Chapter 2: Guilty

Tetsuya turned in his sleep, coming awake as he realized that Ichigo's warm, naked body was no longer wrapped around his. He sat up and looked around the Shiba heir's bedroom, noting for the first time how different it felt after living at Kuchiki Manor for such a long time. He swallowed hard, a little ache rising in his stomach, as he thought more deeply about what he and Ichigo had done.

I know in my heart that I didn't stop Byakuya-sama and Ichigo-sama from being together. They both understood that because of clan rules to prevent one clan from being swallowed up by another, the elders couldn't have supported the idea of them marrying. And neither was it a sin for me to take Ichigo's hand when I do not love him and he doesn't love me. We are very good friends, and it didn't feel wrong to let him make love to me. I like Ichigo very much. He is so kind and gentle inside. One wouldn't expect that someone with such power could also wield such tenderness. He is a good man, and he will be a wonderful father.

Tetsuya rubbed his slim abdomen lightly, breathing softly and smiling as he felt the little twinges and internal tuggings that indicated that his joining with his husband had been successful in seeding Ichigo's heir.

I want very much for Ichigo to be happy. Children will make him happy. And I will honor him every day with my love as well. It will be all right.

But still, he felt a little catch in his heart as he thought of the way he had seen Byakuya looking at them during the wedding. The little twinge worked its way into nausea, and Tetsuya exited the bed, moving hastily into the bathroom, where he emptied his stomach, then leaned against the wall, breathing slowly and rubbing his belly, while white stars danced in front of his eyes.

Male gestation has a swifter and harsher onset than female gestation, he remembered, But, everything is fine. Everything will be fine.

He wasn't sure why the thought held no real comfort, and why, even though he would have sworn that he felt no sadness, tears leaked onto his face. He felt a touch on his shoulder and turned his head away quickly.

"S-sorry, Ichi…"

"It's me, Tetsuya-sama," his attendant said soothingly.

"Oh…Koji," Tetsuya sighed in a relieved tone, "I'd forgotten you came with us last night. Was it strange being in a new place?"

"It's fine," Koji chuckled, "Toshi-san has been helping me settle in and get to know anyone I didn't already. You don't have to worry about me. I am just happy to still be serving you."

"I am glad you are here too," Tetsuya confessed, wiping away the errant tears and sniffing softly, "I thought everything was fine, but…it seems that I can't stop feeling like I've done something wrong. You know that my marriage to Ichigo-sama…"

"Hey," Ichigo interjected from where he stood in the bathroom doorway, "I told you we're married now, Tetsuya. You don't have to refer to me like that."

"Sorry," Tetsuya said, blushing and smiling more warmly as his husband approached him and pulled him gently to his feet.

Ichigo paused for a moment, studying Tetsuya's paler than usual face and the little hints of redness in the whites of his eyes.

"You've been crying," he observed, "Are you okay?"

"It's just hormones," Tetsuya said dismissively, taking a deeper breath and straightening, "They come on more quickly for a breeder male than a female. I will be fine."

He squeezed his husband's hands, brightening.

"We have been successful, Ichigo," he announced happily, "I am going to have your child."

"That's great, Tetsuya," Ichigo said in a pleased tone, meeting his blue-eyed spouse for a long, tender kiss, "This is something you and I both really wanted."

His eyes grew thoughtful as he looked down into Tetsuya's.

"But, are you sure it's okay to take off on our honeymoon with you not feeling so good?" he asked.

"Oh, of course, Ichigo," Tetsuya answered readily, "It's just the beginnings of gestation. I may be uncomfortable at times, but mostly, I will feel just fine. I will begin to need infusions of your reiatsu to keep the balance between the baby's reiatsu and mine as our child's reiatsu grows stronger, but for now, there don't need to be any restrictions on what we can do."

"Good," Ichigo said approvingly, "because I'm really looking forward to showing you around the living world."

"I look forward to learning about it," Tetsuya said eagerly, "I have only been there once or twice while acting as Byakuya-sama's bodyguard, and I haven't really ever had a chance to explore it."

"We'll do plenty of exploring," Ichigo assured him, "We can go club dancing, take in a movie at the drive-in, and there are a million restaurants with different kinds of food to try."

"It's so much bigger than the world I've lived in up to now," Tetsuya said more softly, "It's strange. I worried before that now that Byakuya-sama no longer needs me for his protection, I wouldn't know what to do. There is just so much I never even realized…"

Ichigo hugged Tetsuya tightly and kissed him on the cheek.

"Why don't you let Koji get you dressed and we'll get started?" he suggested, "Renji and Rukia want to meet us for lunch. Koji and Toshi can get us packed while we're out."

"That sounds great," Tetsuya agreed, stepping out of the bathroom and heading for the dressing area.

Ichigo touched Koji on the shoulder and spoke to him more quietly.

"Hey, Koji, do me a favor, okay?"

"Sir?" Koji inquired.

"Watch out for him and if he seems unhappy or if he feels bad, you make sure I know about it, all right?"

"I will," Koji promised, "but you needn't worry, Ichigo-sama."

"It's just Ichigo," the Shiba heir chuckled.

"Ichigo," Koji corrected himself, "Tetsuya is very happy with you. You've been so kind to him and you've helped him learn more about the larger world. He has been sheltered, even after being freed from the noble's prison. He still has much to learn and experience."

"Well, I'm gonna make sure that he gets out and sees everything!" Ichigo said enthusiastically.

"It's good to see the both of you so happy," Koji said in a pleased tone, "I know yours is an arranged marriage, but you and Tetsuya really are good together."

"I think so too," Ichigo said, following the attendant to where Tetsuya stood waiting for them.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh!" Byakuya gasped, cringing at the shaft of light that cut across his bed and burned against his closed eyelids.

His head throbbed and his mouth felt parched and swollen, too sore for swallowing.

What did I do to myself?

What time is it?

I should be at work.

He started to sit up in the bed, then felt a warning throb in his belly that sent him flash stepping to the bathroom. He expelled what little he hadn't the night before, then staggered to his feet and rinsed his mouth.

"Are you all right, Byakuya-sama?" Torio asked from outside the closed bathroom door.

"F-fine," Byakuya managed, wincing as he swallowed a few mouthfuls of cool water, "I will need to dress quickly. I am overdue at work."

"Sorry, Byakuya-sama," Torio apologized, "You just looked like you didn't feel well, so I allowed you to oversleep and sent word to your division that you were unwell this morning."

"Ah, arigato," Byakuya sighed, "I suppose since I am already so late and you have made my apologies, I needn't rush."

"I have some ginger tea and a light breakfast ready for you."

Byakuya opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the dressing area, where his attendant quickly began to dress him. He avoided looking at his reflection, well aware that it would probably be clear to anyone who knew him that something was amiss.

"You look so pale, sir," Torio said sympathetically, "Are you sure you shouldn't just call in sick for the day?"

Byakuya started to answer, then felt another unpleasant twinge in his belly that sent him flash stepping back into the bathroom. Torio shook his head sadly.

"Poor Byakuya-sama…"

He was distracted from the thought as a hell butterfly arrived and paused in front of him.

"Torio," a youthful, male voice spoke out of the insect, "I have found that my master came home wearing your master's obi. If you will be about in an hour or so, I will come by to exchange it for Kuri-kuri-sama's."

Torio frowned and glanced at the clothes that Byakuya had uncharacteristically discarded into a pile on his dressing area floor and swiftly found the Shima leader's sash. He nodded to the hell butterfly.

"It seems Byakuya-sama is unwell and may be staying home today, so I will be caring for him," he answered, "But you are welcome to come by anytime and we will make the exchange."

He sent the butterfly winging away and retrieved the rest of Byakuya's clothes, setting them carefully aside for cleaning.

"Hmm," he mused softly, "I wonder how that happened?"

XXXXXXXXXX

Kurushimi laid in a tangle of bedding, curled around a pillow, his expression tormented and tears drying on his handsome face.

He woke to find himself alone in bed and heard sounds of discomfort coming from within the bathroom. Smiling to himself, he left the bed and moved to the bathroom door, tapping lightly and calling his husband's name.

"Hideaki?"

He heard a low groan and frowned, trying the door handle and finding that the door was locked.

"Hideaki!" he called more urgently, knocking on the door.

"K-Kuri!" a distressed male voice called back to him.

Without hesitation, he kicked the door open and rushed into the bathroom, where he found a huddled figure kneeling in what looked to be a widening pool of spilling blood and reiatsu.

"Hideaki!" he cried, dropping to his knees at his husband's side and taking hold of him.

His husband's chin lifted and Kuri froze, staring in shock as he realized that the man in his arms was not his husband at all, but the beautiful, grey-eyed and raven haired leader of the Kuchiki family.

"B-Byakurai?" he said shakily as the man in his embrace quivered and coughed up a frightening amount of bright red blood.

"Kuri!" Byakuya gasped.

"Tonia!" Kuri howled, lifting the stricken Kuchiki leader and carrying him to their bed, "Tonia, hurry!"

He ran out of the room, calling desperately for his sister, racing from room to room, but finding himself alone on the sprawling estate grounds.

"Mamà!" he screamed, "Tonia!"

He sat up, still screaming, and panting harshly. The door to his bedroom burst open, and his attendant ran into the room.

"Kuri-Kuri-sama!" he cried, "Are you all right, sir?"

"Ugh!" Kuri huffed unhappily, collapsing onto his pillow again as Antonia entered the room and gave him a reproving look.

"I told you that you were drinking too much at the wedding last night, you horse's ass!" his sister scolded him, "It's all right, Shuji. Just go and make some ginger tea. I will take care of him."

She approached the bed and sat down as Kuri's attendant flash stepped away. Kuri rolled onto his back, then scowled and turned away, loosing himself into a trash can on the far side of the bed.

"I would give you a harder time, but I think you are miserable enough already," she clucked, watching as he settled on his back on the pillows again.

She leaned over him, checking his vital signs and looking into his red eyes and irritated throat.

"You should stay in bed today, hermano," she instructed him.

"Nonsense," Kuri argued, "I am fine. I just had a bad dream."

"A bad dream and too much to drink at the party," Antonia corrected him.

"Everyone was drinking too much," Kuri groaned, rubbing his aching belly as Antonia began to mix some herbs into a little cup of water.

She handed the medicated water to her brother, watching as he drank.

"You should have just told Tetsuya long ago that you were infatuated with him," Antonia complained, "Then, he might not have married your cousin."

"Eh," Kuri huffed, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, "I wasn't ready to be with anyone yet. You know that."

Antonia gave him a skeptical look.

"Hermano, it has been over twenty years since you lost Hideaki. You are a good husband to never forget your love for him, but you know that he would have wanted you to move on and rebuild your life."

"There is nothing wrong with my life," Kuri spat gruffly, "I lead a division. I lead our family. What more do you want? I am not having kids. I am not getting married again. I will do whatever else I am required to, but I am not going through that again with anyone else!"

Antonia gave him a softer look of reproach, but was stopped from answering as their mother stepped into the room.

"Are you all right, Kuri?" she asked worriedly, "You are having dreams of him again?"

"Dreams, yes," Kuri confirmed, frowning deeply as he remembered, "But it wasn't him in the dream. It was strange. It was like my dreams about him, but this time it was…"

He paused, flushing slightly.

"It was someone else."

"Who was it?" Magdelina asked curiously, "Was it someone you know?"

"I don't know," Kuri sighed dismissively, "It doesn't matter. It was just a dream, and it's over. I am fine. I just needed to wake up a little and get some of Tonia's remedy. I am good now."

"You don't look well at all," Magdelina said disapprovingly, "You should get some more rest and let Shuji spoil you some more."

"I can lay around this weekend," Kuri said, sitting up, "You know I have duties at my division."

"You won't be able to concentrate anyway, in your condition," Antonia surmised, "You should lie back down and take Mamàs advice."

"Are you saying that as my hermana, or are you saying it as the taicho of the fourth division?" Kuri asked skeptically.

"I am saying it as both," she answered, scowling, "You aren't in any condition to be making military decisions and writing reports. Get some rest, Kuri. I will send word to your division to let them know."

"Eh…don't bother," Kuri grumbled, climbing out of bed, "I would just have more bad dreams. Working will take my mind off of things. I will be fine now."

Antonia and Magdelina exchanged annoyed glances and Antonia shook her head disapprovingly.

"Suit yourself," she said resignedly, "But don't say I didn't warn you."

"I won't," Kuri huffed, stepping into the dressing area and letting his rumpled yukata drop to the floor, "Now, get out of here and let Shuji dress me!"

He stood quietly as his attendant joined him and set his uniform carefully in place. Shuji stole a sad glance at the Shima leader as he worked at the tie to fasten his clothing in place.

"It looks like we will need to take in your clothing a little more, Kuri-Kuri-sama," the youth commented, an edge of worry in his voice, "I will have time after I get back from Kuchiki Manor."

"Whatever," Kuri said wearily, "Do what you need to."

"Please sir, you must take better care of yourself," Shuji urged him, giving him a distressed look, "I know you are still sad, but…"

"Don't you start with me too," Kuri chided him, "I know already. Too much drinking and too little eating. I've heard it before until it makes me sick to hear it again. You say it again and I am going to throw up some more."

"S-sorry, sir!" Shuji apologized hastily, "I didn't mean to…!"

"It's fine, boy," Kuri sighed heavily, patting the youth on the cheek, "You are not doing anything wrong. Don't blame yourself. Grief is hell on anyone. You can't stop it and you can't change it. It will be over when it is over, and not until."

Shuji looked back at him through dispirited blue eyes, blinking to avoid shedding tears in front of his master. Noting his distress, Kuri took a steadying breath and smiled at him.

"It will be fine. I am okay now."

Shuji nodded and began to clean up the dressing area, while Kuri stood, thinking quietly about the dream he had experienced.

"Did you say that you were going to Kuchiki Manor?" he asked his attendant.

Shuji looked up at him questioningly.

"Yes, Kuri-kuri-sama," he answered, "It seems that somehow your obi got mixed up with Byakuya-sama's. I found it earlier when I was cleaning up."

"My obi?" Kuri mused, blinking as he encountered a flash image of himself, lying on top of Byakuya's lovely, naked body, kissing him enthusiastically.

Oh…shit.

Did we…?

Was this what made me dream of him last night?

"You went pale again, sir," Shuji observed.

"I am okay," Kuri assured him, "but I will be going with you to Kuchiki Manor."

"Sir?" the attendant said, looking up at him curiously.

"Byakurai seemed ill," Kuri said, biting at his lip gently, "I will take him some of Tonia's remedy for too much drinking."

"S-sir?" Shuji said, looking even more confused.

"He was drinking a lot too," Kuri explained, "Come along. We should go. Byakurai is probably pretty uncomfortable this morning."

"Yes sir," the attendant said, recovering slightly.

"Lead on then," Kuri directed them.

The two left Shima adobe and flash stepped along the path that led away from their home and through a small wooded area, before emerging just short of the Kuchiki main family's home. They slowed and walked to the front gates, pausing as the guards recognized them and waved them on. Torio met them in the courtyard, smiling as he spotted Shuji.

"Thank you both for coming," he said, extending a hand that held Kuri's colorful obi, "It seems that some things were mixed up last night at the reception."

"Well, that does happen," Kuri chuckled, "All of that wild dancing, you know."

"Y-yes, sir. Can I offer you both some refreshment?" Torio asked, "I will need to attend to Byakuya-sama. Although he is finally feeling well enough to eat something, he is not up to company."

Kuri noted the little flush that had risen on his attendant's face at the arrival of Byakuya's attendant.

"Why don't you both go and enjoy something," he suggested, "I will look in on Byakurai. I have something Tonia sent that should have him feeling better quickly."

"Oh, thank you, Kuri-Kuri-sama," Torio said, taking Shuji's hand and setting off a brighter flush on the young man's cheeks, "I am sure Byakuya-sama will appreciate that."

Kuri made his way to the wooden walkway and followed it to Byakuya's bedroom, pausing to take a steadying breath before stepping inside. Byakuya looked up as he entered, and the Kuchiki leader frowned.

"Shima taicho?" he mused, "Why are you here?"

"It seems like there was a little mix up of clothing," Kuri answered, removing some herbs from within his clothes and preparing the remedy his sister had given him, "Shuji and I came to collect my obi."

"Yes, I was aware that they got confused somehow."

"Probably during the dancing," Kuri said carefully.

"Probably," Byakuya agreed, "but I hope you will be discreet about it in front of anyone."

"Of course. Of course," Kuri agreed, "We wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

"No," Byakuya agreed.

He paused, bringing his fingertips to touch his chin as he frowned curiously.

"May I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," Kuri said, handing him the drink he had made.

Byakuya sniffed the mixture, then swallowed it, setting the cup down and touching a napkin to his lips before continuing.

"Do you remember dancing with me?" Byakuya asked, "Did you…kiss me?"

Kuri froze for a moment as he recalled the image that had come to him of the two of them, naked and kissing.

There is no way.

Byakurai would have killed me.

I imagined it. I am sure. We were dancing, that is all.

He shook his head firmly.

"I don't remember any kissing," he assured the Kuchiki leader, "We were dancing. That was all."

Byakuya gave him a look of relief and rested more easily against the pillows.

"Good," he sighed, "I was not sure. I drank more than usual. My apologies for the confusion."

Kuri smiled.

"It's fine," he assured Byakuya, "You are a wonderful dancer, Byakurai."