Meredith was worried. It had been more than two weeks since the incident with the Wolfsbane potion and there had been no word
from Remus. Every morning she would go down to breakfast only to be disappointed when Andromeda and Ted informed her there
was no word from Remus. She was so worried about him.
"I'm sure everything is all right, poppet," Andromeda tried to reassure her as she sadly stirred her porridge.
"Absolutely," Ted said. "You'll hear from him anyday now, I'm sure of it." Meredith knew they were trying to sound convincing but they
were failing miserably. After breakfast she went up to her room to read and try to take her mind off of Remus. All of her things had been
sent over from the house. But this would never feel like her home. After reading the same sentence five times she flung the book away.
She curled up on the bed with her knees under her chin. What if something was wrong with Remus? What if the potion she had shot him
with was too strong and he would never wake up. What if whatever was wrong with the Wolfsbane had hurt him somehow? Why
wouldn't they tell her? She didn't know how she would be able to handle it if something had happened to Remus. As wonderful as
Andromeda and Ted were they could never take Remus's place in her heart. Remus was the first person to ever show her kindness. The
first person to make her feel loved. He never said he loved her. He'd never spoken the words, but she knew just the same. It was the
way he talked to her so kindly, and held her when she had a bad dream. She just knew. She'd never felt like that before Remus had
come into her life. At the orphanage no one ever spoke kindly to her, or held her, or made her feel like she was anything but a freak.
She'd seen so many kids get adopted by nice people and she would envy them so much because she knew that they were going to a
place where they would be loved. She didn't think that that would ever happen to her. But then Remus had come to get her. If she lost
him now she didn't know if she could ever be happy again. She jumped up as she heard a light tapping on her window. It was Aden,
Remus's owl. She rushed to the window and threw it open . She quickly untied the letter and tore it open.
Dear Meredith,
I am writing to tell you that I can no longer be your guardian. You are to stay with the Tonkes until other arrangements can be made. Please do not write to me or try to contact me again
Sincerely Remus
The letter fell from her hands as scalding hot tears fell from her eyes.
"This can't continue," Ted said to his wife as they cleaned up the kitchen.
"What do you want me to do about it Ted?" Andromeda said waving her wand at the sink and making the dishes start scrubbing
themselves. It had been two months since Remus had sent Meredith the letter. There'd been no word from him since. They thought at
the very least he would floo to see how she was doing, but there had been nothing. Meredith had been moping around the house looking
like she'd just lost her best friend. They'd tried everything to try and cheer her up, but nothing was getting through to her. Ted was
furious at Remus for doing this to Meredith. Andromeda had thus far been trying to keep her husband from marching right over to
Remus's house and beating the werewolf to a bloody pulp, but today on Meredith's birthday, when he'd not even sent a present or
anything Andromeda was at the end of her tolerance. Meredith had been devastated. They tried to make the day special. A big cake,
lots of presents, but Meredith wasn't interested.
"Not even on her birthday," Ted snapped waving his wand and sending the silverware into the drawer.
"If you think I'm not just as pissed as you are, then you don't know me that well Theodore Aloysius Tonks!" Andromeda snapped
plunking down in a chair and massaging her throbbing temples. Ted sighed and put his hands on her shoulders.
"What are we going to do, Teddy?" Andromeda said. "I know he still loves her. I just know it"
"Well I don't know about you, but the first thing in the morning I'm gonna hunt him down and beat some sense into him"
"Give him one for me," Andromeda said. Ted raised an eyebrow.
"You're not going to try and stop me"
"The git missed her birthday!"
Ted set out at the crack of dawn. He'd gotten very little sleep last night. He kept thinking about the devastated look in Meredith's eyes
when Remus hadn't come to her birthday party. The child was in pain. He'd seen it everyday for the last two months. She wasn't eating,
she barely slept. He and Andromeda and Dora had been doing everything they knew how to do to cheer her up. But the simple fact
was that Meredith needed Remus. He pushed open the door without knocking.
"Remus!" he yelled. THere was no answer. Ted moved through the house yelling the man's name. He was a little disturbed by the state
of the house. Remus had obviously not spent the last two months cleaning. There was at least two inches of dust on every surface. The
flowers in the pots were dying and the furniture that had been broken and glass that had been shattered the night the wolfsbane went
wrong, had yet to be repaired. Ted searched the lower level of the house and found no sign of the man. Upstairs he found that Remus's
bed had not been slept in. It was in Meredith's room that he found the man. The once cheerful child's room now resembled a dark cell.
In the middle of the room sat Remus surrounded by a more than a dozen empty bottles of firewhiskey. All thoughts of pummeling the
man left his mind as he took in the younger man. There were dark circles under his eyes and at least a three day growth on his chin. He
was thinner than usual and his eyes looked glassed over. Ted sighed. It was obvious to him that Meredith was not the only one suffering.
"Do they know what went wrong?" Ted asked once he had sobered Remus up a bit and gotten a square meal in him.
"There was a problem with the mixture," Remus said. Shoveling another spoonful of stew into his mouth.
"But they've got it right now?"
"Took it last month, no problems." They sat in silence for a bit. Finally realizing that Remus was not going to broach the subject Ted set
down his cup.
"Meredith misses you," he said. He saw Remus stiffen but he had seen the look in the younger man's eye and knew he was not wrong.
"Yes, well." Remus said. "It's all for the best isn't it"
"Oh bollocks, Remus." Ted said. "I know you are just as miserable as she is." Remus sighed.
"Merlin Ted," he said putting his head in his hands. "I could have killed her"
"But you didn't"
"I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking letting that child live with me"
"He was thinking that Meredith needed someone who would love her and teach her to be a good person and a good witch. He was
thinking that that person was you"
"Well, he was wrong"
"Was he?"
"For Merlin's sake Ted. I put her life in danger. She'll never be safe as long as she's with me"
"She is miserable without you Remus. You don't see it. I do. She won't eat, doesn't sleep. She needs you Remus. You. And you need
her"
"I can't take the risk"
"Oh bloody hell Remus. This has nothing to do with what happened. The problem is that you're scared. You love that child and that
scares the hell out of you. You're scared to let anyone get close to you because everyone you've ever cared about has hurt you. James,
Lily, Peter, Sirius, Angela. They've died, they betrayed you, and you're scared to let anyone get close to you because you're scared of
getting hurt again"
"She could have been killed"
"But she wasn't." Remus sighed. "Look Remus. Just go and see her. She doesn't even need to know you're there. If you can take one
look at her and tell me that she's better off without you, I won't say another word on the subject."
Remus was determined that he was doing the right thing and he would not be swayed. No matter what, he would not break. He
couldn't. Meredith was better off without him, and he had to keep telling himself that. He couldn't let his resolve break. He sucked in his
breath as he entered the Tonks house. He could smell Meredith's scent and it nearly brought tears to his eyes. Andromeda gave him a
stormy look but he did not let it shake him.
"Where's Meredith?" Ted asked his wife. Andromeda did not speak but pointed up the stairs. Ted gave Remus a shove and he forced
himself to climb the steps. He followed the scent to a door. Beyond the door he could hear two young voices. As quietly as he could he
pushed open the door. Dora sat on the bed with her back to the door. He could hear Meredith's voice but Dora was blocking her from sight.
"Come on, Meredith," Dora was saying. "Come on outside, it a beautiful day. The sun will do you good"
"No thank you," he heard Meredith's voice say. Remus felt a twinge in his heart. She sounded so small. Dora shifted on the bed and
Remus gasped as he saw Meredith. Her skin was pale and sick looking, her eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles under them. She
had lost weight and her expression was of someone who simply didn't care about anything anymore. Remus felt his resolve crumbling.
Before he knew it he was striding into the room holding his arms out to the little girl.
"Remus!" Meredith cried leaping into his arms wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Remus hugged her
tightly and kissed her hair. Dora grinned and quietly left the room. He set her down on the bed and knelt in front of her. She was smiling
and there were tears in her eyes. Remus had to blink back tears from his own eyes as he cupped her face in his hands.
"I missed you," he said.
"I missed you," she said. Her smile faded a little.
"Am I coming home with you, or are you just here for a visit or something?" Remus sighed.
"Oh Meredith," he said. "Im so sorry I left you. I just got scared. I was so afraid that I could have hurt you that night. I thought it would
be better if I pushed you away, but Merlin, I couldn't live without you. I want you to come home with me"
"Really?" Meredith said.
"Yes," he said. Meredith grinned and threw her arms around him again. He knew now that he'd never be able to let her go. No matter
what the danger, no matter what the risk, she was part of him.
"I love you Meredith," he said.
"I love you Daddy," Meredith whispered.