Chapter8 eaten by guilt

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"What the…get off me," Cry Baby yelled shoving Lenora off him. What had he done? Had he just kissed her? Guilt flooded through him when he thought of Allison especially in the condition he had left her in. He hadn't really kissed her had he? She was the one who kissed him. it wasn't really his fault was it? He was sure he could get Allison to understand that, if he ever told her that is.

Lenora looked at him smirking. "Dress it up however you wish Wade Walker but it wasn't just me doing the kissing there. You know as well as me you were kissing me back. You weren't complaining or pulling back. Infact I would say you rather enjoyed it."

"Get lost Lenora," he snapped. For the first time there was more truth to her words than lies. He had kissed her back no matter how much he wanted or tried to deny it he had kissed her back. He had pulled back but it didn't change the fact that he had kissed her.

"Alright, alright I'll go but it still doesn't change what happened. I wonder what Allison would make of this," she said calmly as she sauntered off.

His stomach churned and knotted at the thought of that. She wouldn't really tell Allison would she? Even if she did Allison wouldn't believe her would she not after all the stories she attempted to sell about her and him to the press.

Even if she didn't tell Allison or even if she did tell her he knew he would be cut up inside with guilt. How could he ever look her straight in the eye again after he had betrayed her like this? The kiss had meant nothing to him he hadn't even realised that he had been kissing her but there was no way he could expect her to believe that. It sickened him to his very stomach to think of the look of pain that would set in on her beautiful delicate features when she heard about it.

He wanted to be the one to take away all the hurt and pain she had been put through. He wanted to wipe away every tear she ever shed. He wanted o make sure she was never given any reason to shed another tear and he definitely didn't want to be the one who caused her to cry.

He guessed he had already more than likely made her cry because of how he had treated her just hours before, He was appalled at his actions she had only been trying to help him. Even after everything she had went through she still put him first and how had he repaid her? He had kissed another girl and not just any girl at that. He had kissed the girl who threatened to break up their relationship before. The girl who Allison could have quite easily believed there was something going on between them and has been quite within her right to do so. She had believed and trusted him after speaking to him and now he had betrayed her trust.

He thought it would be easier not to tell her but he couldn't he just couldn't lie to her like that and he couldn't stand the thought of her finding out off anybody else. He especially didn't want her to find out off Lenora. He knew Lenora would just love the opportunity to embarrass and upset her in public. He just couldn't do that to her. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than he knew he already had.

Why did he have to be so stupid? Why did he have to let her kiss him? Why didn't he pull away? Why did he have to waste the wonderful relationship he had with Allison all for a stupid kiss he could barely remember with a girl he hated. He knew Allison would want nothing to do with him after this and as much as that thought pained him he couldn't blame her.

He didn't want to tell her. He really didn't want to tell her. He knew he had no choice he had to. He got onto his bike and headed off to Allison's house and for the first time he wasn't looking forward to getting there and was looking less forward to seeing her. He never thought that would be possible and he hated himself even more for it.

For the first time ever he really did believe he was living up to the reputation many adults branded him and his gang with. He really was a teenage delinquent and a stupid drape. He was selfish he couldn't be anything else he hadn't taken Allison's thought and feelings into actions and now he had caused her more pain than he could even bring himself to think about.