Part Seven

None of them had expected that decision, anything but that. Celebrian burried her head in her hands, the idea bringing her to tears and Elorhir screwed his eyes closed as though he were trying to shut out what his brother had just said. Elrond couldn't bring himself to say anything the idea had flittered through his mind earlier, but he had shut the thought out. Elladan was strong, he never gave up this easily.

"I don't want to die," Elladan whispered when no one spoke. "Don't you understand? If I die I will never see you again."

Elrond swallowed hard stroking Elrohir's hair as he started to cry again wondering idly how the boy could have any tears left. Once again Elrond's words ran dry and he just stared at Elladan wordlessly. There had to be another way, there had to be.

"Elladan," the Elven Lord finally managed. "Elladan you can't..."

"I wish there was another way," Elladan said managing to sit up this time without either of his parents stopping him. He winced as his back stang and his leg moved, making him bite his lip to stop himself crying out. Elrond noticed the pained expression, but at the moment he didn't have the heart to move Elrohir, and besides, Elladan would only protest. "I don't want to go to Mandos' halls, I want to be with you, and even if that means having to wait at least I know that eventually I will be with you again." Elladan felt tears sting his eyes as he spoke, how could this be happening? He knew that there was something very wrong here, he hadn't suffered any great berivment, it was only a bad knock to the head, he shouldn't be making this decision at all. But when faced with the choice of either the glittering shores of Valinor or the darkness of Mandos' halls the decision was an easy one. How could he hope to survive an operation that had never before been sucessful?

"Elladan," Celebrian whispered from his other side. "Please, don't do this, don't go, I won't be able to watch you leave." She groped for her son's unbangaged hand clinging onto it desperatly as though Elladan was already drifting away from her. "Elladan saesa."

"Nana what other choice do I have?" Elladan asked sadly squeezing his mother's hand to reassure her that he was still here. Elrond noticed that his son was being oddly grown up about this and wasn't entirely sure if this was a good or bad thing.

"You can't go," Elrohir managed pulling out of his father's embrace and moving over to his twin. "Elladan you can't go please, I'll die if you do."

Elladan winced at his brother's words, understanding how terrible his decision must be for his twin. "Ada and Nana will look after you."

"No 'Dan please!" Elrohir practically shouted. "Don't go, don't even think about it."

"Elrohir," Elladan said moving his hand from his mother's to his twin's "You'll be alright without me here."

"No I won't," Elrohir whispered tears starting in his eyes once again. "The only reason I got through everything the past few days is because you were here," his voice dropped so low that only his twin could hear him. "We would have died that day without each other, you know it."

Elladan nodded slowly looking away. He couldn't do this to Elrohir, he could feel the anguish coursing through his twin. He couldn't leave Elrohir here to die. He looked across at his father seeing the way his eyes were shining then glanced to his mother who had burried her head in her hands again. Finally he turned back to his twin. His brother's eyes were watering and he was trying desperatly to keep himself calm.

"I can't do it can I?" He asked speaking more to himself than anyone else. "I can't leave you, it would tear you apart."

"What do you want to do then?" Elrond asked his heart skiping a beat as his son looked at him. "Elladan it is your choice, do not let us sway your decision. We understand your want to leave for Valinor."

"No," Elladan said shaking his head. "I would not be able to stand it, even if Valinor is eternal peace." He sighed wearily. "There is only one other choice I have; I have to have the operation."

None of them were sure whether this conclusion was better or worse than the one Elladan had given before. They all understood why Elladan had wanted to leave, after all at least in Valinor he would see them again, so was it really better this way?

"You can do it can't you Ada?" Elladan asked his father trying to catch his eye.

Elrond nodded. "I will try ion-nin."

A few hours later and Elladan was already being prepared for surgery. The elder of the peredhil twins lay alone in his room, he had been sleeping, but he had woken feeling the warm afternoon sun on his face. He did not know where his parents and brother had gone and at first he had been concerned that they had left him, but then he had just decided to relax. His head screamed at him to try and find them, or at least call for them - after all these could be the last hours he had on Arda with them. After a short while of mulling over the fact he had decided that maybe it would be best not to be with them, maybe it would be best for all of them.

The creak of the door as it swung open startled Elladan out of his thoughts and he looked round to see Elrohir peeking into the room. He smiled as Elrohir's face lit up obviously glad that he was awake.

"I thought you were sleeping," the younger twin said his voice overly loud in the quiet room as he shut the door carefully and made his way over to the bed perching on the soft mattress beside his brother.

"I was."

A sad silence hung in the air for a long while and Elrohir looked away from his brother picking at the bedsheets. Eventually he spoke: "How are you feeling?"

"Alright," Elladan said softly.

"When... when are you...?" Elrohir's words ran dry as he found himself unable to finish the sentence.

Elladan understood what his brother wanted to know and let out a sigh looking out of the window. "An hour, maybe more, I'm not really sure."

Elrohir closed his eyes trying not to let the tears held there spill over as he dropped his head slightly, his raven hair shadowing his face. Elladan stretched his hand down to clasp his brother's, stilling it's movements as Elrohir continued to pick idly at the bed clothes.

"I''m going to be alright 'Ro," Elladan tried to reassure his twin. "Trust me."

"I do," Elrohir said his voice coming out in a choked whisper. "But I..."

"You don't think I will be alright?" Elladan asked trying to catch his twin's silver gaze.

"Yes, I mean no, I do... I..." Elrohir looked up at his brother helplessly and Elladan could see the tears there just waiting to spill. "I'm frightened 'Dan."

"I'm frightened too," Elladan agreed squeezing his twins hand tighter. "But I'll be alright. And... and if anything does go amiss you know I'll always be with you in here." Elladan reached forwards and tapped his brother's chest near his heart. A small smile spread across the elder twins face face before he sobered and changed the subject. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," Elrohir answered nonchalantly.

"No I mean it 'Ro," Elladan said his eyes worried. Elrohir had changed his shirt, probably meaning that his wounds had bloodied his old shirt, and Elrohir needed to know if he was alright. "How's your back?"

"It's fine 'Dan, Ada just changed the bandages and he says it's healing well," Elrohir said stopping his brother before he could ask about anything else. "What about you? Is your back alright? If you have a head ache or something then you should tell Ada." Elrohir said worridley trying to shut out the memories of his fitting brother. He knew they would never leave him, no matter how much he wanted them too.

"Everything's fine," Elladan reassured him.

"Not it's not," Elrohir whispered. "I don't want you to go," the younger twin finally let the tears spill over. "'Dan please don't leave me. I don't know anything about death, but if there is a time when you have a chance to choose between life and death-"

"Elrohir," Elladan said cutting his twin off mid-sentence. "I'm not going anywhere trust me."

"Promise you'll come back to me," Elrohir choked out. "Promise you won't let yourself die in there."

"I promise Elrohir," Elladan soothed pulling his twin into an embrace with his good arm. "I'm not going anywhere." Elrohir clung to his brother never wanting to let go tears spilling down his cheeks. "It'll be alright 'Ro." Elladan told his twin even though inside he was not so sure. How could it possibly be alright? He was going to his death.

"Elrond, you shouldn't be the one to do the operation," Nesteron said looking at Elrond concerned as he mixed a sedative in a beaker on a table top that had been setup in one of the healing rooms.

"Elladan needs me," Elrond protested brow furrowed. "Besides I will be fine Nesteron, there is no need for concern." Elrond went to cut more of the herb he had been using, but his hands were shaking so much that the knife slipped cutting his finger. The Elven Lord threw the knife down on the chopping board turning his back on it and folding his arms across his chest. The elder elf looked at his bleeding finger for a moment before sticking it in his mouth and sucking on it glaring daggers at anything and everything in the room.

Nesteron knew that Elrond was daring him to say something, just from the dark look the Elven Lord was giving him, but he knew that he had to comment on the fact that it was a very bad idea for Elrond to do the operation.

"Elrond please let me do it," Nesteron begged. "I know how much you want to be there for the boy, but if you let your emotions get the better of you then everything could go wrong."

"I have to help him," Elrond said frantically taking his finger out of his mouth. "He's my son, I can't... I can't just wait..."

"I've attempted this operation before Elrond, I know what to do. The Haematoma+ is in the postcentral gyrus+ I can remove it easily enough," he paused looking at the Elven Lord to see if his explanation was having any affect before continuing. "I have been going over notes about this operation when it has been attempted before and I think I can do it."

"That's not good enough," Elrond snapped. "We think we can do a lot of things, but we can't."

"I have a better chance of saving him than you do whilst you're like this," Nesteron said calmly leveling Elrond's gaze with his own pale green eyes. "I know you are the better healer than I, but please let me operate on him. If you want then you can supervise me, but I think it would be better if I did the operation."

Elrond shook his head mutely.

"Elrond you are shaking so much that you cannot hold a knife, if you think I am letting you anywhere near your son like that then you are deeply mistaken," Nesteron said looking his friend in the eye and pinning him with a firm gaze. "I can do this."

Elrond nodded raising up his hands in defeat. "Fine, fine." He turned back to the chopping board finishing mixing the herbs into the beaker and turning back to Nesteron. "Just be careful Nesteron please. I am going to go and see Elladan now," he said his voice oddly empty as he left the room carrying the beaker in a trembling hand.

Elrond found Celebrian before going to Elladan knowing that both his wife and son would want to have a while to talk to each other in case the operation went ill. Now both of them walked down to the healing room where Elladan was staying Elrond trying to stop himself from dropping the glass whilst Celebrian bit down on her lip so hard it began to bleed.

When they entered the room they weren't really surprised to find that Elrohir was in there with him curled up on the bed next to his brother, fast asleep. At first the elder elves thought that both of the twins were asleep, but Elladan opened his eyes when he heard the pair of them come in and looked across at his parents.

"How are you feeling?" Elrond asked setting the glass down on the bedside table. Elladan glanced at it noting that there was most certainly a herb in it and knowing what it was for. He flicked his eyes away from it quickly not wanting to think about the impending doom that seemed to be closing in around him for a moment.

"I'm fine," Elladan said and smiled slightly. "My arm's got pins and needles though, Elrohir's lying on it."

Elrond grinned glad that his son still managed to find his sense of humor. The Elven Lord's face quickly darkened though as he remembered why he was there and he swallowed hard before speaking. "Elladan, you know what I have come here for," he said his voice shaking ever so slightly. "Is there anything you want to do or say - anything you need to tell your mother?"

Elladan turned his silver gaze on his mother who had moved round the bed to stand at his other side. "Im meleth le Nana," he whispered pulling his hand out of Elrohir's grip and embracing his mother. He clung tightly to her, grabbing a fistful of her golden hair like he had done when he was young as he burried his head in her shoulder for a brief moment. He thought he was going to start crying, but was surprised when he managed to hold the tears back swallowing hard to try and get rid of the lump in his throat.

"I love you too Elladan," Celebrian said softly finally letting go and placing a kiss on his brow, blinking back tears.

"Ada," Elladan turned to his father and Elrond leaned over the sleeping Elrohir to hug his son.

"You'll be alright," Elrond whispered into his son's ear. "I'll make sure you are alright."

"Hannon le," Elladan said quietly.

Elrond couldn't help but think that it was odd for his son to thank him for wanting to keep him alive, but he understood the boys motives all the same. Elladan was frightened, the Elven Lord could tell, his son was shaking so hard that one did not have to touch him to know it. Elrond pulled away slowly and looked at Elrohir for a moment wondering if he should wake the boy.

"Don't wake him up," Elladan said grabbing his father's wrist before he could wake his sleeping twin. "I've said all I can to him; I don't want to say goodbye."

Elrond nodded. "All right," he took the glass from the bedside table handing it to the boy. "Drink it all please."

Elladan took the glass from his father and looked at it slowly smelling the stuff inside the glass before putting it to his lips and gulping down the foul tasting drink. He felt like he was going to be sick, and he wasn't sure whether it was because of the herb or because he was so frightened about what was going to happen to him.

"No," the gasp came from next to him and Elladan knew that Elrohir had woken up. He didn't stop drinking the liquid until he had finished it all knowing that once he put the glass back down he would not be able to make himself pick it up again. Once he had finished he handed the beaker to his father feeling faint and once again he was not sure whether it was becuase of the drug or the fact that he was petrified.

"No Elladan!" Elrohir cried watching as the elder twin slumped back into the pillows his eyes already closing. "No, please Elladan stay awake."

"Sorry 'Ro," Elladan whispered as the inviting darkness of unconsciousness lapped about his vision.

"Please..."

Elladan grabbed his brother's hand and squeezed it tightly finally falling into the darkness - a darkness he might never wake from.

Haematoma - Blood clot

Postcentral gyrus - The part of the brain that controls muscle movments

I don't know if elves use all the big fancy words - specially as most of them are derived from latin - but what else should I call it use? I'm sorry that I updated so late and that the chapter is rather short! Tempus fugit! (Time flies) I really do not understand how this happened! But at least I am updating now right? Thanks for being so patient with me.

Please review!

ElvenHope