Chapter14 The proposal

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Cry Baby ran over several ways in his head that he could propose to Allison. He wished he could have some grand gesture but he knew he simply did not have the money to do that. He wished that when he asked her to be his wife he could do so with the promise that he would be able to provide her with everything she wanted and deserved.

He wasn't even sure if he could afford a ring. He knew any ring he did but would not be of the best quality ring but he would buy her the best he could.

It was made even harder for him because of Allison's background. Allison had come from a much better off background than he had. He knew Allison didn't hold that against him or even consider it as a problem but he still had that niggling feeling at the back of his mind that told him she was worth so much more than he could ever provide for her.

He knew that even when he was older he would not have a lot of money. He knew the likelihood of him ever holding down a steady job were slim and any job he did hold down would not be well paid. It was just something that was not within his genes to do. If he were to hold down a steady job he would feel like he was betraying his parents.

He wanted Alison to know what she meant to him an that she was the only one for him.

"You're very deep in thought," Allison said rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Cry Baby jumped slightly He had been so deep in thought he hadn't noticed her stir. Allison giggled slightly when he jumped. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you," she said with an easy smile.

"I was miles away," he said softly as he looked back to her.

"I'd noticed. Any chance of you haring them with me?" she asked.

Cry Baby bit his lip something told him to just do it now. The grand gestures and the how and where he proposed to her weren't important it was the proposal itself that was important. The problem was he didn't know how to do it. What did he say to her? Did he opt for the standard "will you marry me?" line or did he try and come up with something original? He felt his mouth becoming dry and his palms sweaty and all this was before he had even said anything to her.

Allison watched him closely he was behaving strangely. She wasn't sure what could have caused him to become so uneasily so suddenly. She decided to give him a few more minutes before she said anything.

"Yes…yes I'll share my thoughts with you," he said nodding.

"Alright then…I will need you to tell me your thoughts I'm not a mind reader," she said softly when a few more minutes of silence followed his last words.

"Sorry," he said.

Allison waved it off waiting for him to say what was on his mind.

"Okay when I say this don't interrupt me just let me finish okay baby," he said to her.

"Alright…what is it?" Allison asked carefully.

"You know how much you mean to baby. I love you so much and I hate knowing that I have hurt you. Like I said to you the first night we went out I really do believe that we are meant to be together. I can't imagine my life without you. What I'm trying to say is…I'm sorry I'm not very good at this. What I am trying to say or should I say ask you is will you marry me?" he asked his voice shaking with nerves.

Allison stared at him in a stunned silence.

"I haven't got you a ring yet but we can sort that…" he went on. "So…will you marry me?"

Allison looked at him and then slowly shook her head. "No," she whispered quietly.