"I'll walk you home." (Chakotay & Torres)

Author's Note: This episode takes place after the Season 1 episode "Cathexis".

/

"So," said B'Elanna gruffly, standing by the bedside of her best friend in the world. "How long until the Doc lets you out?"

Chakotay looked pale under the harsh light of Sickbay, his tan skin almost yellow, his eyelids heavy. A monitor was attached to his forehead, another to his bare chest above the thermal blanket. "Couple of days for observation," he said. "I think he wants to study me some more. He's quite proud of whatever he did to reintegrate me with my body."

"Tell him he can study as much as he likes, as long as you stay in one piece."

"I'd certainly prefer that." Underneath the quiet irony, there was a flicker of fear in his eyes. As much as he believed in spirits, actually haunting Voyager as one he shouldn't have to remember. "B'Elanna … "

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For guiding me home."

He couldn't move much with his arms tucked under the blanket, but he nodded toward the medicine wheel she had hung up above his bed. The stones were still placed in the same position as the improvised map he had influenced Neelix to make. Strictly speaking, thought B'Elanna, it was Chakotay who had shown them all the way home.

"What, this?" she shrugged. "I just thought, since Seska always … Ugh, crap. Chakotay, I'm sorry."

Seska always used to set up the wheel for him whenever he was seriously injured. She'd done it so gracefully, almost making a dance out of every gesture with the signpost stones. She'd always known what would make Chakotay feel better: a kiss, a prayer or his favourite mushroom soup. B'Elanna was sick to her stomachs sometimes, remembering how perfectly that traitor had played her role.

"Don't apologize," said Chakotay, his blanket moving up and down with a quiet sigh. "It's alright if you miss her. So do I."

"I don't miss her," B'Elanna scoffed. "I just … miss who she pretended to be. Lying piece of ghay'cha'."

Chakotay's pained look silenced her, but it didn't silence her rage. If she ever saw Seska again, she hoped it was at phaserpoint.

"Lucky you still had that medicine wheel, I guess," she muttered, mostly to change the subject.

"I'm not so sure it was luck … and forgive me, but I'm not sure you believe that either. I could sense your faith as you were setting it up."

"Sense my … ?" She sputtered and fell silent.

It was one thing for Chakotay to tell her, along with the Doctor and Captain, that he remembered being able to sense and influence the minds of his shipmates. It was another thing entirely to find out that he'd witnessed her jumble of half-forgotten prayers as she held those stones. If it had been anyone but Chakotay, she would be storming out of the room right now. Even with him, it was a close call.

"You call that faith?" she said, with a burst of embarrassed laughter. "That's not how I remember it."

"You didn't know if it would work and went ahead anyway. That's what faith is."

She never would have thought of it that way before she'd met him. Growing up, the only faith she'd witnessed was her mother's, and that was depressingly black-and-white. Chakotay's faith, by comparison, was as rich and complex a tapestry as that medicine wheel. It even left room for skeptics such as her.

"No offense, but it's not your spirit world I believe in, it's you. So … so don't ever scare me like that again, okay?"

"I'll try not to," Chakotay said wryly. "But if either of us ever does get lost again … "

His eyes flickered up toward the wheel. She put a hand on his shoulder, as if that small weight was all it took to keep him from drifting away again.

"I know," she said. "We'll guide each other home."