Chapter 10

And as I've often asked before
Does anybody know
How scary
This is for you and is for me?
Does anybody know?

"Natasha", Rufus Wainwright

Calleigh watched Tim closely on the ten minute walk back to the house. He was definitely fading fast. Too much excitement, she thought. Melissa seemed a bit concerned, too, but Calleigh couldn't tell if it was because Tim seemed so tired or if something had happened to raise her concern. But Tim seemed mostly fine to her, chatting amiably, if tiredly, with his dad, so she didn't worry.

They entered the house and kept the cats from escaping, and Tim looked around and said. "Right, then, there's the air mattress and…"

"I got it, Tim," Calleigh said quietly. "Why don't you go on and go to bed, huh?"

"I gotta call Alexx," he protested.

"Ok, call Alexx, then go to bed. I can make sure everyone gets what they need," Calleigh said, watching his family disperse into the living room and kitchen.

"Ok," he acquiesced. "I'm tired."

"I know," she said, with a smile. "Go sleep, I'm sure the rest of us won't be too far behind."

"All right," he said. He leaned over to where his mom was sitting. "Night, Mom."

"Goodnight, sweetie. Sleep tight."

"I will. Night, Dad," he said, straightening up.

"Goodnight, Little Man. See you in the morning," his dad replied.

"Yup," he said, as he wandered off towards the bedroom.

"Mom, can I call Raina?" Matt asked, poking his head into the living room.

"Sure, sweetie," Melissa said, with a glance at Calleigh.

"You get pretty good reception out on the porch," Calleigh said, catching the meaning behind the glance. Obviously Melissa wanted to say something she didn't necessarily want Matt to hear.

"Great, thanks," Matt said, disappearing back into the kitchen. They heard the sliding door open and close.

"I didn't imagine he'd be able to go all day without calling her," Danny said, amusedly. "Raina's his girlfriend," he explained to Calleigh.

"Aw," Calleigh said, with a smile. "Cute."

"They are," Melissa sighed. "Anyway, I'm glad he's calling her, because I want to ask you something."

"I guessed," Calleigh said, nodding as she sat down in the armchair.

"When we were out on the beach," Melissa started, hesitantly. "Tim and I were talking and then all of a sudden it was like he sort of…shut down a moment. Now, I'm used to Tim kind of spacing out in the middle of a conversation, but not quite like that…"

"Ah," Calleigh said, as she suddenly understood why Tim had suddenly seemed like he'd hit the wall. "That was probably a not quite panic attack," she said calmly.

"He said they happen when he gets tired," Melissa said, nodding.

"Yes. Or overwhelmed. Or upset. Or just at random," Calleigh sighed. "They're getting a lot better. If he can pull himself together within a minute or two, we're not worrying about them. If he can't, then we have to do something. It's part of the anxiety issues that the doctor thinks is causing a lot of the problems right now. But really, he's doing considerably better. There was a long time where he was having several full blown panic attacks a day, and now he's down to just these little moments most of the time," she reassured them.

"He said they were getting better, yes," Melissa said. "It's just that he's not always the best judge of that sort of thing."

Calleigh laughed. "No, he's really not, is he?" She smiled. "He's right this time, though. They are getting better. He's getting better. Believe me, the fact that he had enough energy to go out to dinner and then go down to the beach for awhile is a vast, vast improvement. It's not so long ago that he was sleeping half the day and 9 or 10 hours at night. He's almost got enough energy to be bored, even."

"I hope he's come up with something to do," Danny said. "Tim and boredom do not mix."

"Oh, we've noticed," Calleigh said. "We're working on it."

"How long until he can go back to work?" Danny asked.

Calleigh sighed. "It's not entirely clear. There's a schedule that puts him back part time in about a month, but I think it's overly optimistic. I'm sure you noticed how much weight he's lost?" she asked.

"God, yes, he's emaciated. I've never seen him so skinny," Melissa said, shuddering slightly. "I didn't like to say anything, since he can be so self-conscious sometimes, but he wasn't even this bad when he came back from having run away, and I thought he was much too thin then."

Danny nodded in agreement. "Can I ask…do you know how much he lost?"

"We're not entirely sure," Calleigh admitted. "He weighed 153 at his physical in July, so they used that as the official starting point, since he doesn't have any idea what he weighed in September. At the lowest point, he was 128.5."

"My god," Melissa breathed. "That's less than I weigh. That's 25 pounds, almost!"

"I know," Calleigh nodded. "That was the point where the doctor said if he lost any more they'd admit him to the hospital for a feeding tube. Thankfully, we didn't have to go that far. To be fair, Alexx and I don't think he started at 153. We think he'd lost about 5 pounds somewhere between July and September. I remember telling him he was starting to get too thin the week before everything happened, and with as skinny as he is, we usually notice when he gets to be about 5 pounds off of normal. But still, 20 pounds is a lot."

"Has he gained any back?" Danny asked.

"Three pounds," Calleigh sighed. "He didn't gain anything until they got the braces on him, but it's starting to creep back up now. But it's been difficult. His appetite is nearly non-existent, although he's gotten a lot better about eating whether he's hungry or not. His stomach is still a mess; a good half of the medication he's on yet is to deal with that. He came pretty close to an ulcer, the doctor said, but we caught it in time."

"Tim's been on the edge of an ulcer half his life," Melissa sighed. "I can't say I'm surprised."

"Yeah, he said it wasn't a new thing. But it's getting treated now, so hopefully it won't be quite so much of an issue in the future. If you had intentions of feeding him up while you're here- and by all means, please do so- you might want to stay away from anything really greasy or spicy. Or meat, either. He can eat meat again, but there was a long time where he couldn't chew it well, so he wasn't eating it, and now it's not going over really well," Calleigh said.

"No problem. But I hope the doctors understand that this is an uphill battle. He's always been skinny- we spent half of his adolescence trying to keep him from slipping under the 5th percentile, weight wise," Danny said.

"They're getting the picture," Calleigh nodded. "But at any rate, to answer your first question as to when he can go back to work, the doctor won't approve it until he's had a net gain of 10 pounds. I'm guessing that probably won't be until nearly March, if not later."

"Lord," Danny sighed. "What does he think about all this?"

Calleigh shrugged. "It's hard to say. On one hand, I think he's half relieved. On the other hand, I think he's a bit frustrated."

"Poor guy," Melissa said.

"Yeah," Calleigh agreed. "He'll make it, though."

Tim's parents seemed to muse on what she'd told them. She let them think in peace. After awhile, she heard the sliding door open again, and Matt wandered into the living room.

"Um, Ms. Duquesne?" he asked, hesitantly.

She smiled. "You can call me Calleigh, Matt. It's ok," she said, slightly amused at the propriety.

"Um, yes, ma'am. Uh, Calleigh," he said, a bit flustered, especially when he realized his parents were also somewhat amused. "I didn't want to just go rummaging through the cupboards or the fridge, but is there…well, could I maybe get something to eat?" he asked, finally.

Danny laughed. "Maybe we ought to switch your appetite for your brother's for awhile."

"That could work," Calleigh said, laughing as well. "Come on, Matt, let's see what we've got," she said, getting up and leading him into the kitchen. She opened one of the cupboards and said, "How's cereal sound?"

"That would be great, thanks," he said, reaching up to pick one of the boxes as her gesture.

She handed him a bowl and got the milk for him. "Ok, that's taken care of then. Now, I know you're probably going to stay up far later than either your parents or me, so if you get hungry again later, you can eat whatever you like. The bread is in the fridge and there's peanut butter in the cabinet with the cereal. There's also some fruit in the fridge. Ok?"

"Yes, thank you," Matt said, ducking to hide a blush.

She laughed. "No problem. Now, speaking of staying up late, just as a warning, everything is on one floor in this house, and the walls aren't incredibly thick, either. You can feel free to watch TV or something, but remember that the television can be heard in the room where your parents are sleeping if the volume is louder than 15, ok?"

"Got it," he nodded.

"All right, then. Tim's got it set up so the DVD player is the default choice, since we watch more DVDs than regular TV. If you want to watch TV, you have to hit the TV button on the remote. Also, the Playstation is in the cabinet under the television. To get it to work, you hit the Input 2 button on the skinny box to the right of the TV. Just don't overwrite Tim's Final Fantasy game, or he might have to kill you, ok?" she said, wryly.

Matt laughed. "I won't."

"Good deal, then. I'll just go get the air mattress down for you, and you'll be all set," she said, smiling.

"Thanks," Matt said, as he ate his cereal.

Calleigh went out to the breezeway to get the air mattress and air compressor off the shelf. She also snagged a pillow and a blanket and carried the whole mess back to the living room and set it next to the couch. "There, that's Matt taken care of," she said to Melissa and Danny. "I presume he can figure out an air mattress."

Melissa chuckled. "Oh yes."

"Good," she said. "Is there anything I can get for you guys? I know Tim left some towels and things out."

"He did, and he told me where to find things in the bathroom," Melissa assured her. "I think we're probably going to head on to bed. It's been a long day."

"No problem," Calleigh said. "I told Matt how to work the TV, and where to find more food, so I think he's probably set for the night."

"Food and television will definitely keep him entertained," Danny agreed, as he stood up and stretched. "Thank you for a lovely evening, Calleigh. And thank you for answering our questions."

"Oh, not at all. I'm glad I could," she said.

"I feel a lot better knowing there's people here who love him," Melissa said, seriously. "I still worry, but I don't worry nearly as much as I would, otherwise."

Calleigh blushed a bit. "Well, we worry, too."

"I know, dear. And I'm thankful for that, too," she said. "Good night."

"Good night," Calleigh said, as she nodded to Danny and watched them poke their head into the kitchen to say goodnight to Matt.

She sighed as she walked down the hall to Tim's bedroom and eased the door open. He was curled up and looked asleep, but he raised his head to look at her as she sat down on the bed after changing into her pajamas. "Hey," she said, softly. "Did we keep you up?"

"No," he said, frowning.

"Ok," she said.

"My parents wanted to talk to you?" he asked.

"Yeah, they did. I told them what they wanted to know, and they feel better about things, I think," she said.

"Good," he said, still frowning a bit. He was looking at her a little funny.

"You all right?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, in a tone that said that he wasn't, but he wanted to be.

"Is this ok? Would you rather I slept on the couch?" she asked.

"No," he said, firmly. "This is fine," he said, in that same I want this to be fine tone.

"All right, then," she said, stretching out next to him. He relaxed slightly and moved over to give her more room. She didn't say anything, but listened as his breathing slowed and deepened as he fell back asleep. She let herself be lulled to sleep as well.