Chapter 4 – A Dish Best Served Cold
The next night on RAW started out like any other. Evolution, the faction composed of Triple H and wrestling legend Ric Flair, came out and disposed of Muhammad Hassan rather quickly. Then the night went off as Jerry Lawler announced yet another fashion contest with three of the RAW divas. The crowd erupted in delight as Stacy Keibler, Christy Hemme, and Lita made their way to the ring in sexy outfits. Jerry himself was flustered because he was a well known womanizer but was mainly kept where he was behind the announcer's table by Jim Ross. Before Jerry could say anything crazy exercise music came on and all of a sudden the crowd erupted in boos because none other than Simon Dean came down to the ring accompanied by Maven and Molly Holly.
Lawler rolled his eyes and let out loud groan because Simon Dean was an idiot who thought every person who didn't use his formula was a fat idiot who would always remain that way. He came up to the ring with a smug grin. "Well Burger King, normally I'd come out with my trademark bag of health shakes and spread my gospel of health and nutrition to all you obese pigs out there, but SOMEONE had stolen my bag, and I'm holding all four of you responsible." Jerry Lawler scoffed as the Divas let out shouts of protest to the accusation. "Simon Dean, no one took your precious formula, and if we did what on earth would we do with -?" Maven cut Lawler off, "What you would do with it is not an issue so tell us what happened to it?" Molly walked up behind Christy and knocked her down and started to pry her mouth open in rage, Christy started screaming, Lita started to run towards Molly but was clotheslined by Maven. This heinous act made the booing crowd louder as Simon Dean grabbed Jerry Lawler's hair and started yelling in his ear "Tell us where my formula is NOW."
All of a sudden light jazz music mixed with guitar riffs started pumping and all three assailants turned in horror. Making her way down the ring teeth gritted in rage was none other than Purity. She was carrying Simon Dean's bag and seeing that made him angry enough to release Jerry Lawler. Purity threw the bag over the ropes and climbed into the ring, staring at her assailants from last week. "Last week, after my first match I was minding my own business when all of a sudden 'champ' over here decided to pick a fight with me after she showed respect to me after I won. And that's not all she decided she needed help from the 'purple bitch boys' to jump me. And after I got beaten up, Mr. Guru King decided to pour his little exercise drink down my throat, and because of that drink I got hives." The crowd began to boo Simon Dean even louder and some people in the front started throwing garbage at him. Simon Dean was shaking with rage,
"You're..the..one..who..stole…my….formula…..you…fat…COW." he barely got out. Purity shook her head sadly. "You are so damn pathetic, why do you call women these names, I mean look at Molly, is it just me who noticed or does it look like she has a fat Jennifer Lopez butt?" Molly's mouth widened in shock and let go of Christy and stood up slowly while shaking with rage. The crowd as well as Jerry and the Divas burst into laughter. Purity wasn't finished, "And have you read the fine print on this thing 'caution: do not administer to pregnant or nursing women or anybody with lactose intolracy,' I AM LACTOSE INTOLERANT YOU DUMB IDIOT, YOU ALMOST KILLED ME WITH YOUR HEALTH SHAKE WHY DO YOU THINK NO ONE WANTS TO DRINK YOUR CRAP. YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE TO THE NAME WWE." Simon Dean couldn't take this anymore and kicked Purity right in the ribs where she was hit last week. Molly started laughing. Stacy was enraged and slapped Molly and kicked her in the knees. Maven started to attack Stacy but was instead punched in the groin by Christy Hemme. Purity got back up and forced her fingers down Simon Dean's mouth and locked him in the mandible claw. The crowd as well as the Divas clapped and cheered loudly as the newcomer to RAW forced Dean to tap out and all of them threw out the three idiots. Purity started singing "na na na na, na na na na, heyheyhey, Goodbye." in order to taunt them away, the crowd joined her in singing this song as well as those in the ring. She became respected that night by those Divas in the ring. She had stood up for people who were nice to her, and on that night she became a household name. She walked out of the ring and back up the ramp and before she went behind the stage pointed her two index fingers and in fond nostalgia of her mentor's days in the ring went 'Bang Bang' the crowd cheered louder.