May 6, 2006

Dear Journal,

Peter called this morning. You're probably expecting the dialogue from our conversation, right? Gosh, before you know it, I'll be able to look back on every phone conversation that I ever took part in.

R: Hi, Peter.

P: Caller ID?

R: What do you think?

P: So you still haven't removed me from your list?

R: Did you want me to?

P: No, but I figured after the way I treated you the other day…

R: This should be interesting. I'm waiting.

P: Fine, fine! I treated you pretty bad. And I'm sorry.

R: Apology accepted, but what about Frieda?

P: She cheated on me.

R: FRIEDA CHEATED ON YOU!

P: Don't laugh, it's not funny!

R: hysterical laughing

P: Ruthie!

R: choke

P: Are you going to stop, or do I need to hang up?

R: Okay, okay…ha, ha, ha…I'll…ha, ha…stop.

P: How is it that you find Frieda cheating on me amusing?

R: Because you got what you deserved, and also because Frieda's such a goody-goody.

P: I didn't think that she was the cheating type either.

R: So did you call so that you could magically become my friend again?

P: Pretty much.

R: Well, it's not going to be that easy.

P: Okay, Sergeant Ruthie.

R: Actually, I have to go.

P: You're just saying that.

R: No, I'm serious. I really have to go. But I'll call you later or tomorrow or something.

P: Whatever. Talk to you later.

R: Bye.

I really did have to go…because Martin was calling on the other line. May I entertain you with yet another conversation? I'm starting to remember things better now. I guess because I'm expected to right them down.

R: Hi, Martin.

M: Hey, Ruth.

R: How're you doing?

M: Better. I think I'm doing better.

R: That's great! Did you eat any breakfast?

M: I had another granola bar.

R: Are you still hungry?

M: I'm not forcing your mom to make another big meal again, Ruth.

R: So you ARE hungry. Well, we've got leftovers!

M: From last night?

R: No, from breakfast!

M: Do tell.

R: Bacon, eggs, toast, hash browns, and sliced oranges…is your mouth watering yet?

M: I'm swimming in my own drool.

R: Good, so I'll see you in five minutes?

M: Sure, I guess.

R: Okay. Bye, Martin.

M: Bye, Ruth.

So Martin came over and ate all of our leftovers. But at least he has an appetite. I'm starting to wonder if all he has at home are granola bars. I think I'll pick some stuff up for him the next time we go to the grocery store.

It's kind of sad…he lives all by himself. His aunt moved out as soon as he turned eighteen, saying that he was a mature young man now and that she had places to go and things to see. His father is still away, serving in the military or navy or something…I honestly can't remember. He comes home from his duties every now and then to check on Martin, but still…

Obviously we all wish that Martin could live here, but now that Simon's moved back in, there isn't a spare room in the house. Hopefully Simon and Cecilia will stop acting like such morons and get married sometime in the next fifty years, though.

This evening I heard them repeating the same conversation over and over again, as usual. Except this time, I got the privilege of hearing both sides of the conversation rather than just Simon's. What joy! I felt like stomping into the family room and shouting, "CECILIA, QUIT WORRYING ABOUT YOUR STUPID DRESS! IT'LL LOOK FINE! QUIT MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL! AND YOU BOTH ARE TOGETHER NON-STOP, YOU MAY AS WELL JUST GET MARRIED FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! AND SIMON, QUIT WORRYING ABOUT GROOMSMEN! JUST TAKE KEVIN, CARLOS, MATT, AND A FRIEND OR SOMETHING! IT DOESN'T MATTER! AND CECILIA, NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT HAVING TOO MANY BRIDESMAIDS BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF HEARING YOUR STUPID CONVERSATIONS THAT I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GO TO THE WEDDING, MUCH LESS BE IN IT! SO THERE! I WANT SILENCE – NOW!"

But then Cecilia would probably scrunch up her face like her feelings had been permanently hurt, and like she would be scarred for life. Then Simon would get angry and yell at me, even though I'm obviously not his kid. And then they both would leave the house and start questioning their relationship even more.

Cecilia would say, "Simon, I don't know if I can marry someone with a maniac sister."

Ugh…I'm so tired. I've got too many things to think about. Peter, Martin, Simon, Cecilia…it makes my head spin…which makes the spiders in my head get motion sick.

I'll write again tomorrow, hopefully. Wait, what did I just say? I'm not writing again tomorrow! You may think that you have me fooled, diary, but trust me, you have not! I WILL NOT write again tomorrow! I repeat: I WILL NOT! I've already written enough entries, you can just be happy with those! I am putting you away, understand?

I'm not even going to sign my name, just because I don't want to give you the satisfaction! So there!