Chapter 11

Later they lay together in each others arms, their passion sated. An intimate silence passed between them where the only sounds were the beating of their hearts and their breathing. Kyp finally unwillingly broke the magic by softly saying, "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to move in with me. At least not right away."

Jaina propped herself up on his chest by putting her chin on her folded hands. She looked into his eyes and replied, "I know. But I can't go back to the apartment I shared with Zekk. I'll need to have it cleaned and get out of the lease—" she let her voice trail off.

"Jaina, it isn't because I don't want you here. Kriff, I'd marry you now if we could. But, I think you should spend some time with your family, especially your parents."

She frowned and turned her head away from him. Kyp shifted causing her to sit up, pulling the sheet around her. He sat up beside her and lifted her face by gently cupping her face in his hands. But she kept her eyes downward.

"Goddess, they love you." He had to bend his head and look up into her sad eyes.

"How could they still love me, Kyp? I'm such a disappointment to them," she quietly said.

Kyp straightened, "Jaina, honey, look at me," his tone was gentle but commanding. She could only obey. Only once their eyes met did Kyp go on, "I know that they love you and that they are concerned about you. Your father and mother both have contacted me to find out how you've been doing. They don't blame you for what happened, nor are they disappointed. Jaina, you were tricked. You were under the control of something that could have taken any of us."

"But it didn't, Kyp. I wasn't strong enough to resist and because of me, Zekk, Jacen and the others a war happened. A war in which many Chiss and Alliance personnel lost their lives. A war in which Jag and Lowie were almost killed and Alema was killed. A war that may have done something terrible to Ben and—" her voice broke and she sobbed.

He pulled her into his arms and held her. The guilt Jaina felt wasn't anything new to Kyp. He had been helping her with it since she came back. Well, he was helping her and Zekk when the younger man would let him. After a few moments he held her away and she looked up at him, her tears silently falling. He cupped her face and wiped the tears away.

"Jaya, you need to come to terms with this just as you did with the betrayal you felt over Jacen. No one blames you and you shouldn't blame yourself. Yes, several people lost their lives. But that war would have happened regardless of your participation. Rayner Thul, Welk and Lomi Plo tricked the Killiks into thinking they could beat the Chiss if Jedi joined the Hive mind. Thul used his knowledge of you and the bond you had shared at Myrkr to convince you that you were doing the right thing."

He paused to let his words hit home then continued. "As hard as it is to think otherwise, you must trust the Force, Jaina. That mess happened for a reason. Yes, Jedi were killed as were others but Welk and Lomi Plo were defeated which was good. She was beyond help. She had become more bug than human. And because the Alliance and the Jedi came to the aid of the Chiss they have officially joined the GFFA."

"I know all this, Kyp, but I should have been strong enough to resist—"

He placed a finger over her lips to stop the flow of words. "The Killiks still would have attacked the Chiss. And possibly more Chiss would have been lost because they would never have allowed the GA or the Jedi to help them fight." He smiled, "Jacen would never have turned to Tenel Ka for her fleet to help the Killiks and they wouldn't have had their daughter and now be married. Not to mention Jag Fel wouldn't have been named for promotion to a fleet admiral after his show of bravery which gave him enough leverage to marry Shawnkyr despite him being a human."

She could only stare at him; his logic did make some sense. "But Jacen turned to the Dark Side, according to you, when he nearly killed Tenel Ka's grandmother and attacked the nobles who were trying to assassinate Tenel Ka and Allana."

"True, but Tenel Ka's love brought him back and now he is her Prince Consort." Kyp couldn't keep the lopsided grin from sneaking onto his features as he added, "And they wouldn't be expecting their second child."

He watched as Jaina's expression changed to surprise as the meaning of his words sank in. Then he added, the grin turning into a smile, "Your mother told me that the other day when she caught me after our sparring match."

"My mother was civil to you?" Jaina seemed more surprised by that than the fact she was going to be an aunt again.

Kyp could only chuckle, "Yes, Goddess. Apparently, she knew you were there at the Temple and wanted to know if I'd seen you. She said that you hadn't spoken to them for over three weeks and that you were avoiding her calls again. She worries about you."

"What did you tell her?"

"That I'd seen you and that you were alright."

Another silence stretched between them and Jania settled against him again. Finally, she said, "Okay, I'll talk to them tomorrow. We need to tell them about us anyway."

Kyp couldn't help the sudden tension at the mention of admitting their relationship to the Solos. He wondered what they would say about Jaina's change of heart.

Jaina grinned and looked up at him, "Don't worry. What did you just tell me?— 'trust the Force'?"

Kyp rolled his eyes and chuckled, "I knew those words were going to come back to haunt me. I was referring to your situation, not for me when I'm staring down your mother's lightsaber or your father's blaster."

Jaina laughed and patted him on the chest. He was glad her mood had lightened. "Come on now, I don't think Mom is that good with her lightsaber and surely Dad wouldn't shot his friend. And you do want to marry me that should account for something."

"Uh-huh," Kyp didn't sound convinced but he really wasn't that concerned either. The Solos both seemed to encourage his friendship with Jaina and if Luke was able to figure out his true feelings for Jaina surely Han and possibly Leia had been able to also. After another moment of peaceful silence he said, "Come, let's get some sleep." He shifted so that he was laying flat again with Jaina wrapped in his arms, her head resting on his chest. The last words he said were whispered into her hair, "I love you, Goddess. I always have and I always will."

X

Jaina awoke before Kyp the next morning. She was snuggled up against him with her head resting on his shoulder and she was still wrapped in his arms. She never felt so loved and protected before. Neither had Jag, the few times she spent the night with him, or Zekk ever hold her like Kyp did.

She shifted to enable her to see his face and smiled contentedly. She admired Kyp's strong, handsome face as he slept. He looked younger in his slumber. The tiny lines that time and a hard life had etched around his eyes and mouth were smoothed. His full lips were slightly curved in a smile as if responding to a pleasant dream and she idly wondered if he was dreaming of her.

A lock of his dark hair fell over his brow almost giving him a boyish look. Kyp had always been a handsome man but age suited him. Jaina felt that he got better looking with each passing year. She gently pushed the wayward lock back and let her fingers linger softly on his hair. He began to show sliver in it during his latter twenties but she didn't mind because it added to his roguish good looks. However, she did wonder if his hard life of near starvation and deprivation in the Kessel mines helped steal away his outward appearance of youth just as it had his innocence.

She knew only sketches from his sixteen years of life prior to coming into hers when she was only two. Then the terror of the weeks that occurred while he was under the control of Exar Kun. She thought about what he had said about his mother the previous night. She suddenly was curious about what his family had been like. He must have loved them dearly to have that much hate in him for the Empire that ultimately allowed Kun to have so much control over him.

She found herself thinking of her own family. She loved them but she still felt fear about facing them. But Kyp was right, she needed to move on. She had left Zekk to move on and now was the time to get past her feelings concerning her family. It seemed odd to her to have it pointed out that her family would love her no matter what by Kyp. Maybe it took someone without one to love them despite their mistakes and to forgive those mistakes to help her realize she shouldn't shut her family out of her life.

She moved her hand from his hair to his cheek and brushed a feather light touch with the back of her fingers. She felt the new growth of his beard as it tickled her knuckles. She smiled; he really did look the part of a scoundrel in the morning. She lightly chuckled as she thought about her father and how he looked in the morning before he would shave; her mother had always called him her scoundrel. Well, Kyp was her rogue. She truly was her mother's daughter.

His eyes fluttered and he grinned. Before opening his eyes he said, "Mmm— this is much, much more like how I want to be awakened in the morning." He looked at her, his green eyes full of love.

"Good morning, handsome." She shifted so that she could straddle him. She smiled and bent down; showering him with her hair as she met his lips. He held her tighter and his hands caressed her back. As the kiss deepened she slid her hands around his neck and entwined her hands into his hair. She moaned when the need for air finally forced them apart.

He gazed up at her and she felt him respond to her, and she began to move her hips ever so slightly, teasingly. He moaned and whispered huskily, "Definitely the way I want to spend my mornings." He gave her a lopsided grin, "Good morning to you to, beautiful Goddess." Then he flipped her over to her back. She gave out a delighted squeal that quickly turned into a moan as his mouth found hers again and his hands caressed her body.