My Reborn Life with my Neighbor with Hot Monster Girls 11
Disclaimers I don't own KonoSuba or MonMusu please support any to all official releases.
Day 2 of Kazuma's interview started the same as yesterday, accept he decided to bring in his tracksuit since he figured they'd want him to run laps, or something like that.
"No joke, the fact you're sitting there in that tracksuit and me wearing this suit and driving this van makes me feel like I'm driving some big shot don across town" joked Zombina.
"Don't ever ask me about my business Zombina" said Kazuma doing his best impression of Don Vito, getting a good laugh out of Zombina.
"Ha, got to say, having you around the office will make my work day feel better" said Zombina, "Speaking of what are they gonna have me do today" asked Kazuma.
"You're gonna have to run through 3 different set of obstacles, take a basic optometry test, urine and blood test, oh and get comfortable to the idea of a doctor giving you the rubber glove and Vaseline treatment" said Zombina.
"I don't consent to having a cavity search" answered Kazuma before they both shared another laugh.
"So what's new with you, how's everyone back at home" asked Zombina, "Megumin starts her first shift later on the day, Darkness had already went to work before you picked me up, and I'm expecting Aqua to come home later on tonight" said Kazuma.
"So everyone at home has work, that's nice" said Zombina, "Yeah, which honestly eases some stress for me" said Kazuma as Zombina could figure trying to keep all those mouths to feed and bills to pay not to be easy.
"What about your homestays" asked Zombina to get the conversation going, "Well Killa seems to mellow out a little, though every now and again I have to get involve and stop her from doing something that'll get her deported" said Kazuma.
"Heh, good thing you decided to apply for this job now, huh" said Zombina, "Right, Leechi is as flirtatious and blood thirsty as always, and this is in spite of us having blood bags at the house now" said Kazuma.
"Well, so long as she's not literally sucking you dry to the point of near death, it's fine right" said Zombina as she could only imagine how living with not only Leechi but 2 other blood drinkers could be stressful.
"She's not, and is in fact kind enough to make me a meal right afterwards" admitted Kazuma.
"Aw, ain't she the perfect girlfriend" said Zombina teasingly as Kazuma couldn't deny Leechi was actually girlfriend material as he smiled with a light blush on his face.
"Moving on, Moskii has enough self-control and actually prefers to suck the nectar out of fruits more than my blood, though she'll do it once in a while as well, otherwise she's just someone whom I can depend on not only to hang out, but give me a hand when the situation calls for it" said Kazuma.
"Ara-ara, sounds to me that you have a friend with benefits as well, lucky dog" said Zombina, "What can I say, I am the luckiest man alive" said Kazuma as he began to think of the next girl he thinks about.
"Yatsume for the most part likes to go next door and chats with Mero, so we don't really hang out as often, and when we do it's so she can take a taste of my blood, which sucks, but it's thanks to her that I'm finally able to cook the perfect lobster bisque along with learning to cook new sea food related food" said Kazuma.
"Dude, that sounds great and all, but please don't let Smith know about that, cause she'll be demanding a lobster and crab dinner for like the rest of your life" said Zombina.
"Tell me about it, last time I decided to cook a nice home cook meal for everyone, she barges in, makes herself at home and decides that she won't leave till she got her fill" said Kazuma.
"I'll tell you what, I'll keep my mouth shut about this, but in return you got to make me that perfect lobster bisque when the next opportunity comes, and to show a good sign of faith that this isn't a hustle, I'll bring in whatever else you need to make that meal perfect" said Zombina.
"Deal" said Kazuma as they shook on it before stopping at a red light.
"So how's my little buddy doing" asked Zombina, "You mean Yuuhi? She's doing great, she spends her day watching TV when she's not doing her home school work, gets me to take her to the park, read her a bed time story every night before bed, and when she's not with me, she spends her time with Aqua, either dong each other's hair, making her lunch, and giving her a bath" said Kazuma just as the light turned green.
Throughout that whole short list of things that's been going on with the young undead girls life, Zombina was left silent and thought for a second that Kazuma must be married or something if he does things what a parent does with his friend with blue hair.
"Uh, say Kazuma, are you married or something" asked Zombina as she was honestly confused over the duo's relationship.
"No, why you say that" asked Kazuma as he was confused as to why Zombina would ask such a question before the realization hit him.
"Hold on now, I know what you're thinking, but Aqua and I aren't married, hell we're not even dating" said Kazuma, "Really, cause it sounds to me that you 2 work like the perfect married couple with children, and to be honest, Yuuhi even voiced out her thoughts of wanting you guys to get married someday and have kids of your own" said Zombina.
"Wait Yuuhi said that" asked Kazuma, "Yeah, she said that after I took her hands off you from that one time remember" said Zombina as Kazuma began to grimace.
"Look, me and Aqua have history together, but that's it, if anything I view her like an annoying sister who bothers me for money, and only comes to me when she's in trouble" said Kazuma.
"Hey, I'm just saying that you guys act like a married couple in front of Yuuhi, and you know what, it's a good thing you 2 are, because that little girl felt heart broken when her parents decided to dump her on us without so much as batting an eye, and it still pisses me off to this day" said Zombina as she gripped on the wheel even tighter.
Kazuma was somewhat aware of this, but didn't imagine Yuuhi had it that rough like him, and honestly felt bad for her and felt upset that there are parents out there who are just as cruel as his.
"Look, whatever your relationship with Aqua is, that's your business, but I want you to at least hear me say thank you for giving Yuuhi that kindness and happiness she needs in life" said Zombina.
"Hey, I absolutely love and adore that damn kid, so there's no need to thank me" said Kazuma with a smile to which Zombina returned before they arrived back at the same government building as yesterday.
"Ready for day 2" asked Zombina, "Yeah, let's go" said Kazuma as they both went and entered inside the building, where Kazuma was pointed towards the locker room and changed into his tracksuit as did everyone else or in some sort of other athletic wear.
"Alright men and liminials, today will be your physical endurance test, and because of how we now have a larger selection of liminial volunteers, we're more than accommodating along with adding new twists, now let's begin" said the drill instructor.
"For starters, we're gonna do a quick standard physical exam, conducted by professional physicians, after which we're gonna move onto the shooting range, followed by learning and conducting basic hand to hand, which will be the final course for a lot of you, but for some, we have something extra afterwards" said the drill instructor before everyone went and got themselves checked.
While the physical exam itself was nothing different from what he had back in school, though the difference was that the doctors asked if he had any previous injuries or allergies that may hinder him on the field, which unless Kazuma wants to list the multiple ways he died, he was pretty much fit as a fiddle.
As for the shooting range, even his luck proved to be useful as he and only 2 other people managed to get perfect scores, with one of them joking saying that they should have marksmanship contest between them in the near future.
Still they were kind enough to give Kazuma and the others a break before they did the final exam, and was surprise to see a pair of familiar faces when he was getting himself a root beer.
"Hey young blood" called Zombina as she was accompanied by Manako, "Hey, what's up" said Kazuma.
"We heard that you were in the top 3 in marksmanship, and well I wanted to have Manako here meet her potential new spotter and rival" said Zombina.
"Please don't say that we're rivals, we're suppose to be on the same team" said a panic Manako, "I just got lucky that's all" said Kazuma as he didn't want to share all his skills and secrets yet.
"Well whatever you call it, we just came down here and wanted to wish you luck, and just a heads up, incase the drill instructor hadn't said anything yet, you along with most of the liminials here are to be given additional training, so be ready" said Zombina.
"Yeah, I figured as much" said Kazuma before looking at the clock to see that it was time for him to go the next event.
"Well, I'm off, wish me luck" said Kazuma as he finished his drink waved his future team goodbye, as he readied for the hand to hand combat course.
Kazuma was admittingly not the type to want to play fair in a fair fight, but he was going to give everyone the benefit of the doubt in order to give a good impression, even if it meant his chances of seeing the ground was high.
For his first opponent, he went up with a guy who was trained in Capoeira, and Kazuma was unsure how to approach the guy since it looked like he was dancing half the time.
So it came to no surprise when Kazuma came running in with a punch, the guy side stepped and swept him onto the ground managed to roll on top of Kazuma with his knee inches away from his face.
His second opponent wasn't better as it was a woman who was 3rd Dan in Taekwondo, and even though Kazuma knew he was expecting to be sent in a world of hurt, even when he tried to stay prone with his guard up, she still knocked his ass into the ground.
Finally because Kazuma was depicted as a special case he was assigned to face off against a liminial woman, more so one who was clearly a mantis, and even though he felt he still had a good chance to redeem himself, he knew better, since the moment he tried to perform a wide kick, she grabbed his leg midair and gave him the Johnny Cage treatment.
Even in spite of his humiliating defeat, Kazuma still passed though he was now required to come into work once a week and learn basic self-defense.
After this every human, and human like liminial was dismissed for the day, while Kazuma and to the surprise of many of the liminials present, stayed behind.
While everyone was tasked to do anything from flying, wall running, and even feats of impressive strength, Kazuma was pulled aside to show off his abilities, and witnessing him was his future co-workers, and his boss Mr. Black.
"Alright Kazuma, I hope you're ready to show us what you can do, cause you were highly recommended by Smith here, which is a rare thing since she hardly puts in the paperwork for recommendations less it's something important or really stupid" said Mr. Black as Ms. Smith began to pout over the las comment.
"Now, we have everything set up for you to do anything and everything you can do, now let's begin" said Mr. Black as Kazuma began to show some basic magic he learned during his days as an adventurer.
He showed off his iconic Tinder, create water, create earth, wind breath, and freeze which got not only his boss but the attention of the surrounding liminials as well.
"Impressive" said Mr. Black, "That's nothing, tinder/wind breath" said Kazuma as he flexed over his unorthodox methods of combining his weaker magical skills into something more potent.
"He's crafty and knows how to improvise" commented Mr. Black to Ms. Smith, "Told you he was a good candidate" said Ms. Smith with a smirk before they notice Kazuma was waving at them.
"Yes Mr. Satou" said Mr. Black, "Yeah, you guys got like handcuffs, or rope so I can show you what else I know" said Kazuma as Mr. Black nodded for Ms. Smith to provide what he's asking for.
Once fully handcuffed, and with the key kept out of reach, Kazuma used the Escape skill before he handed the cuffs back to Ms. Smith.
"Any tamperment with the handcuffs" asked Mr. Black as Ms. Smith examined the restraints closely and saw that there was no sign of damage what so ever.
"No, none what so ever" said Ms. Smith as she was getting more impressed by the minute.
"What else can you do" asked Ms. Smith, "Well I do need a volunteer from someone, specifically someone who has large amounts of vitality" said Kazuma as he was a bit reluctant to show off this skill.
"Zombina, you think you're up to the challenge" asked Ms. Smith, "Hell yeah, anything to help the young blood here" said Zombina as she came ever and was psyched to help out Kazuma before he grabbed her hand began to sap her of her energy.
"This right here is my drain touch ability, normally good in sapping away someone of their energy and leaving them fatigue" said Kazuma as Zombina fell to her knee's before Kazuma let go of her.
"Ugh, my head is pounding now" groaned Zombina as she was gripping her head, "Sorry Zombina, but hey way to be a team player" said Ms. Smith as she and Kazuma helped her back on her feet.
"Is there anything else you can show us, Mr. Satou" asked Mr. Black as he was visibly impressed with Kazuma so far, "Yeah, I got one more skill called Steal, which allows me to steal anything from anyone at a distance" said Kazuma as his boss raised a curious eye brow.
"Show me please, in fact, will you demonstrate it on us from right here" said Mr. Black as he was referring to himself, Ms. Smith and the MON Squad.
"Alright, you're the boss, Steal!" exclaimed Kazuma as he was able to get a lot of interesting things to say the least.
He got his bosses sunglasses, Ms. Smith and Manako's panties, Tio's bra, and finally Zombina's left boob.
"Uh…" said Kazuma as he couldn't help but squeeze Zombina's boob in his hand as his future team looked at him with mortifying eyes as his boss did his best to not only hide his blush, but also how amusing the situation had turned out.
"Hey Kazuma, at least take me out on a date before moving to second base now" exclaimed Zombina as she felt embarrassed over having her bare tit exposed to everyone at work like that.
"Kazuma… how could you" whimpered Manako as she was literally on the verge of crying right now out of the sheer embarrassment, "Gee Kazuma, you're such a pervert" said Tio.
"NEET, this is gonna cost you dearly, I hope you know this" said Ms. Smith as she gave Kazuma a dead serious look, "Heh, this is why I choose to walk around naked" said Doppel nonchalantly as she found this to be the best day of her life so far.
Yup, Kazuma did it, he beat his own personal record of coming off as a pervert in the work force in a matter of 2 days, as evident of how many of liminial woman were calling his a perverted scumbag and calling him Scumzuma and Kazutrash.
Well there goes my work social life, thought Kazuma as he felt frustrated to the point that he himself wanted to cry.
KONOSUBA
After returning back the girls personal belongings, Kazuma was moved into a small interrogation room as his boss and superiors talked over not only what to do with Kazuma, but basically his act of sexual assault as well for all he knows.
If anything bad happens, all I need to do as wait for the perfect opportunity to break out, and hop on the next plane to Las Vegas and live my life as a high roller on one of the strips, thought Kazuma as he already had planned to change his name and cut his hair if they were going to throw the book at him.
He's been waiting in this room for at least a good 3 hours now, and honestly was waiting to talk to someone to just transfer him into a prison cell so he could at least lay down and take a nap, or something since he's both suffering from anticipation and boredom.
Eventually his train of thoughts broke when Doppel came in the room carrying some take out.
"Hey Mr. Pervert, how you're doing" greeted Doppel with a cheeky smile as Kazuma choked over the new nickname he received today.
"Please tell me that's not what people are saying about me" cried Kazuma, "Word has already spread around the work place, and let me just say some of the higher up woman want to imprison you" said Doppel as Kazuma looked like he was having a panic attack.
"JK, no idea what the higher ups are saying, all I know is that they said was to give you something to eat and provide you with something to entertain yourself with" said Doppel as she began to lay out bowl of ramen for Kazuma along with a sudoku puzzle book.
"Thanks" said Kazuma as he got enjoy eating a nice hot bowl of noodles as Doppel sat across from him.
"So how are the girls doing" asked Kazuma as he knew his reputation with his team was destroyed, "Well Tio is upset, but is willing to forgive, Manako hasn't left from her desk as she feels totally embarrassed, Zombina forgives you so long as you commit to provide and make us all a nice lobster and steak dinner, and Ms. Smith has a stack of paperwork ready for you once you're free" said Doppel as Kazuma had lost his appetite over how upset they were.
"Sigh, maybe I should consider looking for work somewhere else" said Kazuma, "Hey don't feel so bad Kazuma, the girls will forgive you soon enough, just give them enough time" said Doppel before she made her way out.
"Hang tight, this shouldn't take that much longer now" said Doppel as she left Kazuma alone to eat, before waiting another 2 hours before he was finally called out.
Expecting to stand trial as if he was prosecuted by the inquisition, Kazuma was instead lead by Doppel to meet her and the others outside.
"So… am I in the clear" asked Kazuma as he wasn't sure what was going on with us, "If you mean with us, you can forget it unless you plan to serve us all a fancy dinner for the rest of the week" said Ms. Smith as Kazuma felt her words hit him like an arrow to the heart.
"As for with work, the higher ups are saying that until they can discuss the legality and hopes in finding a middle ground to allow you to do your thing and abilities, they actually want you to avoid field work, and so starting tomorrow I've got a nice stack of unfinished paperwork for you to complete" said Ms. Smith as Kazuma gulped in terror.
"Seriously is there anyway I can make this up to you guys" pleaded Kazuma as he seriously doesn't want to work in a work environment where he has no one to turn to or trust.
"Unless you got tickets for the 5 of us to enjoy a luxury vacation either in the Caribbean or Fiji, expect no mercy from me" said Ms. Smith as all the girls seem to nod in agreement.
True Kazuma can't afford a fancy vacation on a tropical island, much less another fancy dinner at home, but there is something Kazuma can provide that he's been saving up.
"How about a trip to Hawaii" asked Kazuma as the girls interest were indeed peaked, "What you got tickets to Hawaii stored away somewhere" asked Zombina.
"As a matter of fact I do, I got them after winning a lotto at a local shopping plaza, but I'm willing to part with them if you are willing to forgive me" said Kazuma as the girls looked at each other with a smile before nodding in agreement.
"Zombina, please drop the NEET off back at home, and be sure he hands you those tickets before you leave, cause mama has some vacation days to redeem and bikini shopping to buy" said Ms. Smith as the girls of MON Squad gave a cheer.
"You heard her young blood let's go home" said Zombina as she grabbed Kazuma and began to push him back into the van, leaving the newly hired government agent with a feeling of relief after the eventful day he had.
Once home, Kazuma rushed in and handed the tickets to Zombina before she drove off like a bat out of hell as Kazuma was left to go back in and greet everyone properly.
"So how was work today" asked Darkness as she was eating herself of instant cup of noodles, "Not bad, not bad at all" said Kazuma as he chose to sit in between Curie and Yatsume as they were a live action movie based on a popular American cartoon of a boy who has this awesome watch that lets him turn into a different type of alien.
"So what do they have planned for you now handsome" asked Yatsume, "If what Ms. Smith said is true, nothing but paperwork since they got to discuss my legality use of my abilities with the hire ups" sighed Kazuma.
"At least you don't have to do anything dangerous for a while then" said Curie, "That is true, and you know what if Ms. Smith and the girls plan to leave and do their thing in Hawaii, that means I'm free to work at my own pace and play either TF2 or Overwatch in my break time" said Kazuma.
"Wait why would they be going to Hawaii" asked Megumin, "They told me they had planned to go there for vacation long before I was hired" lied Kazuma as he didn't want them to know he literally had those tickets lying around, because they'll get mad, in spite of their numbers exceeding over the number of tickets he had.
"What about you Megumin, how was work" asked Kazuma, "It was alright, the boss asked me if I was interested in joining him with some of his friends for a LARPing event" said Megumin.
"And what did you say" asked Kazuma as he was genuinely curious to know, "I said sure, it sounded like fun since his buddy is a level 12 thief name feldspar and has a boyfriend who's a level 8 ranger" said Megumin.
"Megumin you do know what LARPing is right" asked Leechi as she was drinking from an actual blood bag, "No idea, though it means I can finally join a party of awesome adventurers again, even though said such things don't exist in this world" said Megumin.
Before Leechi wanted to explain what LARPing is, she looked at Kazuma who shook his head no as he figured this was a learning experience better taught first handed.
"You know what, you have fun" said Leechi as she managed to hop over and sit on Kazuma's lap.
"Now, time for my favorite snack of the day" said Leechi as she licked her lips and bit into Kazuma's shoulder, "The pain" exclaimed Kazuma as he should have guest this would happen once again, sooner or later.
There we go guys, another chapter done and posted to your guys' liking, once again thank you all for your support, cause really I was not expecting so much positive response from you guys in terms of wanting to see Yunyun or Wiz, but hey if that's what you guys want, so be it.
Granted it's not gonna happen immediately, but for the most part it seems like they're most likely are planned to come, so stay tuned for that.
Until then guys, be safe, be good people, and please support your local fandom communities.
This has been your Humble Narrator and official author Tobi Yaza. =3