HEY-YO! Guess what I'm still here and haven't given up on this story. I just write when the inspiration strikes me now. This Konoha Civilian gets writers block pretty easily. Hope you enjoy!

Naruto was rudely awakened by the Anbu of Sunagakure hauling him out of the bed he was sharing with Temari.

Naruto groggily complied with the guards as they dragged him from the apartment to the office of the Kazekage.

Naruto rubbed his eyes, "What's happening golden sand man?"

The Kazekage raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"Shhhh, it's early. I can't patronize very well right now."

The Kazekage rubbed his sinuses to alleviate the headache he had. "Do you know what you started last night?"

Naruto stretched, "One hell of a party… most likely. "

The Kazekage interlocked his fingers and rested his chin on them, "I don't know how, but you started a pillow fight war last night. It was so wide spread some of the civilians thought we were under attack."

Naruto grinned at the memories, "you have to enjoy the little things."

The Kazekage seemed less amused, "I also heard that you were in bed with my daughter when you were found."

Naruto looked at the Kazekage and crossed his arms, "... I'm not apologizing."

The Kazekage glared

Naruto put up his arms in surrender, "I just want you to know that I seem to make her happy and you and I both know she would kick my ass if I did anything she didn't..."

The Kazekage raised a hand signaling to stop, "I don't want to keep you apart, but I do want to make sure this threat comes through clearly."

Suddenly the Kazekage was right in front of Naruto, "have you ever had sand in your eyes? How about gold particles that slowly work their way through the eyes, then the tender skin of the sinus and down through the esophagus to your stomach and lungs and finally through every major organ you have all the way down to your feet? The last man who crossed me in this manner went crazy from the pain in three hours, but it took four days to complete. That is what awaits you if you hurt her."

Naruto didn't even blink, "In that case I'm not even slightly worried. No way I would do anything to hurt her."

The Kazekage didn't show it, but felt very impressed that Naruto didn't even flinch, 'the last person I told cried involuntarily.'

The Kazekage remembered the large red fireball that seemed to take up the entire horizon.

"I'm glad you are the type that doesn't back down from a challenge. Rest assured there is no need for us to be enemies, I just want what is best for my daughter."

Naruto let out a deep breath, "Thank goodness. Temari would have been so unhappy to not be on speaking terms with you."

The Kazekage grinned, "I think for the time being I won't imprison you, but please just leave so we don't have anymore of your shenanigans."

Naruto smiled coyly at him, "actually I'm about to say goodbye to everyone. I didn't want to take the chance that you would react badly." He bowed, "Sorry about that." Naruto disappeared in a cloud of smoke."

The Anbu were about to charge out the door, but the Kazekage stopped them. "It's fine. We now have an understanding."

Naruto received the memories of his clone as he was hugging Temari goodbye, "You know your dad really loves you… and is reeeeeaaaly protective of you."

Temari rolled her eyes, "did he tell you the sand story about entering in the eyes and exiting the feet?"

Naruto nodded.

Temari sighed exasperatedly, "he probably never even did that."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Probably?"

Temari smiled, "don't worry you'll be fine… just remember you owe me a fancy date."

Naruto bowed, "only the fanciest for my princess. If you become the ambassador between our nations I'm sure we will see more of each other." Naruto raised his eyebrows twice.

Temari squeezed him once more and then gave him a hard shove.

Naruto almost fell over, but Gaara caught him and pulled him upright. "It was good to see you again old friend."

"Likewise best friend." Naruto brought Gaara in for a hug.

Gaara let him go and waved goodbye.

"And Naruto" Gaara called after him, "Next time I will beat you."

Naruto stuck his tongue out and pulled down on one eye, "In your dreams dust devil."

Team seven and Jiraiya got ready to head back to Konoha.

Naruto and the rest of team seven waved goodbye to those who were seeing them off. Naruto also gave a mock salute to the top of the large wall around the village where the Kazekage located, watching them depart.

Temari was soon called into the Kazekage's office.

"Temari as my daughter, I think it would be a good idea for you to become the ambassador to the Leaf…

Team seven plus Jiraiya arrived safely back at Konoha without incident. Team seven went directly to the Hokage. After they entered the door they stood at attention and saluted. The Third Hokage waved them off and put the piece of paper her was working aside.

He looked up past the stacks of paperwork, "How did the mission go?"

Naruto stepped forward before the others could stop him, "I think we about broke even."

The Hokage paused waiting for the blonde to elaborate… he didn't. "Ok, I'll bite. What does break even mean?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

The Third's eyes widened, "You didn't start a war did you?"

Naruto face faulted, "you know that is the second time people have assumed that's what I would do… no I only got arrested… twice technically, but we also took down one of the Akatsuki."

The Hokage felt a headache start to build, "please tell me it was nothing too bad."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders, "nothing bad, just a massive hide and seek game and a village wide pillow fight."

The Third looked at Naruto in silence without any emotion. "The rest of team seven you are dismissed. Naruto please hang back we need to have a chat."

Sasuke and Sakura both partially covered their mouths, "ohhhhhhhh Naruto's in troooublllle."

The Third gave them a look and the team minus Naruto disappeared in a shunshin.

Naruto stood up mockingly straight and rigid, "What is it Hokage-sama"

The Hokage stood up and turned around crossing his hand behind his back. Suddenly and seemingly for no reason he bust out laughing. "Do… Do you know… how...how long I've waited for this." he said between laughs.

Naruto was very confused and waited for more of an explanation.

The Hokage turned around wiping a tear from his eye. "We Kage have a betting pool for ninja that are the craziest under our command. The Raikage has always won because of the eight tails container, but with this… I'm sure I've got it in the bag."

Naruto chuckled to himself, "I'm glad I could be of service."

The Third pulled one of the drawers of his desk open and pulled a bottle of fancy looking saki from it. "I think it's high time for us to bury the hatchet and celebrate the win a little early."

Naruto smiled wide, "You said it Ji-san!"

The Hokage poured the first drink and raised it in a toast, "An old toast that has stuck with me over the years seems appropriate. May the best you've ever seen be the worst you'll ever see, may you stay hale hearty 'till you're old enough to di', may you always be as happy as we wish you all to be."

After they finished the bottle Naruto got out the moonshine from the toads and offered the Hokage a glass, "in the immortal words of Ero-Sanin, this will put hair on your chest!"

The Hokage took a large belt and his eyes started to become unfocused.

Naruto decided that it would be more fun to drink on top of the Hokage mountain so they had a race to the top. Naruto sprinted out of the office and leapt out at the mountain and started to sprint up it.

Naruto chanced a glance behind him to see what kind of lead he had, to his surprise, there was no old man behind him. He turned back to the front to see the Thirds face right in front of him.

"Ahhhhhh" Naruto lost his concentration and started to fall, but caught himself with his hands.

"HAHA, you are fifty years too young to beat me in a race!" And with that he took off up the mountain.

Naruto raised his eyebrows, 'Holy crap the old man can move.'

By the time Naruto got up to the top the Hokage was sitting with his legs crossed shaking his empty glass for more moonshine.

Naruto grinned and filled him up and sat down.

The Hokage grabbed him by the shoulder, "How did you get so good at pulling pranks?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "What why would you want to know?"

"When I was younger I thought I was a great prankster, but no one else seemed to think so."

"No way, you used to pull pranks, what kind?"

The old man chuckled, "I used to crouch down behind people and make my clone scare them so they would trip."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "psshht. That is way too small to call yourself a prankster."

The Hokage looked at Naruto confused, "I was sure that was the pinnacle of pranking."

Naruto just smiled evilly, "If you're up for it I have the best prank in mind."

The Hokage who was now so drunk he could barely keep his eyes open, "I may be old, but I could still show you a thing or two."

Naruto hoisted the paint brushes and paint cans.

…

The next morning the Hokage woke up at his desk. His back felt stiff and his head pounded. His assistant was in front of his desk with a fairly large stack of papers.

"Uuhhh...what time is it?"

His assistant pushed up her glasses and made and annoyed sound, "tsk. It noon!"

The Hokage immediately covered his ears and whispered, "New law no loud noises in this room."

The assistant rolled her eyes, but started to whisper, "The most pressing concern is finding the culprit who defaced the Hokage monument."

The old man held his head as a fragment of a memory surfaced from the previous night…

(Flashback)

"So ifw weee do thiis we will go do...down in prankster history?"

Naruto gave him a huge smile, "definitely...well at least yooouuu will. Heh"

(End Flashback)

The Hokage groaned, "Any suspected leads?"

The assistant shook her head no.

The Hokage let out an involuntary sigh of relief, "Just clean it up. There's no reason to investigate. I was probably just some kid who wants attention."

The assistant raised one of her eyebrows, but then decided to leave it be. "Well besides that we have many more things on the schedule for today. Are you going to be alright?"

The Hokage slapped his cheeks and took a deep breath, "Of course. I must continue to do my job, no matter how I feel." He reached forward and grabbed the first sheet of paperwork and a pen.

...

Naruto and the rest of Team 7 were just getting unpacked from their last mission when they were summoned to the Hokage's office for a mission briefing.

Team seven tip toes into the office and Kakashi whispered, Team 7 reporting sir."

The Hokage made a questioning face, "Why are you whispering?"

Kakashi's one visible eyebrow raised, "Your assistant told us this was a new law?"

The Hokage grunted, "disregard that. I am actually getting a little deaf in my old age. I can hardly hear you."

Kakashi saluted and spoke normally, "Do you have a mission for us?"

The Hokage nodded, "I am not sure this mission will be successful though. Now that Akasuki has seen that you are at least a tad stronger than they expected I believe they will pull back and regroup, but shortly after they will either send stronger opponents or more of them."

The Hokage regarded them, "This is unfortunate, but can't be helped. Now it's time to discourage them by using all of our cards we have held in reserve."

"YOU DON'T MEAN HIM, DO YOU?

The whole group immediately shifted their focus to the man sitting on the windowsill.

The Hokage regarded the whole group. "Yes I do, but that's the second part of the mission. I need you to go and get Tsunade for me. She will be taking over as Hokage."

Jiraiya instantly got a perverted grin on his face, "it has been too long. I miss the sight of her big beautiful...eyes." he finished be making a circular hand gesture.

Sakura gained a tick mark on her head, but kept herself from reacting physically.

The Hokage addressed Team 7, "you will escort Jiraiya to find Tsunade and if possible Jiraiya will take you to see one of our deep cover agents."

Team 7 Saluted

"So how is your head old man?"

The Hokage eyed him, "I don't know what your talking about."

Jiraiya looked back and forth between his pupil and master, "NO WAY! You drank with him, but not me? I bet you would have had more fun with me."

Naruto chuckled, "I sincerely doubt it." He then gestured to the cleaning crew on the face of the Hokage mountain.

Jiraiya started to laugh out loud and wiped a tear from his eye, "How many does this make?"

"Three down, two to go."

"How you get leaders to do these things to their own monuments is astounding."

Naruto smiled wide, "It's a gift."

"ENOUGH! DISMISSED!"

Kakashi opened his book, "meet at the gate in one hour." and with that he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

The rest of the team left in a similar fashion.

Jiraiya walked over to the Hokage, "So, you are serious? You want to bring him out from his cover?"

The Hokage shook his head, "If possible I would like him to stay put, but I feel like Sasuke and Kakashi would benefit from his training. He does have the most experience in that field."

Jiraiya nodded, "I can't wait for the day when it's not necessary for him to hide and play the bad guy."

The Third nodded, "Unfortunately I don't see that day coming any time soon. Good luck."

Jiraiya smiled, "Hey! This is me we are talking about! I'm always one step ahead!"

With that he jumped out of the window. The Hokage watched him go and then looked again at the half cleaned monument and cursed himself for his foolishness.

How was it? Leave a review (good or bad) for a sooner update. They just help me get motivated to write.

-Deuces

Konoha Civilian