A/N: I would like to thank you guys for all the reviews, you are the reason I keep writing. This was supposed to be a little one shot thingy, but you guys made me continue and you rock!

Deep sobs -
That start beneath my heart
and hold my body in a grip that hurts.
The lump that swells inside my throat
brings pain that tries to choke.
Then tears course down my cheeks -
I drop my head in my so empty hands
abandoning myself to deep dark grief
and know that with the passing time
will come relief.
That though the pain may stay
There soon will come a day
When I can say your name
and be at peace.

-Norah Leney

There are lots of things big brothers aren't supposed to see. Like the distant flashing lights of an oncoming ambulance, the bloodied broken body of their younger selves, the sympathetic stares from the people that are only trying to do their job, but know it's fruitless, and most of all, the flat line that represents what used to be a beating, living, loving heart.

There are lots of things that big brothers aren't supposed to hear. Like the screech of tires and shattering glass, the wail of pain from their very soul, and most of all the shudder and the harsh whisper of, "this kid's gonna die."

There are lots of things that big brothers aren't supposed to go through. Like preparing themselves for death, seeing the shadow overtake them without having any control, and most of all, loosing what family they had left, but unfortunately nothing brings back the dead.

Dean couldn't see, but he'd be damned if he left Sam's broken body, and he was riding in that ambulance even if it killed him. The tears would come with time, but right now Dean held his brother's bloodied, lifeless hand a shocked and hollow look in his eyes and a gaping hole in his heart. He tried to talk but the words got stuck behind the lump in his throat and it was Collins that told the medics Sam's name. He became a mute, not saying a word the entire ambulance ride, just staring, holding his brother's hand with all the fight that was left in him, but eventually even that comfort was ripped away. He was left in a sterile waiting room his brother wrenched from his grasp, and when the physical contact ended, so did his ability to hold back. He wanted to scream, to punch a very large hole in the wall and kill something…anything. But he couldn't, it wouldn't help anything, Sammy was dead. Collins was there as was Cora, but they were keeping their distance. They watched him with their worry filled eyes, their souls filled to the brim with pity and Dean couldn't take it. He didn't need pity, he never wanted it, yet the people around him forced it down his throat. Poor man loosing all he's got, tough guy, beaten down with no control. Dean's eyes suddenly cleared of the overwhelming tears and he walked confidently over to Collins.

"You" he snarled and Collins back up against the wall, he did not want to get in a fight, but they were in a hospital so at least the location was convenient.

"Look, I know you've got to be hurting n-" Dean shut him up with a look as cold as ice but quickly tried to appear more docile as he prepared to ask for a favor...a big one.

"Listen, I've got a job for you, you think you can handle it?"

Doctor Allison Mitchell was having a bad day, her hair was a mess, her intern was an idiot, and her boss was a jackass. However, the patient that came in bloodied and bruised after a major accident was the worst of it by far. The kid was in his early twenties and would have been rather handsome if he wasn't so broken. His forearms were practically in pieces and his body was littered with cuts and bruises from sharp pieces of windshield, many of which were still lodged in his body. There had to be extensive internal bleeding, and major head trauma. She had seen worse in her fifteen years on the job, enough blood to make her question her choice of profession, but the thing that broke her heart was the family. The kid, Sam, had to be ripped from his brother's arms so she could see if she could salvage any life left in his soulful eyes. She was focused on the patient, but her heart nearly stopped when she saw the look on his big brother's face. He looked so hopeless, so devastated. She saw the look of utter failure in his features and she knew he would trade places with Sam in a heartbeat. One final glance towards him as she rushed into the ER made up her mind, this kid was not going to die.

"Wait, you want me to dig up this guy, and burn him?" Collins was more then a little skeptical of the despondent Dean who wanted him to destroy a mans corpse.

"Salt it first, and then burn it, yes." Dean didn't have time for this; he just needed Collins to trust him. He could see the reproach in Collins' eyes and his stomach knotted. "Please, you have to; I can't leave…not now." Collins felt bad for Dean, and although it killed Dean to play off of pity this had to be done, and he couldn't do it. Collins looked over at Cora who raised her eyebrows at him and shrugged. Dean shifted his weight from one foot to the other in desperation.

"Drake…" Cora's voice was full of sympathy and apprehension but he ignored herand nodded.

"Okay man, I'll salt this dude and fry him up." Dean's face filled with relief as he explained to Collins just what he had to do.

"You'll have to pick up some salt somewhere. I had some in my trunk but…." His voice trailed off and Collins nodded wanting to avoid any inkling of emotion.

"No problem." He was halfway out the door when Cora caught up with him and grabbed him roughly by the arm, the baby still on her hip.

"You're not actually going to do this are you?" She asked and Collins sighed putting his hands in his pockets. She raised her eyebrows and shook her head, "I don't believe it... you are going to do this…why?" Collins ran a hand through his hair as he tried to explain his actions with words. He tried to rationalize his thinking, but he couldn't, he just had this feeling that he needed to help.

"Just trust me, Cora." He said and she nearly laughed.

"Trust you? Drake, I know you too well to trust you." He smiled and kissed her cheek,

"I'll be fine, Corry, I promise." She didn't believe him but she had no choice but to let him go. He walked out the door and she watched him go with a sigh. She turned around giving Dean a skeptical look and sitting back down on the uncomfortable plastic chair. A few seconds later Collins appeared through the door again a disbelieving look on his face.

"Dean" his voice was full of shock, "is that your car, out there?" Dean immediately jumped up and jogged over to the parking lot an indescribable mix of hope and dread in his heart.

Sure enough, there in the parking lotloaded and waiting was Dean's baby. Dean didn't know what to think. The last time he had seen his car it had been crumpled between two big rigs and now it looked good as new, but he didn't have time to think about it, Sam needed him.

"Here" Dean tossed the keys to Collins, "the salt is in the back." Collins looked at the keys in his hands and back at Dean,

"Are you sure?" He asked eyebrows raiseed;but Dean really didn't have time to think of it as Collins driving his car. His brother needed him to be there and that bastard needed to be burned up.

"You crash her, I'll kill you" he said pointing an accusing finger towards Collins who laughed a little and hopped in. Cora was watching from the doorway and she was more then doubtful when Dean walked back in.

"How is that possible?" She asked eyes transfixed on the black Impala in the parking lot. He stared of into space for a second before coming back to the waiting room.

"It's…not."

Dr. Mitchell was working very hard to save Sam, but she didn't know if it would be possible. He had gone into cardiac arrest almost immediately, and although she had been able to stabilize him using a defibrillator he was put on a number of machines to keep him alive. A respirator did his breathing for him as she picked out the hundreds of pieces of glass from his body. She splinted his arms and made him as comfortable as possible, but she really didn't think that he was going to make it, and she dreaded having to break this news to the brother.

"So, if you knew what was going to happen, why'd you get in that car?" Cora and Dean had been talking for a while, and the doctors still hadn't made an appearance.

"It was either me or Sam, and I thought that….well I was supposed to, it wasn't supposed to be him… he's so stupid!" Cora smiled sadly and almost reached out to him, but decided that that would make him uncomfortable; he didn't seem like the kind of guy that was open with his emotions.

"Well, tell me that if it was him, you wouldn't have done the same thing." Her eyes were honest and blunt and he respected that, so maybe that's why he answered.

"I can't, but that's a non-issue, it's never Sam who's supposed to die, I'm supposed to die for him." Cora didn't know what to think; luckily she was saved from having to respond by Dr. Mitchell who entered the waiting room as if on cue. She didn't have his name, but she recognized the brother instantly.

"Excuse me; are you Sam Winchester's brother?" She asked and Dean nodded standing up to face her. Her eyes were sad and Dean could tell almost immediately that whatever she had to say wouldn't be good. "He's suffered multiple severe injuries, including internal injuries, complex fractures of his forearms, and loss of blood." Dean didn't like the sound of multiple severe injuries and his breath got caught inside of his chest. "Now, he's hooked up to a respirator and several other life machines, but I'm afraid that it doesn't look like it's going to get any better from here." Dean just stood there, the lump in his throat was suffocating him and the tears that were in his eyes were threatening to fall and he wasn't going to let that happen.

"Can I see him?" He asked already looking over her shoulder at the cold hallway behind the bulky doors. She let out a sigh and was hesitant to let him see his brother in the state that she had left him in, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep this man from his family.

"Sure, he might not be pretty though." Dean couldn't help but crack a signature smirk,

"Well, Sammy has never been the pretty one." He said as she walked him back to Sam's room. Dean had seen Sam at his worst on multiple occasions, bloodied and bruised flesh didn't make him queasy, yet when he walked into that hospital room he felt like he had just gone four rounds with an angry demon. Dr. Mitchell backed out and Dean was left with his little brother's shell of a body. Something about the beeps of the machines and the staleness of the air felt very, permanent…very terminal. He pulled up a chair that was slightly more comfortable then the ones in the waiting room to Sam's bed and let out a sigh.

"You are one stupid son of a bitch, you know that Sammy?" He groaned eyeing over the bruises and cuts that marred his younger brother's body. "Why the hell did you grab that wheel, huh? If you ever do anything like that again…ever, so help me God I will kill you." He looked at Sam as if he was expecting a response, but the only one he got was the beep of the heart monitor. "Come on Sammy" Dean's voice was getting more and more desperate as the silence in the room grew around him and threatened to swallow him whole. "You have to wake up, you can't die here…not like this. You know I'll kill myself, you know that don't you? What did you think you were doing? Did you think you were saving me, Sammy? Well you weren't, you were killing me." He sighed again and put his head in his hands and continued speaking to the floor. "You know my car showed up here totally fixed. I half expected to come back here and see you were completely fixed too, wishful thinking, I guess. I don't know what's going on Sam. I sent that cop to go burn up the guy, I hope he does it, he's got my car, man, I wish you would just wake up and tell me what we should do next, what we research should…..come on Sammy, we don't have time for this."

Collins had dug up the body salted it and burned it, and he felt like an idiot. He was putting the salt and shovel back in the trunk of the car when he realized just how ridiculous he must look. The faith that he had in the Winchester brothers seemed totally unfounded, but he really just wanted to help. It was something like a Superman complex, he didn't want the cowboys to get shot, he didn't want the heroes to die.

He climbed into the Impala and started back towards the hospital. He was halfway there when he saw the soft glow of headlights in front of him. It looked like a car was heading the wrong way, right towards him. He honked the horn but the car kept coming, and this wasn't just a mini van, this was an eighteen wheeler. He leaned on the horn, and when he looked in the rearview mirror he saw one coming up from behind him as well. He was trapped between two massive trucks, with no way out.The last sound he heard was the screech of tires before it all went black.

Dean had Sam's hand in his. He realized that this constituted a show of emotions that was borderline girly, but he needed to know that his brother was still warm, was still alive. The steady beep of the monitor also reassured him that Sam was still in there some where, somewhere inside there was still a Sammy to hold onto. However, it was a brief comfort as the beeps got farther and farther apart, and finally the beeps stopped and were replaced by one steady, long, terrifying noise. "Sammy? Sam!" Dean stood up and threw open the door, "hey, hey, help!" He yelled down the hallway for anyone with a stethoscope and a degree to save his brother. Dr. Mitchell heard his cries and rushed in, followed by a few nurses in scrubs. She immediately started barking orders to them but the only one that Dean heard was,

"Please remove his brother" Dean's eyes turned frantic.No. If he wasn't there then he couldn't watch over Sam, if he couldn't watch over Sam, thenhis little brothermight die.

"No, no I can't leave" Dean wasn't going to compromise but the nurse grabbed his arm, ignoring his statement and started to usher him out of the room as the constant beep echoed in Dean's brain. "No, you don't understand…" His voice was desperate but the nurse just shook her head and kept pushing him out.

"I'm sorry, Sir, you're going to have to exit so the doctors can help your brother." Dean struggled as hard as he could but the old woman with the grip on his forearm was stronger then he expected, and he didn't want to hit an old lady.

"No, please, Ma'me...please." He was still pleading with the medical team as the door got shut sympathetically in his face, the wrinkled woman frowning at him with empathy was the last sight he saw inside of that horrible room. He tried to peer through the small window on the door but he couldn't see much and he could hear hurried footsteps behind him and in desperation he cried out,

"Sammy!"