"You don't have to say anything." (Janeway & Chakotay)

Author's Note: This story takes place after "Investigations".

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When Tom Paris' name was cleared of all charges in a live interview on A Briefing with Neelix, Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway watched the episode together in the ready room.

"I want to apologize to everyone I might have offended," said Paris onscreen. "Especially Commander Chakotay. I gave him a really hard time … although it was a certain kind of fun."

Chakotay didn't see it that way. It went against the grain to hear Paris and Neelix cackle over the pilot's successful charade, but on the other hand, at least he was safe on Voyager again, obnoxious sense of humor and all.

As Neelix smiled into the camera and the credits began to roll, the Captain turned to her First Officer with a rare vulnerability in her face.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you … "

"You don't have to say anything," he interrupted quietly. "I'd be lying if I said the secrecy didn't bother me, but it was the right tactical decision. We both know my better judgment goes out the airlock wherever Seska is involved."

Janeway didn't deny it, which he took as agreement. Humiliation washed over him once again at the thought of her out there with Culluh, carrying his child made from stolen DNA, subverting Jonas, almost getting Paris killed … Every time he tried to surprise her, to beat her at her own game for once, she was already several steps ahead. Worst of all, everybody on board now knew how easily she'd tricked him.

Including the captain, whose good opinion meant more to him than he would ever admit.

"I have to admit, I was shocked when you took that shuttle and went after her," she said. "It didn't seem like you at all. Still doesn't. She must have really hurt you."

"She did." That was an understatement, but he didn't know how else to say it.

"Did you … care that much? Before the truth came out?"

"I cared about who I thought she was. Turns out I never really knew her."

He had always had a weakness for women with a hint of mystery about them; a passion held in check, a treasury of stories waiting to be told. Captain Janeway was something of a mystery herself, even though - thank the Spirits - she and Seska were nothing alike in other respects. Sometimes he imagined how it might feel to call her Kathryn, to see her with her hair down and out of uniform, to get past all of her boundaries to who she really was.

At other times, though, he would give anything to fall in love with someone who was exactly what she appeared to be.

"Captain … " He turned to her.

"Yes?"

"You were right. We need to trust each other if we're to survive out here. I'm willing to start over again if you are."

He held out his hand and she shook it, smiling, despite the formality of the gesture. "Agreed. But can I tell you something first, before we clean the slate?"

"What is it?"

"The reason I didn't let you in on Mr. Paris' plan is that you're the most honest person I've ever known. Not exactly suitable for a spy caper."

"Oh?" He thought of her earlier remark about his arguments with Paris needing to be "a good performance", and didn't know whether to feel flattered or insulted. He knew himself well enough to realize his brain was wired differently than most. Social skills did not come easily to him, including deception. If he wanted to keep a secret, he had to resort to the clumsy method of shutting people out. To someone like Seska - or Janeway - he no doubt came across as naive.

"That's why I trusted you since the day we met," said the Captain, taking his hand again and holding it between both of hers. "And I still do."

"I hope so, Captain," he said. Despite everything. "So do I."