Note: Just so you all know… The thing with the hole… I DIDN'T MAKE IT UP! Someone I know did it once and told me about it… So I just had to put it in this story.

Episode Six – Ryuichi Sakuma

Hello, and welcome to the sixth episode of "The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People"! Before I start the show, I'd like to answer one question that I've been asked oh-so-many times. "When will you be spying on Eiri?" The answer to that question is… LAST! (AN- I have the funniest idea for his chapter.) Sorry! Anyhoo… I'm your host, the incredible Kei-chan -whoosh-, and this week our victim is the childish and adorable, RYUICHI SAKUMA! Now… You all may know Ryu-chan as loud, outgoing, childish, and innocent. But behind closed doors, he could be an evil mastermind plotting to take over the planet! Or a crazed serial killer. Who knows? Well, you're all about to find out during the sixth exciting episode of "The Not-So-Secret Life of Gay People"!

Woah! Why's all of this smoke coming from Ryuichi's apartment? I hope he didn't light the kitchen on fire… --- Ok, now I'm inside his apartment. And… WOW! You viewers aren't going to be too happy seeing this one! It turns out that the Ryuichi Sakuma we all know and love is actually… A… A pot-head, druggie! He's smoking TONS of pot! …I guess that explains a lot… Well, we'll just have to come back tonight when he's not stoned.

- 8:00 pm -

Oh! It looks like Ryu keeps a journal! Aww… How cute. I wonder what he writes in it. Let's go see!

May 16, 2006

Damnit! Today's plot to kill Shuichi didn't work. WHY WON'T HE DIE! The sooner I get rid of him, the sooner Nittle Grasper can be Japan's #1 band again. It's not fair… I guess I'm going to have to take out all of my anger on Kumagorou again…

Hmm… I wonder what he means by "take out all of my anger on Kumagorou…" The only thing that I can think of is the sexual term. Maybe we'll find out if we watch. – Oh, what's this? There seems to be a hole in the bottom of Kumagorou… And there's some white stuff dripping out of it… I really hope that's spit… 'Cause if its not… Then I'll be REALLY grossed out. EWW! – I'm only 99.9 percentsure that it's not spit…

Ok… God… For ONCE, can't we have someone that's NORMAL! …Or at least not gross/disgusting? Well… Let's hope next week's victim, Hiroshi Nakano, isn't as gross as Ryuichi.

That's all for today's show. Just remember, it's only legal if you don't get caught!

See you next time!