."
The sorrow in her quiet voice was obvious. Sighing, Ino rolled all the way over on to her back. The stars were just starting to come out, winking down at her from the ever-darkening sky.
"I thought everything between you two was better now. Don't tell me he's still being a jerk about the whole Main Family, Branch Family thing."
Out of the corner of her eye, Ino could see Hinata shaking her head vigorously.
"No, it is! It is better…Neji nii-san talks to me now. Ever since the first chuunin exam, it's been better. But you misunderstand, Ino-chan. The Main Family and Branch Family…he's not a jerk."
"Explain it to me then."
Ino turned to look directly into those distinctive eyes. Creamy white and unnerving, so like his but different here in that Hinata's were slightly tinted and somehow, more vulnerable. She noted her friend's flustered expression at being asked such a personal request so abruptly and sought to soften it.
"Would you explain it to me, Hinata-chan? Help me…understand him."
Yes, those eyes were so very different. They gazed back at her, compassionate and kind, the exact same display of emotions that had been so scorned by the rest of the clan.
"I think you understand already, Ino-chan. Neji nii-san would not have shared something like that if he didn't think you would understand."
The tea was lukewarm, unlike the way she remembered he told her he liked it.
"Maybe. But that doesn't mean I actually know what it is I supposedly understand. Tell me, Hinata-chan. What was he like…before? Please."
This time, the soft sigh came from the other kunoichi. Ino closed her eyes. It was a moment before the words came out in a steady litany, tinged with nostalgia and feeling.
"When we were little, Neji nii-san was…always there. He would come and find me during family assemblies; sit beside me to keep me company. After training with my father, he would come over to give me hints on how he would do a certain move or how to position my feet. Branch Family members aren't allowed to freely enter the Main Family complex but he always found a way there."
The images of a young and caring Hyuuga Neji filled Ino's mind, almost baffling in their unexpectedness.
Almost.
"But after his father died…to save mine…Neji nii-san changed. He didn't smile anymore, even though I kept trying to. He would just…train. There was nothing else."
"He was never there for you anymore?"
"N-no. He was. It's his duty."
Hinata's voice was trembling but oddly empty. Ino did not need to open her eyes to see what sort of expression was on her face; she had seen it flash across another Hyuuga's often enough.
Regret.
"But he wasn't there. Not anymore."
By now, it was nothing more than a whisper. The other girl sat up, smiling consolingly.
"But it's better now, right? That's what's important. And I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought it up."
"It's okay."
Ducking her head, Hinata stared down at her clasped hands. A moment later, she looked up again, her cheeks flushed but eyes bright.
"You're right, Ino-chan. He's different. I'm different. That's what's important."
You've grown up a lot, Hinata.
Giving the surprised girl a warm hug, Ino bounced up, brushing the grass off her clothes.
"Thanks for the tea, Hinata-chan! And thanks for talking to me. I've got to run but see you around tomorrow?"
The girl nodded, lifting her hand in farewell. Her words barely carried to Ino as she leapt up on to a tree branch, preparing to head towards the arranged meeting place.
"Thank you, Ino-chan. And thank you…for Neji nii-san."
The wind stung as she bounded from tree to tree, her muscles still groaning as the chakra flooded through them. Ino mused over what she had learnt from her little conversation with the Hyuuga heir.
The Neji she had described was one that was obviously capable of warm feelings. That he was capable of strong feelings, Ino was already well aware. The previous anger, resentment and sadness. All of those were indicative of a fiery passion brimming beneath an icy veneer.
The Neji she knew, or was slowly coming to know, was, in one word, complex. Moodier than Sakura during that time of the month and more stubborn than Chouji about not dieting, Hyuuga Neji was an explosive puzzle that required every bit of skill and patience that Ino had in order to unravel.
A lifetime, maybe.
Ino had always been a risk-taker.
A tall figure was leaning against a lonely, massive willow tree, silhouetted against the starry backdrop. They were on the edge of the forest, the full moon beaming down on them cheerfully. Waving, Ino stopped as she reached him, glancing around curiously before turning back to the boy next to her.
"Well? What did you bring me up here for?"
He frowned at her straightforwardness but made no comment. Following his example as he sat down, Ino waited impatiently for him to answer.
"I come here whenever I want to think."
His face was in profile as he stared out over the village. Ino's mind whirled. He had brought her here to share this with her. He was willing to let her in.
"Hmm."
The quiet hum seemed to be the right response as he relaxed beside her, their bodies close but not touching. Everything around Neji seemed to be still, a direct contrast to the hustle and bustle that constantly surrounded Ino. It was different, but nice at the same time.
"Shikamaru likes to watch the clouds, you know. I went with him a couple of times. It's different from watching the stars."
Her observation was made almost absently. Silence overtook them again such that Ino was actually startled when his low voice sounded from beside her.
"I thought about what you said last night."
She looked up at him. His face was shadowed by the drooping branches waving in the gentle wind. The weary bags under his eyes had lessened but were still apparent.
"Didn't you sleep at all?"
"…yes."
She didn't believe him. Naruto's words floated into her consciousness.
"I knew he was awake most of the time. He's barely slept these past three days."
This time it was Ino who frowned. Quickly making up her mind, she poked him in the arm, patting her lap in invitation. The boy looked at her skeptically, one brow lifted in mild surprise.
"It's a one-time offer, you know."
There was a pause as he stared down at her, his expression unreadable.
All of a sudden, Neji lowered himself smoothly, his head coming to rest in her lap as the rest of his body stretched out on the grass. His face was turned upwards, the pale eyes fixing on hers briefly before they closed almost unwillingly.
Ino had not really expected him to take her up on that offer. As it was, she was more than a little flustered.
"It's okay if you sleep. Just don't expect me to carry you home."
A huff escaped his lips and Ino laughed. A slim hand raised to touch the ends of long, dark hair as it spread itself across her legs like a rippling river. He made no move to stop her as her fingers sifted gently through his hair, occasionally stroking his scalp in a comforting manner. It was as soft as her own, the thick curtain of silk as cool as solidified air.
Ino watched as the tension melted from his body, his jaw slackening as she continued her attentions.
"You have nice hair."
A low, rumbling sound met her quiet remark, the underlying amusement faint but detectable. They sat in silence for a long while, the warmth of each other encasing them in a familiar cocoon as the night breeze ruffled over them.
"You said you do this because you love Konoha."
He didn't open his eyes but Ino had no doubt that his attention was focused on her.
"Yes."
"What would you do if the next name was someone you knew? One of your teammates or your friends."
He felt her sigh, the warm rush of air skimming over his face as she tilted her head back to admire the twinkling sky. That was something she had always feared, something all of them knew was inevitable but chose to push into the furthest recesses of their mind.
"Cry."
His eyes opened then, trailing over the curve of her jaw before he spoke.
"'A shinobi must never show emotions.'"
The corner of her lips quirked in a sarcastic parody of a smile.
"First rule of being a shinobi."
"Yes."
Ino looked down at him, her pale ponytail dancing in the breeze. His gaze held a lifetime of knowledge, the result of having been forced to grow up too fast. She knew hers were not much different.
"But that doesn't mean I can't break the rules."
A faint answering smirk met hers before he lifted one hand to brush against the silky gold strands curving down her arm. Ino's breath caught as those white eyes darkened into an almost milky-lavender.
"Who would you cry for?"
Daddy. Shikamaru. Chouji. Sakura. Hinata. Tenten. Naruto. Kiba. Shino…
"You."
The hot rush of blood pounding through her veins left her breathless and jittery. A gentle caw of a passing bird penetrated the silence, encouraging the still figures back into action.
Neji tugged on her hair insistently until she was bent over him, his face mere inches from her own. The hand slid up to cup the back of her head, holding her in place as her breath mingled shallowly with his.
"Me."
It was not quite a question, not quite a demand.
"Yes, you."
They stared at each other, time slowing to a halt. Calloused fingers stroked her nape but made no move to pull her down any further. Ino closed her eyes as the heady scent of incense and male wrapped around her again, well aware of the way his eyes were traveling slowly over her face.
"Thank you."
His hold on her tightened momentarily before he released her. Straightening automatically as if freed from a genjutsus, Ino sucked in a breath, watching as he closed his eyes again.
Neji…
The boy's breath slowed as welcome sleep overtook him, face turning towards her as though seeking her warmth. Ino was awed and humbled at the amount of trust he was implicitly placing in her. Who would have thought a year ago that Hyuuga Neji would willingly let down his guard enough to fall asleep in the lap of one Yamanaka Ino?
Wonderingly, she skimmed her fingers over the smooth arch of his cheekbone, careful to keep her touch light so that it would not wake him. He looked almost childlike in repose, the constant alertness bred into him from as soon as he was old enough to train now conspicuously absent.
How many of us are lucky enough to live a normal childhood? How many children are taught how to slit a man's throat efficiently enough so that it doesn't spray into your eyes? How many children actually end up have to do it?
Ino's mind wandered through what she knew of her friends.
She and her teammates were lucky in that respect, able to enjoy a relatively carefree period of their lives before family or desire had propelled them into the academy. Others were not so lucky.
There was Shino, his innate quietness compounded by the fact that others were either too scared or too repulsed by the thought of millions of insects swarming under his skin. Of course there was Hinata and Neji, their lives dictated by their clan the moment they were born. One ridiculed and discarded for being too weak to fulfill her destiny while the other pitied and overlooked despite his skills for being born into the wrong side of the family.
And not to mention Naruto and Gaara. Both of them shared the same story, the same agony and loneliness for something that had been forced on them without their knowledge. How they must have suffered, Ino could only imagine and she was simply thankful that they were both still here, finally saved by those around them.
A flash in the sky caught her attention and the girl lifted her eyes quickly enough to catch the tail end of a shooting star. Her fingers traced along his bottom lip, skimming over the smooth skin as delicately as an alighting butterfly.
They say that if you wish on a star, your wishes will come true.
"Would you break the rules for me, Neji?"
Her whisper carried on the winds, almost lost in the rustle of leaves.
"Yes."
Startled, Ino glanced back down, her hand stilling. He was staring up at her, the look in his eyes unexpectedly warm and gentle. She squirmed a bit in embarrassment at having been caught in her musings, finally laughing aloud in flushed resignation when he smirked at her.
"Good to know."
In a flash, he was sitting upright; one lean arm stretched over her legs to plant itself in the grass on her other side. His face hovered over hers, his expression serious.
She would never get used to his mood swings.
"Make sure I don't have to."
The command in his voice was obvious and it took Ino a substantial amount of effort not to toss him a curt reply. His proximity was throwing her off again and she didn't like the way her senses fluttered uncontrollably in response.
"Deal."
He stared at her for another moment before standing gracefully, extending a hand to her which she accepted.
"I'll take you home."
The two of them made their way back down to the village, each feeling an odd sense of peace that neither knew how to verbalize.
Maybe they didn't need to.
-o-O-o-
It became a nightly ritual for them, meeting whenever they were not on missions to just sit there together underneath the drooping willow tree. Sometimes they went directly after training, sometimes after dinner but in any case, it was always the two of them.
They talked about many things. Their latest mission, their friends, their families, life in general. If any of the others had happened to come across them during these times, they would have been shocked to find that Hyuuga Neji could be so open and Yamanaka Ino could be so calm.
In truth, it was a bit surprising to the participants themselves.
It was during one of these meetings that Ino dared to bring up something that she had meant to ask for the longest time. He was lying with his head in her lap as had become his habit, no longer waiting for her to ask before he settled himself against her as if it was his right.
As if he had a claim to her.
Ino had just returned from another sleuth mission, this time a week long one that had involved gathering information from the Daimyo of Rain. She could still feel his clammy hands all over her, the leer on his bloated face drawing closer as he murmured something lewd in her ear. Those were the missions she hated the most, the ones where kunoichi were used as bait in order to distract yet another disgusting old man with too much power and too little sense.
But she didn't complain; none of them did. Their bodies were weapons and they knew their duty.
She had been late tonight, too preoccupied with scrubbing the memory of his filth from her skin to notice the time. When she had arrived in a hurry, Neji had already been there, his eyes traveling over her over-pink skin shrewdly as she mumbled something about having to clean up after her mission. He had ignored her apology, simply motioning for her to sit down before he eased himself into his position.
It was likely he knew what had happened, that he had either seen it in her eyes or had seen it in real life. Perhaps he had even ordered it as a squad leader, the damning command burning its way out of his mouth even as his mind shredded itself in guilt and rebellion. But if he knew, Neji gave no indication. And if the way he was lingeringly touching her knee was out of the ordinary, neither of them mentioned it.
"Hyuuga Kyomaya was on my team."
Ino was referring to the somber Branch Family chuunin who looked not unlike Neji himself. His physical resemblance had comforted her somewhat, although it had also made her more ashamed about what she had done than she normally would have been.
"He is good at Jyuuken, although his speed could be improved."
The bland response was characteristic of him, although she knew he was waiting to see where she was going with this.
"Yeah. He said he was your cousin."
"The Hyuugas are a large clan. I have many cousins."
That wasn't what she meant. The hand that had been running through his hair removed itself, pausing in mid-air before lowering to lightly touch the chilled metal of his hiatae.
Pale eyes snapped open, a large hand shooting up to grab hold of her wrist firmly. His grip was not cruel but his voice was as controlled as tightly honed steel.
"What are you doing?"
Ino did not flinch under his cold gaze.
"Taking off your forehead protector."
"No."
His hand tightened marginally but she ignored the unspoken warning.
"Why not?"
"Because."
"That's not an answer."
Her other hand came up to brush against his bandaged arm. The scent of fall hung in the air, whispering of decay and the promise of new life at the same time.
"Please…Neji."
Ino never found out whether it was the husky plea in her voice or the unspoken knowledge between them of what she had just gone through. But whatever it was, it had Neji frowning before his hold on her loosened after a heartbeat. Taking that as assent, Ino slowly slipped her hand around to untie the black cloth, pulling it free until the band was removed and placed on the grass beside her.
Their gazes locked as she traced the darkened swirls on his forehead with gentle fingers, his shuttered while hers were wondering.
"Does it hurt?"
"Not unless someone from the Main Family activates it."
Her caressing motions never ceased, smoothing over the crease between his brows until the hard tension reluctantly lessened. The hand that had stopped her before was now back on his stomach, the knuckles white as though he was preparing to fling her away at any moment.
"I mean, does it hurt inside?"
The intensity of his gaze sharpened multi-fold. Neji seemed to be turning her words over in his head, weighing them for meaning and sincerity before he deigned to answer.
"Always."
The stark loss in his voice struck a chord deep within her.
A harsh indrawn breath sounded from his lips when Ino bent forward suddenly, her own unbound forehead pressing into his as her hair spilled around them in a pale, shimmering curtain that smelled of lilacs. She could feel the marks of his cage against her flesh, her eyes closed as she absorbed his pain.
"Ino?"
It was the first time he had ever called her by her given name. Her hand returned to his hair, stroking him reassuringly.
"I'm sorry."
"No."
Her head lifted again at his almost angry retort. Neji was staring at her, the wariness glaringly evident even though he did not move away from her touch.
"Do not apologize. You have done nothing wrong."
Ino shook her head, horrified at the tears threatening to leak out. She wasn't referring to the curse seal. She knew as well as he did that there was nothing she could have done to change it even if they had been friends from the beginning.
"That's not what I meant."
The shame was overwhelming, as was the self-disgust she had yet to become hardened to. His eyes softened, the anger still evident but not directed at her.
"I know."
It was the quiet understanding in his voice that undid her. Ino sobbed once as the hot rush of tears finally let loose, spilling over her cheeks before she buried her face in her hands. He let her do so before turning his face until it was pressed against her stomach. Choking down the cries, Ino glanced down at him, her vision blurry as she blinked in confusion.
"Neji?"
One large hand was stroking her arm gently, tugging it down from her face. His dark hair hid his face from her sight as he lay there otherwise unmoving. Ino held her breath, flabbergasted at such an intimate display of support.
He said nothing, merely continuing his soft ministrations until she quieted. Lowering her hands gingerly to his hair, she took the comfort he was offering her.
"Does it hurt?"
The colour bloomed on her cheeks at the feel of his lips moving against her. Ino was glad that he could not see her face.
"No, not really. I saw Hokage-sama before I went home."
He tilted his head up to face her, the moonlight lighting up the opal glow of those eyes. The angled planes of his face were beautiful.
"I mean, does it hurt inside?"
A small smile curved his lips at her weak laugh at his words, although his expression remained concerned. Long fingers pulled her free hand to rest on his chest, spreading it flat until she felt herself lulled into calming down by the steady beat of his heart. Her fingers tightened over his as she closed her eyes, leaning back against the tree trunk in exhaustion.
The weight on her thighs lifted and a shadow fell across the darkness behind her eyelids as he bent to pick her up. Her answer fluttered over them just before sleep claimed her.
"Always."
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A/N: Okay, this is the re-edited version. 19bLuEoRaNgE9 was kind enough to note that there were a lot of spelling mistakes in the first post, but when I went back to edit, I couldn't find anything other than a repeated word. If there are anymore, please do not hesitate to tell me, everyone!
I adore awkward moments where you're kinda wondering: 'okay, did he do that because he likes me or did he just do it cuz he feels comfortable around me like an old pillow he doesn't mind hugging?' They are super cute and shy (as compared to a straight-out 'i like you' ... in my opinion at least) but a pain in the ass at the same time.
NEWAYS, update coming next Saturday. Thank you for reading and please do review!