Mulder sat in the passenger's seat munching on a brand new bag of sunflower seeds. It actually been awhile since he'd had them, he missed the little seeds that kept him occupied for so long.
Scully sat to the left of him, in the driver's seat. She watched him intently as he sat in his own little world, just munching on those damn sunflower seeds. He'd take about three or four in-between his finger tips, drop them in his mouth, then sequentially spit them out the open window.
Just by watching him perform the repeated act she found herself in a complete daze. It wasn't until she realized he had stopped munching and was staring right back at her that she smiled sheepishly and shook her head.
Mulder held out the half eaten bag, offering her some of his David sunflower seeds. She shook her head, "I haven't done any research on those things, but I'm sure there bad for your teeth, Mulder."
Mulder smiled widely as he popped a couple more in his mouth. Scully shook her head again, "I guess its better then cigs or acid."
Mulder looked over at her surprised, "'cigs or acid'? I've never heard you use such language Scully." Scully smiled then looked away with rosy cheeks.
Another long silence swept over the car and Scully leaned her head against the head rest. Mulder stopped his cracking and chewing, and did as she did.
"Mulder," Scully spoke so quietly she wasn't sure if he had heard her at all.
"Yeah?"
She rotated her head on the head rest and looked over at him, he followed and stared right back at her, "what is it, Scully?"
She took a long paused then looked away, "I'm bored."
Mulder continued to watch her, his head supported by the headrest comfortably, "well… we're two people, man and woman, in a car… in the dark…" Mulder smiled widly as Scully turned to him with her high brows high on her forehead.
"Excuse me?"
"Well, that's people do when their bored, so I've heard." Scully smiled and looked away again, she mumbled a few words to herself and Mulder's ears immediately perked up.
"What was that?" He asked sitting up in his chair. Scully turned toward him again. She leaned in closely to his lips, and breathing against him, she whispered, "none ya business!"
After she got back into her comfortable position Mulder let out a deep, but quiet, breath. She was a real teaser when she wanted to be.
Again, a long silence came over the car. Scully thought about turning on the radio, but she was open for discussion and she didn't want to turn him off. Mulder felt the same, plus there wasn't anything good on the radio at one in the morning anyway.
"Scully?" this time Mulder broke the silence.
"Hmm?" Scully groaned with closed eyes.
Mulder turned in his seat, shifting his body more towards hers. He took a minute with preparing his words then continued, "there's something about this case… I don't know what it is, but it- well it- it scares me."
Scully opened her eyes now, she didn't know he was serious. She sat up in her seat and faced him, "what about it scares you?"
Mulder took in a few deep breaths.
"You can tell me, you need to tell me," Scully assured him and placed her hand gently on the top of his hand.
"It reminds me of my situation."
"What's your situation?" Scully asked wanting to hear it in his words.
"Well this guy, Jacob Covey, he's on a search to find victims, to kill. And of course, I'm not looking for victims, but I'm on a search for my sister… and Jacob Covey, well he's single, he's alone, he has nothing except for his deceased wife… And I don't have a deceased wife, but I have a woman in my life that I depend on, that if she wasn't around, I would be completely alone, and I'd have nothing to live for… Me and Jacob Covey seemed to be one of the same man. Both on searches, both in love, and both lost."
Scully tightened her grip around Mulder's hand, "there's one major difference between Jacob and you… you're not lost. You have an agenda in mind. You know what you want, what you need, but he doesn't. He kills because he doesn't know. Because he's trying to find his reason."
"That's what makes us even more alike. He's looking for a reason to keep going. I'm looking for a reason to stop."
"What?" Scully asked quietly letting his hand go.
Mulder quickly took hold of her hand before she got away, "I have a reason to stop. To let it go. To give up. I have a reason to stop, to be with someone, to maybe even have a family. And the biggest similarity between me and Jacob is we both can't stop. We both can't give up. And we lose the people we love, because of that."
Scully stared at him for a long time, "what are you saying?"
Mulder let out a long deep breath, "What I'm saying is, I'm not going to hold it against you if your done. If you feel you need to get past the x-files, past me. That's ok, Dana. I don't see any reason that's keeping you here with me."
Scully's bottom lip fell, she was speechless for a few moments. She moved both her hands to wrap around his, "Mulder, I'm your partner, I'm not going anywhere. The reason for me to stay is you, and the only reason I'd leave, is if you left. I'm not going to let you go."
"Maybe its time, Scully. Maybe now would be the best time."
"Mulder, do you want me to leave?"
Mulder looked away and Scully's eyebrows lifted in pain and hurt.
"You want me to leave?" she asked, her voice choking up.
"Of course not. If it was solely up to me, we'd be together through everything, forever. But do you want to waste your life based on my actions? Based on the fact that I just want to find the truth, to find my sister?" Mulder asked desperately.
Scully took a few moments before she answered with a stern "yes."
And things went back to how they were before the conversation. Scully wasn't going any where, she wouldn't leave him. And Mulder, Mulder now had his reason back, he had his one and only reason to keep going, to pull through. He had felt the pain that Jacob Covey did, but he knew, from that day on he'd never feel it again; that was the biggest difference them.
