Intro

I've been thinking lately, about what would have happened if I had directed the Lord of the Rings… so I've decided to write it! Be prepared for a large amount of… how do I put it… fangirly-ness! (NB: yes, I just made that word up )

(NB: Also, the characters will be characters, not actors (i.e. Orlando Bloom etc) as I think I can have more fun with them as the actual characters)

Disclaimer : I do not own LOTR or any of the characters or events which take place within the books/ films. I do own however, a large collection of Orlando/ Legolas posters, three DVDs and more pictures than should be allowed on my computer…and whatever twisted thoughts come into my head . …

Alanna walked onto the set, and waved in a very hyperactive way at the cast.

"Hi everyone! I'm your new director!" The cast stared at her blankly.

Aragorn blinked and then said, "Who... are you?" It was Alanna's turn to stare blankly.

"Your new director! Peter Jackson pulled out at the last minute, so I was allowed to do it!" Aragorn looked worriedly at the others. Legolas moved forward cautiously, just in case this was one of those rabid fangirls he had heard of.

"So... What is your name?" Alanna looked at him for a moment, then squealed.

"OH MY GOD!" she screamed, unaware of Legolas' wince. "LEGOLAS! I'm like your biggest fan!" Legolas sighed, resigning himself to the fact that this was going to be a very painful process.

"I never would have guessed... again, what is your name?" Silence from the fangirl. Legolas shifted uneasily as he realised that she was staring at him intently. Aragorn walked over to Alanna, and waved a hand in front of her face. Still no reply. He waved again, and this time she swatted his hand out of her face, but continued staring. Legolas was now pretty sure there was drool, but then... THWACK. Alanna crumpled into Aragorn's arms. The rest of them stared at him incredously.

"What did you do to her?" asked Boromir. Aragorn gave him an exasperated look.

"I knocked her out; she was freaking pretty boy out..." Legolas hissed and drew his bow.

"Take that back!" He hissed. Aragorn raised one hand in the air, as the other was holding onto Alanna.

"OK, taking it back." He said hurriedly. Legolas put his bow away and said normally, "Now she's stopped drooling... what do we do? We've got no director..." Aragorn picked Alanna up as she weighed almost nothing.

"I think until she wakes up, we should put her somewhere where she can sleep." Legolas backed away quickly.

"Just as long it's no where near where I sleep. I don't want her coming and attacking me in the night..."

Aragorn walked off, calling over his shoulder, "Actually, was thinking of letting her sleep in your bed... it's plenty big for the both of you-" he was cut off abruptly as an arrow whizzed past his ear.

"NO!" Legolas yelled. "I will not share my bed with an obsessed fangirl!" Aragorn shrugged.

"Fine, I'll just leave her in some ditch somewhere... seeing as there's no one else with a double bed..." he trailed off. Aragorn and the others noted with interest that Legolas' eye was twitching spasmodically.

"Fine... but if that... fanatic... lays one finger on me... I will shoot you until you look like a porcupine... understood?" He said menacingly. Aragorn nodded then carried Alanna over to Legolas' trailer.

Will Aragorn turn into a human pincushion? Will Legolas be traumatized for life by having to share his bed with an obsessed fangirl? Will they ever start filming? Find out in the next chapter!

NB: please don't yell at me if the characters end up OOC, but sometimes I may have to sacrifice it for the sake of my fangirly-ness and because I'm making them all live in the real world with me! Aren't they all soooo lucky...

Please review? gives readers puppy eyes and skittles