Twilight and its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
For the rest of the week, my love for Bella was at the forefront of my mind. The words were constantly at the tip of my tongue—I had to stop myself from saying them before every greeting and after every goodbye.
I had a plan in place to say it for the first time. I had no intention of fumbling the words or making a fool out of myself, which would absolutely be the case if I went into this blind. At the concert, when Tracy Chapman begins the chorus to Baby Can I Hold You, I will take Bella into my arms, and along with the lyrics, I will say to Bella, "I love you." That way, I had a specific time so I couldn't chicken out and Tracy would be saying the words along with me, so I wouldn't forget my line.
It would be perfect.
The night of the concert, I was more than ready.
I held my love by the waist, occasionally planting light kisses everywhere she would allow them, as we waited at the front of the venue for Ben and Angela to arrive. Earlier that week, I told Bella all about my conversation with Ben in Spanish—leaving out my epiphany, of course—and she silently gasped with adorable delight for our friends. Bella bounced on her toes with impatience, excitement, or both as she scanned the crowd for the new couple. With only fifteen minutes left before the first act, I finally spotted two familiar faces in the crowd, but they weren't the ones I expected.
"Edward!" Jessica waved excitedly over the heads around her, towing a bemused Lauren along with her.
Bella's eyes shot up to meet mine. I wasn't sure if Bella was aware that the two girls were the source of the rumors being spread about the two of us, but they were subtly cruel enough to her face to let Bella know exactly where she stood with them. I removed my hand from her waist and gently rubbed her lower back, "It'll be okay."
"Hey!" I greeted the two of them as courteously as I could. Bella offered a tentative wave, which they both ignored. "I didn't know you guys had tickets to this show."
"We didn't!" Jessica chirped. "We just got them, like, what?" she looked to Lauren for confirmation, "two hours ago?"
I frowned. The show had been sold out since Wednesday. "How?"
"Ben offered up the tickets to the group because he couldn't come."
My frown deepened. That wasn't a good sign. "And you wanted to come?" I clarified, needlessly.
"Of course!" Jessica beamed. "You literally never make group plans; we wanted to show you our support!"
"Besides," Lauren stepped closer and adjusted my partially rolled-up sleeve. Her fingers lingered on my arm, "we were both interested in another little clue to the mystery that is Edward Cullen."
Beside me, Bella's eyes locked onto Lauren's fingers. I wrapped my free arm around her shoulders and yanked her into the conversation. "Well, Bella claims I'm an open book. Anything you want to know about me, she would already know. Ask her anything."
Lauren removed her hand slower than I would have preferred. "Oh, Bella. You look pretty tonight!" Her fake smile looked like had genuinely forgotten Bella's existence.
"I hope you don't mind the two of us sharing your date," Jessica said to Bella, taking another step closer.
Kinder than either of them deserved, Bella brushed her hand against my chest, then circled one finger between the three of them as if to say, there's plenty to go around.
Both girls laughed. Jessica even declared, "Oh my god Bella, you're actually funny! I didn't think that was possible."
I sighed, done with this evening before it even began. "Let's go inside, or we're not going to get a spot to sit."
We started down the main strip of merchandise booths and food stands that eventually led to the stage with Jessica to my left and Lauren to Bella's right. Bella snatched my hand and held it at her stomach in both of hers. On my other side, Jessica filled my ear with her mindless chatter about her day and where she got her dress and if I liked her dress, much like Alice would if she were here instead.
"Bella, you really do look so pretty tonight," Lauren started, and I wished more than anything she would just leave Bella alone and pester me like Jessica, who was currently fishing me into complimenting various aspects of her outfit and hair.
"It's a shame we don't get to hang out at school as much as we should. But, I totally get why you would prefer to spend your time alone with all those nasty rumors being spread about you. You wouldn't want to provoke any more from starting!"
Partially engaged in my conversation with Jessica, I felt Bella clutch my hand.
"Like, what was the last one I heard again? Where you're faking your mutism to get attention or something crazy like that?"
Bella tensed. It was the newest set of rumors about Bella. When she heard, she didn't cry, but she did spend the rest of that day with her face hidden in my neck while we laid in the shallows of the ocean, my feet and her tail lapped at by waves.
"Don't worry," Lauren said, almost patronizingly, "I don't think any of that's true! People can be awful sometimes"
I wanted to roll my eyes. Like she wasn't the one who started them.
"Thank you," Bella signed.
Lauren blinked, "What was that?"
She knew the sign. I fucking knew she knew the sign. I had told her what the sign meant multiple times. Lauren just loved to make sure Bella felt silenced and isolated, like spreading rumors wasn't enough. "She said thank you," I barked.
"Oh, right," she faked a laugh, "I'm so stupid; I always forget."
Around a bend lined with trees sparkling with fairy light, was the actual stage. There were only a few rows of seats right near the front of the stage, and the rest of the viewing area was a large, grassy hill already littered with blankets filled with spectators. The four of us carefully picked through the crowd, I only needed to catch and steady Bella twice as she struggled to maintain her balance.
"Oh, there's a spot!" Jessica exclaimed. Before I could even react, she had her fingers laced through mine and began towing me through the crowd.
The spot wasn't ideal, but it was better than anything I expected us to get at this last minute. Trying not to dwell on the fact that both Ben and Angela as well as Jasper and Alice would have arrived earlier and we would have gotten better seats with either couple, I set up the blanket. The girls watched me in silence, and I could feel all three of their gazes boring into my lower back, filling me with different levels of discomfort.
I figured I would be the one to sit beside Jessica or Lauren to act as a barrier between Bella and them, but right away, Bella stepped purposefully on the blanket and plopped herself down in the middle. She patted the spot on the blanket next to the grass, declaring where she wanted me to sit, and I easily complied. I waited until Lauren and Jessica were seated and Bella was settled before I wrapped my arm around her.
The house lights dimmed, and the audience around us silenced, bringing their attention to the stage. The opening act sauntered onto the stage with their introductions and received a polite cheer from the crowd. During their third song, Bella tugged on my sleeve to get my attention.
"What's up?"
She pointed vaguely in front of us—at what, I wasn't sure. Bella quickly grew impatient waiting for me to find what it was, and she grabbed my chin and pointed my face towards exactly what she wanted me to see. It was the handheld fan an older, heavyset woman held up to her face on the blanket in front of us. I didn't understand why Bella brought this particular object to my attention, until the woman hit a trigger with her thumb, misting her face and the air around her with water.
"Oh, fuck," I muttered. I yanked Bella's legs out of the way before they could be misted. Half of me wanted to growl at the woman to put it away—why was she even using it? It wasn't that hot outside. Not one for confrontation if it could be avoided, I pulled Bella's legs onto my lap, twisting her along with them.
"Is this okay?" I whispered, to which she nodded. She wiggled into a more comfortable position leaning against my chest. I kissed her forehead and rested my cheek on her head, allowing my eyes to close, where I stayed for the short remainder of the song. When I opened my eyes, they met Lauren's, staring blankly at my face. I stayed in place while she seemed to connect two puzzle pieces in her mind. Suddenly, her eyes came back into focus, bore wickedly into mine, and she turned over to Jessica to share whatever realization she had with her friend.
The opener concluded with a banger, and the house lights illuminated while the stage was re-set for the main act. Bella lifted her head from where it was settled against my shoulder, squinting at the sudden brightness.
"Is it over?" she signed.
"No, baby, that was only the first act."
Her face dropped in blatant disbelief that there could be more of this. I laughed.
The audience around us shifted and stood to stretch or walk back out to the main strip for a snack or a bathroom break—Jessica and Lauren among them.
"We'll" be right back," Lauren announced, linking her arm through Jessica's. Bella and I watched them pick through the dense crowd until they were finally out of sight.
"What do you think happened to Ben and Angela?" Bella asked.
I sighed and rested my cheek against her head again. "Either Ben never got the nerve to ask Angela out, or Angela turned him down."
"I don't think Angela would turn him down."
"I hope not."
"Why do you think he gave Jessica and Lauren the extra tickets?"
"To punish me for setting him up for rejection."
Under my cheek, Bella shook her head in disapproval, "Ben would never punish you with something so cruel."
I grinned. That was the closest Bella had ever come to directly insulting someone. It was surprisingly enjoyable. "You think time with them is a cruel punishment?"
She flushed and sank her shoulders, embarrassed from being called out. "I don't like the way they look at you," she admitted.
"What a coincidence—I didn't like the way they speak to you."
"They act as if you already belong to them and I'm standing in the way of the inevitable."
I kissed her earlobe, her jaw, and finished with the corner of her mouth. "I'm yours, through and through. Even if you didn't exist, I would never be with either of them."
Her cheek rose as she smiled. She disguised her genuine pleasure over my statement by poking fun at it. "If I didn't exist? That's a bit morbid."
I kissed her earlobe again. "You can't exist in any scenario that I wouldn't be with you. Otherwise, I would always end up with you."
"What if you didn't transfer to the same school as me?"
Another peck at her cheek, "I would have eventually found you, anyway. I would have moved here on my own after I left the system."
"What if I never left the ocean?"
"I would have developed the strangest urge to become a marine biologist and I would have found you down there."
She silently laughed. "You're silly."
"I know," I used my hand to softly guide her head against my chest and kept it there to stroke my thumb along her ear. I almost told her I loved her right then, but I held back the words. I had a plan, and I wasn't going to spoil it.
Too soon, Jessica and Lauren returned, effectively killing the mood. I released Bella when they were a few steps away so she could scoot into a more appropriate position.
Both girls held a water bottle in each hand. "We brought you guys some, too," Jessica said, as she offered one to me.
"Oh. Thanks," I took both from her so she could sit down. "No lids?" I asked, glancing at the open bottles.
Jessica shrugged as she took her water back from me. "They don't allow them. I guess it's the prevent heckling or litter or something."
"You too, Bella," Lauren held out one of her two. As Bella accepted the bottle, Lauren pushed it into Bella's hand with too much force, and some water spilled out of the bottle and onto Bella's arm. Struggling not to look alarmed at the spill, Bella quickly switched the water bottle into her other hand and wiped the water onto my shirt sleeve. I gently rubbed her lower back with my hand, as a gesture to tell her using me as a napkin was alright.
"Thank you," Bella signed again, to which Lauren surprisingly responded, "You are so welcome."
The brief interaction seemed to please Lauren immensely, though I had no idea why.
The lights dimmed once more, announcing the start of the main act. The audience roared as Tracy Chapman sauntered on stage, already holding her guitar. She dove straight into her set, not bothering with an introduction. Bella slumped into my side, where she stayed motionless. I could practically feel her intense desire to take the book out of her bag. Every so often, I would pull her with me as I swayed to the music. She really hated whenever I clapped her hands for her, like she was a child. Once, she actually bobbed her head to the beat, but immediately stopped when she noticed me noticing her.
In the middle of Talking 'Bout a Revolution, Jessica poked at Bella's arm, "Bella?"
Instinctively, my grip tightened around Bella's waist.
Jessica either didn't notice or pretended not to notice. "Lauren and I are going to run to the restroom. Do you need to come?"
Pulling Bella closer to me, I opened my mouth to refuse on Bella's behalf, but Bella nodded and signed that she would like to go.
"Will you be alright?" I whispered against her temple as Jessica and Lauren took an extra second to gather their belongings. Not only did I not want her alone with Lauren and Jessica, but Tracy could play Baby Can I Hold You at any time now.
"It will be good if I go, right? Human things."
It definitely wouldn't hurt.
"Alright. Hurry back." I helped her stand, holding back the I love you that was always on the cusp of slipping out these days. I kissed her knuckles before releasing her hand.
I missed her the very moment she stepped off the blanket.
Naturally, the next song she played was Baby Can I Hold You. On top of ruining my date, Jessica and Lauren managed to ruin my plan without even trying. It was for the best, I supposed. The gesture wouldn't have been as romantic sitting beside two of Bella's tormentors. As Tracy finished out the song, I sang along, devising a new plan.
The song ended and Tracy started up another. Then, another. And there was still no sign of Bella, Lauren, or Jessica.
Worry weighing heavily in my gut, I stood. Several audience members hissed in annoyance as my height blocked their view as I passed, but I made it out of the maze of blankets without stepping on anyone or kicking over anyone's drink. Out of the stage area, I beelined straight for the ladies' room. Before I even got there, I caught a glimpse of Alice's signature spikey, black hair in a narrow gap between two snack bars. It looked like Alice had come to the concert, after all. I started towards her, hoping maybe she had seen Bella.
As I got closer, I could see Lauren standing just past her and Jessica looking on at the two of them. Bella was nowhere to be seen. They were in the middle of an argument. Jessica and Lauren scowled at Alice as she held a cup high in the air, as if she was using it to taunt the girls.
"Look how freaked she is!" Lauren exclaimed.
Alice scoffed. "She's scared because you have her backed into a corner with no way to speak for herself!"
"Oh please! I saw the way she reacted towards a small drop of water on her. And at your party, Edward whisked her to safety in a shed during the water balloon fight. All I'm asking is for her to prove that she's not afraid!"
Some of the liquid splashed out of her cup as Alice waved it even higher in the air, "Well, maybe we should test and see if you're afraid of Diet Cherry Doctor Pepper!"
"Do it, and I'll do the same to her." Lauren shifted and held up her own cup, revealing my Bella cornered between a fence and the surrounding buildings.
"Bella?" Bella visibly perked up when I called her name. "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine!" All three other girls spoke in unison, each dropping their defensive stances and lowering their arms.
"So, we can go back to the show?" I asked, holding out my hand for Bella. She tentatively stepped past all three, trying very hard not to make eye contact with any of them. She accepted my outstretched hand, squeezing it so tightly it almost hurt.
Lauren smiled tightly at Alice, "I think Jessica and I are going to head out. We have some research to do."
With no intention of saying goodbye to neither Jessica nor Lauren, I turned to take Bella back to our blanket. After a single step, I stopped and called over my shoulder, "You coming, Alice?"
"Yupp! I better get back to… my friends." For whatever reason, it stung that she felt uncomfortable saying that she was here with Jasper outright.
As the three of us began to head back, Bella stumbled briefly, but quickly regained her balance and caught up to me. A dainty snort and a giggle sounded from behind us. I chose to ignore it, but Alice had another idea. Gracefully, Alice turned on her heels, flinging the contents of her drink behind her, and stepped right back into place with Bella and me.