April 30, 2006

Dear Journal,

You're not going to believe this! Martin called and he's coming over – he and Sandy broke up!

I was kind of trying to keep the conversation fresh in my mind as it was happening so that I could…remember it to relay to everyone else! Of course I wasn't planning to write the exact conversation in your flimsy pages! No.

But I guess I'd like to have this conversation for future reference. Not that it's a great conversation or anything, no matter how badly I wanted Martin and Sandy to break up before, but…you know, just thought I'd share since you're BEGGING…

R: Camden residence, this is Ruthie speaking.

M: Oh…hey, Ruth.

R: Martin, is that you?

M: Yeah…um…would you all mind if I came over?

R: What's wrong? And tell the truth.

M: Sandy's taking Aaron to Florida.

R: Huh?

M: She's taking Aaron to Florida.

R: You mean like on a trip?

M: No, she's moving in with her sister. And she's taking Aaron with her.

R: You mean she LEFT YOU?

M: Well, if you want to be blunt…

R: Sorry.

M: It's okay.

R: So what happened?

M: We started arguing over Aaron's future. It was pretty pathetic.

R: Oh.

M: But then she said a lot of things, and I said a lot of things…

R: True things?

M: Yeah, true things, but mean things.

R: Can you give me an example?

M: Ugh…I told her she was ditzy…she told me I was dull.

R: So basically you had a big, humungous, screaming fight?

M: silence

R: You…you should call her.

M: No, Ruth, the damage has been done.

R: But Aaron…

M: If she wants to just take Aaron like that, I guess that's fine.

R: Don't you care about him?

M: Of course I care about him! But she's his mom, there's not much I can do.

R: Will she let you visit?

M: I really don't know, Ruth. But she's staying with her older sister…

R: Her older and more experienced sister, am I right?

M: Yeah, and here I am alone. I couldn't raise him anyway.

R: Plus she's his mom; he needs her at least in his early years.

M: As I mentioned before.

R: So you couldn't patch things up, you're positive?

M: I told her she was a ditz, remember? And that she was desperate…

R: Ouch.

M: And annoying, and obnoxious, and self-centered…

R: Triple ouch.

M: And duller than I am by far, and I told her I meant it all.

R: Quadruple ouch.

M: And then I stormed out and she followed me and told me she was leaving.

R: Is she there now?

M: No, she went to go stay with her parents and talk things through with them.

R: Maybe they'll convince her that she needs to stay in Glenoak.

M: Ruth, they hated me from the very beginning.

R: Aw…Martin…

M: Yeah, so it's looking pretty down for me.

R: Why don't you come on over?

M: Okay, I'll be right there. See you.

R: Bye.

And then I hung up. And then I cried because it's my fault. If I hadn't been wishing for them to break up every free second that I have, practically, things wouldn't be so terrible for them. Now poor Martin could very well be doomed to paying child support every month for his sweet little baby boy that he'll never see again. Okay, he'll probably see him again at some point, but you get what I mean.

I also blame Sandy. That girl is everything Martin told her she was. I just wonder what she would call Martin besides dull…she had to have made some stuff up because Martin is cute, caring, kind, sweet, thoughtful – how could you even SAY something bad about him?

Doorbell! I'll POSSIBLY write again tonight…underline possibly!

Ruthie Camden

Okay, this is the same day so I may as well just add on to what I've already written, right? Should I put a P.S. or something? Oh, well.

Martin did call Sandy. She told him that she was tired of his little outbursts and that he really hurt her. She also said that her parents would be more than willing to send her to Florida to live with her sister, who she claimed was more mature than he was. (I think she forgets that Martin IS only 19.)

It turned into another big screaming fight and Sandy hung up on him. Martin looked upset, but he said that things weren't working out between him and Sandy anyway. He said that they didn't have screaming fights very often, but that they actually did have a few in the past. He also said that he didn't really care much about her and that he only wanted to be there for Aaron, and that if she was going to take him away too, then he may as well just send child support and try to forget about it. But I could tell that he was far from forgetting about it.

My mom and dad and I talked to him for hours, but by the way he described the past few months, it sounds like it might have even been for the better that they're breaking up. Apparently Sandy's parents were pretty mean to Martin because they could sense that he didn't like Sandy too much.

It's just a bad situation. I feel so terrible for him. I wanted to be his girlfriend so badly, but now I just want him to be happy. I wish he could just take Aaron and never have to put up with Sandy again. But that's obviously not going to happen.

Sandy can be overly dramatic but I actually think she's serious this time. My dad whispered to Martin to calm down when he was yelling at Sandy (he called her back after she hung up) and Sandy screamed so loud that I could hear from across the room that Martin was just a twit and that the Camdens (us) were practically his brain and that without them he would be absolutely worthless. I wanted to reach through the phone and punch her.

I hate Sandy. I hate that Martin is angry. I hate that I jinxed them…okay, I don't believe in jinxes but you get my point. And I hate diaries. I HATE diaries…I hate them!

Ruthie Camden

(Should I really be signing this again? I wonder if there's a diary rulebook. Ha! Wouldn't that be hysterical? A diary rulebook! And it would only have one rule…throw your pitiful diary in the trash!)