This chapter starts out a little lemony. Nothing very graphic—it's all very sweet. However, something crucial does happen during that part, so if it's not your thing and you skip over it, DM me and I'll explain its importance.
In the middle of the night, I yawned, stretched, and rolled over to my side. With a start, I realized that movement should have crushed my mermaid. I stretched my arm across the bed, searching. Finding nothing but sheets, I bolted upright and scanned the room.
Bella sat on the floor of my closet. Her legs were crossed, and her graduation cap was in her lap as she stroked the tassels. When Alice told Bella she was supposed to paint the mortarboard with a quote or a picture, she thought my sister was trying to prank her. It wasn't until Alice showed Bella her own cap and pictures from her graduation that Bella believed her. Bella became quickly overwhelmed by the number of book quotes she wanted to use. Instead of making her decide, Alice typed them all up with different fonts and helped Bella make a collage on her hat. It looked white from where I was on the bed, but as I crossed the room and sat behind her, the quotes became legible.
"Hey." Carefully, I rolled up the sleeve of the T-shirt of mine Bella borrowed to sleep in so I could place a kiss on her shoulder. "You nervous?"
Still fiddling with the tassels, Bella shrugged.
"You shouldn't be. Not only are you the smartest and most deserving in your class, but you're also going to look the hottest wearing that robe."
She reached back and thumped me on the forehead with the heel of her hand. I chuckled.
"Everything's going to be different," she signed.
"Nothing's going to be different," I promised. "We're still going to be together. I'm still going to love you."
She smiled at that. Briefly.
"I haven't thought about anything after high school. I know you think I can do whatever I want, but I don't know."
I pulled her up and sat her on my leg. She tucked her head under my chin. Sensing her stress, I regretted my request for her to think beyond high school. I figured dreaming up a human life would be a fun activity—not an obligation to fulfill.
"Then don't worry about it." I said, rubbing my hand up and down her back, "Do whatever you want—I'm only asking to be included."
"I don't want to hold you back."
"You never will," I promised.
Which reminded me of something else we needed to discuss. While Bella would never hold me back, I realized earlier that night that I might have been restricting her unintentionally. She had asked me to stand on the beach while she hunted in the ocean so I wouldn't be obstructed by the rocks. It was such a small thing to enforce, but she did it with uncharacteristic aggression. At first, it frightened me. Alice's warnings and Lauren's suspicions had rung in my head like warning bells.
But, as I thought about the Bella I loved, I realized the reason behind her actions. In the midst of the chaos of the last few weeks, we had briefly discussed how worried I was whenever she disappeared into the ocean and out of my sight. She stayed with me and remained in my line of sight to ease my worries. Bella acted only out of love. She confirmed my theory by signing her love back to me, as quiet as a sign could be.
It was sweet, but ultimately unnecessary. I would always worry after her, no matter what. There was no need for Bella to accommodate my silly fears.
"And I don't want to hold you back either, Bella. I appreciate the thought behind…" I didn't want to call her out, "everything. It's sweet. I would probably be doing the same thing if I were in your shoes—er—tail, I guess. But you should absolutely feel free to do your thing. I'm going to worry over everything, all the time. You shouldn't burden yourself to prevent something that's ultimately unpreventable."
I could sense how vague I was being. Bella didn't respond.
"Do you get what I'm saying, sweetheart?" I asked, hopefully.
She thought for a moment, then nodded. I blew out a breath of relief. I may have been an incomprehensible idiot, but Bella was astute enough for the both us of.
"The most important thing to me is that I'm with you. None of the in-between stuff matters. You can sit out on rocks and lure sailors to your siren call every day as long as I'm the one who gets to kiss you."
I rubbed her arms. "You're still going to kiss me as a high school graduate, right?"
She offered a small smile before she pecked my lips.
"Mmmm. That's all I need."
Her shoulders shook with silent laughter. I stood, thinking her fears were eased and my job was done. However, she remained on the closet floor, making no signals to move. I sat right back down, wondering what more I could do to help her.
"Remember what you did that one time to calm me down?" she signed.
My eyebrows rose. "I do," I said simply, hoping with my entire heart that she was saying what I thought she was saying. Now that my fake sex life was a standard subject of ridicule among my siblings, I was slowly becoming aware of how I longed for a real one. Bella and I hadn't been intimate since our time in the garage during Alice's birthday party. Bella never initiated anything, so I figured it wasn't her thing and never pressed her for more than kissing. But, if she wanted me to touch her as I did that day, the possibility of more could become a reality.
"Will you do it again?"
I sealed my lips and merely nodded my head, so I wouldn't accidentally shout for joy. Nothing like pathetic desperation to kill a mood.
I gathered her up into my arms and carried her over to the bed. I wasn't sure how I wanted to begin, but it didn't matter because Bella took control immediately. She twisted in my arms with a grace and speed that left me breathless even before she pressed her lips to mine. Without giving me a chance to breathe, she pushed on my shoulders until I lay on the bed underneath her.
The way she rubbed against my hips told me she had something much more in mind than what we did at the party. I lifted my hands to her arms and rubbed the backs of them gently, trying to coax her into letting up so I could speak. But—without even breaking the kiss—she grabbed hold of my wrists and pinned them to the pillow.
"Bella?"
The sound of her name only caused her to deepen the kiss.
"Please, stop," I tried to speak around her lips, but it sounded incomprehensible to even me.
She must have understood, because the next second, she sat up, her hands clasped together and held tightly to her chest. Her eyes were woefully apologetic.
"No, no, no." I tried to sit up with her, but she was still on my torso. Realizing what I wanted, she crawled off me and laid down on the bed beside me. I trailed my finger down her cheek and along her chin, "I'm not upset."
She looked up at me doubtfully.
"I'm just making sure this is what we want to do." I swallowed. I loved Bella with everything I was, but I was fairly certain I only wanted to take this step with someone who loved me back. I knew she felt it back; she showed her love every day without words. But, if we were going to do this, I needed the words. I wanted her to say it, proud and clear.
"I know that I love you. Do you love me?"
Taking my hand into both of hers, she pushed my middle and ring fingers down and straightened the other three, forming the sign I love you with my hand. She brought my hand up to her lips and kissed all three fingers.
As innocently sweet as she was, she was dodging the question. "Baby…"
She held up the same sign on her own hand. A playful smile hinted on the corner of her lips as she bumped our fists together, making our I love yous kiss.
Feeling as though I'd been given a gift too great to comprehend, I smiled. Knowing was one thing, watching her say it was something else. At that moment, I could have laughed or cried or screamed out into the night in celebration. But I settled for thanking her softly.
Bella was not so soft in her response. She launched herself at me, as hungrily as she did the first time. As hungry as I was for her, I stopped her again. This time, she looked exasperated rather than apologetic when she pulled away.
"This is important," I promised, swinging my legs off the bed. I wasn't sure if I was able to get a mermaid pregnant, but today was not going to be the day I found out. For once, I was grateful for Alice's lie to my parents, because it led Esme to gift me exactly what I needed. I stepped into the bathroom, pulled out what I needed from under the sink, and rushed back to my mermaid.
Bella had done some searching in the brief moments I was gone as well. She held my iPod out as an offering, placing it in my hand as I rejoined her on the bed.
"Just in case," she explained.
I nodded in understanding. Just in case she accidentally made a sound.
I realized with a quick pang of sadness that I would never hear her soft cries of pleasure. I shook the thought. There was no need to dwell on unimportant details. I was with this fantastical creature, and she loved me back.
With one hand, she pulled the T-shirt up and over her head. I wanted to be the one to do that, but there would be other chances to undress her myself. I hoped. I did the same, then scrolled through my playlists to find something suitable for the mood, even if Bella wouldn't be able to hear. When I looked up, her beautiful, bare body lay before me. I took a moment to marvel at this impossible creature. I wanted her from the moment I laid eyes on her. And I was going to have every part of her.
I started by brushing my fingers along the petal-soft skin of her hips. Painfully slow, I traced the crease of her leg and let my thumb run through the silky curls.
My fingers teased and coaxed. She trembled once, twice, and then in a constant rhythm that moved faster and faster along with my fingers. A final surge of tension broke, and she shattered beautifully. Slowly, oh so slowly, I brought her back down, taking my caresses from demanding to soothing. Luring each last sweet shudder from her in soft waves, sipping the soft cries I could not hear from her damp mouth.
"May I?" My whisper was so soft, that I couldn't hear myself.
To my immense pleasure, Bella nodded.
Slowly and safely, I offered myself to her. I placed a gentle kiss on her neck and let my lips linger there as I slipped inside.
And then there was nothing but her.
Bella overwhelmed my senses until she was all that I knew of this world. I needed to please her. I was made only to please her. I continued rhythmically in one position until she repositioned herself and my body followed without my conscious instruction to do so. I wasn't able to raise my face from where it was against her neck until Bella placed her soft fingers under my chin and repositioned my face so I was looking at her. I stayed in place ever after she removed her fingers, waiting until she gave another instruction. My lower body continued to pump at the speed her hips rocked, waiting for the signal that she was satisfied with me.
Something in my face gave her pause.
When her hips stopped, mine immediately stopped with them.
She quirked her head to the side. With her fingertips, she gently pushed my cheek until I was looking to the left, where my gaze would remain until she allowed me to look at her again.
With my head to the side where she wanted it, I was unable to see her expression as she pushed my chest up, so I was hovering over her in a high push-up plank. I didn't feel her slide out from under me, but suddenly I carefully rearranged so I was laying on my back in bed. So tenderly, she stroked the lines of my face until my breathing slowed and evened. I hadn't even realized I put my body under any strain, but I suddenly realized it was wobbly—like how it would feel after an intense cardio burst.
Along with her gentle caresses, Bella pressed her lips to mine over and over again until the rest of the world filled back in around her. At some point, she had removed the headphones, but I couldn't remember when.
"Bella?" I covered her hand with mine, so it fully cupped my cheek.
She looked oddly relieved at the sound of my voice.
I realized I needed to clean myself up. I didn't even feel my own release. In the heat of the moment, only Bella's mattered. Feeling my ears turn red, I quietly excused myself and darted into the bathroom as casually as I could manage. Once I was clean, I washed my hands. Then my face, while I was at it.
Bella was curiously cautious when I returned to the bedroom. She had put her T-shirt back on. I pulled on my pair of sweatpants.
I offered her a comforting smile as I rejoined her in the bed. Her fingers traced the contours of my face, searching for something.
"It was great," I reassured her, in case that was the issue, "You were great."
She bit her lip. She twisted her fingers together, a nervous tick when she didn't know what to say. When she released her bottom lip, it spread out into a smile. "You were great, too."
OoO
I awoke to a small, soft thumb stroking my bottom lip. Fighting back a smile that would give me away, I tried to surprise it with a bite. My mermaid's reflexes were faster than mine, and she dodged my attack.
The bed shook with her silent giggles. I chuckled as well.
I was relieved with how normal things felt between Bella and me after last night. Our playful, wordless banter. Our legs intertwined under the sheets. Part of me worried that with sex, our relationship dynamic would change somehow. Even better than something changing for the good, things felt exactly the same. Like this was how we would always be.
"Good morning," I murmured.
I opened my eyes to see her inches away from my face. I flinched back reflexively from the proximity. Her sweet smile morphed into a sheepish grin as she apologized for scaring me.
"No worries," I said, tightening the loose hold I had around her in my sleep, "In fact, you being too close is the best problem I can imagine."
In my embrace, she wiggled happily at that.
"When do you have to be at the school?" Bella's truck was parked at the same beach it had been parked at for the past two weeks. I was going to have to drop Bella off early for her class's graduation rehearsal.
She held up all ten of her fingers, then two more. I glanced at the clock. We had plenty of time. "Do you want to eat before?"
Bella didn't look too enthusiastic at the thought of getting out of bed, but something must have occurred to her, because her eyes popped open, and she immediately sat up, pulling me up with her.
"Okay, I'm going to go for a run," I said, testing Bella on what we had discussed briefly. Plus, I really could use a run. Ever since Bella spent her nights with me, I traded morning sessions in the gym with my brothers for snuggle sessions with my girlfriend. I wasn't complaining. But, my body was starting to feel the absence of exercise.
She nodded, not even questioning where I would be or if she would be able to see me. A good sign that we were past the clinginess and miscommunication.
It was early enough in the morning on a Saturday that sneaking Bella down the stairs and out the back door was easy. The members of my family were either getting ready, making breakfast, or still asleep. All things that kept them from paying attention to the backyard and the dirt path that led to our small private beach. Bella and I kissed before we parted—her in the water, me down the shoreline. Only once did I spot a human head far out in the distance through the corner of my eyes. I smiled to myself. This time, I didn't rush out into the waves to save the supposed drowning person, only to drown myself.
Two miles in, I turned around and ran back to the house. The water looked particularly appealing after my run. I jumped all the way in before helping Bella out. I wrapped a towel around her and let her drape a second one over my shoulders. She stayed in my arms until she was dry enough to stand, and a little longer. Apparently, watching me run had built up a lot of affection in Bella that she needed to express.
Going back into the house was going to be trickier. Both wrapped in our towels, I pushed Bella through the back door. We had only taken three steps when Esme's voice called into the room, making me jump.
"Oh, Bella!"
Reflexively, I pushed Bella behind me, though it was obvious she had already been spotted. Esme strolled into the room, her expression light, open. Not angry or suspicious in the least. She looked at our wet hair with silent questions in her eyes. Luckily, there was an easy explanation that wasn't too far from the truth. "Bella wanted to go to graduation together," I said, placing my hand on the small of her back. "She caught me coming back from a run on the beach."
Esme put her hands on her hips and tilted her chin down at Bella to study her. "And what? You threw her into the ocean to thank her for taking the extra trip to see you?"
It wasn't hard to fake a smile. "I threw myself in right after."
"Boys." Esme shook her head, feigning exasperation, "I apologize for my son's unruly behavior."
Bella mirrored Esme's expression, then patted my arm affectionately.
"I'm sure he will be polite enough to allow you to shower and change in peace?" Esme rose her eyebrows at me, expectantly.
"Yes, ma'am."
She nodded approvingly. She caressed Bella's elbow and ran her hand through my hair on her way out of the room.
"Oh, Edward. You'll be driving Bella to the school?" Esme asked me at the door.
I hummed a confirmation.
"Then you are responsible for getting us the good seats."
"Yes ma'am," I repeated.
"Thank you, sweetie."
As soon as Esme stepped out of the room, Bella and I shared a relieved smile. After two weeks, that had been the closest we'd been to getting caught. I tugged on a strand of her hair, "Sorry for throwing you into the ocean."
She stuck her tongue out at me.
At the school, I walked Bella to the entrance of the gym, where the graduates were congregating to rehearse. Bella looked stunningly gorgeous in a pale, yellow sundress, with her hair half up in a ponytail that kept it out of her face but still flowed freely down her back and around her shoulders.
"I love you," I reminded her as I released her hand.
The sweetest, shyest smile spread across her face. She did her best to hide it as she signed back, "I love you," for the first time without prompting. I couldn't handle it. I yanked her right back to me by the waist and pulled her up and in for a kiss. The kiss was definitely too deep for a public display of affection, but I didn't care. We kissed until someone inside announced for all students to line up alphabetically.
I leaned against the doorframe, watching Bella quietly melt into the crowd of students. I wasn't thrilled with the idea of sitting in an empty auditorium for the next two hours to reserve seats for my family. I wished I had thought to bring a book until I remembered Bella usually kept one in my car. It was most likely one of her period romance novels, but it would be better than nothing. I searched the crowd for Bella, hoping to see her one more time before heading to the car, when an elbow was thrust into my chest, effectively shoving me out of the way.
"What the—" I started and met the scathing eyes of Douchebag Ponytail. I was pleased to see his nose was still in a cast. His scowl grew more pronounced as my stare lingered on his broken nose.
"You know what's going to be the best part about paying you back for this?" he asked in a nasal voice that diluted the threat.
When I didn't dignify him with a response, he answered his own question, "Hearing my name on those lips of hers."
I tensed. My nails dug into my palms as I clenched my fists. "Leave her alone."
My agitation did nothing but please him. "I'm a curious man. I gotta know how that voice sounds." He grinned, "Even if it comes out as a scream."
Nothing would make me happier than James hearing Bella's voice, for I knew exactly what would happen to him if he did. The ignorant oaf turned and entered the gym with a lightness in his step, proud of his threat to an innocent girl.
It took me a second to remember how to breathe.
Bella would be okay, I reminded myself. I asked her to fight back, and she was more than capable of doing so. If he set a single finger on her, she would give him a broken nose of her own. If she didn't, I would hunt him down myself.
I walked out to my car and fought the urge to punch something. After three laps around the parking lot, I was calm enough to grab Bella's book and go to the auditorium. The room was empty, and it was easy enough to find six seats near the stage. I was right—the book was a romance novel. The couple was on their third encounter when I heard Esme's voice and the familiar click of her heels. "You were right, hon, he's right here." She kissed the top of my head and sat beside me.
Carlisle took the seat to her right. I had saved the two next to me with Alice and Jasper in mind, but Alice sat on the end, next to Carlisle. Emmett and Jasper filled in beside me, already laughing at a private joke. Most likely, it had to do with the romance novel in my hand. Esme asked me about the book, and we discussed it, and others like it, until someone tapped on the microphone in the center of the stage, calling attention up to him.
Graduation began with no grandeur or flourish. The principal spoke, then the most prestigious alumnus they could find. Esme cried openly as Rosalie gave her speech, then was the only person to give a standing ovation when she finished.
After four speeches, Pomp and Circumstance finally started and the graduates lined up at the stage. I searched for Bella in the line-up. Despite seeing her only less than two hours ago, I already missed her. The sole issue with spending all our time together. Now, when she wasn't by my side, my entire body felt her absence.
My whole family burst into applause when Rosalie's name was called, and then again for Bella. Strangely, Bella rushed onto the stage from the side instead of the line-up with the rest of the students. Eventually, the last name was called. The hats were thrown, and the ceremony concluded just as it began. Esme pulled me up to my feet to applaud with everyone else. The moment the speaker left the stage, the audience erupted into chaos, as families and graduates searched for one another.
I frowned, looking for Bella. We hadn't decided on a spot to meet up, and I realized far too late we should have.
"Come on, Edward" Esme tugged at my arm. My family was already moving, presumably to meet Rosalie in a predetermined location.
"One sec," I muttered, scanning the auditorium. Worry started to settle in the pit of my stomach. Bella should have stumbled through the crowd and into my arms by now. "I should wait for Bella."
"She's going to celebrate with her father, honey. Just like you are going to celebrate with your sister."
Right. Charlie.
Stupidly, I didn't even think about Charlie. Of course he was here, and of course Bella would be with him. It would have been odd if Charlie—who fought for her attendance at this school—missed his daughter's graduation. And even odder if his own daughter ignored him.
Esme wrapped her hands around my arm as we followed the rest of the family. Rosalie waited for us outside of her homeroom with a bouquet of flowers already in her hands. No one asked who it was from, because we all knew the answer. She gave my mother the shortest amount of attention Esme would tolerate—which was a full thirty minutes—before Rosalie left us to go to the first of many, many graduation parties. Graduation parties Bella had not been invited to, but I tried my best not to dwell on that.
The family went to dinner without either of our graduates. By the time we finally got home, I wondered if I was going to see Bella that night, or if she was going to be out on Charlie's boat for the rest of the weekend. My questions were answered the moment I flipped on the light switch.
And found an empty room.
I played a record I knew Bella wasn't fond of and crawled into my empty to finish the romance novel. This was what I asked of her, I reminded myself with a resounding sigh. To go about her days without my interference. I couldn't exactly be upset with Bella for doing exactly what I wanted. Apparently, she missed her ocean slumber. Although, a large part of me hoped she wanted to spend her night with me as much as I wanted to spend mine with her.