Chapter 8

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

"Hands Open", Snow Patrol

Calleigh opened the front door on Sunday afternoon to find Horatio standing on the doorstep. "Hey," she said, with a smile. She'd about forgotten that he'd said he'd come by on Sunday.

"Hi," he said, smiling back.

"Hang on," she said, sticking a foot out to block Toast from darting out. "Oh, no you don't, Mr. Escape Artist," she said, pushing him back. "Come on in," she said, to Horatio.

"Does he do that every time the door opens?" Horatio asked.

"Most times," she said. "I don't think Tim even notices it anymore. I've gotten used to it."

"Where is Speed, anyway?" he asked. "I didn't see his car."

"He went to the store," she shrugged. "He was going to clean off the back porch and discovered the spray nozzle for the hose was broken."

"Ah," Horatio said. "So, how are you doing? Have you been relaxing?"

"If you call steam cleaning the carpets relaxing, sure," she said, shrugging.

"Why on Earth would you be steam cleaning the carpets?" Horatio asked, confused.

She sighed. "Tim's parents are coming on Tuesday. He's going a bit crazy with the cleaning."

"Ah," Horatio nodded. "I thought it looked a little cleaner than usual in here."

"A little?" she asked, incredulously. "Horatio, this place is gleaming. It's practically blinding!"

He shrugged. "Is it keeping him out of trouble?"

"Well, yes," she admitted.

"And is it keeping him from panicking?" he asked.

"Mostly, I think, yes," she admitted.

"Then let him clean," Horatio shrugged.

"I just don't want him tiring himself out. He's still not supposed to be doing really strenuous things," she said. "To be fair, though, he did wait and let me help with most of the heavy stuff."

"Good," Horatio said. "He'll be fine, Calleigh."

"I know," she said. "But I really don't know what he's going to do after they go. They're not clearing him to go back to work for at least another month."

"Yes, I saw the schedule," Horatio nodded.

"You saw the post-traumatic schedule," Calleigh said. "I doubt he mentioned that aside from the counseling that the doctors won't clear him medically until he gains a total of 10 pounds."

"That might take awhile," Horatio allowed. "How many does he have to go?"

"Seven," she sighed. "And he's barely averaging a pound a week. So it's looking more like mid-February, or even March. He's going to get bored long before that. Hell, I think more than a little of this cleaning frenzy is boredom anyway. I don't really want to think about what sort of trouble he could get up to if he's out of work for another two months. It's more than wonderful that he's really starting to feel better, but…"

Horatio nodded. "But Speed doesn't handle boredom very well," he finished.

"Exactly," she sighed.

"Well, I have an idea to deal with that," he said.

"You do?" Calleigh asked, surprised.

"I do." Horatio confirmed. "I don't know if he'll go for it, though."

"What is it?" she asked.

Horatio pulled a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket and handed it to her. "I thought that since he was still going to be out of work for several weeks yet, he might consider something like this."

She unfolded the paper and found a description of a graduate program in forensics and criminology offered at UM. "Huh," she said. "I don't know," she said, finally. "It would probably keep him out of trouble, sure enough, but I'd be concerned it would give him something else to obsess over. He uses work to avoid things, you know that, right?"

Horatio nodded. "I know, but I'd think obsession requires more energy than he has right now."

She laughed. "You'd be surprised." She folded the paper back up. "Ask him, I guess. But don't be surprised if he's resistant to the idea. From what he's said, he didn't exactly enjoy college."

"Who didn't enjoy college?" Tim said, as he came through the breezeway door carrying a box of pizza and a handful of shopping bags.

"I didn't even hear you pull up," Calleigh said, frowning as she came forward to take the pizza box from him.

He shrugged. "Who didn't enjoy college?" he repeated. "Hi, H."

"You didn't, apparently," Horatio said, nodding hello.

"Oh," Tim said, setting the bags on the table. "I don't know if that's entirely true," he said, as he started to unpack the bags. "There were some things I liked. I liked the classes well enough, most of the time."

"Ah," Calleigh said. "What did you get at Target?" she asked, half out of a desire to distract from the conversation she and Horatio had been having about him, and half out of wonderment that he'd braved Target five days before Christmas.

"New bedsheets," he said, glancing up at her.

"Oh…ok…" she said, blinking.

"You said the sheets on the bed were getting threadbare," he said, as he shoved the bags into the bag holder on the inside of the breezeway door. "So I got new ones."

"You're right, I just didn't expect you'd go get new sheets right away," she explained.

He shrugged. "I was right by there. You staying for dinner, H?"

"Sure," Horatio said, nodding.

"Good thing I got the large pizza, then," he said, nodding. "I'm going to throw the sheets in the washer, I'll be right back."

Calleigh and Horatio exchanged a look as he left the room. She shrugged. "Well, all right then."

"I guess," Horatio said, shrugging back.

She shook her head bemusedly as she got some plates and glasses. "There's sweet tea and there's Coke," she said.

"Tea is fine," Horatio said, accepting the plates.

"Tim? You want tea or Coke?" she called out.

"Whichever," he called back.

"Tea it is, then," she said, getting the pitcher from the fridge.

Tim reappeared and sat down. "So, why does it matter that I didn't like college?" he asked, as he took a slice of pizza.

"Well, I was thinking, since you'll be on leave yet for awhile, you might want something to do," Horatio said, after a glance at Calleigh. "So, I talked to someone I know over at UM and she pointed out that they've got a graduate program for forensics and criminology," he said, handing over the sheet of paper.

Tim took it, and read it. "Hmm," he said, looking thoughtful as he took a bite of pizza. "Aren't I likely to know most of this already?" he asked.

"Well, I did talk to someone in the department, and they did say that with 10 years of experience, they'd be more than willing to let you test out of a fair amount of the introductory classes if you wanted to do the degree program," Horatio replied. "So, yes, it's likely you'll know a lot, but I think there might be enough to challenge you a bit. And there are options for independent research, which I think you'd like," he added. "You never get enough time to play with the stuff that interests you at the lab. We're always too busy trying to get results."

"True," he said. "But H, I'm on short term disability right now. And that's just barely enough to pay the mortgage and the bills. I don't think I can afford to do this."

"The department would pay for it, Speed," Horatio said.

He laughed a bit. "What, like they aren't spending enough money on me right now?"

"Tim, you were injured in the line of duty. The department is obligated to pay for your recovery," Calleigh pointed out.

"I know. And I'm glad they are, because I doubt I could," he said. "I'm just saying, isn't asking for tuition money a bit much?"

"Different budgets," Horatio said. "Besides, you're more than eligible for job-related education expenses. You have been for years. Trust me, the department will pay for it."

"Mmm," Tim said, leaning back in his chair.

"Plus, this would give you some options for later," Horatio said. "Just in case."

"Just in case I decide not to go back into the field, you mean," Tim said, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes," Horatio nodded.

Speed nodded slowly. "Ok, I'll buy that." He tilted his head and looked at Calleigh. "You don't like the idea," he said.

She shrugged. "I don't know. It depends on whether you're likely to get as obsessive over school as you are with work."

He smiled. "Ah," he said. He took another bite of pizza as he seemed to consider his answer. "I don't think that's very likely."

"You don't?" Calleigh asked, raising her eyebrows at him. "You were awfully single minded about school, from what I hear."

"Sure, yes, I was," he said. "I had reason to be."

"And you don't now?" Calleigh said.

He sighed. "Not…not for the same reasons," he said, slowly. "No, I think it would be different, now."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Calleigh started to apologize, but he waved it off.

"No, it's fine. Really. But that's not why I think it would be different this time," he said.

"Why would it, then?" Horatio asked.

"Well, for one thing, I'd be doing this because I wanted to, not because I was…trying to fix something," he said, chewing on his bottom lip. He smiled suddenly at Calleigh. "And besides, I highly doubt either of you two, Alexx or Andy would let me get obsessive about anything right now, anyway."

"Well, there is that," Calleigh admitted.

"True," Horatio agreed.

"So this is viable, then," he said, looking at Calleigh.

"All right, yes," she relented. "You're right."

He smirked at her, and she kicked him under the table. "Ow," he complained. She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed. Horatio just raised an eyebrow at the two of them. "All right, then," he said. "But I don't see how I'd be able to do this right now. Wouldn't I have to apply and start in the fall and all that?"

"You would have to go and talk to someone in the department," Horatio said. "But they're apparently willing to let you register for a class or two as a non-degree student for the winter quarter. And then once you're officially in the program, those credits would apply retroactively."

"If I get in," Tim said.

"Oh, come on, Tim. You graduated from Columbia with honors and you have 10 years of experience in the field. I can't imagine them not accepting you," Calleigh said. "They might even pay for you to do it."

He shrugged. "It might be pretty competitive. And my records from Columbia aren't entirely… impressive. There's that nice big gap in the middle and the semester of failing grades because I didn't exactly bother to withdraw properly when I skipped town. I graduated with honors, sure, but that was due to my thesis work, not my GPA."

"I imagine they'll take your experience into account more than your GPA, Speed," Horatio pointed out.

"Yeah," Calleigh nodded. "You've done more than enough to account for that."

"Maybe," he said, his face twisting into one of his more inscrutable expressions. Calleigh was never quite sure if that expression meant he agreed with what was being said, or if he was mentally berating himself for some imagined weakness. "I'd have to take the GREs, I bet," he sighed.

"More than likely, yes," Horatio said.

He laughed quietly. "I haven't taken a standardized test since I was maybe 16."

"Other than departmental exams," Calleigh said.

"Doesn't count. Not really," Tim said. "The rank is illusionary, anyway."

"It is not," she said.

He shook his head. "Yours isn't. Mine is." She opened her mouth to protest that, but he shook his head again. "It's fine, Cal. I have reasons, ok?"

She sighed. "Fine." Obviously there was something he didn't want to tell her. She glanced sidelong at Horatio, surprised that he hadn't contradicted Tim with her, but he just looked at her expressionlessly over the rim of his glass. "I think you can handle the GRE, Tim," she said, moving the conversation onward.

"Oh, probably," he said, shrugging. "It's just been awhile. It's amusing."

"So you think you want to do this?" Horatio asked.

"I think you two are just looking for a way to keep me out of trouble, is what I think," Tim replied.

"The thought had crossed my mind," Horatio admitted.

Tim laughed. "Thought so. I'll think about it, how's that."

"Sure," Horatio said. "You've got until the 3rd to really make up your mind, they said."

"Ok," he said. "Anyone want to help wash the back porch?" he asked as he pushed away from the table.

"No, not really," Calleigh said. "It can wait for the morning, can't it? It's getting dark."

He smiled. "I was kidding, Cal. I'm gonna do it in the morning."

She rolled her eyes. "Lovely."

"Well, my folks are really looking forward to not being buried under a foot of snow. I'm guessing we'll be using the porch, so it might be nice if the furniture was at least somewhat clean," he said, shrugging.

"Fair enough," Calleigh said. "But not tonight."

"No, not tonight," he agreed.

"Good, because I'm tired," she said. "And I'm supposed to be relaxing," she added, looking at Horatio.

"She has a point," Horatio agreed.

"Fine, fine," Tim said, throwing up his hands. "What's relaxing?"

"I don't know about you, but I could stand another round in the perpetual Trivial Pursuit tournament," she said, grinning slyly.

"Getting your ass kicked is relaxing?" he countered.

"Who said I was getting my ass kicked? I'm ten points behind Horatio, last I looked," she said. "That's not exactly a huge margin, there."

"Yeah, but I'm 30 points up on H, so that puts you in last place, doesn't it?" Tim smirked.

"Humph," she said. "Go get the game, smartass."

Tim laughed as he left the room. She smiled after him. "God, that's such a good sound," she sighed.

"It is, isn't it?" Horatio agreed.

She closed her eyes and nodded. Yes, yes it was.