Endeavor sighed as he heard a knock on his office door, "Enter."
The bandaged face of Kido, one of the Flaming Sidekickers, came in. He looked upon Endeavor's office, currently strewn with papers. News articles and photographs from police reports were pinned on cork boards and connected via string. White boards with dates and details scribbled on them were also present.
Kido sighed, "Boss, I think you need a break on this."
"The League hasn't been caught yet," Endeavor said. "There's a chance they may have disbanded, given that there were only three left and there was a breakdown in cohesion. If we keep the pressure up-"
"Sir, there are plenty of people actively searching for them," Kido interrupted. "You'll have a fresher perspective if you let this rest for a day or two, at least."
Endeavor said nothing, but the flames of his beard spiked, a sign of frustration.
"You won't bring in Touya any sooner if you exhaust yourself trying in vain to investigate his whereabouts," Kido said.
"Thin ice," Endeavor said. "I'm still your employer."
"You're down to a tenth of your staff," Kido replied. "I think I'm fine."
Endeavor let out a noncommittal grunt. Of his thirty-four sidekicks, only Kido, Onima, and Burnin' remained with his agency, and that didn't count the mass exodus of his remaining employees. Endeavor didn't begrudge them. He knew associating with him had gone from a feather in one's cap to a black mark.
Still, he countered with, "You're free to join your ex-coworkers if you find me that distasteful."
Kido seemed to scowl beneath his bandages, "Look, you may have royally fucked everything up in your personal life, but you're still the Number One Pro Hero. The Flaming Sidekickers are here to save lives, put away villains, and solve cases, and this agency is still the best place to do that. Nothing else matters."
"Then allow me to continue doing just that," Endeavor countered.
"Two problems there, boss. First, you're not going to magically find a way to fix this by self-flagellation. You fucked up, but kicking yourself over it helps nobody, particularly if you let it interfere with your other work."
"And the second?" Endeavor said, seemingly uncaring.
"Your youngest is here for his appointment," Kido replied.
Endeavor blinked as he turned around. He checked his phone. Sure enough, Shouto had texted him several times to mention that he'd arrived. He simply hadn't noticed, he was so focused…
Sighing, the Flame Hero finally conceded in his head. He got up, nodding to Kido, who clearly relished the victory.
As they approached, he heard Burnin's bombastic voice, "Amazing! All of you first years got Provisional Licenses on your first try?!"
"Yes. That fact left one of my classmates catatonic," Shouto added. "He was hoping at least one member of 1-A would fail."
"I must say that Monoma-kun's commitment to the inter-class rivalry seems detrimental to him!" came a voice that Endeavor heard once before, in Hosu. "I can understand the concept of Plus Ultra, but I feel that he would be more effective if he placed his efforts more into personal growth rather than attempting to one-up his fellows!"
"He's actually gotten better once Fuki-kun joined our class," Shouto continued. "More concerned with helping us all rise up."
"That's wonderful to hear!" the boy was interrupted when Endeavor entered the room, Kido right behind him.
Endeavor hid his wince at Shouto's stare. Ever since learning from Hisashi that his mother's parenting was outright abusive rather than simply strict, he'd been second guessing every single past interaction he'd ever had with his family. He didn't like what he had learned about himself.
He'd fully expected that Shouto wouldn't have approached him for a possible work-study position. He was pleasantly surprised that his son contacted him. When he did, Shouto had requested that Endeavor consider other students for positions as well.
It was a reasonable concession. Endeavor had secretly hoped the Midoriya boy would take up the offer. It would be some way to pay back Hisashi for his help.
Instead, the only student to join his son was the youngest heir of the Iida family. Tenya gave the Hero a polite bow, "Thank you for this opportunity, Endeavor-san!"
Endeavor nodded, "You're welcome. Give your brother my congratulations on his recovery."
Tenya sat down, "I shall!"
Sighing, Endeavor took a seat across from the two students. He looked at Tenya, "That having been said, I haven't yet agreed to grant you a position. Furthermore, I'm surprised that you're seeking a position with me. I would have assumed that you would intern with Celerity now that he's returned to active duty."
Tenya nodded stoically, "While I have dreamed of working as a Hero alongside my brother, I feel that it would be best to learn from multiple sources. My goal is to be a Hero that saves people swiftly and methodically, and I have trained for that my entire life. Your record as such a Hero is unquestioned, and the fact that a Hero like Kido-san has thrived in your agency shows me that someone with a Quirk like mine can be an asset for you."
Endeavor considered that. It was a good answer. Tenya had simultaneously provided a reason why he sought out Endeavor's agency and a reason for Endeavor to consider him. He'd done better work with worse talent.
However, there was a wrinkle to add, "I must warn you both that this will not be glamorous. I have always been a strict taskmaster," here, he deliberately avoided looking at Shouto, "but the situation regarding me has changed. Associating with me is no longer glorious. I have been jeered and spat on by passers-by. The people I save are sometimes among that number, and their gratitude can be begrudging, or nonexistent. My sidekicks aren't immune to this, and you won't be either."
The two students paused. Finally, Shouto said, "Well, I'm never going to escape my association with you, so I might as well learn more about how to be a Hero while I'm at it."
"I appreciate the warning," Tenya said. "I will face whatever slings and arrows come our way with dignity."
Tenya had initially thought against it when Shouto offered his class internship opportunities with Endeavor, but one thing he had learned from Gran Torino was the need for flexibility, both physical and mental. As such, learning from a competent Hero who was undergoing a scandal would be an excellent way of learning grace under fire.
"Very well," Endeavor stated. "We'll begin with an assessment of your skills. I will be going to our training room. Get changed into your Hero outfits and meet me there as soon as possible."
Endeavor walked to his training room and waited. He was surprised that Tenya made it there before his son. "How…?"
"When I accepted Shouto-kun's offer, I asked him for a map of your agency, Endeavor-san!" Tenya said, bowing in his suit of armor as Shouto strode in. "I made sure to memorize it before arriving today!"
Endeavor suppressed the urge to grin. He could work with this.
Izuku loved sparring with Melissa.
Well, truth be told, he loved sparring with all of his girlfriends (and enjoyed sparring with his peers in general), but being with Melissa for this was special. The sheer joy of another person being given a Quirk was wonderful.
He was certain that, at some point, he'd meet a Quirkless person who didn't want to have a power of their own. It'd take a while for Izuku to find that person.
Melissa shot him point blank in the chest with her blue lightning, the blast tingling against Shock Absorption. It was marvelous how the energy felt more like a punch than an actual bolt of lightning.
As Izuku mused on this, Melissa ran forwards, her left hand still supplying her lightning blasts while her right leaned back into a punch. Her muscles coiled, both figuratively and literally, as she punched him right in the chest, where the blast was centered. Izuku's breath left him as he was launched several feet back.
Managing to land on his feet, Izuku rubbed the sore spot, pain swiftly fading thanks to his regeneration. "Okay, that's something to be wary of, if Shock Absorption is dealing with one blow to a single area, then it's vulnerable to a follow-up attack."
Melissa smirked, which didn't quite reach her eyes, "Well, that's great data to have."
"And I can't believe how much Battery has improved!" Izuku added. "You're getting so much more powerful so quickly! It's breathtaking!"
Melissa's smile turned much more genuine, and her face began to turn strawberry red. Izuku loved seeing that on her muscled form. There was something about seeing a two meter tall woman with abs of steel blushing that was so endearing. "I mean, it started off with such little power that it can't help but improve… and, well, One for All kind of helps charge it…"
Izuku smiled, "That doesn't matter. You're getting better and better every day. It doesn't matter how."
Melissa hugged him, and he was thankful for Shock Absorption, because she'd gotten stronger. "Thanks. I needed that. And obviously, you'd be improving by leaps and bounds, given that it's been a few weeks since you started working with Miruko…"
"Was that a pun?" Izuku asked.
Melissa blinked, "Not intentionally, but I'll claim it now."
Izuku smiled, "Speaking of improving, I noticed your use of Springlike Limbs! You're doing so well with that Quirk!"
Melissa nodded, "I know! And it seems to be changing!" As a demonstration, she started to bend and contort her arm in unnatural ways. "It's like the aesthetics of Battery combined with a similar Quirk! Now it functions a lot like, what was it you called it? Contortion? The limb bending you can do thanks to our Sharing Bond?"
Izuku nodded, "Wow! And, yeah, Contortion is the shorthand I chose… hmm…"
There was a cough in their minds as the vestiges chose to interrupt. "Sorry to break this up," Yoichi said, "but you have a resource that you could easily use to answer your questions…"
Izuku facepalmed as he realized what he was forgetting, "Quirk Understanding?"
Yes, Midoriya-sama?
"What's going on with Melissa-chan and Springlike Limbs?" Izuku asked the sentient Quirk.
I believe I should start by stating that your hypothesis that both you and Shield-sama had unusable Quirk factors that influenced your uses of ONE FOR ALL is correct, Quirk Understanding stated. Quirkless individuals come in two varieties. The first, those who have no Quirked individuals in their ancestry and maintained no exposure to the source of Quirks. This first group is unlikely to exist, given that even remote, isolated tribes have produced people with Quirks…
"Wait, do you know the source of Quirks?!" Melissa asked. "We still haven't figured it out!"
Apologies, Shield-sama, but we do not have that information.
Melissa sighed, "It makes sense. It would've been too easy to have the answer to one of the greatest mysteries of science handed to us by an omniscient Quirk."
"Pretty sure the scientific community doesn't accept, 'my Quirk told me, trust me, bro' as an acceptable source," Banjou replied.
"But that does indicate that there is an external source for Quirks that affects people, so perhaps the disease-vector hypothesis has some merit? Specifically the idea that the initial virus infects the gametes and not somatic cells?" Izuku asked.
Should we postpone our explanation, Midoriya-sama? Quirk Understanding interrupted.
"Oh, sorry, no," Izuku replied, blushing.
The other variety of Quirklessness, more common in the modern day, is that a person possesses a negligible Quirk factor that cannot express itself. This is the case with Yagi-sama, as well as the two of you. Yagi-sama possesses minor Quirk factors that resemble gigantification Quirks. Shield-sama possesses minor Quirk factors that resemble pliability Quirks. And Midoriya-sama possesses minor Quirk factors that resemble electrical Quirks. ONE FOR ALL and BATTERY cannot boost these factors to do anything significant, but they influence the way you use those Quirks.
As such, when Shield-sama was exposed to SPRINGLIKE LIMBS thanks to BONDING, she automatically latched onto the Quirk, a copy was imprinted onto BATTERY, and it merged with her minor Quirk factors and stockpiled energy to expand the scope of her copy of SPRINGLIKE LIMBS.
"Wait, what?!" Melissa cried out loud, before returning to telepathy, "I copied Springlike Limbs?!"
BATTERY is identical to ONE FOR ALL, including its ability to absorb and replicate Quirks that it is exposed to.
"Huh. So you CAN transfer Battery like Izuku can for One for All…" Yoichi mused.
Yes, that is possible, Shigaraki-sama.
"Did I copy any other Quirks?" Melissa asked.
Not yet. More time and use of the Quirks taken directly from Mugen Shigaraki will allow BATTERY to copy them.
"Guess we have a goal for you!" Izuku said, beaming. "Man, I wonder if I could have taken a Quirk that would work like that for me or Dad…"
Mugen Shigaraki currently possesses seventeen Quirks that would react in such a way for you, Midoriya-sama, such as LIGHTNING BREATH, TASER, and ENHANCED NERVE IMPULSE. He has twenty-one Quirks that would react to Yagi-sama, including HYPERTROPHY, MUSCLE AUGMENTATION, and GIGANTIFICATION. An additional thirty-four would work for Shield-sama, such as QUADRUPLE-JOINTED, EXTENDABLE FINGERS, and RIVET STAB.
There was a pause, then Nana asked, "Quirk Understanding, do you know every Quirk that Mugen Shigaraki currently possesses?" in a tone that conveyed a thin veneer of attempted patience that was covering a pulsing mound of frustration.
Yes.
"Wait, how?!" Melissa asked.
We are able to exploit the connection between ONE FOR ALL and ALL FOR ONE. While the vestiges of the past users have successfully blocked the connection to prevent Mugen Shigaraki from spying on them or attempting to steal ONE FOR ALL, he does not maintain a similar defense on his end.
"Okay, the implications here are staggering, but maybe we should focus on the first question, which is how many Quirks does Shigaraki currently possess?" Isamu asked.
One thousand, six hundred, and forty-eight.
Out loud, Izuku whistled and said, "Looks like practice is over, I've got at least one notebook to fill out…"
Nezu frowned as he looked at the screen.
"What do you think?" came the voice of Sir Nighteye.
"These videos are disturbing," Nezu said. "The authors of this conspiracy have an agenda and are working to justify a conclusion they've predetermined is correct. Not to mention the fact that, despite being wrong, they have come close enough to aspects of the truth."
"What should we do about this?" Nighteye asked.
Nezu sighed, "Despite the amateur production of these videos, there are hints that the creator is being coached. I'll put the Desutaru Agency on investigating the source and any possible benefactors, but I'm afraid I have little in the way of actions I can directly take in this matter."
"What?" came Nighteye's confused reply.
"Sasaki-kun, despite my best efforts, I am not all powerful," Nezu said. "I have a great deal of direct control over U.A., an agency set up specifically to investigate causes outside that, a great deal of sway thanks to my connections to educational institutions and other pro Heroes, and I possess a budget that can best be described as 'yes', but I cannot simply point at a target and make them disappear."
"Hmm, that one alternate timeline regarding Endeavor made that abundantly clear," Nighteye conceded. "But we can't sit back and do nothing in the meantime!"
"Indeed," Nezu said. "I place my trust in All Might's public relations team regarding any rumors concerning him, but Midoriya…" he frowned. "He's something of a ghost online, and in the absence of any presence to counteract these rumors, and a dearth of information about him, these rumors are taking precedence."
Nighteye's scowl was evident despite not being visible, "And he was criticizing me for not following social media."
"He follows social media, he just doesn't participate after a severe cyberbullying campaign in elementary school," Nezu stated.
"Ah," Nighteye said, sympathetically. "That's fair, I suppose. Should we-"
"One second, Sasaki-kun," Nezu said, as he saw an email pop up. "I believe a solution has arrived on my doorstep… oh… oh my!" he said gleefully.
"What is it?" Nighteye asked.
"A concerned first-year student has discovered the videos and he has proposed a possible solution. It's quite detailed, it took me thirty seconds to read through it!" Given Nezu's intellect, such a length meant the proposal in question was a door stopper.
"You trust something like this in the hands of a student?" Nighteye asked, skeptically.
"I'm always looking for an opportunity to let my students thrive," Nezu responded. "Not to mention, U.A. has many prodigies attending. Izuku Midoriya and Mirio Togata among many others in the Hero Course, Mei Hatsume and Melissa Shield among the Support Course… the Business Course has its prodigies as well."
Nighteye sighed, "I suppose I'll take that as an endorsement, but we should have a backup in place."
"Indeed," Nezu stated. "Now, I have to contact Lunch Rush. We're going to need a lot of hakarl to get through this…"
"Midoriya-san?" Izuku did a double take in the cafeteria, and saw an unfamiliar face approaching him.
The fellow student addressing him was another green haired individual, the yellowish green of pickled cucumbers, that was in the form of a mohawk-like hairdo that resembled a hyena's mane. Beyond that, he looked fairly normal, save the fact that his shirt's front pocket contained several pens along with a toothbrush.
"Um, hello?" Izuku stated, unsure of why he was being approached. "How can I help you?"
"Takashi Nouenbou. Business Course, Class 1-J," Takashi bowed. "A pleasure to meet you. I have information that needs to be brought to your attention and I need to discuss this with you."
"Okay, sure, Nouenbou-kun," Izuku said. "We'll have lunch together."
The boy looked worried, "I typically don't eat lunch with others… or indoors…"
Izuku tilted his head in curiosity and concern, "What's the problem?"
Takashi seemed to run some ideas through his head, then said, "I suppose I could eat something a bit more… subdued… than normal. Very well, I will join you, if you would be patient." He then went to get his meal, checking his breath as he did so.
After getting his own lunch, Toru popped up along with Mina and Setsuna trailing behind her, "Hey, Izu-kun! How're you doing?"
"Very well," Izuku said. "How's your work-study with Edgeshot going?"
"Amazing!" Toru cheered, "He's really good at stealthy approaches, so he's teaching me a lot! Not to mention that, since I can put him in my field of invisibility, he becomes that much more effective! And since he's formed a team, I'm learning alongside Shiozaki-san and Yui-chan as well!"
As Izuku and Toru were seated, Mina and Setsuna joined them. Izuku asked, "How about you two?"
"Majestic's pretty damn good," Setsuna replied. "Just the right blend of showman and serious. I think I'll do well there."
Mina pouted, "Yeah, not trying it this time. Need to keep my grades up and getting distracted with this is a bad idea. I'll have to catch up to y'all later."
"Do what you need to," Izuku said, "It's not a race."
They were interrupted by the arrival of the Business Course student, who had a tray containing pickled cabbage and radishes, alongside a heaping helping of natto, the fermented soybean dish infamous for its stench. The meal was… pungent.
"Yes, another greenhead!" Setsuna cried out.
"Oh, wow! I love natto, too!" Mina said. "Maybe not as much as you, but it's great, isn't it?"
Takashi had a look on his face that screamed that he was trying to be diplomatic, "I'm actually not personally a fan of this meal, but it is better than my usual fare."
Izuku looked odd, "Do you have some strict dietary requirements, Nouenbou-kun?"
"Sort of. It involves my Quirk," Takashi looked to see that Izuku instantly had a notebook in his hands. Rolling with it, he said, "My Quirk is one that boosts my capabilities if I consume a specific form of food. Specifically, eating foods that have been fermented improves my mental acuity, as well as my stamina and speed."
"Wow, that's an amazing Quirk!" Izuku said. "Sato-kun in 1-B has a similar Quirk where he becomes stronger when he eats sugar, and our class fought a Seiai student with a Quirk that boosts her intellect when she drinks tea! You could easily become a Hero with that Quirk!"
"Hard pass," Takashi stated. "I love Heroes, but I'd never actually be one. Besides, my Quirk is mostly an inconvenience to me…" He took a bite of his natto and grimaced. "I would have loved my Quirk to be dependent on sugar or tea. No, I have to eat some of the worst tasting foods on the planet to be effective. The smellier and more foul-tasting the more it helps me."
Toru was currently invisible, but Izuku could sense she was sticking her tongue out, "Ugh, so you need to eat food you hate to be effective?"
Takashi nodded, "Hence why I usually eat outside, away from people. And why I stuck with this instead of my more rancid-tasting meals. You don't want to open a can of surstromming indoors."
Izuku tapped his pencil to his face in thought, "Well, I-"
"Save it for later, I'm here on business," Takashi stated. "Normally the Business Course doesn't deal with actual Hero Course students until third year, it's all simulations until then, and we tend to stick to other third year students. However, I have been tracking the trajectory of all Hero course students that are enrolled in our year, and there is a disturbing new series of videos that have begun amassing a following. It involves a number of conspiracy theories about you, Midoriya-san."
As he said this, Takashi pulled out a tablet and began to scroll past pages of data that he'd compiled, and went to a tab showcasing a hashtag that was trending.
It read #KyuseishuIsDeku, and it existed alongside others like #QuirkThieves and #SymbolOfTheft
Izuku's heart sank as his anxiety soared. Toru looked at the screen and said, "All right, one of us is going to murder over this, and my money's on Occhan."
"Might not even be one of your little love polygon," Setsuna said. "I mean, I'd kill for our class rep, and this is giving me a murderboner. And why not you, Toru-chan? Not mad enough"
"Oh, I'm absolutely livid," Toru said calmly. "I just know my murderboner isn't as big as Ochako's."
"Can you not use that term for it?" Izuku blushed.
"You can't tell our murderboners what to do!" Mina chimed in.
"We are erect with rage!" Setsuna added.
Takashi cleared his throat, "Well, the good news is that this is a fringe belief shared by few. The bad news is that there are competent people gaming algorithms with these hashtags and they've produced an army of bots to bring this out of obscurity. The worse news is that you don't have a consistent media presence or a rabidly dedicated fanbase, so right now these haters have eclipsed any current coverage of you. You have goodwill from the Sports Festival, but All Might's retirement shook a lot of people up and this could eat through that."
Izuku nodded grimly, "I know villains are taking advantage, but this isn't something I considered…"
Takashi grinned, "And that's what I'm here to help with. I have a couple of ideas that could work. To begin with, you need a social media presence. I took the liberty of registering Kyuseishu_Official on all the major sites." He handed Izuku a sealed envelope, "Those are the passwords, change them as appropriate."
Izuku looked worried, "I haven't had a public account in years… I had bad experiences, and I was always worried about being doxxed…"
"I'd offer to manage it for you, but I didn't think you'd trust some random guy with your media presence," Takashi said.
Izuku sighed, "Yeah, good point. I don't even know what I'd post…"
"Media management hasn't been a subject for you yet, has it?" Takashi asked. At the shakes of their heads, he looked at the tablet and started to type, "Then I have some ideas for you. You're going to need something to show people that you're approachable. What are your hobbies?"
"I'm a big fan of Heroes, and I like to discuss them…" Izuku said, scratching the back of his head. "And I like to analyze Quirks."
Takashi nodded, "Talking about Heroes is always good. There's the chance for polarization depending on any particular Hero's popularity, but authenticity trumps attempts at appeasing everyone…" he thought out loud. "Quirk analysis is an intriguing angle. I don't think we have many Heroes who delve too deeply into it, but we have to be careful that you're not exposing anyone's weaknesses."
"Of course! Rule one before you post is to assume that there's a Villain on the other side of the screen!" Izuku said indignantly.
Takashi paused, "That wording's too familiar. Shot in the dark, but… AllMightyThen157?"
Izuku sputtered, "How?"
"Domesticated_Hyena," Takashi replied.
Izuku's eyes widened, "Wow, it's been over a year…"
"We've both been busy it seems," Takashi shrugged.
"Wait, what is this?" Setsuna's head floated over to them.
"HeroNet forums," Izuku and Takashi said simultaneously.
"To be fair, I still think you're too hard on Doctor Darwinian," Izuku said.
"Yes, the man has a Ph.D. in zoology. No, he shouldn't call himself Doctor because he'll never be able to stop people from asking him medical questions," Takashi sighed. "I'm getting off topic, and now that I know we're cut from similar cloths, I'm skeptical about using this angle. On the one hand, I don't think there's ever been a Hero who's also a complete Hero otaku like us, so there's a ready-made fanbase in that group. On the other hand, that could turn off the normals."
"Plus, we're likely to turn on someone on a dime," Izuku looked off to the side.
Takashi frowned, "I mean, I wasn't going to say it out loud…"
"There's always Eri-chan!" Mina interrupted.
Takashi blinked in confusion, "Eri-chan?"
"His daughter!" Setsuna said with a shit-eating grin.
Takashi had a thousand-yard stare, "Wait… I know your girlfriends are an open secret, but you have a child?!"
"Adopted!" Izuku said, blushing heavily.
"Eri-chan was saved by Izu-kun and Togata-senpai," Toru added, giggling a little. "She was held captive by a villain since infancy. U.A. took custody of her, and she decided to call Izu-kun 'Papa.' Togata-senpai, too."
Takashi went from a thousand-yard stare to having yen symbols in his eyes, "Well now… that's intriguing… That's quite a story… Anything worthy of posting?"
Toru gasped, "Show him the latest video, the one with Jiro-chan!"
Smiling widely at the reminder, Izuku went to his phone and pulled it up. He handed it to Takashi, who pressed play.
It showed Eri at a drum set, happily playing as Kyoka looked on, nodding and smiling encouragingly. When it subsided, Kyoka clapped, "A wonderful start, Eri-chan!"
"Thank you, Aunt Kyoka!" she said, smiling widely.
"It may take a while, but you could be a rockstar someday!" she said, throwing up the horns.
Eri looked confused, "Aunt Kyoka, what's that?"
"Oh, these are the horns. It's something that people who like rock do to show that they think something is really cool. Do you want to give it a try?" Kyoka asked.
"Horns? Okay!" Eri said, thinking about it. After some thought, she held up her fist, but only extended her pinky finger.
Kyoka now looked confused, "Eri, sweetie, you have to have your index finger up, too."
"But I only have one horn!" Eri said, pointing to her forehead. "So when I do it, shouldn't I do only one horn to match mine?"
As she was clearly trying to maintain her composure, Kyoka nodded, "You know what? You're absolutely right. These might be the classic horns, but this?" she held up her fist with the pinky extended, "this is the Eri-version of the horns. It's for whenever Eri does something awesome, okay!"
"Okay!" Eri said, her smile incandescent. The video ended there.
Izuku smiled, "Well, what do you think?"
Takashi looked at Izuku with an expression of utmost seriousness, "Two things, Midoriya-san. First, you're sitting on an absolute goldmine. Second, I call dibs. The other members of the Business Course will get their hands on you over my dead body."