Mai and Shizuka's Replies

Hello my darlings! It is I, your wonderfully godly Bakura! Back to make more people happy at the expense of others! And here I bring you the very unimpressive replies of the two girls, besides Anzu, of whom I think should suffer horrible deaths. Anzu's special, she deserves to listen to herself in HELL. That would be sufficient torture I think.

Also in addition to the unimpressive replies I have a few more things to point out about these two in terms of complete bashing, (or as I should call it cold hard facts, because I know you agree with me, no?).

Well, it's come to my attention that Mai, later on with out my knowledge developed...a gangster accent! zOMG! (Yes I'm perfectly allowed to get away with using Internet nerd acronyms.) It's bad enough Jounouchi's accent is horribly American, even though he's CLEARLY Japanese. WHY did she have to pick up one too! Is it me or is there something wrong with that? I mean yeah, I know you're thinking, "Bakura your hikari has an accent too," but that is NOT the point! Oh my god! Not EVEN close! AT least Ryou's is CUTE (shudder)! From what I heard Mai sounded like she was a New York street punk (or in her case street slut).

And I'm horribly shocked with myself for forget to harp on the fact that she, indeed, collects harpies! For fuck's sake! That is a horrid deck! A personally despise decks that require so much, attention to one stupid card. And if I do, at least I know how to WIN with it. My god, I'm surprised she ever got anywhere dueling! Oh and that thing where she used her perfume! I'm thinking maybe we should call HER the dog! I mean really! The only way she would have been able to tell the scents apart, when they've had the chance to intermingle and become was awfully gnarly smell, is if she had a dogs nose, or took the card and stuck it up her nose, and we all know she's not THAT stu-...Nope, I won't even give her any credibility for her limited intelligence.

And that damn duel against Anzu! I don't care how nice you're trying to be! You do NOT let Anzu win! No, you defeat her, mug her for all her money, cards (like they're good anyways), etc, and then send her to the shadow realm. The end! But NOOOO Mai had to go and make herself look stupid by letting Anzu-dead-bitch win! Mai automatically loses brownie points for that.

Her very 'elegant' (I say that with absolute sarcasm intended) reply to my very limited bashing mail follows as:

From: harpy.ladies.mai.

To: Bakura the spirit thief.

Subject: RE: F#& You. (oh VEEERY original...at least I'm ballsy enough not to censor it...)

Bakura,

Hon, you really need a life, I don't care what you think. You're acting more retarded than Jounouchi, and THAT is a sad statement. If you're bored you ought to go crawl into a hole and thing about the ASSHOLE that you are! I have nothing more to say to you, except to leave these people alone. You're a very pathetic person.

Fuck You,
Mai.

x.x.x

First of all...No, I take no offers from women who can't decide what their real country of origin is, nor do I care about the opinion of an underrated duelist who's more hated than me! Hell, unlike HER I have a FANBASE! ...Of COURSE I'm referring to you my lovelies! (Though I prefer to call it worshipping, it boosts my already massive self-esteem. Being the greatest thief and badass EVAR, has that effect.)

Next on my list of hate, is Shisuka! (Spelled wrong on purpose).

Due to the fact that I detest her and her overly cheery ways, I've decided to hate on her more too! (Actually I'm just really bored.) But this girl is probably THE worst thing since Richard Simmons! She's almost as bad as Anzu! And Related to Jounouchi too! I know I said that before, but it's so bad it must be repeated twice.

This girl is so fucking naive! zOMG! If I told her Kaiba's elite fleet of penguins was going to take over the world using Tomahawk Missiles and neon green silly string she would probably believe it! And I noticed with her, unlike the other chicks who have at least dueled ONCE, she doesn't even know HOW to play the game! OMG! That's offensive to ANY player that a girl who does not even know the name of one damn card should be cheering on someone who owns in that game! (It took a lot of pride breaking for me to say that because you all know I was totally referring to Yami as the person who owns at the game.)

I am considering destroying her from the face of this earth too. That way she can join Anzu in FREAK heaven. Oh hell, if Anzu is in Heaven then I'm going to go commit mass genocide and join Hitler in hell. (Even though he was a complete bastard...Geeze...Let's kill lots of people because I'm a psycho and want to! GOD! You at least need to have a REASON! You see I have one...I've been imprisoned in a fucking piece of costume jewelry for 3000 plus years!). Yeah...Let's pray for the rest of humanity that she is not in Heaven.

And now for her retarded response!

From: I.secretly.stalk.ryou. (WTF?)

To: Bakura the spirit thief.

Subject: RE

Um...why do you hate me again?

x.x.x

OMG! I'm not kidding! That's exactly what the response was! Oh my fucking god! The whole purpose in sending that was to tell her why I hated her, and she, wants to know why! WTF! You see why I think this girl is a DIPSHIT! There are limits to the amount of stupid you can be. And I think she's all but broken through it with a rubber mallet! There is no justice...

Okay, so as a response, I resent the attachment. I hope the bitch got the message this time! Idiot.

And so my lovelies, that concludes today's bash fest.

Leo: Sorry it took so long...I've been having a hard time getting on my computer for leisure, seeing as how ALL of my teachers choose to have the big projects at the last week before exams! WTF!

SEQUEL IDEA: I require your opinion!

...It's getting close to the finale of this marvelous adventure! But I think perhaps I may continue it, though! I want your opinions though, before I put this plan into motion! I'm thinking of doing another version of this story, however with audience participation! In other words, you write Bakura an email, asking a question or commenting on how Bakura feels about these other folk, and he shall reply to you! (Not disclosing your email address of course) I will call this story: "Mail from the fan club". This will make a whole new adventure of Bakura finding things to bash the characters about! So, for instance if you have a thought about a character Bakura did not mention you could comment on that. If you like this idea and want to participate tell me what you think in your review! Much love to you guys! You're wonderful!