Chapter 21

Jaina sat next to the bed and stared at the man lying on the sterile white sheets, his dark hair in stark contrast to the sheets and the greyish pallor of his skin. The constant beeping and rasp of the machines that were attached to him and the never ending clamor from the critical care unit of the Coruscant medical center grated on her fragile nerves. A week had passed since the mission and Kyp was still in critical condition with no signs of improvement.

The 2-1B droid and the human medic on Jacen's flagship, The Warrior Queen, immediately administered what they hoped would be a possible antidote within moments after the Falcon landed on the Hapan battle dragon. However, the antidote which had been produced as a counteragent to the Yuuzhan Vong amphistaff venom did not work; neither did the other possible antidotes which were administered during the hyperspace jump to Coruscant.

Kyp who had been in a healing trance slipped into a coma but he was considered stable at the time. Jaina was convinced finally by her parents and brother to go into a bacta tank for her own injury. She spent half a day in the tank but refused to go back in, she needed to be with Kyp; so, the medic grudgingly applied a bacta bandage to her wound instead. After that she never left his side, keeping vigil and praying to whatever gods may listen to bring him back to her.

She had no more tears to cry. She had cried the last when his heart stopped just before the The Warrior Queen's reversion to real space outside Coruscant. For a harrowing five minutes her mother and father held her tight outside the surgery while the medic, the droid and Jacen with whatever healing practices he had learned during his years of studying the Force, worked to restart Kyp's poison weakened heart. She wailed and screamed his name when she felt his life beginning to slip away from him.

Jaina eventually collapsed when she felt him return and the medic and Jacen emerged to announce they were able to restart his heart and that he was put on a ventilator. Now as she sat beside him in the medical center where the best doctors and droids in the Galaxy made their living saving the worst of the dying, she was surrounded by the machines that kept the Jedi Master's heart beating and his lungs breathing, while yet another possible antidote circulated in his blood.

She felt her brother's presence but did not turn to acknowledge him. She had Kyp's too cool hand held tightly in one of hers while she idly fingered the lightsaber pendent that she hadn't removed since the day Kyp put it around her neck. Jacen laid his hands on her shoulders as he stood behind her, gently massaging her tense shoulders careful not to disturb the bandage she still had on the lightsaber wound.

Quietly he said, "Jaya, you need to rest and eat something."

"I can't, Jacen. I need to be here." She finally turned her head to look at her twin.

"But you haven't eaten or really slept for days. We are as worried about you as we are about Kyp."

"I—I can't." She was silent for a long time and Jacen sighed and turned to go. He failed as well. Every member of the family had tried to accomplish the same thing with the same result. She refused to leave Kyp's side. He stopped when Jaina added so quietly he almost didn't hear it, "Thank you, Jasa."

"Jaina, you know I'd do anything for you. You are my sister, Jaya, I love you," his voice took on a huskiness from the deep emotion he was feeling.

Jaina turned to look at her brother who she had shared so much with. "I love you too, Jasa. I'm sorry for the things I said to you about the war. And the scene I made at your wedding." She glanced away for a moment, then swallowing she turned back to add, her voice cracking, "I hope you can forgive me."

Jacen kneeled before her and took her into his arms, "Jaina, there's nothing to forgive."

"That's what—that's what Kyp keeps telling me," she couldn't hold the tears back any longer, somewhere, somehow she found more to cry. "Jacen, just hold me." And on his shoulder she cried her despair.

X

Anther week went by and there was still no change in Kyp's condition. The medical team that consisted of two Ho'Din doctors, Cilghal, her latest apprentice, and numerous medial droids were trying desperately to save the once despised rogue Jedi Master, destroyer of Carida, if not for him, then for the distraught, fragile woman who never left his side. The young Jedi Knight who would hold his hand and talk to him for hours until exhaustion would finally claim her and she would fall to sleep with her head on the edge of his bed.

Han, Leia and the rest of the family painfully watched as Jaina kept her vigil. They stopped trying to get her to leave the hospital, they would bring her clothes and food and she only left his side long enough to allow the medical team time with him. She instisted that she needed to be there.

Jaina would quietly talk to Kyp for hours. She shared with him her most private thoughts and plans for their future. She admitted to her childhood infatuation with him when she was a little girl before Zekk entered her life. She described in detail her memories of him from childhood and how she first fought the first flutters of attraction to the man he had become when she was sixteen. She admitted to fighting those growing feelings at Hapes and at Borleias. She told him that she called them partners because she honestly considered him her partner in a way Jag Fel never could be. And that she could not imagine life without him.

She confessed to the comatose love of her life her deepest fears of losing him, of losing herself to the Darkness and of the fear of spending a life alone as the Sword of the Jedi. She realized that the reason she had deigned her love for him for so long was because she was frightened of what would become of her if she allowed herself to love him only to lose him.

She told him of her dreams of the future. Dreams she didn't really realize she had until she voiced them. Dreams of someday sitting on the Jedi Council with him by her side. Dreams of what her wedding day would be like. Dreams of children not yet born. She described to him in great detail what she thought their children would look like and what their personalities would be like. Dreams of growing old with him and of their grandchildren.

But mostly she told him over and over that she loved him and that she would never had become the woman she had without him in her life.

X

Another two weeks passed and the medical team was beginning to wonder if Kyp Durron would ever regain consciousness. Nothing seemed to counteract the poison that still was destroying his muscles and shutting down his organs.

X

Kyp found himself floating in a great abyss. There was nothing but darkness and Kyp was frightened. He could feel the pull of two presences through the Force drawing him. One was a Light that started out as no bigger than a far away star but he began to float towards it. Finding the Light comforting, he drew nearer to it and it suddenly grew to overwhelm his senses in its brightness. It beckoned him to enter the Light, calling to him. It welcomed him cleansing him of all his sins, forgiving him and comforting him. He suddenly wasn't frightened any longer. He stepped into the Light and basked in its joy.

Then he heard the Voice, the other presence that drew him in the opposite direction across the long dark abyss. He turned away from the Light to listen to it. Sweat and clear, the Voice called to him. He stepped away from the Light to listen to the beautiful comforting sound. He seemed to recognize it but couldn't understand the words. He needed to get closer to it. He stepped back into the dark abyss and began floating towards the sound of the Voice.

As he got closer to the sound of the Voice he found himself clinging to it, not wanting to let it go, not wanting the Light. During the time that he could not hear it, the Light seemed to beckon him again, wanting him to come back to it. But as he crossed the abyss the Light became less and less inviting and eventually it began to shrink back into a star. He was sad to see the Light go but he knew it could wait. Somehow he knew the Voice couldn't and he needed to go back to it.

The Voice became clearer as he came closer to it and finally he realized the source of the Voice. It was the voice of a Goddess—

"Please, Kyp, wake up. I love you, I always have and I always will until the day I die. Kyp, I can't say goodbye…"

X

Jaina sobbed. All hope was gone. The Council after consulting with the medical team seeing to Kyp's treatment decided that there was not much else that could be done. Kyp was dieing and was being kept alive only by the many machines that maintained his heart rate, breathing, kidney functions and other life extending equipment. His Force presence was nearly gone. The Council along with the Solos made the heart wrenching decision to remove Kyp Durron from all life support and let the once hated Jedi Master quietly go.

Jaina sat by his side for what she knew would be the last time. They would be coming in after everyone had their chance to say their goodbyes to remove the machines that for the past month had grated on every nerve of Jaina's being. She sobbed telling him over and over that she loved him and that she had no idea how she would be able to survive without him.

Suddenly, ever so gently she felt a slight pressure on her hand that was tightly holding his. She looked down and gasped, he was ever so slightly moving the fingers of that hand. Her eyes flew to his face and her heart leapt as she watched his eyes begin moving under his closed lids. The joy and relief that flooded her in that moment was so profound in the Force that the rest of the family who was standing outside the room rushed in.

Jaina stood up, leaned over him and reached up to touch the ashen cheek as she said in a voice rough from nearly nonstop talking and emotion, "Kyp?" She watched as his eye movement became more profound and he began to fight the breathing tube that was inserted through his mouth. "Oh, Kyp!" her voice was excited and she felt her parents wrap their arms around her. She listened to the heart monitor which up to then had been responding with a dreadfully slow constant beep begin to speed up.

—Kyp Durron was coming to; he was coming back to his Goddess.