Chapter Fifteen

Dean closed his eyes and waited for his torment to begin. He hoped that somehow he could find the inner strength to fight this evil presence once it entered his mind. His only comfort was knowing Sam was protected and would be safe.

The fire burned so bright if was blinding him. The heat was sweltering and seared his flesh. The pain seemed to engulf everything with flaming torment. Mommy, Mommy, he cried out. Mommy, come down from the ceiling, come tuck me in. Mommy, I'm so scared. Mommy, please don't leave me, I'll be good, I won't ever be bad again. Mommy, please don't leave me, I'm so scared. Mommy, Mommy, please don't die.

The fire was following him down the stairs, hot on his back as he carried Sammy out of the house. It was overcoming him, it was consuming him, he could feel it burning his flesh, he screamed out in total agony. Mommy, Mommy, save me. Mommy, Mommy, I'm on fire, make the pain stop, make the pain stop. Mommy, save me.

He looked into his arms and saw baby Sammy was on fire. For an instant, Sammy's screams drowned out his own, until the full horror of the situation impacted on him. His brother's agony was the worst pain Dean could imagine. It was beyond his endurance, it was totally unbearable. He was powerless to save his brother as Sammy disintegrated to ash in his arms. His grief was consuming him like a fire, he wanted to die. He couldn't bear to go on without his brother. How could he live with this pain? He was his brother's protector and he had failed. Sammy was gone, extinguished before he had a chance to live.

Dean was alone. A black hole of loneliness beckoned him. An abyss so deep and dark that he could see no light, no hope. His deepest, darkest fear had been realized. The emptiness encompassed him until a lone voice called out to him from the deepest regions of his mind. You will always be alone. You deserve to be alone for all eternity. You have killed everyone you ever loved. Sammy and Mom are both dead because of you.

Dean had hoped the knowledge of what was to come would diminish his distress but it did not. The intense pain and agony was crushing him every time the nightmare restarted as his torment escalated until he thought he couldn't possibly bear any more, but somehow he did. The raw emotions Evil forced him to experience only drained his energy more. The torment continued for hours and he lost all sense of time yet he knew his dreams could go on forever.

The evil voice in his head was now fabricating nightmares for him. There was no basis in fact for these dreams and he had never before had them, they just played on his deepest fears and regrets. His dad appeared to him and he ran for the comfort of his support only to have him cast him aside and turn away.

"Dean, you disgust me. You let your brother die. I entrusted your brother to you and you failed him. You had the chance to save him and you didn't. Why am I burdened with this miserable excuse for a son? You are pathetic. The wrong son died. I wish you were dead, I despise you."

John's hurtful words cut like a dagger through his heart. Dean would rather face a demon that would burn him into oblivion than hear his dad say these words. All he ever wanted was his dad's acceptance and now he was being forced to endure the brute force of these horrific words. His soul twisted from the anguish these words imposed on him.

"Dad please forgive me. Dad don't leave me." Dean cried out in desperation to the darkness that was enveloping him. To feel such loneliness, to endure the last chance of another's touch and to have them turn and walk away left him totally debilitated. He pleaded with his father for redemption. His soul was barren, his hopes extinguished. He was an empty vessel being filled to the brim with despair and desolation. He was languishing in his torment.

Dad turned and stared at him, contempt and hatred burning in his eyes. Slowly he pulled out his gun and placed it beside his head. Dean cried out, pleading with his dad to stay with him but his dad only mocked him. "Why would I choose to stay with you? Death is preferable to being with you."

John stood with the gun beside his head and glared defiantly at his son for an interminable amount of time before he smiled a sick, twisted smile and pulled the trigger. Dean collapsed to the ground heaving in agony. His world was empty. He was completely, utterly alone. The black abyss of loneliness swallowed him up and he descended into hell. He prayed the flames would burn him to ash and end his misery but instead they just heightened his torment. He was in the midst of his greatest turmoil and the pain was all-consuming. He prayed that he would die, and then: Silence. Emptiness. Alone.

Dean slowly, painfully opened his tear-filled eyes. The evil force that was controlling his dreams and plunging him into despair had left. He was finally left totally alone. He felt weak, depleted, and barely capable of rising from the cot and staggering to the door. He leaned against the door and took several minutes to stop the trembling of his body and the racing of his heart. He concentrated on calming his fractured nerves and settling his surging unease.

He called out to see if Sammy was on the other side of the door but he got no answer. He so needed the comfort of knowing Sam was there, that he was not truly alone, yet he felt relief his brother had not been there listening to his torture. He was thankful that for once Sam had obeyed orders and kept the door locked.

He hoped Sam was resting, safe from danger, safe from this insane evil menace. He rubbed his eyes and tried to clear his parched throat. He should have anticipated this but he knew there were some provisions stored in this room. He went over and found some bottled water. He twisted off the top of a bottle and took a long drink. He poured the remainder of the water over his face in a half-hearted attempt to refresh himself.

He had no idea how long his respite would last but he intended to fully appreciate it. He hoped Evil would leave him alone long enough to regain some of his strength and fortify his mind for the next round.

Suddenly he heard the door unlocking. Relief flooded over him as he realized Dad must have come home early. He would have a plan to conquer this evil and together they could handle any situation. Sammy walked in and Dean felt such a release.

"Dad, I'm so glad you came home." Dean blurted out.

He waited but his dad didn't appear or answer back.

"Sammy, where's dad?"

"Dad's gone. Dad's always gone." Sam replied.

Panic gripped Dean as he studied his brother.

"Sam, why did you open the door? Sammy what's wrong with you?" The distant look in his brother's eyes scared him but a quick glance told Dean he still had the protection charm around his neck.

Then he heard that voice: cold, deliberate, sinister. The evil voice encompassed him with terror. Oh God, how could this be happening?